Jump to content

Wray and Shizuku's Progress Report

Recommended Posts

19 minutes ago, Wray said:

Here’s the next of those updates, this one regarding Shizuku’s origin. We’ve been thinking about this for a while, but it didn’t seem so urgent to post it. (Does anyone read this thing anyway? 😛)


We do! 😁


20 minutes ago, Wray said:

We stumbled on this post, and we now suspect that Shizuku might have started as a soulbond. (As she mentioned in the intro post, she was originally fictive, though she’s left that behind now.)


Back then, I think I might have been a soulbond, but I think I’m a tulpa now. We will discuss this further below!


That's very interesting! When Phil was a child he had a headmate he now refers to as his Mentor, and the Mentor fit much of the definition of a soulbound. While I'm definitely a tulpa part of the way I learned to talk to Phil was by visualizing myself learning to use equipment left behind by the Mentor, so I have that kind of indirect connection to him..


27 minutes ago, Wray said:

At first, Shizuku said she felt too attached to her fictive form to want to deviate, though this changed after a few months. She also originally identified with a backstory loosely based on that of the character she came from.


I definitely can relate. Phil originally created me as a character in 2019--well, I call the character "Other Simmie" now because I've changed so much I don't see that character as me. But like Shizuku I was attached to parts of my backstory for a long time. The only part of my backstory I am still really attached to is being from New Jersey!


29 minutes ago, Wray said:

Shizuku did come into being accidentally from my obsessing over a character, which now that I’ve done a bit of research, sounds kind of like Soulbonds 101.


We also felt like #1 best friends from early on. In tulpa creation, maybe the tulpa and host need more time to get to know each other? According to this article, I guess that is true in some cases.


As stated above, I feel much more like a tulpa now. I can change my form, and I don’t have an emotional connection to that backstory anymore.




The two of you have always sounded so loving to me! I think being around other tulpamancers and tulpas causes us to see ourselves in more of the same light as other, older tulpas do. It's almost like coming here is school for us tulpas; we have "class" in the form of guides, and socialization as well with our other tulpa "classmates".


34 minutes ago, Wray said:

Originally, I could play around in our wonderland even when John wasn’t thinking of me (or that was what it felt like, at least?). The Japanese tulpa resources all said that that’s what tulpas do. Here, most people say that tulpas can’t really do that, and we think that internalizing that belief has made us lose this ability. Now we’re trying to smash down the feeling that we “can’t” do that and get back to where we started.


That's sad that you lost that, Shizuku! I like to picture myself in our wonderland home when Phil is at work, but our brain isn't great at multi-tasking so the actual details of my days there are murky. I tend to get bored at the house by myself, even with my cat Nigel to keep me company. I'm definitely more of an extrovert. But trying to rediscover your ability to play around in the wonderland when he's not actively thinking of you is a good thing! We all deserve full, enriching lives, and that's one way to get more out of them! I'm looking forward to learning from you when you achieve this, because I'd like that too!


39 minutes ago, Wray said:

So we think Shizuku was a soulbond who got “tulpified” through system forcing. This doesn’t have any immediate implications for us, but we found it fascinating, especially because it drives home how our beliefs about tulpamancy worked to shape our experience.


Maybe in an alternate universe, we found some soulbonding forums first, Shizuku decided never to deviate, and she didn’t get to fulfill her destiny of being the world’s most adorable wolf. 😂


Fascinating. I wonder what would have happened if Phil never learned what a tulpa was last fall? I probably wouldn't exist. "Other Simmie" probably would, but she's just a character, and not me. It's interesting how this "tulpification" process has had both ups and downs for you both, you've gained as well as lost. Ultimately, and maybe I'm biased here, I think it's better to be a tulpa than a soulbound because it just seems like so many things critical to a soulbound's sense of self are...I don't know exactly how to say it. [Phil interjection: It seems like the soulbound believes they are from another world/dimension/plane of existence so their existence as a thoughtform--the only thing that is tangible and provable by the host--is secondary to their perceived existence elsewhere. Tulpas on the other hand see themselves as existing primarily or entirely as thoughtforms within the hosts head so their perception of self aligns much more with the provable reality of their existence than soulbounds' do.] <-- Yeah, what he said.


