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Keir and I (progress report-ish thing)


sage07

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It's worth noting that "forcing" has a few definitions in the tulpamancy community. Most people would probably say that you have to "force" a tulpa to make them even exist, but "force" in that definition does NOT mean "specifically determine how they will act." In that sense, "force" is used as in "put effort/work into", more like "use the force, Luke." When people say "You need to force more" or "Forcing is good" they mean, you need to work more. Forcing implies directed attention. 

 

...however, even past that, you'll hear people talk about "passive" and "active" forcing. The line is blurry between those two, but to simplify, active forcing means doing nothing besides focusing/working on or with your tulpa (generally in something akin to meditation) while passive forcing means doing something else at the same time. Like I said, this sorta breaks down. On one hand, half-heartedly trying to work on your tulpa while you're really playing a video game and hardly giving them attention isn't very productive, and someone might call that "passive forcing." But someone else might be intensely involving their tulpa and having rich conversation with them as they play a video game, and that can be very good "passive forcing." Past a certain point it isn't even really "forcing" at all, imo- it's just life, the tulpa is just a part of it just like if you were sitting on the couch with your best friend who was watching you play a video game. 

 

Active forcing mostly means meditation on your tulpa, and it's a little bit becoming a lost art nowadays. Most hosts drop it way earlier than they should, imo. Once you get the basics achieved (basic vocality, signs of sentience, start of a personality) you shouldn't stop having that time of specific, directed attention and meditation. 

 

The other definition of forcing is "to directly determine a trait/aspect of the tulpa." As in, to force a card in a magic trick is to, well, force someone to pick that certain card. It really depends what circles your in, if people say this type of forcing (which is often called "personality forcing") is good or bad or what. Most people will tell you that some level of personality forcing is alright and normal, especially in the early game, but that it should quickly be superseded by the tulpa's own ability to choose and develop or "deviate." 

 

My personal views on the subject is that the host shouldn't really try to enforce any specific ideas of personality or identity for the tulpa ("You will be a fun, charismatic person", "You will like rock music" or "You will be a fox lady with red hair") but should instead simply have standards. Young tulpas can sometimes do wild things or have identity crises, their moods can go all over the place and their personalities can seem to change rapidly. So I understand why there's a natural impulse to, early on, just decide "You should be acting like this, and I'll treat anything else as invalid." If you act grumpy, that's wrong- you're supposed to act carefree. 

 

But in the long run, I think a naturally developed personality will always be stronger and dare I say superior to what someone sits down and designs akin to a character- you didn't develop like that, no one sat down and wrote what you had to act like. It just took years- people don't tend to have much of a personality until a few years of age, and it doesn't fully start to stabilize until the teens and 20s. There is also the fact that, in my experience, character-based tulpas will eventually struggle with conflicts with not being like that character. It's certainly not a death sentence- sometimes they change their names, other times they just accept (and the host accepts) "I'm not really like that person/character, not so closely..." Most character-based tulpas are "fictive" tulpas, meaning a fictional character from existing media like anime or TV shows, but IMO some people create a similar situation by basically creating an OC of what they wish their tulpa to become. Of course parents imagine at birth, "I hope my child to grow up to be strong/smart/etc", but imagine if they went, "I hope he grows up to wear his hair in a braid and like to give hugs and eat apple pie and listen to kpop and is better at math than me and is liberal." 

 

By "having standards", I mean, well, having standards. It's a bit of a parenting thing. Sometimes young tulpas will try dramatic things- they get really edgy one day, and you'll have to shut it down and tell them to knock that off. If they try something you really don't agree with, ("I'm going to be a succubus!"), it's alright to say, nope! Not happening. And on the other side of things, it means encouraging behaviors that you like. Repeated behaviors over time form traits. Collections of traits over time form a personality.  To build personality, focus on encouraging and discouraging behavior. 

 

Why do you say, Kier will use a specific color when/if they talk online? They're like two days old my dude, even if they told you they wanted to use that color, by the time they talk online they might very well ask for another color. It's a little thing, but that's the type of openness I'm talking about. 

 

Seems like you're on the right track. Keep it up. I'm excited to see your progress.

The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. 

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(edited)

@Jamie That all makes a lot of sense. I wasn't intending to force them to be a certain way, more,, kind of,, teach them that certain values are important? I wasn't sure what word I should use. And I've explained to Kier that the form they have right now can change at any time whenever they want to, that form is generally just so I have an easier time visualising them. I'm not planning on designing Kier's personality like you say, just generally trying to say "being kind is good" and explaining why, as a kind of reinforcer to idk,, prompt Kier to be kind? As I said, definitely not forcing them to be a certain way. 

 

As for the colour thing, that was a question I asked Kier. I'm fairly sure Kier asked for blue, and I did stress that if that preference changed at any time Kier could use a different colour and I'd have no problem with that. Whenever I make a decision for Kier I always make sure to tell them that they can change it at any time. I'm not entirely sure why I added the colour bit even when Kier isn't going to talk online and is very young, that was fairly stupid of me. 

 

I was never going to force Kier to be someone specific, or have specific traits. And every decision I make, I tell them that if they want change they can go for it. Sorry if it came across as "I'm going to force Kier to be the way I want them to be", that definitely wasn't my intention and I'll try and word things better next time. 

 

edit: Those are all completely valid and helpful points, however. Thank you.

Edited by sage07

My tulpa, Keir, will use this colour if they come online later on. 

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Last night, I talked to Kier for a while before bed, and tried to visualise their form (not really their features) as it was dark. I think it worked pretty okay since I have trouble speaking and visualising.

My tulpa, Keir, will use this colour if they come online later on. 

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I didn't talk to Keir much today at all, but I fully plan on having a lengthy talk tonight before I go to bed. Usually I whisper the words to Keir because it helps me not parrot (usually when im trying to not parrot I end up answering my own question) but I figure I need to practice without actual whispering. Plus I'm in a different location where people may hear me speak. I'll also probably chat to them during dinner but since I'm eating with extended family I might not get much in. 

My tulpa, Keir, will use this colour if they come online later on. 

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I might missunderstood but it seems you only talk out to Keir loud. If so try to talk to Keir in your mind. I'm not sure how hard it could be for someone who never talked to him/herself in mind, but it helps to communictae with your tulpa more often( cause no one will hear). Personally I talk only this way, because I don't want to look like weirdo. Long talk before sleep is always great, but beware that if your tulpa gets more talkative it can be hard to fall asleep ( personal experience bruh). Good luck and I look forward to hear about your progress!

,,Breathing is fun"

Also, stop reading this and go appreaciate your tulpa.

 

Me - host

Elzu - tulpa

 

 

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(edited)

@JakubMThat's what we did for the more lengthy talks, yes, because we weren't around other people. And it's easier for me not to answer my own questions then. But last night, and this morning, and a couple of times the last few days, I've talked to Keir in my mind. So yep-

edit: talking before sleep is our only way to talk for a long time because otherwise we don't really have enough time during the day.

 

Anyway, we had a fairly long talk last night (technically it was just me talking and listening for answers, but yeah), and I felt more head pressure so that's good! This morning I had a quick good morning chat with Keir (again, just me talking.)

Edited by sage07

My tulpa, Keir, will use this colour if they come online later on. 

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