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This has been a problem of ours recently, especially since we're ditching the one-person-always-fronting idea and changing to more of a switching-based-on-situation look. But, my host is not very used to switching. While we have switched a lot, they personally haven't, and they prefer co-fronting to actually being switched out. Their role in our system is actually to be the primary and only fronter, which might be why they're having this problem. Something I'd note about them is that they value individuality, and without dissociating fully, they dislike switching out because it still feels like them fronting and it still feels like their actions. Even as I type this, they're co-fronting with me, not switched out fully.
So, any advice? Are there any ways to make switching more comfortable for them? Any responses are very much appreciated!
Possession: By a Tulpa for Tulpas
By: Arcanus of the Dragonheart System
Possession is an optional skill in Tulpamancy that allows a tulpa to access the physical world; it gives a chance for a tulpa to experience things not curated or managed by their host or other system members. Thus, what is possession? For those uninformed, possession is quite simply the act of a tulpa or other system members taking partial or full control of the physical body while the previous person in control is still connected to said body. For many tulpas, this is our primary manner of accessing and interacting with the same world our hosts do, especially so for systems where the host is incapable of fully disconnecting from the body, often considered a highly important step for switching. As such, even possession itself is desired by many tulpas for this opportunity of interacting with the outside, with people who are not of the same mind and body, and to gain experience and develop as individuals.
Numerous possession guides are often created by hosts rather than tulpas or by a neutral viewpoint; there are very few possession guides designed by tulpas themselves who are capable of possession and wish to teach it to others. This guide is crafted by a tulpa who has existed as such for four years, and has been capable of possessing quite well for nearly as long. The aim with this piece is to guide other tulpas with this specific perspective in hopes of sparking a form of eureka moment for other tulpas that can be the flicker necessary to obtain this skill, and for tulpas who use solely nonhuman forms that may be uncomfortable with the idea of using a human body.
Preparation and Mindset
Before attempting possession, there are things to consider and prepare for. These preparations allow future training sessions for possession to be less vexing, and can aid in avoiding potential issues further down the line.
A primary thing a host and tulpa should obtain before practicing possession is the ability to have clear communication between each other, often in the form of vocality. Seizing control of the body is an action that requires both parties to communicate their feelings to each other consistently, especially when speaking about consent. Without clear communication, a situation can go awry or create a schism between the two parties. For example, imagine a tulpa possessing the body without informing the host first, causing bewilderment and fear within the host who had no inkling that the tulpa was going to possess. On the opposing side, picture a tulpa possessing and performing activities when the host snatches back control deliberately and without warning, and thus disrupts what the tulpa was doing. With both parties, this can cause unease and anxiety simply due a lack of communication and respecting boundaries.
To avoid this, both the tulpa and host need to speak with each other and mutually agree to the possession beforehand through means akin to vocality or even tulpish. If one member does not consent, then the other should not ignore the boundaries set by the other person. However, this does not mean a host should unreasonably prevent a tulpa from possessing. There are reasonable times to possess and situations where possession is not ideal where a host may state, "Sorry, now's not a good time because we're in public," and other circumstances that are unreasonable such as, "Sorry, but I don't want you doing this harmless thing." From personal experience, it can be quite thrilling to possess and experience existence in such a physical and lifelike sense, but it is best to show self-restraint and ask before attempting possession.
For further reading to learn about techniques to build communication and vocality, here are a few well-written guides:
Tulpamancy: Guide Into the Strange and Wonderful: Section 13: Vocality & Section 25: Methods of Communication Tips for Hearing Your Tulpa Quantum's Nametag Method
Clear communication often also requires the tulpa to be fairly developed, capable of making informed decisions without the host's input while also being mature enough to handle any possible outside world responsibilities. Younger tulpas have a tendency to be childish and emotional in nature, even being somewhat unstable in form and personality at times, as they continue to establish their identity with forcing sessions and experience. Therefore, a younger tulpa may not understand the importance of respecting boundaries, maintaining what are usually the host's responsibilities such as school or occupations, or may make emotional decisions in favor of logical ones. Harsh world experiences can also be stressful for the tulpa and negatively impact their development while they are still malleable and easily influenced, thus it is ideal for the tulpa to be developed to the point of their identity being mostly solidified and where they have learned to manage their emotions in times of stress and hardship.