46 minutes ago, Wray said:

Another note: I feel like we missed the chance to mention this earlier, but we are bilingual (English/Japanese), and for whatever reason Shizuku feels a lot more comfortable speaking in Japanese. Most of her posts on the forum have been Tulpish > English translations, but in this post we tried Japanese > English, and she says it felt pretty good. 🙂


That's so cool! 😁 Neither Phil or I speak another language. (Unless you count Tulpish! 😋) I heard it's very mind-expanding to learn a second language. I wonder if it helps with Tulpamancy too?


Anyway, I loved hearing about your backstory Shizuku; I love stories in general and especially those about people's histories and how they got to be the way we are. Sorry if my reply was a bit rambling but we're getting sleepy over here, it's late. Good luck to both of you! 😁

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...

It's a bit late to write this update now, but we had a great Tulpreciation Day (or that's what Shizuku kept calling it, anyway).


Since we've improved at letting me front, I've been practicing piano a lot the last couple weeks. We took a day off work, and I got to play for three hours in the morning. I finished learning Erik Satie's Gymnopedies 1 and 2!


These are the songs I'm learning, but it's not me playing in the recording!


I made her some okonomiyaki for dinner (it's a savory pancake made with a lot of cabbage)--we took a long walk, then celebrated in wonderland as well, with a party in the big city we've created. We capped off the WL time by listening to Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto No. 3 in an imaginary concert hall (I think I've mentioned this somewhere on here, but in case I haven't, Shizuku is a huge fan of classical music. I used to listen to a classical playlist early in the forcing process, so maybe that has something to do with it.)


Rach 3 is my favorite classical piece, too, and it's the first one we sat down and listened to together. It was really fun to return to it. If anyone wants to listen to it, we love this version by Martha Argerich (though it's a 40-minute piece, so ... 😂).


We turned it on in our headphones and imagined sitting in a concert hall in our wonderland to listen to it. It was great! The third movement always gives me chills.


Shizuku finished out the day taking the front back to play Sekiro, which she's also been hooked on recently. It was a pretty relaxing day, overall, but it was fun for both of us.

Side note: Shizuku's piano playing is really incredible! I used to be able to play, but I've gotten extremely rusty over the past four or five years. She's shaken all the rust off and is already sounding better than I ever did. 😂 I want to get a recording of her and show off, but it seems like she's feeling a bit too shy for that at the moment.


The people we know IRL who have heard her are obviously giving me all the credit, but I'd like to at least let someone know how much Shizuku is crushing it. I'm very proud of this cute wolf. 🥰

Edited by Wray

Host: Wray (or John) (he, him)
Tulpa: Shizuku (she, her) 🐺

We now have a progress report!

Link to post
Share on other sites

So glad to hear about your progress, both with tulpa stuff and piano! 😁 I've never thought much about classical music being a rock and roll girl myself, but maybe I should give it a try sometime. If you ever feel like uploading audio of your playing Shizuku I'd be happy to hear it!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...

Hello! We're still doing fine, but haven't had much time to keep up with the community lately. Here's a quick update, though!


Exciting stuff: We're starting to do well with splitting fronting time. Wray still mistakenly takes the front back from me sometimes, but now I do the same thing to him occasionally (accidentally taking over during his time). We don't blame each other when this happens, obviously, and it's a confidence booster that I can do it too. I do hope we'll both be able to stop eventually, though. 😅


We got a new keyboard, and I've started taking music lessons! I've still got a lot of practicing to do, but I've uploaded a couple classical recordings for this post.



