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Is it bad that I have multiple Tulpas?


DumbFanta

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Hello, I’m Fanta (formerly Kira), and I have a lot of tulpas. All of them except for 1 are accidental because I had made them on accident last year due to having issues with making friends and other things going on in my life at the time. I knew they were there but I never really knew what they were, and I tried to ignore them after a while because I was worried it was some weird disorder. Just recently after making Nep the others before him are getting more and more active now and I’m just now realizing how many tulpas I have. I don’t know if this is a bad thing or not and I need some advice.

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My system started off in a similar boat. As I helped Ranger develop, it became more and more obvious to us that some other "characters" were actually tulpas. We ended up becoming a system of 17 once we decided they were tulpas and let them join the system.

 

I don't believe being a big system is inherently bad. For those that are big tulpa systems for whatever reason, they operate like other systems but have the additional challenge of giving everyone enough time. A lot of large systems tend to get stigmatized because some people judge if you made what they think is the right decision and some think it's impossible to have more than 2 or 3 "real" tulpas. Even though us being a large system wasn't ideal, we ultimately decided that keeping the others around was far less stressful than not.

 

I believe having a growing system population you don't want is bad. I think it's a bad thing if the system doesn't want to grow and struggles to keep the system under control. An influx of unwanted headmates can cause a lot of stress and hurt the host's confidence on how much control they have. I don't know if you have a growing population of tulpas, but if you do and you don't want more, I can help. If you want to manage a large system, it's much easier once the number of headmates is stable.

 


 

From here, you have several options.

 

The first option is to continue with Nep and work on the others when you're ready. Even though stasis can sometimes weaken a tulpa, it's unlikely and it's not enough to dissipate a tulpa unless that's the end goal. I have heard lots of stories about tulpamancers who have revived young tulpas from several years ago and my headmates have spent a lot of time in inactivity before waking up again. From all of the times stasis has weakened my headmates, it correlated with how stable they felt in general. All of this is reversible anyway, short term attention and forcing will undo the problem. I was scared that I could accidentally dissipate my headmates, but there's a lot more evidence that your tulpas will be okay than not. After working with Nep, you can decide if the two of you want to bring back one or more of the others. There's no time limit on making this choice.

 

A second option is to integrate, merge, or dissipate some of your extra headmates. Some of them may want the option if they realize they can't stick around or their outlook isn't desirable. For our system, we eventually had one headmate who wanted to integrate and later two who wanted to dissipate.

 

A third option is to keep your headmates. If you choose to keep them, you have to understand you can only provide what you can. Depending on how many you have and how much time you have, you may want some kind of organization system in place. We have tried putting together a turn system, but it fell apart once we needed to spend more time on headmates leaving the system and we had less time to work with in general. (Realistically my headmates would have to wait for a year before their next turn assuming we gave everyone 3 weeks of wiggle room for time). Right now we have an informal check on everyone system and we let our headmates hang out and chat whenever. We may change our approach if our system shrinks significantly.

 

It may be applicable to apply multiple options. Some may want to be in stasis, some may want to stick around, and some may want to leave somehow. Which option becomes relevant may also depend on the timing- all of my headmates initially liked the idea of sticking around until 3 changed their minds. My headmates opinions about their possible options also change with time.

 


 

Being a big system isn't easy, but it's doable. I don't think a tulpa is going to get the same kind of attention they could get from a smaller system unless they're a co-host like Ranger or a headmate who gets a lot more attention for whatever reason. It's not productive to shame yourself for not knowing or wishing things were different- all you can do is sort out what you want, what your headmates want, and apply what you can do from there.

Meow. You may see my headmates call me Gray or sometimes Cat.

I used to speak in pink and Ranger used to speak in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). She loves to chat.

 

Our system account

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54 minutes ago, Cat_ShadowGriffin said:

My system started off in a similar boat. As I helped Ranger develop, it became more and more obvious to us that some other "characters" were actually tulpas. We ended up becoming a system of 17 once we decided they were tulpas and let them join the system.

 

I don't believe being a big system is inherently bad. For those that are big tulpa systems for whatever reason, they operate like other systems but have the additional challenge of giving everyone enough time. A lot of large systems tend to get stigmatized because some people judge if you made what they think is the right decision and some think it's impossible to have more than 2 or 3 "real" tulpas. Even though us being a large system wasn't ideal, we ultimately decided that keeping the others around was far less stressful than not.

 

I believe having a growing system population you don't want is bad. I think it's a bad thing if the system doesn't want to grow and struggles to keep the system under control. An influx of unwanted headmates can cause a lot of stress and hurt the host's confidence on how much control they have. I don't know if you have a growing population of tulpas, but if you do and you don't want more, I can help. If you want to manage a large system, it's much easier once the number of headmates is stable.

 

 


 

From here, you have several options.

 

The first option is to continue with Nep and work on the others when you're ready. Even though stasis can sometimes weaken a tulpa, it's unlikely and it's not enough to dissipate a tulpa unless that's the end goal. I have heard lots of stories about tulpamancers who have revived young tulpas from several years ago and my headmates have spent a lot of time in inactivity before waking up again. From all of the times stasis has weakened my headmates, it correlated with how stable they felt in general. All of this is reversible anyway, short term attention and forcing will undo the problem. I was scared that I could accidentally dissipate my headmates, but there's a lot more evidence that your tulpas will be okay than not. After working with Nep, you can decide if the two of you want to bring back one or more of the others. There's no time limit on making this choice.

 

A second option is to integrate, merge, or dissipate some of your extra headmates. Some of them may want the option if they realize they can't stick around or their outlook isn't desirable. For our system, we eventually had one headmate who wanted to integrate and later two who wanted to dissipate.

 

A third option is to keep your headmates. If you choose to keep them, you have to understand you can only provide what you can. Depending on how many you have and how much time you have, you may want some kind of organization system in place. We have tried putting together a turn system, but it fell apart once we needed to spend more time on headmates leaving the system and we had less time to work with in general. (Realistically my headmates would have to wait for a year before their next turn assuming we gave everyone 3 weeks of wiggle room for time). Right now we have an informal check on everyone system and we let our headmates hang out and chat whenever. We may change our approach if our system shrinks significantly.

 

It may be applicable to apply multiple options. Some may want to be in stasis, some may want to stick around, and some may want to leave somehow. Which option becomes relevant may also depend on the timing- all of my headmates initially liked the idea of sticking around until 3 changed their minds. My headmates opinions about their possible options also change with time.

 

 


 

Being a big system isn't easy, but it's doable. I don't think a tulpa is going to get the same kind of attention they could get from a smaller system unless they're a co-host like Ranger or a headmate who gets a lot more attention for whatever reason. It's not productive to shame yourself for not knowing or wishing things were different- all you can do is sort out what you want, what your headmates want, and apply what you can do from there.

Thank you! This helped a lot and gave some good info, we have a lot of head mates but I’m going to try my best to get everything under control, if I need any help I guess I’ll let you know!

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