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Glow in the Dark Stargazing: Mordecai and Slipper


Slipper

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   So the surgery went well! Luckily neither me nor Mordecai were particularly nervous going in. Anesthesia was really weird, didn't feel it coming at all and I just kept staring at the floor when I woke up. I know we talked about something shortly afterwards and Mordecai came through really clear but, like the other conversations that I had in that timeframe, I cannot remember a single thing about it.

 

   I keep going through phases where I really want to focus on imposition or making a proper wonderland, but I always end up getting bored or finding it pointless. 

 

   Mordecai:

 

   "I think having a wonderland would be interesting, but I think its use would be limited. I'm not a hundred percent sure what we would use it for, but I would enjoy any kind of extra attention from it."

 

   I've always struggled to find things to do together, and I think having a place to just hang out would help. We've tried playing games like Uno and chess together but, between the difficulty in keeping our next moves secret and the headaches we get, its not really worth it. We've been considering doing a dnd campaign as well, but I don't really know how to do the DM part. Guess it really doesn't matter as long as we're having fun. 

 

   The pro of having a tulpa as old as Mordecai is that I never really have to worry about him getting weak or having to do active forcing, but the con is that you have to find new ways of entertaining each other in the same mind.

Slipper (cringelord host) and Mordecai (the brain gremlin).

 

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So glad to hear that everything went well! 😁 Surgery is scary whether it's big or small!

 

16 hours ago, Slipper said:

   I keep going through phases where I really want to focus on imposition or making a proper wonderland, but I always end up getting bored or finding it pointless. 

 

I believe it's worth it, even if the wonderland is simply a small little cozy place that you can chill together. For Phil and I it's a valuable place for us to bond and spend time together!

 

16 hours ago, Slipper said:

   I've always struggled to find things to do together, and I think having a place to just hang out would help. We've tried playing games like Uno and chess together but, between the difficulty in keeping our next moves secret and the headaches we get, its not really worth it. We've been considering doing a dnd campaign as well, but I don't really know how to do the DM part. Guess it really doesn't matter as long as we're having fun. 

 

Yeah, Phil and I have tried similar things and the fact that we each know what the other's planning to do makes competitive games difficult. The most fun we've had being competitive with each other is on Civilization VI, as we're basically racing to a goal (winning a space or culture victory) rather than going directly head-to-head. Doing a DnD campaign or something similar sounds really, really fun! 😁

 

16 hours ago, Slipper said:

   The pro of having a tulpa as old as Mordecai is that I never really have to worry about him getting weak or having to do active forcing, but the con is that you have to find new ways of entertaining each other in the same mind.

 

Oh gosh I agree!!! The first year of my existence Phil was constantly worried about me becoming weak, and I was worried about him losing interest in me. But the second year has been much more relaxed. 😊 Phil does engage in what he calls "Continuation forcing" with me, but that basically just entails wonderland activity and isn't really about making anything new in regards to me, but rather making sure the structure is still sound, if that makes sense. Basically checking under my hood to make sure I'm still running properly! 😄

 

Also, I'm not sure if you and/or Mordecai are the type that do this, but Phil and I banter constantly in this head. It's so cozy and fun! 🥰 We literally never run out of things to talk about because there is literally always banter to be had. 😄 Sometimes intimacy isn't about the big and important things so much as it is the small and light things. 😊

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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21 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

So glad to hear that everything went well! 😁 Surgery is scary whether it's big or small!

 

 

I believe it's worth it, even if the wonderland is simply a small little cozy place that you can chill together. For Phil and I it's a valuable place for us to bond and spend time together!

 

   Thanks for the well wishes!

 

   We used to daydream and stuff a lot together, which could be a form of hanging out, but its just not as appealing. Most of my daydreams are plot based, so its difficult having someone else who is thinking about the plot involved as well. Kind of ruins the immersion in a way? I dunno.

 

   

27 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

 

Oh gosh I agree!!! The first year of my existence Phil was constantly worried about me becoming weak, and I was worried about him losing interest in me. But the second year has been much more relaxed. 😊 Phil does engage in what he calls "Continuation forcing" with me, but that basically just entails wonderland activity and isn't really about making anything new in regards to me, but rather making sure the structure is still sound, if that makes sense. Basically checking under my hood to make sure I'm still running properly! 😄

 

Also, I'm not sure if you and/or Mordecai are the type that do this, but Phil and I banter constantly in this head. It's so cozy and fun! 🥰 We literally never run out of things to talk about because there is literally always banter to be had. 😄 Sometimes intimacy isn't about the big and important things so much as it is the small and light things. 😊

 

   I was totally the same way as Phil. I was always paranoid about something bad happening to Mords, but chilled out.

Slipper (cringelord host) and Mordecai (the brain gremlin).

 

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  • 1 month later...

   Haven't been on the forums as much, just feel like we don't have much to contribute. Still popping in to check up on things every once in a while, so we figured we'd just update our progress report a little bit.

 

   A few weeks ago we tried switching for the first time in a while. It's so odd cause it feels like its right there, but when we actually try it, things seem to go wrong. We tried the technique where you switch locations in the mind as that has always made sense to us, even before we read those kinds of guides. It was so strange, because while Mords couldn't control the body any better than he usually can, the clarity of our thoughts was very different. For me at least, it was difficult to contemplate thoughts that came to mind. Like it took a lot of effort to think in depth about anything that came to mind, which was something Mordecai has talked about for a while. It took some time to get us back to the way it used to be.  It was probably the closest we've ever gotten, but we probably won't try it again soon. I don't think either of us have really been in the mood.