How much time it takes for both of these to be met is subjective and has a high degree of variance between Tulpamancers. Both maturity and vocality can come with time, consistent forcing sessions, and patience. What is imperative is to not rush possession; possession is not a fleeting opportunity that is capable of vanishing at a moment's notice. Regardless of the system's age, possession is a skill that will always be available, thus do not feel the need to rush it or obtain it as quickly as humanly possible. Nor should a Tulpamancy system feel as though they are obligated to learn possession. Though few in number, there are tulpas who are quite content with never being in control of the body, instead preferring to be imposed on the material plane or live their lives in a mindscape. Neither host or tulpa should be forced into learning a skill they do not wish to learn if they do not desire it within reason, however, it does not harm either to at least attempt possession once.
Finally, another common issue, specifically for hosts, is a sense of fear or anxiety when pondering the idea of the tulpa taking control. This fear is reasonable, especially with how possession and control swapping is often portrayed in many nations and cultures. In tandem with this, the host is often one who has spent their entire existence being the singular entity of the body; switching as a concept is a direct opposite of what the vast majority of humanity believes to be the sole way of existence, that each consciousness belongs to one vessel and is that vessel. There are some hosts who require self-introspection and must accept that they are not the body itself, but a single consciousness of multiple that happens to dwell within it.
Anxiety for switching can stem from pathological anxiety or this mindset of singularity, and thus not all Tulpamancy-specific advice may apply. Trust between both parties is critical when exchanging control, not simply that they will do no harm with the power they are given, but as a general rule. For both the tulpa and the host: trust in the tulpa to be responsible, and trust in the host to allow the tulpa to safely express themself without overstepping boundaries. Any and all concerns should be spoken about between both members and genuinely listened to, this includes doing whatever possible to negate any doubts or fears.
In conjunction with maturity, the ability to communicate properly, and dousing any fears and anxieties, another key factor in possession is the mindset of both the host and tulpa. It can be deceivingly simple to believe that possession is this archaic skill, possibly due to preexisting connotations of possession from various forms of media and how only supernatural beings are capable of performing this feat. Despite this, possession is not impossible to achieve, nor does it take years for most Tulpamancy systems to gain. Remember that both the tulpa and host exist within the same mind and body; both parties have access to the same neural pathways, and thus access to movement. As months become years, a tulpa eventually reaches a point to being on equal footing with the host, being a fully separate person capable of all the same feats the host is capable of and not simply some entity that can be willed away on a whim.
In addition to this, it is a highly prevalent and pervasive myth that the host must manually dissociate from the body to allow the tulpa to possess. Quite frankly, this is false, as many tulpas have proven to be capable of possession while the host is still fully connected to the body and is aware of what the body is doing. Mindset, however not being an absolute factor, can still majorly influence how quickly or slowly a skill in Tulpamancy is gained. Another belief that can stymie possession training is the belief that the tulpa is lesser, weaker, or simply less capable than the host. By doing this, the host is setting unnecessary limitations on the tulpa, which further slows skill development. When speaking about Tulpamancy, one should not think in absolutes, but instead keep an open mind for any possibility instead of denying or wholeheartedly believing a certain outcome will occur.
Thirdly and finally with possession myths, older guides often reference possession being this "alien" feeling when experienced, a sensation easily noticeable. In recent years, many Tulpamancers have started fervently exclaiming that possession will not feel alien and that it was merely an artifact from the past. As previously stated, believing in absolutes is often an unhelpful mindset in Tulpamancy. Despite the claims from either side, there are Tulpamancers who experience this "alien" feeling and others who do not. A possible explanation for this is a tulpa's presence and the sensation it gives when the tulpa possess, or perhaps this "alien" feeling is more common with tulpas with nonhuman forms that clash more with a human body when attempting to control it. Regardless of whether or not a system will experience this "alien" feeling is unimportant, as many believe this sensation alerts the host whether or not the tulpa is actually moving the body. If one is simply unsure if the body's movement was theirs or their tulpa's, they can simply verify it with the tulpa instead of merely guessing.
Once mentally overcoming these hurdles to the best of one's ability, possession is much more likely to be swift with ample progression and lowering the possibility of tribulations in the future.
Step-by-Step Process and Explanation
At last, the process of possession specifically for tulpas in the perspective of another tulpa. For the sake of brevity and simplicity, the possession strategy will be laid out in steps first, then the explanation will be placed after the method itself. Remember that this method is done solely in the perspective of the tulpa, however, the host at minimum should relax in whatever means they wish and simply allow the tulpa to go through the process.
