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Should you ground your Tulpa on emotional states that you experience more often, rather than what you want them to be?


neo

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1 hour ago, neo said:

Is there a specific way to make them happen? Or is it just like, waiting for them to happen randomly?

Too me it's sort of adjacent to mindfulness but a very different mindset. Instead of silencing your own mindvoice, then ignoring the brain's random noise and letting it pass over you until they fizzle out - listen to it instead, try to become aware of every little thought, and examine them directly. Latch on to thoughts, decide if it sounds like it's you or them. Unconscious thought doesn't really happen when directed - you just learn to pay attention to them more. 

 

If your tulpa is still actually doing some passive work to prevent them, as well, ask her to cease. Ask them to join you in making sense and talking about your combined thoughts instead.

Zen - Host.

Mika - Tulpa. The eldest, and a homegrown tupper made with tulpamancy.

Rhys - Tulpa. Initially a Literary Thoughtform of my own creation.

Asterion - Tulpa. Literary, I suppose? Mythological egregore, maybe? He's The Minotaur.

If text is uncoloured, presume Zen is talking. We go by he/him.

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I've learned something very important about tulpamancy: Whatever aspect you put into a tulpa magnifies it in you. So I think you're actually asking the wrong question. Instead of asking whether it's good to associate a tulpa with an emotion you feel you don't experience often, you should be asking what kind of person do you want to be, and what do you want to feel more often? The answer to that will be the mental and emotional food you feed your tulpa to grow. 

 

I believe you have more love within you than you know. Why do I say this? Because you've already associated being loving and playful with your tulpa's very core. That means you're seeking it for yourself, and with your tulpa's help you will find it. I say this from personal experience: over the last several years I found myself asking myself if I was honestly still capable of love. But Simmie has answered that definitively for me as I have found that I have more love than I ever thought I did.

 

So no, you didn't make a mistake, in fact, you did a very smart thing. If you're concerned about being unable to summon her when you're distressed, that's just a matter of training and practice. It's not an easy thing to host a second consciousness in your mind and it's definitely going to be harder if your mind isn't in a good place. But continuing to grow and build those neural pathways through tulpamancy will make this easier over time. She may even come to react instinctively to your distress. "Uh oh, Neo's in trouble, time to get in there and see how I can help" or something along those lines. And then the love that you imbued her with will come out and be projected back onto you through her. This will grow into a cycle within your brain where negative energy will be quickly met with positive energy, and it can only help.

Phil. 😎 Host of Simmie.

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3 hours ago, September13 said:

I've learned something very important about tulpamancy: Whatever aspect you put into a tulpa magnifies it in you. So I think you're actually asking the wrong question. Instead of asking whether it's good to associate a tulpa with an emotion you feel you don't experience often, you should be asking what kind of person do you want to be, and what do you want to feel more often? The answer to that will be the mental and emotional food you feed your tulpa to grow. 

 

I believe you have more love within you than you know. Why do I say this? Because you've already associated being loving and playful with your tulpa's very core. That means you're seeking it for yourself, and with your tulpa's help you will find it. I say this from personal experience: over the last several years I found myself asking myself if I was honestly still capable of love. But Simmie has answered that definitively for me as I have found that I have more love than I ever thought I did.

 

So no, you didn't make a mistake, in fact, you did a very smart thing. If you're concerned about being unable to summon her when you're distressed, that's just a matter of training and practice. It's not an easy thing to host a second consciousness in your mind and it's definitely going to be harder if your mind isn't in a good place. But continuing to grow and build those neural pathways through tulpamancy will make this easier over time. She may even come to react instinctively to your distress. "Uh oh, Neo's in trouble, time to get in there and see how I can help" or something along those lines. And then the love that you imbued her with will come out and be projected back onto you through her. This will grow into a cycle within your brain where negative energy will be quickly met with positive energy, and it can only help.

Yep even with empathy you still sorta need to have that part within you to recognize it in someone else. I think that's what 'tulpish' is. The same way they share your stream of thought in the beginning they also share your emotional toolset in order to feel emotions. The same way your tulpa can't start speaking a language you don't know, they probably aren't able to feel emotions you don't have knowledge of. When they feel an emotion that you're not familiar with, it's like making up a language, for instance those priests that speak "in tongues". They think they're speaking japanese when they're actually just making what they think it's japanese sounding noises. For them it's the same think since they don't actually know japanese to be able to tell the difference. Same applies to conceptualized emotions that you haven't experienced yet. My idea of tulpas being representations of existing parts of yourself may be a little reductionist but it does seem to be a consistent way to look at it. But they also seem to be able represent your idea of what it would be like to feel an emotion that you don't know yet.

 

 

 

 

Thank's everybody that answered so far ya'll have been really helpful.

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On 3/1/2021 at 6:48 PM, neo said:

if you pick something like "playful" or "loving", if you don't feel those emotions on a daily basis on your own, you're not going to be able to summon those emotions out of nowhere to "feed" them that emotion.

 

I was severely depressed when I accepted my system into my life, I had very little if any joy to feed, they fed me. So don't worry about that.

 

On 3/1/2021 at 6:48 PM, neo said:

That makes me afraid of not being able to summon her whenever I actually need her, because at that time those positive emotions will be even more scarce.

 

Be careful here because this can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like Darlene always told me, "don't worry about progress, this isn't a race, you have the rest of your life."

