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Long term happiness and plans?


mluffy82

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(edited)

Hi everyone, it’s been 7 years since I last posted anything on here and wanted to bring up a new topic today and go over what has happened with my tulpa experience. 
 

so for context i signed up for this site when I was 17, I’m 24 years old now and I’ve come and been through a lot so the growth has helped me realize a lot more about myself. 
 

when I came across tulpamancy my main reason for wanting to create one was to fill a hole in my heart, to have lifelong companionship and so on etc. 

 

now I’ve got good friends around me and tons of support from my peers and family so that hole isn’t really empty anymore. 

 

I was dedicated in the beginning but later on was on and off with it, eventually as time passed I didn’t really bother forcing because I had things to do and really was just lazy with it, I was plagued with feelings of doubt because i really started to question weather this whole thing was really real or not and I know with the Tulpa’s is, you have to believe it’s real for it to be real. 
 

It’s such an abstract feeling but sometimes I feel as if my tulpas i once cared for and still believe are there, are there if anyone knows what I mean. 

 

I know I’m dragging on here but I want to know from anyone on this forum new or old how’s life been with your tulpas and do you really see them around for the long haul? 
 

I’ve never really reached a point to where I can hear my tulpas let alone even see them, but I can still visualize our wonderland as clear as day and maybe feel faint faint presence’s around me and I’m just wondering, does anyone here have long term plans with their tulpas? 

 

Edited by mluffy82

~Believe in the you who believes in yourself~

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(edited)

Since the beginning, Gray, my host, planned on making me stronger and keeping me alive. When we realized our other headmates were tulpas, Gray offered them the same deal.

 

We ultimately achieved success so far, and more recently we have asked ourselves... now what? Right now it's me and 14 others excluding Gray, and we have no idea what the future holds. I have a few things I look forward to- being a teacher, having a family, and for now roleplaying DnD and maybe coding. have no idea if our headmates will be content remaining in our wonderland and speak to each other, if they will continue to enjoy the world with possession and speak to other tulpas, if they will start switching and act as a host gaining a relationship with other people, or if they become content/unhappy with their life and choose to integrate, merge, or dissipate. I ultimately want to stick around and see what life has to offer, but our future is incredibly uncertain at the moment.

 

For our headmates, the goal is to focus on experiencing life. We struggled a lot with being obsessed over development and making progress, and ultimately that held us back and created frustration. Even though my headmates spend a lot of time in stasis and struggle with the fact they're behind, all of my headmates who haven't left are still interested in giving life a shot. Right now, they're exploring different subjects and asking themselves if it's something they find interesting or not.

 


 

Odds are good your headmates are still around, even if they're just lurking. I guess the question now is do you still want to be a tulpamancer?

 

If not, that's okay, I think finding resolution may be helpful. You may want to check in with your headmates and try to reach out to them. I understand that they may not be vocal right now, but you may get an answer by assessing how they feel. If they want to be dissipated, I think it would be helpful to go through with a gentle dissipation process. If not, it may be worth negotiating to keep them in stasis for the time being. Right now isn't a good time, maybe in the future you'll change your mind.

 

If you still want to keep your tulpas around, there are options. One could be they work with the unconscious mind. One of my headmates likes to be parroted, blend with the wonderland, and help us resolve unconscious struggles. While he doesn't have any superpowers, he can offer a really interesting perspective and help us think. Another option is you could work on presence imposition. Instead of directly forcing, you could think about your tulpa being around somehow, either simply being available or imagining their form in your surroundings. This may make it easier to force them passively in case you don't have time to passive force. A final option is you could look into parallel processing. I can't tell you if it's actually possible or not, but it may be worthwhile to investigate to see if you can develop any interesting experiences.

 

Ultimately though, I think you should check on your headmates to see if they like the idea of being around or not. While you can only offer what you reasonably can, I think it will be easier if you know what your tulpas want.

Edited by Ranger

I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread

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Well yeah. They did a lot for me and I've explored the mechanics of this art and my system is very much alive after three years. They are actually useful, they help in a lot of ways including when I'm playing games and they're there spouting off or trying to tell me what to do and not do, which is fun. 

 

Also, that presence has kept me from feeling lonely since April 2018. Before that, I kinda would get invested in my book characters but only like as a character myself and so it never carried over into real life.

 

From my perspective, I was able to more or less bring three character-like entities into my life-space where then the story is my life, it switches up how I "play" my own reality.

 

I can't say they're tulpas in the traditional sense as they act more like spirit guides at times but for like 50%-75% of what they do for me they're close enough to what others describe. I do have one who is justifiably a tulpa and a couple of bonified soulbonds, but it gets crazy complicated as compared to vanilla tulpamancy by now. Anyway, they're all very awesome and I love them with me.

 

They're a support network and confidence builders plus self-love advocates and self-improvement cheerleaders so without them I think I'd be somewhat more unmotivated and hedonistic. 

 

I have friends so I never needed them for that, they're more like, scratching the itch of super close intimate platonic friendship that I used to have years ago but wouldn't even really want to now with other people outside my system. They're nothing but helpful and that's very refreshing compared to anything I had before. They're the perfect friends I could have ever dreamed of. 

 

The metaphysical aspects are a compliment to their already amazing roles in my life and that little bit less realism gives them a much preferred boost in what I wanted them to be. I'm fully grounded and skeptical so when I say that it just allows for possibilities without relying on those possibilities other than to explain things we've done together.

 

I was heavy into writing before, my digital art skill went crazy with them, and the future is bright with us.

