Jump to content

I just had the strangest dream that kind of upset me, help please (I may have accidentally offended my tulpa)?


Recommended Posts

(edited)

So I've been into tulpas for a couple of weeks now, and focusing on my tulpa who is a fictional character (Warden of Superjail). I originally posted this on the r/tulpas Reddit sub, and found out there is a forum, as well. So, I shall post here, too. 

 

Last night, I had this really weird dream. Usually, my dreams make no logical sense, so this one seemed different. It was in the evening, and he was in my back yard. There were other people (who didn't look familiar) there lining up to get an autograph and also to just chat with him. He wasn't dressed in his usual clothes and looked way more casual but I could tell it was him. He seemed a lot more calm and reserved compared to how he behaves in his source material. He had some kind of paper and a pen where he was taking notes. He wasn't wearing his suit or his hat, or any hat at all. He was wearing this black and white cardigan with diamond patterns on it, and brown trousers. 

 

Anyway, I noticed that he kept talking to everyone else, but not to me. Some discussion about sexualities came up, and when I said that I'm aromantic asexual (which I am), he looked at me really weird, frowning and kind of pouting his lips, before turning away, and then started talking to everyone else and kind of blanked me. Then when he started leaving I tried to follow him but he kind of started to run anyway and seemed to be in a grumpy mood. Then I woke up.

 

Just wondering people's thoughts/advice.. it made me feel kind of bad. I view him as like a friend and not a partner, and I wasn't expecting his response to be offended over my answer.

Edited by tophatguy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Unless it was a lucid dream you brought your tulpa into, I don't think there is any reason to believe the dream version of him was really him. Dream characters do crazy things. You should probably just forget about it! (My host recently had a dream where I convinced him to help me rob a museum. That doesn't mean I'm actually going to do that. 😂)
 

You've probably heard about intrusive thoughts, and that you shouldn't attribute them to your tulpa. I think this is the exact same thing. You don't have to assume it was him: that would be like personality forcing him to have a problem with you.

Host: Wray (or John) (he, him)
Tulpa: Shizuku (she, her) 🐺

We now have a progress report!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wouldn't fixate on it much. For me I've definitely had some early experiences in dreams which were my tulpa and they confirmed as much after they were vocal.

 

That being said I would advise to put it out of your mind and continue to force. There's no way you can verify anything at the moment until they're vocal. When they are, then ask them if it was them. It's also important to mention about dreams is that you and them are both going to be running on some pretty low-power logic. If they were weird in a dream it's entirely possible they did not mean to be - they may have just been acting in accordance with their role in the dream that your unconscious mind generated rather than anything to do with their own desires and not really thinking to question it.

Zen - Host.

Mika - Tulpa. The eldest, and a homegrown tupper made with tulpamancy.

Rhys - Tulpa. Initially a Literary Thoughtform of my own creation.

Asterion - Tulpa. Literary, I suppose? Mythological egregore, maybe? He's The Minotaur.

If text is uncoloured, presume Zen is talking. We go by he/him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have always been fascinated by dreams. Dreams can be a starting point for conversations, they can be therapeutic, and they provide you with a great deal of insight into you, and others. I would say there is some danger in interpreting dreams literally. Most the time, like 90 percent of the time, everything in the dream is a metaphor. Our subconscious minds, our right hemispheres, speaks in memes, in archetypes. I am somewhat knowledgeable about archetypes, partly because of profession, mostly due to reading interests. There are some patterns that recur so frequently they have domain names. 'the hero's journey.' That said, there is no universal dream symbol guide. Symbol vary per culture, and per individual. So, for example, if you're afraid of snakes, seeing a snake might be fearful. In India, some of the monks believe if you counter a Cobra while meditating in a cave, you met God, so they would interpret a dream snake differently. If you like snakes, you will likely interpret dream snake differently than someone afraid of snakes. I know person who had pet snakes, and in the dream all her snakes were biting her. When we unpacked her family, and she felt more than one had betrayed her, well- reflecting back to her, 'and your pet snakes are biting you...' The correlation made her weep.

 

I would not tell you to forget your dream. I would have you explore it. Not to the point you get stuck, or can't get around something. If you have disturbing dream, or a frightful dream, your unconscious mind was communicating something to you in a way that would increase the likelihood of you remembering it enough so that you could unpack it consciously. You have written it down here. That's a great step towards remembering dreams. I would encourage you to write down as much detail as you can recall in a journal, and walk away from it for a while, and then revisit it periodically and see if you have new insight. Have you ever been speaking and forgot a word, and the harder you try the more it escapes you, only to find three days later the word is suddenly in your mind? There is magic in thinking on something intensely and then walking it away from it. It feels like magic, but I assure you, think on something intently and then forget it about, your brain is still working that problem and it will give you something. Sometimes even something helpful.

