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A Helpful Conversation Mindset For Older Tulpas



Some of you who have mastered switching and likely play a big role in managing your system may have this awkward side problem- talking to your host is hard. You and your host want to talk more, but there's a barrier you don't fully understand. Luckily, there is a simple solution: A helpful mindset for talking to your host is to only consider what was talked about as repeat information.


If your host wants to talk but struggles too, it could be due to an underlying assumption on how to communicate. One of the unwritten rules in having a conversation with someone else is sharing information you assume they don't know. If you bring up the same thing over and over again, people typically find it annoying. This can make it frustrating to hold or even start a conversation with your host because you know everything they did and vice versa. This is why talking to other people on Discord or even your less active headmates can be easier. Odds are good they don't know what you're about to share or they have enough disconnect from you to not immediately say "I already know that".


A simple solution is to use a different conversation rule for in-system conversation. Consider what you remember telling your host and vice versa as possible repeat information. For example, if I watched a video about hippos and I didn't tell my host yet, that's new information I can share. He remembers all of the content from the video I just watched, but I didn't take the time to talk about it yet.


A helpful mindset for talking to your host is to only consider what was talked about as repeat information. Additionally, when you explain something as yourself, you will likely add things to make it sound more personalized to your point of view, helping establish separation. Hearing your host's take can be a welcome surprise too. It may feel like the best conversation you both had in a long time.


Submitted for Narration Tips and Tricks

I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.


If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread

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Stone: This is a huge problem for us so I was excited when I saw this.


5 hours ago, Ranger said:

A helpful mindset for talking to your host is to only consider what was talked about as repeat information.


This phrasing confused me. At first I thought it meant, "All you have to do is consider what you talk about repeat information" (you only have to do this). Then I thought you put "only" in a weird spot and you meant, "A helpful mindset for talking to your host is to consider what is talked about as only repeat information." Then I figured out you meant, "Don't treat information as repeat information unless you've talked about it with your host before."


Due to that first misinterpretation I originally made a point that "considering what is talked about to be repeat information is not the only thing you have to do". Now I know I don't have to make that point, but I have this list of other things one can do to make conversation about repeat information less awkward, and I don't want to get rid of it and it is on topic so I'll just include it here.


Things you can do (some of which Ranger mentioned but I included them anyway so it's all in a neat list):

  • Expand on the information available to you.
  • Explain the information in a way unique to you.
  • Form a new opinion on the information available to you.
  • Look at the information available to you from a different perspective.
  • If you tulpa or host agrees with you, ask them to play Devil's Advocate.
  • Treat all information as new information and try to act accordingly.
  • Treat conversation as purely about socialization, not sharing useful information.
  • Don't assume what your host or tulpa is going to say.
  • Describe the information in an exaggerated way.
  • Ask, "Is there anything interesting we can do with this information?"
  • Practice "Yes, and..." thinking.
  • Use buffers to make interaction easier or more interesting (playing a game, watching TV, etc.).
  • Decide on a very specific element of the information to focus on.


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