 

There's no guarantee she'll be  what you want her to be, but normally she'd want to be what you want her to be eventually.

 

On 3/1/2021 at 8:37 PM, neo said:

She has expressed those kind of emotions before too, but I have purposefully blocked her

 

Uh, don't.

 

18 hours ago, neo said:

Is there a specific way to make them happen? Or is it just like, waiting for them to happen randomly?

 

I think it's more like, let it happen than make it happen. Though parroting is okay too.

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2 hours ago, BearBaeBeau said:

I was severely depressed when I accepted my system into my life, I had very little if any joy to feed, they fed me. So don't worry about that.

Maybe the way I phrased the question gave the wrong impression. Let me see if I can clarify it a little better.

 

Let's say you're someone like me that watches a lot of news everyday and likes to think about that a lot. This is your routine, meaning, that's what your brain will default to doing when you're not actively trying to change your own behavior or forcing. So for you to make a tulpa of someone that is part of that news world or that likes to take interest in that kind of subject would come more naturally than lets say a tulpa that's all about sports, a topic you don't care about. 

Because when you're not actively trying to force, your brain will go back to doing whatever it was before, but if that thing is also related to your tulpa they will be interested in whatever you will be doing on default mode. As opposed to the tulpa that's not related to whatever you do on your day to day life and requires you to go out of your way to think about the things they care about. Does that makes more sense?

 

2 hours ago, BearBaeBeau said:

Be careful here because this can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like Darlene always told me, "don't worry about progress, this isn't a race, you have the rest of your life."

That's true, it's usually a good idea to keep an open mind and not be 100% sure of anything really. But it is starting to get fun now. Before, it was just excruciating discipline and focus, now it's more like I'm trying to incorporate the things I've learned in my day to day life. So I don't have to go out of my way in order to have those stronger experiences. Or that I can count on them even if I'm not able to do any sort of preparation. That was the point of this question.

 

I hope I'm making sense here, it's a little difficult to talk about these subjective experiences using language in a way that makes sense to everybody.

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7 hours ago, neo said:

The same way your tulpa can't start speaking a language you don't know, they probably aren't able to feel emotions you don't have knowledge of.

Not true. The only way this happens is by you thinking it happens which feeds the brain a suggestion about it not being possible. The brain can give a model any emotion that it understands - your understanding is irrelevant to the process. My tulpa for instance has a rather problematic one: Jealousy. I've not felt jealous a day in my life, it just doesn't seem to be in my nature - But my tulpa does.

 

1 hour ago, neo said:

So for you to make a tulpa of someone that is part of that news world or that likes to take interest in that kind of subject would come more naturally than lets say a tulpa that's all about sports, a topic you don't care about. 

In general it seems like you're limiting your own abilities by telling your mind limits that don't exist. It's not difficult for the brain to do that at all. You've seen someone interested in sports before. Imagine them. Hell, imagine Rocky Balboa. That's how easy it is. 

 

I wouldn't suggest intentionally giving a tulpa different interests to you that are incompatible with your life, but that's mostly a matter of not making them a perpetually bored, unfulfilled tulpa. It's perfectly possible.

 

2 hours ago, neo said:

that's what your brain will default to doing when you're not actively trying to change your own behavior or forcing

You need to associate the tulpa with whatever you're doing. That doesn't mean they need to like it all the time. The goal is to be continually thinking about them, not continually getting them excited, although that may help it's not practical in every situation.

 

Zen - Host.

Mika - Tulpa. The eldest, and a homegrown tupper made with tulpamancy.

Rhys - Tulpa. Initially a Literary Thoughtform of my own creation.

Asterion - Tulpa. Literary, I suppose? Mythological egregore, maybe? He's The Minotaur.

If text is uncoloured, presume Zen is talking. We go by he/him.

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(edited)
On 3/2/2021 at 10:49 AM, ZenAndMika said:

instead of trying to block out random thought, with your tulpa, categorize them into groups - Me, Tulpa, Both of us, Random noise/Reflex (of which intrusive thoughts are a part), Other/Don't know.


This was a good tip thanks, I did something very similar and it was helpful.

While meditating I tried to separate my perspective of self from my inner monologue, but instead of counting and separating which is me and which thoughts are intrusive and whatnot, I just meditated as if they were all intrusive, as if my stream of consciousness and every single thought I was experiencing was something external and involuntary. I just used a mantra like "this is not me" and thought it over and over while dissociating from the words until a change of perspective happened. This led to a burst of dissociation and I accidentally switched for like ten seconds I think. It also improved my visualization further.

It's a little scary to be honest I'm so used to be attached to my inner monologue your brain kinda freaks out a little, but afterwards all goes back to normal.

Edited by neo
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2 hours ago, BearBaeBeau said:

Things people worry about before having headmates.

I did, but people said it shouldn't matter back then and that it doesn't make any difference. Yet here I am a year later wondering the same thing. Whenever I'm not forcing or actively aware of my state of mind, my brain is just constantly thinking about random bullshit, I thought maybe it would be easier to incorporate my tulpa into participating in that, than to actually try to change a lifelong habit of thinking constantly. But everybody is saying again that this is not the right approach so I'm still trying to find a way to allow her to be active all the time without me having to consciously decide to get into tulpa mode every day. I guess I just suck at passive forcing.

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