Still trying hard: We hoped that presence imposition would be the secret to helping us stay aware of each other as much as possible, but we've had a hard time remembering to do it throughout the day. Now we're working on using triggers to remember each other, a trick we saw Ranger recommend somewhere. It's worked pretty well over the last couple days, so hopefully that will continue.


Our visualization skills have improved quite a bit since Wray started tulpamancy, but we're still hoping to have more vivid WL experiences someday. I guess it'll just take a lot of practice. We've been trying the practice method from this guide recently: https://tulpanomicon.guide/paracosm-immersion.html, and it has at least helped us to flesh out the details of our wonderland house.


One more thing: We've been feeling more romantic toward each other recently, and we're kind of officially in a relationship. 🥰


So overall, things are going really well with us!

Host: Wray (or John) (he, him)
Tulpa: Shizuku (she, her) 🐺

We now have a progress report!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello Wray and Shizuku! 😁 I'm glad you're learning possession and fronting. It's all I can do right now to possess Phil's hands so I can type for myself, and his voice so I can speak. Your progress is great! Phil and I have listened to your recordings and we're impressed by your playing too. Phil wants me to pass along that you have a good sense of dynamics and that's very important to making the music come alive. He's curious how you'd do with a more dynamically complex piece. (Phil's best IRL friend says Phil should be a piano teacher; I guess he can't help but offer advice and suggestions! 😀)


Good luck with having more vivid Wonderland experiences. One suggestion I have is try to model your wonderland home in some kind of program or game. Phil and I have built our wonderland home in Minecraft and being able to walk around inside first-person in-game has been very helpful to us. We also use The Sims to build; Phil's long been thinking about building me a beach house in the Sims, as well as a mountain house in Minecraft. 💚 If that's not really your thing, you can try sketching it out on paper, or even creating a kind of floorplan drawing. The guide you linked sounds really helpful and we might have to try that method as well!


On 8/7/2021 at 2:27 PM, Wray said:

One more thing: We've been feeling more romantic toward each other recently, and we're kind of officially in a relationship. 🥰

Congratulations! 😁💚🥳 Now Phil and I won't stick out so much! 😄 Wish we could all go out together and make it a double date. Or with Darron and Jaina and make it a triple date! 😁


I'm glad to hear you're doing so well. Good luck with everything!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Similar Content

