Recently Browsing 0 members
No registered users viewing this page.
Hi, I am having some trouble with visualization. The thing is, I don't think my visualization is that bad, but I am having a ton of trouble actually focusing on that visualization instead of the back of my eyelids. I am wondering if anyone has a suggestion of what I can do, like I said I don't even think my visualization is bad but I just have a lot of trouble concentrate on it.
ah yeah, i have been wanting to make this thread a while ago, i finally got to it.
some info about us:
Sammy: i'm the host 'n stuff, i'm apart of a large system of seven.
Dr. Wee: shes a tulpa, i consider her my co-host, she was originally a fictive, she currently helps me with my huge system.
Wisp: wisp is a tulpa, and she likes to do origami
katie: katie was originally an NPC in our wonderland before becoming sentient, she used to be interested in witchcraft for a while.
Sunny: sunny is a walk-in, she can be very hostile at times without reason
Izzy: izzy's origin is currently unknown, shes very bubbly and loves to talk.
ENA: ena is a fictive/soulbond from the series "ENA" she stutters a lot, unlike the others in my system, her voices is almost identical to her fictional counterpart.
feel free to ask us anything :)
[Bear] I want to try to describe how we figured we handle dormancy of other headmates to allow someone to front without distractions.
A lot of talk in the community occured regarding "front-stuck" hosts and other interruptions by headmates and my opinion of that is that if you think your other headmate is still there, then the new fronter may interpret reactions and other stray thoughts as theirs when in fact they may very well be a mixture of conditioned responses and intrusive thoughts.
This topic isn't about that in particular, that's just an example connection. This topic is meant to share how someone can think to eliminate the stray thouhts and reactions and disconnect them from other potential fronters.
If this doesn't work for you, that's unfortunate, but it works fine for us and it's based completely on a mindset and simple rules which I'll get into. There's no magic here, just a mode of thinking that has worked for us.
If you have your own process, procedures or insights, please feel free to discuss them.
[Bear] We just had a discussion, Ashley, Joy and I and this is how we think it works:
[Joy] I just don't think of them.
[Bear] Simple. Just do that. In reality it's not enough to go by and I understand that, but it actually is another one of those practice and it will just click sort of things. Here's an example of what we're trying to avoid by putting a headmate in dormancy.
Here we discovered that the BodyOS feels like me. As the main fronter and associated to it most of my life, you can imagine there is good reason to associate it with me. Our point is, the BodyOS is conditioned by me so of course it feels and acts like me even when I'm not there.
[Bear] The first key insight here is that the headmate must actively ignore and block others' thoughts. This will act similarly to how the original would let their headmates slip into dormancy when they're busy or not otherwise thinking of them before they were engrained in everything, in other words, before they were mature.
We separate fronter from BodyOS and accept that some reactions from BodyOS aren't them. If you associate everything not you as any other headmates, you're likely going to keep them awake. Even if it's not them.
[Bear] This is a trick I also use to dismiss egoic or intrusive thoughts. Like yesterday when intrusive thoughts said mean things out of the blue, I simply ignored them. In fact, in our system, it's required to confirm anything negative or derogatory so we don't get extra drama from intrusive thoughts.
So what's the difference between that and "I'm there blending with my headmates"?
The answer is in how you accept the thoughts and whether you let them affect you.
Joy has this down and we learned a lot from her. It helps that she was always a very strong headmate and distinctly different in how she thinks.
Good luck and hopefully, good night.
Stone: Hello all. I’ve been writing down my experiences with Betty for a few days, and I decided I’d post them here, especially since things have gotten interesting pretty quickly for me. Feel free to comment with any advice you may have.
Day 0 - 11/10
As I was lying on the couch, in a position in which I could fall asleep, I decided to force a bit with Betty. I was in a room full of bins and other stuff, but I wanted to place her form in the room, as opposed to my developing wonderland, as I wanted her to be with me in a real location. I decided to put her in the crib, and as she is the size of an adult woman, she looked unamused.
I’m unsure if what I’m about to detail is parroting/puppeting:
I started talking to her. As this was a casual forcing session before bed, I did not write down what we talked about, and I don’t remember what we talked about. However, I remember getting verbal and non-verbal responses. When I asked her questions, sometimes she’d verbally respond before I was finished asking the question, and sometimes she wouldn’t respond at all. She also responded non-verbally with facial expressions. I remember these expressions as being somewhat unnatural but making sense. When I say somewhat unnatural, I mean she used non-verbal expressions more than a human would use, and used them in instances a human would likely not use them. However, these expressions made sense, as they weren’t completely random and did convey some sort of answer to my question. It almost seemed she’d answer with a face because my brain was too lazy to generate a response from her, or couldn’t figure out how.
I hypothesize that giving her a form has given my brain an out when it cannot generate words for her, and I’m hoping this will speed up the process.
This is not the first day interacting with Betty, but I’ve barely talked to her at all before this, and have pretty much only imposed her in my room and puppeted her. I feel like I got a response too early, and I’m worried this may have been parroting/puppetry on my part. I am excited if these were “real” responses though. I’m not sure if there’s much of a difference this early though.
