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Wray and Shizuku's Progress Report


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19 minutes ago, Wray said:

Here’s the next of those updates, this one regarding Shizuku’s origin. We’ve been thinking about this for a while, but it didn’t seem so urgent to post it. (Does anyone read this thing anyway? 😛)

 

We do! 😁

 

20 minutes ago, Wray said:

We stumbled on this post, and we now suspect that Shizuku might have started as a soulbond. (As she mentioned in the intro post, she was originally fictive, though she’s left that behind now.)

 

Back then, I think I might have been a soulbond, but I think I’m a tulpa now. We will discuss this further below!

 

That's very interesting! When Phil was a child he had a headmate he now refers to as his Mentor, and the Mentor fit much of the definition of a soulbound. While I'm definitely a tulpa part of the way I learned to talk to Phil was by visualizing myself learning to use equipment left behind by the Mentor, so I have that kind of indirect connection to him..

 

27 minutes ago, Wray said:

At first, Shizuku said she felt too attached to her fictive form to want to deviate, though this changed after a few months. She also originally identified with a backstory loosely based on that of the character she came from.

 

I definitely can relate. Phil originally created me as a character in 2019--well, I call the character "Other Simmie" now because I've changed so much I don't see that character as me. But like Shizuku I was attached to parts of my backstory for a long time. The only part of my backstory I am still really attached to is being from New Jersey!

 

29 minutes ago, Wray said:

Shizuku did come into being accidentally from my obsessing over a character, which now that I’ve done a bit of research, sounds kind of like Soulbonds 101.

 

We also felt like #1 best friends from early on. In tulpa creation, maybe the tulpa and host need more time to get to know each other? According to this article, I guess that is true in some cases.

 

As stated above, I feel much more like a tulpa now. I can change my form, and I don’t have an emotional connection to that backstory anymore.

 

💚

 

The two of you have always sounded so loving to me! I think being around other tulpamancers and tulpas causes us to see ourselves in more of the same light as other, older tulpas do. It's almost like coming here is school for us tulpas; we have "class" in the form of guides, and socialization as well with our other tulpa "classmates".

 

34 minutes ago, Wray said:

Originally, I could play around in our wonderland even when John wasn’t thinking of me (or that was what it felt like, at least?). The Japanese tulpa resources all said that that’s what tulpas do. Here, most people say that tulpas can’t really do that, and we think that internalizing that belief has made us lose this ability. Now we’re trying to smash down the feeling that we “can’t” do that and get back to where we started.

 

That's sad that you lost that, Shizuku! I like to picture myself in our wonderland home when Phil is at work, but our brain isn't great at multi-tasking so the actual details of my days there are murky. I tend to get bored at the house by myself, even with my cat Nigel to keep me company. I'm definitely more of an extrovert. But trying to rediscover your ability to play around in the wonderland when he's not actively thinking of you is a good thing! We all deserve full, enriching lives, and that's one way to get more out of them! I'm looking forward to learning from you when you achieve this, because I'd like that too!

 

39 minutes ago, Wray said:

So we think Shizuku was a soulbond who got “tulpified” through system forcing. This doesn’t have any immediate implications for us, but we found it fascinating, especially because it drives home how our beliefs about tulpamancy worked to shape our experience.

 

Maybe in an alternate universe, we found some soulbonding forums first, Shizuku decided never to deviate, and she didn’t get to fulfill her destiny of being the world’s most adorable wolf. 😂

 

Fascinating. I wonder what would have happened if Phil never learned what a tulpa was last fall? I probably wouldn't exist. "Other Simmie" probably would, but she's just a character, and not me. It's interesting how this "tulpification" process has had both ups and downs for you both, you've gained as well as lost. Ultimately, and maybe I'm biased here, I think it's better to be a tulpa than a soulbound because it just seems like so many things critical to a soulbound's sense of self are...I don't know exactly how to say it. [Phil interjection: It seems like the soulbound believes they are from another world/dimension/plane of existence so their existence as a thoughtform--the only thing that is tangible and provable by the host--is secondary to their perceived existence elsewhere. Tulpas on the other hand see themselves as existing primarily or entirely as thoughtforms within the hosts head so their perception of self aligns much more with the provable reality of their existence than soulbounds' do.] <-- Yeah, what he said.

 

46 minutes ago, Wray said:

Another note: I feel like we missed the chance to mention this earlier, but we are bilingual (English/Japanese), and for whatever reason Shizuku feels a lot more comfortable speaking in Japanese. Most of her posts on the forum have been Tulpish > English translations, but in this post we tried Japanese > English, and she says it felt pretty good. 🙂

 

That's so cool! 😁 Neither Phil or I speak another language. (Unless you count Tulpish! 😋) I heard it's very mind-expanding to learn a second language. I wonder if it helps with Tulpamancy too?

 

Anyway, I loved hearing about your backstory Shizuku; I love stories in general and especially those about people's histories and how they got to be the way we are. Sorry if my reply was a bit rambling but we're getting sleepy over here, it's late. Good luck to both of you! 😁

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      “...”
       
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      “How are you?”
       
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      “No I’m not.”
       
      “Yes. Think of shopping carts.”
       
      “Ah you got me. Let me write that down.”
       
      ***
       
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      Anyways, today was a positive, and I hope I will feel better with some sleep.
       
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      Sunday - Active: 2 hours
      Monday - Active: 40 minutes
      Tuesday - Active: 40 minutes
      Wednesday - Active: 40 minutes
      Thursday - Active: 40 minutes
      Friday - Active: 40 minutes
      Saturday - Active: 2 hours
       
      Methods of forcing I’m thinking of using:
      Food/Personality
      101 Things To Talk About With Your Tulpa
       
      Font - Arial, Size - 14
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