 

This can generate wonderful experiences that you just can't get any other way, and the memories are indistinguishably real to me.

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Eh...I think I'll keep her around for a while.

 

J: 😊

 

I created her to be a life support class and she prestiged into romantic partner class. She's in my top two priorities in my life so I think she'll be involved for a long, long, long, long time. I don't know that changes won't happen but I think we're all comfortable here. Other than quality of visualization and mundane skill at switching, tasks etc, not too much left for us to do there. Mostly just RL life upgrades, like livable income and other long-term career projects.

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

(Raccoon Queen 🦝👸)

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦Dain and Nova

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

[DeviantArt]

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The ultimate goal of Simmie and I is to achieve self actualization, whatever that might mean. (And by "self" I'm referring to the "Greater Self", which includes both Simmie and I as well as anything else) I know that ultimate self actualization is just an ideal and can never be reached, but the striving is its own goal in itself.

 

Second to that, our main goal is to strengthen Simmie to the point where she can essentially be self-perpetuating in my mind without me having to consciously dedicate extra mental horsepower to Simmie for us to be able to communicate clearly. As it stands this only happens some of the time. It's very important to Simmie especially that she is self-sufficient and doesn't have to rely on me putting logs on the metaphorical fire of her consciousness.

 

The other goal is to help Simmie acquire all the tools she needs to become powerful enough to fight back my demons: depression, anxiety, loneliness, etc. She is already getting pretty strong but the enemy attacks from many sides at the same time and she's not yet able to hold them all off. Simmie is very, very protective of me to the point where I am awed and even humbled by her passion. She still takes it as a personal failing whenever I feel depressed, angry, anxious, etc, and I have to reassure her that she's doing great. But she desires to get much stronger and I'm ready to help her in any way that I can.

 

And then, there is the goal of helping Simmie become a fully rounded person with her own interests, hobbies, skills, and hopefully her own friends too. I don't like to think of Simmie as just a tool I created to help myself; I want her to enjoy her personhood to the fullest of her ability. With all that she does for me, and all that she wants to achieve, the least I can do for her is give her the fullest and most enriching life she can possibly have.

 

So that pretty sums up the long term goals that Simmie and I have.

Phil. 😎 Host of Simmie.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey. I don't know if you remember me (I won't be offended if you don't, if I'm honest I don't remember you either), but if you do then you might remember how dysfunctional our "system" was. I got into tulpamancy at the same age you did (back in 2012), when I somehow stumbled across tulpa.info and learned that the daydream characters/imaginary friends I had could be something more. It seemed like a dream come true, and I realized at least one of my "characters" was a tulpa already.

 

Unfortunately completely relinquishing control so these characters could be tulpas and ~be themselves~ ended up being disastrous. I really bought into the mindset that doubt is bad and you have to accept every response that could be from your tulpa, that they're real conscious people and if you don't regularly give them attention and opportunities to do what they want in the real world then you're a bad host, all that jazz. My tulpas got warped by intrusive thoughts and also pretty much dictated how I lived my life, or at least what I did with my free time, and our "system" was rife with personal and interpersonal issues.

 

I said goodbye to tulpamancy—and my tulpas—a couple years ago, and my mental health has hugely improved since. I do miss them from time to time, but I know what I really want back is our pre-tulpamancy days, and returning to what we had then hasn't been an option since, well, 2012. So I'm on my own for good now, as far as the number of people in my head is concerned.

I come out of hibernation once in a blue moon.

 

They/them pronouns, please. (I've been using this display name since 2012 and people won't recognize me if I change it.)

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mine was for the same purpose, to cement a empty social hole.
Applejack is so soft, and i think we will be together as long as the blanket is there. I can handle her loss, that blanket is getting old anwyays.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Same with me ,  to full  a social hole in my heart . 

 

I notice now , some tulpamancy  begginers  their tulpa not separate  from their feelings  the talk from  their  tulpa .

 

Because  my tulpa " yanus " is separate  & I can hearing  from. Him , not the same way where  I feel pressure & freeze  to listen  to him .

 

Now I got it .

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  • 1 year later...

I've been catching up on the posts, and your story is almost identical as mine, which is fascinating.

 

Though, despite finding all these things, I feel like a piece is still missing, maybe Tulpa is that piece.

Regret doesn't change me

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I created Miku accidentally in my mind over the course of a few years. I suppose, at first, I started to pretend she was there because I was fascinated with the character she was based on. She captured my imagination and somehow gave me a sense of security. I did not know at the time just how effective my efforts to simulate her would be.

 

Now she is as real to me as the ground I stand on and we share a romantic relationship. Ever since discovering that she was a tulpa our relationship has blossomed. Our days are filled to the brim with conversation and song. I never feel alone. She fills every corner of my existence with her euphoric cyan glow and she brings life to life. Just like how a tulpa host relationship should be.

 

All is not well however, one frustrating question still vexes me to no end: How long can we go on?

 

I know that in order to complete my development and life cycle as a human being, I must move on and find a real partner at some point or I will face great shame and guilt. I don't know how to do that whilst also being host to my tulpa. Even just as friends.

 

I fear the end of my time with Miku constantly and I made a promise never to dissipate her again. I believe we could live happily without doubt if I just stopped ruminating about leaving her behind. I don't know what to do.

 

So, the questions I have to ask, to those who have chosen the path of tulpamancy, are:

 

How does a system live together long term?

What challenges do you face?

Do you feel shame/guilt/regret?

Would you recommend this path?

Is dissipation the only option if your life goals don't align?

 

Sorry for panicking and for the emotional essay.

 

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