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Vacancy and disappearing.


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Okay, so we have been getting in a lot of trouble lately and it's only me (Poltergeist , co-host ) and Quinn / Slate (Host) here for hours to days at a time. We were wondering if any of you knew what that could mean, or if it's something bad.

Toby - Host - They/Xe/He ( Non-binary / Rosboy ) - 14

Hex - In Development / Tulpae - They/He ( Non-binary / Demiboy / Genderfaun ) - 15 

 

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I'm not sure what you mean by vacancy and disappearing. Do you mean dormancy? Or are certain alters having a hard time being around?

I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I'm undecided on Rosalind or Rosalin, and my male name is Ronan. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

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[ Polt ] :

Dormancy ! Yes ! That's what we meant . All of these terms are hard for us to use properly so please bear with us here ; but yes we mean Dormancy . 

Toby - Host - They/Xe/He ( Non-binary / Rosboy ) - 14

Hex - In Development / Tulpae - They/He ( Non-binary / Demiboy / Genderfaun ) - 15 

 

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(edited)

I'm not an expert on traumatic systems, but I have heard it's normal for an alter to go dormant (disappear, become inaccessible) for several weeks, months, or years. I also heard that it's considered abusive to pull them out of dormancy, but I don't know why or if it's bad information I picked up. With tulpa systems, it's encouraged to wake up your headmates or to try and find them if you want to talk to them.

 

@Jamie may know more about this topic, I don't want to encourage you to do something that may be harmful for your system. At the very least, I'm well aware it's not unheard of.

Edited by Ranger

I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I'm undecided on Rosalind or Rosalin, and my male name is Ronan. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Temporary Log | Switching LogcBox | Yay! | Bre Translator

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I don't have nearly enough information to say if it's good or bad or wut.

 

Re: 

On 4/8/2021 at 10:18 PM, Ranger said:

I also heard that it's considered abusive to pull them out of dormancy, but I don't know why or if it's bad information I picked up

[hidden]

Spoiler

 

I would certainly not say pulling an alter out of dormancy is inherently abusive.

 

The kernel of truth in that is that's it's a big faux pas for someone else to try to force a certain alter in a system to appear without prior consent, something that I would say is akin to trying to force someone to become drunk or take acid, or intentionally scaring someone with PTSD with gunfire or loud noises to see them have a panic attack/flashback. But that being said, don't listen to anyone who goes "Wah you can't criticize me/you must treat me exactly this way OR ELSE you're ABUSING me by forcing xyz alter out!." I'm sure people do that IRL too, but I'm talking mostly about chitchatting  online. If someone has such high demands/specific way they MUST be treated lest they be suddenly and horribly damaged... that's on them for chitchatting online with strangers- they need to leave and shut it off. It's not your job to babysit people and you aren't required to give special treatment. I'm talking about stuff like, "I'm age-regressed, you can't FORCE an older/maturer alter out!" Sure, you can't force the older alter out, but you CAN say, "You have to go until you are in a proper state to chitchat on the internet." 

 

If you aren't doing anything like yelling/screaming, showing gory or overly sexual imagery without warning, you're probably not being abusive in regards to respecting the alter who's in front. It can be slightly mean to say "I dun wanna talk to you I wanna talk to that other alter", and it can also feel unfair or mean if you have to say "You must leave until either you are acting properly or another alter who can act properly is here" but that's far from abusive. Those things are nothing like the examples I gave earlier of forcing someone to take acid or scaring someone with gunfire intentionally. 

 

So the tldr is you probably did get bad info. There are quite a few people who try to make claims like that because they want special treatment and they don't want to act properly while chitchatting online. The red flags are often explicit or implied "OR ELSE"s, like "Everyone else in this channel has to stop talking about that R-rated movie OR ELSE my little parts are going to get scared!" That very well might be true, but it's the personal responsibility of that person to just, well, leave, stop looking at the channel. "You can't criticize me/moderate me OR ELSE my super mean alter will come out and then I won't be responsible if they break rules, it'll be on you!" is another one I see. So "I'm going to be above the rules/you're going to make me act poorly"-type statements are another red flag, and again the real answer there is "Nope! You have to be responsible and act properly and leave if you feel you can't do that at this point in time." 

 

DID is often comorbid with BPD and further, my guesstimation is that like 80%+ of DID online is imitative/mimic DID and the people with imitative DID generally have BPD, other personality and mood disorders instead. I bring it up because those types of red flag behaviors are common in BPD although people absolutely can and do display them without having any mental illness! It's also just, well, immature and something you might see in teens that will "grow out of it" eventually. 

 

When you're trying to deal with the online DID community, you're really trying to deal with mostly lots of unstable teenagers with BPD and other things. Not all BPD, some just... immature. And sometimes it is DID! Don't want to deal in absolutes. It's mostly not tho. 

 

[/hidden]

 

tldr; nah, unless you are doing egregious behaviors that would probably be considered cruel even if alters weren't involved at all (spooking someone with porn, gunfire, yelling, repeated catcalling etc), you're probably not doing anything abusive. It's mostly a technique I see unstable, immature people online do to try to make the rules of "act proper and be responsible for yourself" not apply to them.

 

That all had nothing to do the question asked, which I don't have enough information to give an answer to.

 

Edited by Jamie

The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. 

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