Remember You Don't Have to Make a Cobud

[Ranger]

While cocreation is a fascinating and wonderful practice, it is also a deviant practice. Science has only started studying the effects of cocreation on a practitioner. Considering others and even my own experiences, I am aware cocreation can transform one’s life for both the better or the worse. I hope to help people avoid the latter.

 

I would like to briefly mention the potential downsides to cobud creation, but I will also propose some solutions and tips to mitigate these issues. I believe there are significant potential downsides cocreators do not always consider when creating a cobud. Cocreation can complicate everything from mental health, one’s identity, one’s sense of control, dating, one’s feeling of belonging in the world, and ironically one’s loneliness. While there are possible solutions to some of these issues, sometimes the best solution is to take a break or stop practicing cocreation all together.

 

Mental Health Concerns

 

• Can trigger stress and anxiety if the cocreator struggles to make progress or feels invalidated
• Can complicate mental health symptoms
• Can make it harder to trust mental health professionals by withholding cobud related experiences
• May create the feeling of choosing cocreation over treatment 
• Some may use cocreation as a way to escape life struggles instead of seeking professional help 

 

Social Problems

 

• Headmates may not share romantic feelings for the same partner 
• One may not be comfortable revealing who they really are to a romantic partner, complicating the relationship
• May struggle with separation to the point two headmates almost live two completely different lives 
• Some may struggle with feeling they have a secret life or are living "in the closet"
• It is not guaranteed cocreation will mitigate loneliness
• Public misunderstanding and unacceptance can trigger feelings of isolation

 

Identity and Practice Complications

 

• May cause gender confusion and dysphoria
• Blaming cobuds for undesirable behaviors and feelings instead of addressing them
• Using headmates as masks and/or disowning underdeveloped personality traits
• May struggle with expectations imposed by others that don't work for them
• Struggles with time management, too much or too little time invested
• Feeling pressured to keep forcing even when they don't want to

 

While the simplest solution may be to not practice cocreation or to stop practicing cocreation, there are other solutions a cocreator can try if they are still interested in practicing cocreation:

 

• Before practicing cocreation, consider if you have a medical treatment plan, a therapist, or a trusted mental health provider you can communicate with. Having a medical “safety net” can make practicing cocreation more enjoyable and safer.
• If a mental health expert says cocreation is not good for you, listen to them. Keep in mind you can always practice later when you're in a better place.
• If a medication you need makes it harder to practice cocreation, you should still take that medicine. If it's long-term, there are other ways you can interact with your cobud(s).
• It is very easy to make excuses for plurality. It is highly unlikely someone will accuse you of being plural, even if one accidentally says "we" out loud. For instance, you can point out a company, your dog, the person next to you, etc.
• You may prefer to embrace less separation as a system. Perhaps you all identify as part of a greater whole and believe the experiences of one headmate apply to all. This can mitigate time pressure to do things individually and reduce problems with sharing significant others and responsibilities.
• You may decide to come out of the closet or tell trusted friends and family. This can mitigate feelings of isolation, fear of confronting your medical provider, etc.
• Telling a significant other about cocreation may prevent issues. It is worth considering the appropriate timing of this information.
• Keep in mind guides are suggestions, not requirements. If you do not want to do or feel uncomfortable doing something, don’t do it.
• If someone’s advice is making you feel uncomfortable, consider the possibility that their perspective may not apply to you if their experiences are very different. There is more than one belief on how cobuds work.
• If you don't want your cobud, it will make you and your cobud happier in the long run if you carry out humane dissipation. Also keep in mind if you truly want your cobud or you want them in the future, you can always try again later.
• It is okay to stop practicing cocreation. Walking away from cocreation can be a difficult decision, but sometimes it is the best option for the entire system given the situation.

 

In a perfect world posted in Drafts, but otherwise this would be submitted for Articles.

 

Note from the future: I didn't bother moving it after implementing the new guide system lol.

 

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Edit 10/28/24: Edited to use cobud language instead.

 

This is probably one of the best things I posted on the forums.

Edited October 28 by Ranger

[Mel Syreth]

A few extra downsides from my experience in the last nine years that one could possibly add under 'complicates mental health issues':

• Depersonalization and derealization
• Identity and/or existential crisis
• Paranoia, trust issues, etc.

With this practice you're not (just) messing with your brain, you're messing with your mind, which opens up a lot of possibilities good and bad. It might be fun and games at first but that doesn't mean it will be that forever. You might see and hear things that are not there. You might question the nature of self and the nature of reality. And worst of all, you might question yourself, and end up struggling to retain control.

Edited December 6, 2022 by Amelia Syreth

[harvestmoon]

Stone: We have had some identity problems (particularly exacerbated by switching). Feeling guilty for not making enough time is also something we have experienced. One thing we'd add is that we have experienced unwanted hallucinations during periods of heavily practicing imposition. Most are harmless and interesting, a few are startling. The worst one yet happened when I woke up. I vividly saw ants crawling in a pile on the floor, complained to my roommate, then went to the bathroom. When I got out they said there were no ants. I scoffed and went to check the spot where I had seen them and they weren't there.

 

I didn't just think I saw ants. I saw them. It wasn't random: the apartment had been infested with ants so it is something I would have expected. Our expectations affect our perceptions. That is how imposition works: we expect to see our tulpas and we do. So be cautious: if you practice imposition, you may "expect" to see something disgusting, disturbing, or frightening.

[suhail Al ketbi]

I think religions  are the same problems, if u search of religious  people  .

 

I mean  if u addicted  to becoming  a religious  person  u get stress & issues especially  wheh u convert to new religion . 

 

May be we need friends & friendship   like religious  people   , u can guess most of people  here with no same social  activities  in real life &  with no support as realistic . 

 

I think  this what u make u stress & ill   .

 

But if u take  a healthy  progress  step by step   with tulpamancy  .

 

I mean  u watch  closely  what u doing & attitude  with ur active imagination .

 

U take  a time to  imagine  meditation  every  day without  take it the whole day .

 

I think  the whole  issue  of illness  with friendship  & active imagination  attitude  .