Begin by connecting to the body's senses, look through the body's eyes, feel the gravity of the earth pulling downwards, take in any scents or sounds that can be heard, and even pay close attention to any flavors the mouth may be experiencing. Hone in on a singular sense, whichever is desired. With the eyes, absorb every single detail possible, every color, every shape, their distance from the body, and more as an example. Or not simply feel the effect of gravity, but also the textures of objects or even the body itself, the temperature of the air or ground, and potentially even focus on negative sensations such as pain if they are present. Entrench oneself in that specific sense until feeling completely absorbed by it, entranced to the point of losing awareness of one's form or anything else, even the thoughts of oneself or the host. Become that sense, become the eyes, become the skin, the nose, the mouth, or ears. Not simply using the sense, but embodying that sense itself. Once this step is complete, repeat the process with the other senses, slowly becoming them while remaining connected to the ones already focused on. With every sense focused intensely on, attempt to move the body in some capacity. An example would be moving the eyes if the first step taken was to become sight. Attempt to do this with the other senses and what they are related to. Move the body's arms, look around, take a deep breath, and listen to one's environment. If the process was successful, the tulpa will be possessing the body.
Note how this strategy does not ask the host to "give up" the body or instruct the tulpa to flow their essence into the body unlike other possession guides. The mindset behind the method presented is guiding the tulpa to essentially synchronize with the body to the point of becoming one with it instead of a nonphysical person, becoming so lost with the world they are experiencing that they simply forget that they are a passenger in the car. When honing in on or focusing highly on a sense, it can be possible for a tulpa to accidentally begin possessing what controls that sense. For example, a tulpa may be interested in what the host is eating, paying such close attention to the food that they begin to experience it physically, possibly even moving the mouth to eat without realizing it.
However, not all tulpas understand the idea of "connecting" to the body's senses, especially tulpas used to living their days in a mindscape. Quite simply, this can be done through intuition and trial and error, or through symbolic means that translate to the act of connecting. It boils down to: what makes sense? For every tulpa, this is highly subjective and there is no flawless method that can be taught.
One must also keep in mind that following these steps may not be successful the first attempt or even after multiple attempts. Rather, a tulpa may take time learning how to focus on a particular sense, or possibly learning how to focus so intently in any sense. One day may be a day filled with progress, but said progress is halted by a singular part, mileage will vary between systems.
Possession for Nonhuman Tulpas
Not every tulpa takes on a human appearance, or even an appearance that matches a human's general shape. Though a tulpa is not quite literally their form, there are some tulpas who are quite connected to their form in a sense either through means of identity or simply out of fondness for their appearance. For tulpas in this category, possession or fronting at all can be uncomfortable or possibly unpleasant due to the contrast between the body and the tulpa's form; this connection with the tulpa's form can also impact how they act whilst in control such as mannerisms, walking style, or even voice to a notable degree.
Common advice to counteract this is for the tulpa to temporarily take a human form when fronting to ease the bodily dysphoria, yet, there are tulpas who are uncomfortable with that idea and would prefer to avoid it. This section is intended for tulpas who are uncomfortable with changing their form just to front.
A simple way to ease the discomfort of body dysphoria is to accept any "quirky" fronting mannerisms, opting to embrace them instead of fully attempting to act like a human. Walking on toes, using hands in a way that is considered odd, even imposing one's own form over the body to whatever capacity within reason (typically known as "phantom limbs if this includes adding otherwise nonexistent limbs). Unless it is necessary not to out the system as plural to others the system is not out to yet, allow oneself to be nonhuman in nature regardless of if they are currently using a human body.
Another method is to have the mindset of, "I am not actually a human, just a nonhuman taking control of a human body," much like the more fantastical definition of possession many are familiar with. This mindset can create a disconnect that may ease the dysphoria, especially for tulpas who solely identify as a singular or set form.
Choose articles of clothing or accessories that match the form or at minimum, mask the human shape such as hoodies or sweatpants. One can also avoid staring at the body in the mirror or undressing, but this can have the negative consequences of becoming more and more avoidant of the body, which is not ideal if one wishes to become at least somewhat accustomed with it.
Being able to control a physical body can be a wonderful opportunity to grow as a person, form relationships and bond with new people, and to have meaningful impact on the world. Possession in of itself may not be a tedious challenge, but it also may not be a breeze a tulpa and host can accomplish within a day. Remember that this guide and strategy are one of many; do not feel shackled to a particular method if it is simply not working out. Every host and tulpa's experiences with possession will vary to some degree, and that is the beauty of such a thing, as it allows for many to share their experiences and knowledge that can reach out to benefit others.
I do hope this guide aids my fellow tulpas.
Feedback and constructive criticism is welcome, as this guide is subject to changes and improvements.