 

I am going to speculate. In person, if we were talking, I would ask a million question and listen to how the conversation evolves, and in that process we would hopefully discover meaning. We're not talking, and so this dynamic here doesn't work that process as well. I doubt seriously this dream is that your tulpa is unhappy with you or the world. I would also not worry about the others in your dreams. Our unconscious minds are full of others. Some based on real people in our lives, some based on people we know about, and then there are some assumed others. To explained that last one, let's say you are walking and you step on gum and it sticks to your shoe. You might cuss and ask how someone can be so careless... You brain will give you a 'person' to fill that question. We are so lucky that we all don't have a million tulpas interacting with us daily. LOL. Umm, wondering in the moment, maybe tulpa making is that easy, but we are trained early on in tulpa suppression. OMG, I want to think about that more. I love your dream question even more now! I mean, think about how many people respond automatically, as opposed to real time information. That's a real thing that has to be sorted in therapeutic modalities. It's called transference. In reality, almost all interaction is transference. Even your reflections of the dream is your transferring meaning to it that may be unwarranted, from a conscious mental operational perspective, because the dream was acting more on unconscious data which is a wider spectrum of material. 

 

'Evening' is a dream character. 'Backyard' is a dream character. Every element in the dream is a character. Some dream experts will say everything in the dream was you. I usually don't sit with that, but there is validity to it, and can be useful to jump to each 'character's' perspective and unpack it, "if I were an actor playing this character, what insight do I bring...? what does my role and script unlock?"

 

The aromantic/asexual aspect is interesting. When I read that piece of it, I am really drawn into your story. I am super interested in what that is like for you. I can imagine some things, but seriously- I have no clue what life is like when surrounded by people that tend to be sexual/romantic, and they project their 'expectations' on you. (Transference can be fun to unpack. It can be a nightmare to unpack. WE ALL come with biases.) You just want to be platonic mates with your tulpa. Perfectly reasonable boundary. Can tulpa be sexual? Can a person who is sexual be friends with an asexual person? Sure. Just ask my ex. HAHA. Kidding. Not picking on you. If we assume brain is a personality simulator, you're going to have sexual characters in your brain. You need them in your brain to anticipate the normative reactions of other people you will encounter in your life. You need to be able to predict what people will say or do, and one thing our dreams help us with is modeling and problem solving, and maybe this explains the dream. You're in a world of strangers being themselves, or in your words, just being casual, not wearing their 'normative' outfits and not going by scripts. Their masks are off! What a wonderful place this backyard is. Still, you kind of feel out of place. (Assumption on my part. Again, we're not having a real time dialogue so please forgive any speculative discourse that does not align in this attempt to respond.) I suspect, in a room full of strangers where your intent is to befriend someone, one of the biggest artifacts about you is what might make you standout as different, and most people can't relate and so their first response may be skepticism or uncertainty, and they back off and stay conversing with folks that are little more similar. When people don't have a script, they tend to back off. We all have scripts, even in our backyard, casual conversations. We communicate with memes and archetypes. 

 

I don't know what else to say. This is your dream. Cherish your dreams. Especially cherish the uncomfortable dreams. Consider this, you will learn more from your losses than you will your wins. You will learn more from those who challenge you and disagree with you than you will people that simply kiss your ass. In fact, you should be weary about people who kiss your ass, cause they're manipulating their way towards something. This dream is uncomfortable. It feels real in that sense. What's it like to be uncomfortable? What is the take away from this that might benefit you? Unpack it from this way, and you may find when your tulpa is really present these will be the conversations that stand out as the most real. The most significant insight my tulpa brought me was in discord, cause guess what, I am not always right and a friend's job is to point that stuff out.

 

I wish you both well on your journeys.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First question, have you asked him about this? I've had dreams about my tulpas which they had no recollection of after waking up, and I've had many dreams where I myself have acted very out of character. So I would mention the dream to your tulpa. Maybe you were just dreaming about him and he wasn't really there. Or maybe he was and thinks it was totally bizarre.

I come out of hibernation once in a blue moon.

 

They/them pronouns, please. (I've been using this display name since 2012 and people won't recognize me if I change it.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Stone: Dreams can be weird. I just had a horrible dream where I got in a fight with my best friend over something that would never happen in real life. Dream versions of people I know are always off so I wouldn't read too much into it dream versions of tulpas. Also, sort of on the same topic, if you're someone who has intrusive thoughts, I wouldn't read too much into those either, or attribute them to tulpas.

Someday

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...