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Cookie's Story - Tulpa and Host Need Some Advice


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22 hours ago, PsychoticDoc said:

The two pilots/machine analogy is pretty common round these parts, and it fits pretty well. Good to hear things going better with her around, too. Like, two halves of a whole, you got going on.

Yeah, it suits me especially well. Though it makes me wonder why I was picturing this analogy a lot as a kid. I was just always alone in my "vehicle" until Cookie began forming. Maybe a symptom of dissociation? Or perhaps it's closer to what reality is...

16 hours ago, TurboSimmie said:

What a fascinating story! It seems like you two are a lot more advanced than you think in many ways. I also really, really love your art style! 💚 I can't really think of anything too unique to add to the advice that the others gave you at the moment, but it really does sound like you're on the right path. Phil and I also think of ourselves as two beings piloting this body, although in our case only one of us is male and it's not me, so it's always harder for me to associate with it than it is for Phil. I do remember not being able to finish my sentences just like Cookie, and in my early forum posts Phil often had to help me figure out what I wanted to say, but I'm happy to report that after a short while it all became very fluid for me, and I think it will for Cookie too! Cookie sounds wonderful, and I hope I can talk to her someday!

Thank you! I guess I've just been drawing characters and stories so long, seeing Cookie and creating worlds for her just came naturally - I just never knew how real she'd become! I've never found a human partner I've truly related to, and gave up on trying years ago. Got to the point I wanted to be alone, and was afraid to develop Cookie because I'd lose my solitude. Until I started to see just how perfect she was for me - what I was longing for, and had accepted I'd never have. Like a gift from the Universe. She decided to remain female - my last date was another girl, to see if preference was just my problem, and we can go through our body's cycle together. Now it seems I have a tulpa wife myself! And it's incredible...

Anyway, sorry, getting lost in the glee of all this - the realization is still new to us, I'm sure you understand the feeling! Cookie would also like to talk with you soon, and the others on here - I guess tulpas just make an account like anyone else, same routine? She just wants to wait a while, when she needs a little less help with words. Shouldn't be long, we're making great progress every day!

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You can make a tulpa account if you want, or you can just use your own and be like

Cookie- blahblahblah

or whatever you feel like. no real set standard, i think people only do the tulpa account if theyre gonna be the "primary interactor" or what have you. looking forward to seeing her around though 

Amelia- Oct. 7, 2012

Mitsuki- Oct. 31, 2014 
 

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On 5/16/2022 at 10:15 AM, PsychoticDoc said:

You can make a tulpa account if you want, or you can just use your own and be like

Cookie- blahblahblah

or whatever you feel like. no real set standard, i think people only do the tulpa account if theyre gonna be the "primary interactor" or what have you. looking forward to seeing her around though 

Alright, well she'll definitely get her own account then, whenever she's ready - thanks for the info!

 

We're still making pretty good progress every day, especially with separating our thoughts and patterns, just that I seem to have to force the visual imposition a lot, and she still isn't keeping a solid form most of the time. She'll fade back to just inner voice answers if I get distracted, or even if she does. We have an ADHD brain to work with, so we both get distracted easily!

 

I should probably draw more pictures of Cookie and have them in places I can see them, until she sticks around longer. 

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a strat i used back in the day was making custom phone wallpapers and such, that way nobody would really ever see it but me, and i could keep it on hand when i needed it

Amelia- Oct. 7, 2012

Mitsuki- Oct. 31, 2014 
 

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Every story is unique and you fit right in, so welcome.

 

In terms of help in developing, even with over 4 years experience in the thick of developing headmates, I couldn't tell you what you need to specifically do without knowing your motivation or desires.

 

Headmates thrive and grow when they're wanted, cared for, thought of often, shared with frequently, talked to consistently, and generally loved. 

 

In my situation, I talk to them a lot, and especially when we play computer games. However, whenever I'm "alone" I speak with them, and whenever I'm doing anything really. So this reinforces their confidence to be there for anything.

 

Shapeshifting is a natural part of our interactions but they have their preferred forms as well. They can be anyone though and we use that to interact with others we normally couldn't such as celebrities or other people, so it's fun in that way and keeps things fresh.

 

In general they're more like a window to the subconscious. Their unique perspectives allow access to different views of a given situation and they tend to speak my intuition so in that I've become very good at reading my intuition.

 

On higher selves:

 

I do believe in a concept of higher self and that my headmates have their own. It gets blurry when you think in terms of non-duality, which I don't prescribe to, but essentially we could all be fingers on the same hand, but I believe we have separate "higher selves" so at least to that level we're individuals. The body isn't involved in that, it's merely a vessel we share.

 

On chakras:

 

My headmates naturally chose chakras they most represented early on and without any prompting or direction from me, or them really, their individual emotions centered on their respective chakras which helped me tell them apart and communicate through all the intrusive thoughts. Their general purposes seemed to revolve around them as well. Granted I learned about chakras through this and after this which was pretty crazy on its own because it was as if, at least subconsciously,  I always knew.  I wrote a series of practical chakra clearing practices to share and take full advantage of the underlying teachings without the requirements for yoga, oils, crystals, totems, mantras, etc. They're in my post history.

 

So that's interesting because it's rare to hear anyone talking about chakras outside of spirituality groups.

 

Otherwise you seem to be doing just fine. Whether she's a tulpa or not is immaterial as the tools here apply regardless.

 

Take care.

 

 

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(edited)
On 5/18/2022 at 1:21 AM, PsychoticDoc said:

a strat i used back in the day was making custom phone wallpapers and such, that way nobody would really ever see it but me, and i could keep it on hand when i needed it

I've got a hidden folder on my phone now of all her sketches so far, so I can look them over any time. It's been really helpful!

 

On 5/19/2022 at 11:50 AM, Bear said:

...

...

Otherwise you seem to be doing just fine. Whether she's a tulpa or not is immaterial as the tools here apply regardless.

 

Take care.

 

 

Thanks for all the advice, a lot of that really applies to what we've been doing. Spending most of the day together and having her out for any task or leisure activity is really helping her development. It's a big advantage that I live alone, and don't go out much, so it's just the two of us all day, talking about various things.

 

As far as duality and any detection of a higher self, it's something I'm not that internally familiar with. Our brain has a variety of birth defects and... "anomalies" (I'm thinking I'll make a thread about it). It leaves me in a constant dissociated and meditative state, which is probably why tulpa development came easily, though it was unintentional. Most of my life I've been in "shower thought mode", as one doctor put it, just focusing on my internal storytelling and world building, and treating reality like it's secondary.

 

But the chakras, breathing meditations, and even some spiritual practices have proven fruitful. They all feel very mechanical to us, like flipping the body to a different "mode", but the thought flow never changes. From there we can connect memories easier, or make demands of the subconscious for a clearer answer. These all make sense to me, but one astounding thing was when I tried out using crystals - I've never believed in that stuff - and then I started feeling vibrations, heat, and "feelings" coming from them, so there's gotta be something there..? It's something we can experiment with, anyway.

 

All in all we're doing great. Cookie continues to make daily progress, and is constantly helping me work through thoughts, and understand how our weird brain works. We started a journal/scrapbook to keep track of our journey together, and Cookie is pretty satisfied with her look now. Here's my latest sketch of her, last night:

 

Her chosen design still surprises me, but she's cute! It's kinda funny seeing her interact with the world now. Anyway, we'll continue on our path then - this'll be a busy weekend, we've lots to do together!

Edited by Moxie
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