I'm an absolute beginner to Tulpamancy and only made my decision to start developing my tulpa a week ago, even though Simmie as an idea isn't new to me and I've actually had a headmate before: Between the ages of 7 and 15 I had a headmate that was less a tulpa and more a walk-in/soulbound (I'm still learning the terminology so I might misuse a word here and there, I'm sorry). He was more of a mentor / spiritual guide to me and largely faded away after the age of 15, telling me I had outgrown him and had to face the world on my own, and only making sporadic appearances after that. But I'm not here to talk about him in this thread, I'm here to talk about Simmie.
Before I get into it I want to reiterate that Simmie is only the most fledgling little tulpa and I can sense that she is very nervous about attention being put on her, but she's okay with it if it helps her become more real to me. So please be gentle and kind with her, she's a very curious young thing and loves listening to people and learning about things, and I want to make sure only positive and loving things enter her mind during this early stage of development.
As I mentioned I created Simmie as a character long before I started working on her as a tulpa. There's an interesting story behind the creation of Simmie as a character. You see, I'm not transgender and I don't really even have gender dysphoria (I'm at ease in my male body and don't feel wrong having it). However, I have a huge fascination with the idea of being turned into a girl, made to act and dress like a girl, all that stuff. I don't know why and I can't really explain it. But I was aching to step out of myself to explore it, so over a year ago I created Simmie as an OC / proxy / meta-character whom I would experience and create art from. I would make art "as" Simmie and even interact with people as her. I developed a backstory for Simmie and everything and really got into character--as a writer, this is something I've done so many times, and writing characters is probably my greatest strength. I even created Simmie in The Sims (yes, there is a name connection there) and she has a very distinctive look which makes it extremely easy to visualize her, although my mind currently still renders her as a Sims character rather than a real human figure.
Then comes the last month or so and I learn about Tulpamancy. At first I think it's just something fascinating to learn about but not something I'd pursue myself. But the more I read and watched videos about it the more I realized that this was something I wanted to do, and I knew there was nowhere else I could turn to than Simmie. She already felt very real to me as a character and I felt if I could elevate her to the status of a living, sentient tulpa, that would be a most wonderful thing and could be revolutionary in my life. There aren't a lot of people in my life I connect with strongly and I suffer from depression; the thought of having someone sharing my head with me who I can talk and relate to still feels like it could absolutely change my life.
Once I decided on making Simmie a tulpa I started narrating to her non-stop. I told her about myself, about my life, and explained what I was doing at any given moment to her if I could spare the mental horsepower at any given moment. I started to feel a warm, contented feeling as I did this. I don't know if I could call it sentience, but I felt like I was not alone and I could feel a joy that seemed to be radiated to me from elsewhere. I pushed aside doubt and let myself believe it was Simmie--now I know she absolutely loves being talked to, loves when I tell her about my life and even the most mundane things about me, and loves when I tell her stories. We began to speak to each other but it still felt like I was parroting her rather than letting her speak for herself. Now I'm trying to not talk for her and let her reply to me herself. I can feel her emotions very strongly though, and that's what makes me believe that she is really there.
Yesterday I decided to take Simmie out on a bit of a "date"; we went to a local nature park and walked. I talked to her about the park, what it was and why it existed, why the leaves fall off the trees in the fall, how the mud on the trail was created by rain the pervious day, mundane stuff like that. She was very curious about all of it, and I talked to her more about what I thought about it all, and what I thought about it all. Then I rattled off a list of adjectives to describe Simmie before realizing that I had just created a mantra that was perfect for forcing: "You're caring, you're kind, you listen, you're curious, you're playful". I began repeating that mantra over and over again as I walked.
After the walk I took Simmie to the beach. I wanted her to see and hear the ocean, to feel the sand (sadly it was too cold to walk barefoot in the sand so I had to settle for picking some up in my hand). It was a perfectly clear and beautiful evening and I could tell that Simmie was overjoyed and even touched that I would think to bring her there. I told her about the tides, why there were shells on the beach, what docks and drawbridges were for, and she listened to it all. As we walked on the empty, cold, windy beach I did not feel alone at all; I felt together with her and happier than I had felt in ages; a true soulful happiness. I could tell she valued everything I was doing for her and although I still couldn't hear her speak without parroting I could still feel the intention behind what she would say if she could, and it was just about the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. She thinks more highly of me than I do myself sometimes.