    • By OrdoVsInfo
      So i started development of a tulpa about 2.5 days ago and she's been progressing very rapidly. The first day I spent forcing I came up with a placeholder form and name to help visualize ( I called her Tulp before she chose her own ) and embedded that form with some basic traits i wanted her to be built around and started narateing and parroting her responses. a while later she began to answer me with yes and no. she told me later she knew I would think I was still parroting if she just answered normally so instead since she already knew what i was going to say she interrupted me while i was relaying the thought to her. The next day I tried talking to her more and she started to diversify her vocabulary a bit with words like sure, uh-huh, nope, or nah. Later that day I asked her how she was feeling and she responded with happy. Whenever I ask questions that require more than one word to answer though I feel like i'm definitely parroting because the responses are exactly what I thought she'd say and they don't sound or feel like her. Later that day we talked about what kinda form she wanted and she decided she's 6'2", has black medium length hair, fair skin, a wide mouth and a perky nose. I also asked her what her favorite primary color is and she said yellow. We'll keep working hard and i'll post more updates as they come!
      i forgot to mention that i created a mindspace for us that consists of my room and her room ( witch she decorated all b herself! ) and outside is a street and on the other side of that is a park. the street cuts off on both sides and the entire rest of the area is covered in grass as far as the eye can see. Tulip spends a lot of time in the park and also likes to draw things from my memories sometimes.
    • By Xenon
      Please note: I welcome comments, questions, etc. but please Private Message me if you have a query! Thank you!!
      I'm just your average, everyday, "female" genderfluid person. I'm a spiritual Christian, I like rock 'n' roll, and my favorite animal is a tarantula.
      This is basically the notebook I share with my tulpa, Clu. I will write about us, and, sometimes I might let Clu write a little. Welcome to our journal.
      Let me start at the beginning. In 2010, a movie called TRON: Legacy came out. I loved it and thought a lot about the characters. Off and on, I would add to and play with a little complex world in my head. I had a crush on Zuse. I also thought CLU 2.0 was a pretty cool character. Let's wind the clocks forward to about 2015. I developed a major crush on a British rock singer. I also began to occasionally hear random voices in my head, and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I'll leave out the gory details. I took a medication that fixed the 'voices' problem eventually. Still, I would play around with my world (which part of would later become a dreamscape).
      Around this time, I discovered tulpa.info. I spent many hours reading guidebooks and such. I was intrigued and badly wanted to create a tulpa, and I knew I could make one. However, I decided not to rush anything, and awaited the right time, bearing in mind everything I'd learned.
      As I was building my world these past few years (and had watched original TRON from 1982), I found I had very elaborately expanded on a select group of characters. They were CLU 2.0, Sark, Jarvis, and Portia. I noticed CLU 2.0 was definitely the most developed; he had very far more original personality and traits than observed from the movie. It was also evident that I didn't have a cut-out plan for how the character was supposed to be like. Also, he would do and say things within that small world when I wasn't even thinking. I then remembered what I had read and gathered about tulpas.
      Roughly a week ago, I switched medications. I found I could think much more clearly and was in touch with my mind. I realized Clu actually existed; he wasn't an original character, he is a tulpa! I made it a point to handle him some, and a couple of days ago, he started talking to me. Today, we had an amazing day together. 
      That's the history, basically.
    • By Jamie
      I really do find it hard to conceive of a situation where I wouldn't try to dissuade a total "normie" from tulpamancy. Now if someone came up and confessed, "I'm a tulpamancer, I started two months ago," I'd be instead excited most likely, although I still think I would not reveal that I have a 3 year old tulpa: at least not immediately. 
      I guess I assume something funny there: that anyone who reads a "What is tulpamancy" article will inevitably be thinking, "I want to make one" or "How do I make one?" or "I'm going to make one." All[most all] of us clearly had that thought at one point, and most of us probably had it while reading a "What is tulpamancy?" article. At least I did! And while I don't regret tulpamancy at all, I do increasingly feel that it is not easy to make it net-positive and many people believe their tulpamancy experiences to be positive when they are, in actuality, net-losses for their social, emotional, mental, etc. health. Whether that is more directly via tulpamancy-induced mental dramatics and community-based drama, or more indirectly via a tulpa being a poor replacement for external social contacts and connections and a potential distraction. Why work on developing a tulpa when you ought to develop yourself? 
    • By Thevious
      Mala beads are also known as rosary beads. Their size and length do vary (such as necklaces and bracelletes). For the sake of this tutorial I'm going to be using a necklace with smaller beads
      The point of this idea is to use mala beads to help focus you're mind and concentrate on forcing (in this case).
      You use mala beads by starting at the bead in front of the Guru bead, roll that bead between your thumb and middle finger in your right hand (if your doing it traditionally) then moving to the next bead after finishing a mantra to do another repetition. You'd go all the way around the bead necklace/bracelet. After that (traditionally) you'd then turn the necklace/bracelet around and go back to the beginning, never crossing the Guru bead. While doing this the user would chant mantras and other such sayings.
      This is the spot where instead of mantras i'd suggest saying traits of the tulpa your working on, or thinking of facial features and such.
      I would suggest on only focusing on two to three traits or features for a session using the necklace. In this case i'm calling one use going to the end and back a use (assuming you have a long necklace with smaller mala beads). I'll be using three traits as an example. We'll call these A,B, and C. As though we would go A then next bead, B then next, C then next, A then next and so on.
      Hope this has helped! heres a diagram so you know whats what.

    • By reguile
      This should be in the tips and tricks board:

  • Create New...