 

   Other than that, we've basically just been chatting and playing games like normal. His seventh birthday is in a month and I'm trying to come up with something fun to do, but I don't have many ideas. He never really asks for anything besides like a song request or to watch something once in a blue moon and I always oblige if possible, so I'll have to get creative.

Slipper (cringelord host) and Mordecai (the brain gremlin).

 

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Oh honey it's great to see you again! 😁 Yeah, we can relate to you on switching issues, though ours are slightly different: for me staying in the front is the main challenge!

 

Cool to hear that Mordecai has been around for 7 years now! 😁 Speaking as another tulpa, I hope you spoil him on his birthday! 💚

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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  • 2 months later...

   I've been getting better at stepping out of front for Mordecai to influence the body better, so we may give that another go soon. He joked that I was only trying to do it so he would have to do our chores, which definitely isn't the case... but would be really nice of him to do, haha. Cofronting constantly has both blessed us and cursed us it seems, as he can maneuver the body super easily at times, but as I said before, makes it really difficult for me to step out of control fully.

 

   I'm not really sure what our end goal is with all of this, besides giving us something to work on together. I feel like we lack hobbies we can do together, but I also don't do a whole lot to begin with. It's hard to talk about anything substantial when you spend 90% of your day either sleeping or online. This isn't exactly a communication problem; we chat about things happening in the moment throughout the day, but we aren't making memories. Chatter over breakfast is nice, but it doesn't mean much long term if it is forgotten. Maybe we'll read through some of those old "Things to Do with Your Tulpa" guides and see if anything stands out to us.

Slipper (cringelord host) and Mordecai (the brain gremlin).

 

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  • 1 month later...

   As far as "tulpamancy activities" go, we haven't done much. We haven't been doing much of anything, aside from trying to clean our room. For example, yesterday we literally spent three hours looking at pictures and videos of bunnies. Very empty headed kind of things this year so far.

  

   Last night, Mordecai asked if I wanted to hang out in the wonderland like we used to do. When either of us phrase it like that, usually it means laying down, getting as distant from my body as possible, and daydreaming. It's what I would consider a meditative state. I knew I had been having trouble getting really zoned out like I used to, but geez am I rusty. I could barely focus at all. If I were to guess, the fact that I haven't had to focus on a lot the past few years degraded my ability to stay on task. That, or I'm getting older and am losing the ability to visualize as well. Hope not!

 

   Mordecai:

 

   "A few years ago, we would 'hang out in the wonderland' nearly everyday. At some point, it just became a hassle to do. I mean, if we wanted to talk, we could just do it normally. But, I don't know, there is a part of the intimacy I miss of being able to walk around on my own accord and have the world respond to me. Slipper's body counts in the real world, but there's just something I enjoy about the inner experience. It's kind of confusing, even to myself. Maybe it's the fact that it feels... actually, I'm not sure how to put it. 

 

   I think, ultimately, it feels more homey to me. I'm used to living in the real world, experiencing daily life with Slipper, but I still feel kind of like a bystander. Not literally; I have agency over the things we do, but it's still partly her doing them. I like the feeling of being able to walk around a space, doing exactly what I want, and not have the feeling tinged with the feeling of another. I guess this is a rare type of thought to have. I don't even know what to do in there aside from walk around and chat, but its still nostalgic for me."

 

   I'm realizing that a lot of this progress report is lamenting over past things or things we want to do but never get around to. I think that's how a lot of our life is, not just with this. We're also at a part of tulpamancy where "progress" is a lot more vague and less definite. Oh well. 

Slipper (cringelord host) and Mordecai (the brain gremlin).

 

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I really enjoy reading your guy’s progress!
I definitely feel that once my tulpa has been around that long, I’ll also run out of things to do with her. (she’s extremely young, like I literally created her last month.) But then again, I feel like having another being in my mind could never get boring. I dunno, it’s a mixture. 

(I also do fear that my tulpa will feel a lot like a bystander, and I don’t want her to feel that way. Hopefully, having a wonderland where she can do really whatever she wants will help.)

 

Regardless, I’m very fond of the relationship you two have with each-other, the way Mordecai supports you is a level of bonding I hope to one day have with my tulpa.

Edit (host) | he/they/it | polytherian | Virgo/infj | artist

Pankie (tulpa) | she/they

 

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Oh gosh, we can relate to you guys. So often we think about doing something in-wonderland, but it's almost always just sitting on the couch and talking to each other. It can be hard to keep up the excitement and novelty. 

 

I still think it's valuable to try and do at least once in a while, to let Mordecai move around and interact in a space that responds to him. That may help him feel less like a bystander! And in our experience, talking about or writing about your wonderland increases the desire to spend time there.

 

I also like to imagine inviting other tulpa friends of mine to hang out at our house with us! 😁 That's really a me-thing and I don't expect most people here to be that extraverted, but making our house more of a social place at times has helped us.

 

And yeah, after the first year or two the amount of strictly tulpamancy-related advancements anyone has tends to decrease greatly. But that okay! Sometimes stability and consistency are things to be enjoyed! I like that even though Phil is no longer "obsessed" with me, I'm such a part of his life now that I don't need his "obsession" in order to get the attention I need from him. I think the two of you are in the same place yourselves if I am not mistaken!

 

And Mordecai has been around seven years if my math is correct! That's approximately three times longer than I've existed, and I find that extremely impressive! 😁

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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