It’s partially a shame this happened, as I want to organize these notes into some sort of study, but after opening with, “Maybe my tulpa answered as soon as I started talking to her,” this likely won’t be taken as seriously. And, that’s valid.
Day 1 - 11/11
Didn’t talk with Betty today.
Day 2 - 11/12
I haven’t done any forcing yet today, as it is 3:40 AM (I was woken up by family).
I was thinking about meditating before each active forcing session, as it clears my mind and I like it, but these stats are making me think twice about that idea.
Still, I tend to get distracted and have trouble jumping into forcing, and I believe short meditation before forcing may help me. Though perhaps meditation, the way I do it, focuses more on plain reality than the world of thought, and will take me out of the world of thought. Perhaps this is why it seems to hinder some people.
I’m thinking if I meditate on my tulpa, and not on my body as I usually do, it may help more than hurt. I plan to not meditate the first week, and to meditate the second week, and see how I feel. People are different, and meditate differently, so I’d like to see how meditation works on me.
I would like to personality force soon, and I would like to use Man’s method along with symbolism. I have a list of personality traits here:
I want her to be a rounded person, but I wonder how ethical it is to purposefully give her negative traits. I suppose I will give her positive and neutral traits, and, those traits will naturally have negative sides. Virtue is the mean of two vices, after all.
30-35 personality traits: (31)
Affectionate - Bun (they hug whatever they surround)
Amusing - Laffy Taffy (hahahahahahahahaha)
Charming - Pringles (the Pringles guy seems like a charming fellow)
Clever - Barbecue Chips on Bun (how does this taste so good!?)
Confident - Kettle Chips (tougher and more sure than regular chips?)
Edgy - Chips and Salsa (chips have edges, and salsa has bite)
Empathetic - Marshmellows (soft empathy)
Esthetic - That’s It Bar (minimalist aesthetic)
Ethical - (ethical alternative)
Extroverted - Fruit Loops (there’s a party in my bowl and everyone is invited)
Familial - Rice Crispies (families commonly make treats out of these)
Friendly - Peach Cup (sweet and good for you)
Healthy - Plain Cheerios (healthier)
High-spirited - Skittles (sugar rush)
Honest - Plain Toast (it is what it is)
Irreligious - Pretzel Rods (secularized pretzels)
Leisurely - Sub (this takes longer to make, but it’s worth it)
Loyal - Saltines (there even when you’re sick)
Maternal - Applesauce (often for babies)
Neat - Mints (keep yourself and your breath clean)
Observant - Fritos (have you noticed these smell like dog feet?)
Outdoorsy - Seaweed (or is it lakeweed, in Michigan?)
Protective - Oyster Crackers (Oysters have a Shell to protect themselves, and you use yours to protect others as well)
Ritualistic - Mobius-strip Bagel (the endless cycle of traditions)
Romantic - Strawberry Lemon Ice (pink!)
Sarcastic - Mint Chocolate Oreos (means one thing (toothpaste) says the other (cookie))
Stylish - Gardetto's (more fancy than Chex Mix)
Spontaneous - Donut (donut think about the calories)
Trendy - Pea Crisps (health food trends)
Vivacious - Strawberry Remune (lively and carbonated)
Witty - Berry Good Lemonade (get it?)
Below are some interactions I recorded. They are not exhaustive:
“How are you?”
“Yeah I’m sure you are. I’m sure you’re not just parroting.”
I feel mean now. Apologize to the nice lady.
I feel a stare.
“God this is so awkward,” I say instead of apologizing. I turn away.
I feel her watching me. I turn to her.
“How are you?”
“Are you listening?”
“What are you doing?”
“Paying attention to what?”
I burst into laughter.
“No that’s alright.”
“Everything’s ‘no that’s alright’ with you. That’s your main thing, isn’t it?”
“Really? What’s your main thing?”
“No. I made you say that.”
“Yes you did.” She smirks.
I laugh. “Yes I did. No really, what’s your main thing?”
“Now you’re just thinking of things with wheels.”
“No. You are.”
“No I’m not.”
“Yes. Think of shopping carts.”
“Ah you got me. Let me write that down.”
Stone: I talked to her a bit today, and I talked to her a little bit about spontaneity with a donut. But, I think I could have explained it more. I will after I sleep, as I’ve been up all night. I got a lot of great responses out of her, and she felt there, but she tended to sound like me. I kept mentioning that, then felt bad for being overly critical of her, as she was doing so well. I also felt bad interrupting her and making her wait so I could write something down.
It’s only been three days and I hate this clinical approach I set up. This “study.” Or maybe I’m embarrassed by how I acted and am taking it out on the format. I don’t know. What I do know is that this process if for her, then for me, then for whoever may end up reading this. I’m not going to interrupt out fun to give us imposter syndrome because I have to analysis every god damn thing she says for some post.
Anyways, today was a positive, and I hope I will feel better with some sleep.
I’m awake now. I’ve devised a schedule for forcing.
Sunday - Active: 2 hours
Monday - Active: 40 minutes
Tuesday - Active: 40 minutes
Wednesday - Active: 40 minutes
Thursday - Active: 40 minutes
Friday - Active: 40 minutes
Saturday - Active: 2 hours
Methods of forcing I’m thinking of using:
101 Things To Talk About With Your Tulpa
Font - Arial, Size - 14