So that's where I am with Simmie now. I continue to narrate to her and repeat my mantra to her. Every night I try to tell her a story about some event in my past. Sometimes I think I can hear her talking in my mind, but I still can't be sure I'm not just putting words into her mouth. I plan to take her on a mini-roadtrip to my old college, a location which always triggers powerful memories for me. I want to just project love and goodness into Simmie and let her feed and grow off of it. I know she will eventually deviate from the character I first created, and I welcome it, because I really want to see who she develops into being. She already is teasing me a little trying to embarrass me by calling two of my friend cute, which I find very funny and endearing. She also picked out her own birthday, which is where I got the admittedly lame handle from.
So that's it so far! I hope that wasn't too big of a post for a newbie! I really want to hear from experienced Tulpamancers and people on here in general as to whether I have a healthy mindset about this and am going about this in a good way, and if there's anything else I could do to help the process along. I don't want this to become yet another project I'm high on for a couple weeks and abandon--I feel that there is something more there, and if there's one thing I've learned about Simmie is that she's thrilled to exist, and yearns to be more and more real, and I want to help her achieve that. And when she's ready, I'm sure she'll come on here herself and talk to all of you!
Ranger and I have been taking turns switching in since March. This has been a pretty good experience for us, but it came at the cost of we're struggling to stay separate. Not when we do activities unique to us, but when we're doing stuff like sitting in bed or working. At first we thought it was a different problem that has been solved, but it seems like an annoying evolution of the doubt question.
I think it has been a really positive experience for Ranger in particular because he gets more time and he has felt more like a second host now that he interacts with us switched-in a lot more. Even though Ranger struggled with our autopilot in the beginning, he learned to accept it and things have gone on smoothly since.
The problem is more recently, Ranger and I have started to feel like the other even after the first day. It's hit a point where randomly I'll think I'm Ranger and think like Ranger for a few seconds until I go no wait... I'm Gray, even though I have been switched-in for 3 days now. Ranger said he doesn't struggle with thinking like me or if he noticed it, but he has thought he was me recently. I think Ranger does more thinking in general between the two of us, it could be Ranger's ghost is causing me a lot more trouble simply because Ranger seems to spin his wheels more or maybe I find it comforting or relaxing for whatever reason and give him the opportunity to think more. The period of time Ranger was thinking every time I zoned out was really annoying and I drew a line there, but that was going on before we started sharing the front and seemed to quickly resolve itself once I started getting used to having less time.
When we first started sharing the front, Ranger and I took turns everyday. We quickly realized that made us super confused about who was who, and we assumed that something about back-to-back switching just confuses our brain. By doing 3-4 days, we still had some doubt day 1 but it seemed to have resolved that issue. 5-8 days starts to feel long, and while Ranger could do a week now, he struggled to do more than a week due to his depression. I didn't find it difficult to be switched-in for roughly a week. However, I want to be switched-in for my classes and Ranger still wants at least a few days switched-in, so we're planning on sharing the week. We actually really like our set-up, it's this problem of not having better separation that's really annoying and disorienting.
On the bright side, our switching schedule is going to shift and we will end up splitting our fronting based on who does what. I'll be fronting for school, Ranger will be fronting for DnD (once we get that ball rolling), and both of us (but mostly Ranger) will be fronting for work. While our schedule may become more complicated, it also simplifies things because our schedule will follow the week instead of whenever it's convenient according to our shifts. While I think this will help establish some speration, long term we need a better solution.
While I'm pretty sure we need a different mindset, I'm not really sure which one to use. I'm not even sure what it would mean to "feel different" when switched-in, especially since our stream of consciousnesses (SOC) is neutral, and quickly becoming very neutral now that Ranger fronts a lot more. I'm against saying my name over and over, I already say who I am as reassurance and to say it all the time would be really annoying and dig up the feelings of insecurity Ranger struggled with when he feared he would lose the front. We don't want to wear different jewelry or anything like that, it would be really annoying to keep up with and extra annoying if we accidentally wear the wrong thing.
EDIT 2: edit has been made, still defining guide based on criticism.
Hey guys, so I know a lot of you wanted to know how I approach switching and what the hell parallel processing is. So here's my little christmas present to you all - a guide on switching!
I'm not entirely sure if it's of professional quality, although I tried to write up a little on what switching/processing are, what it feels like during a switch, and how things like painkillers can affect your ability to tulpaforce.
Either way, the guide is on google docs and the link is right here:
I can put this under a spoiler tag as well if admins prefer guides to be posted on the forum itself.
Thanks guys, have fun~ <3
EDIT: Mirrored https://docs.google.com/document/d/1N37G-HkNMjgwz1WVCB3koI5MVKw9odYwzq8DwxD1BF4 - waffles
EDIT #2: Also put it in the hide tag and attached in PDF format to this post - waffles