Oguigi

= Oguigi 内儀 & Koomer - The Diary =

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- Day 638 -

Part of the world

 

It been almost a month since my last blog post, A good amount of stuff happened since then.

 

I needed to increase my exposure to the outside world, I was cooped up inside my home too much, And this has damaged my mental health and well being, So i needed a reason, An excuse to go out more, A Job was what i needed. But after months of searching and a bit of luck, Am happy to announce that i got my first job at a fast food restaurant.

 

It’s hard work, as excepted. I’ve found out how out of shape i was both physically and mentally. But whenever i finish my shift, I feel a sense of fulfillment that I haven’t felt in a long time.

 

Oguigi is still around, I now know it’s impossible for her to ever disappear fully. as long as i remember what Oguigi is and the history of her existence her core will always be part of my being.

 

The days of isolation are coming to an end, this job is a major start to being part of the physical world once more. Everyday i still fight to be the person i want to be, i never give up.

 

 

I’ve gotten one message if it’s time to wrap things up, since this blog seems to be less and less about tulpamancy with each post, this is my answer. No, This blog will go on for until i feel like I’ve reach a state of True stability, and even then am not sure.


pix: Link

Diary: http://ponystasha.tumblr.com

Koomer.

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- Day 745 -

The End

 

If you been following this tumblr, you may remember the day 81 post titled “Beginning of the end”

 

well, 664 days later it has finally arrived, The End.

 

But it’s different, Tulpamancy is what’s ending. Am done, finished.

 

I been fooling myself with illusions and playing pretend with myself. all while playing around and abusing the way my mind and brain works.

 

The Reality is, Oguigi is a made-up character inspired when i had a major obsession with a show called my little pony. I made this character up and gave it life and power by surrendering reason and logic.

 

In the End, a tulpa is no more real then any fiction that exist today. It’s an self imposed illusion with a face and a name.

 

In my case I was trapped in a corrosive thought maze that took me almost two years to recover from.

 

It’s time for me to move on. it’s over.

 

To everyone else with tulpas, I do not want to offend anyone with this post. But I personally do not believe in tulpamancy anymore. Tulpamancy will not solve life problems, and i strongly discourage it being pushed on anyone else.

 


=End=

 

This progress report has reached it's conclusion

no more updates will be posted.


pix: Link

Diary: http://ponystasha.tumblr.com

Koomer.

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Guest Anonymous

I have to say this was quite a nice story to follow.

 

Well, I wish you all the best in the future, and I hope your life will be fine from now on.

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*feels* Good luck on the road ahead. I wish you the best. Godspeed, my friend.


"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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I suppose I'm rather late to hear this news, regardless, it caught me by surprise, given by all the progress you made back in 2012 and how I remember looking up to you and others to get my own shit together. In the end no body knows a lot of things about tulpas from how they work or exactly what is being done. All we have to go on is, if it works it works. It's easy to delude, we are taught to ignore any doubt and to force our minds on a plane of existence that allows for tulpas to be rational. Few forcibly discipline it accordingly and most happen to just passively go with the flow and just help. Maybe this does take a damper on your mental health. Most likely, tulpas appeal to the already mentally unhealthy and I've seen many cases regarding that statement with a few members here. I don't know. It's all speculation. Everyone has their beliefs and no body is wrong with them and they affect tulpas. Could we be deluding and it is all an illusion? I probably don't want the answer to that. I've been so desperate to make progress for many reasons. It was all new and exciting back then and now many are at an impasse. Will this last 5, 10 and even 20 years from now? God, I hope not. I got my dose of feels reading this and I wish there was a way around it. Maybe you tried so hard and burned out. No one knows for sure. I wish you the best in your future endeavors. I appreciate all the guidance you gave me years ago and I hope at least you'll stick around to see how many people exactly make it.

 

Personally, this may be the fault of having a non disciplined mind scape. It may be a theory but perhaps we just the gun by default. Maybe we neglect techniques and a proper foundation. I don't know. I'll keep on til it kills me. I don't want to carry on without her in my life.


Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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Perhaps a little late, but since it was bumped ...

 

Regardless of if I buy into your opinion of tulpae being nothing more than willing self deception or not (I don't) the tulpae phenomenon if you will, is still a great journey of self discovery and pushing the boundaries of your existence in this mortal plane (and Beyond if your so inclined).

 

There are risks of course, but then there are also risks in developing medicines involving dangerous chemicals, risks in exploring the solar system, risks (some physical others mental) in generally discovering anything unknown to us.

 

Such is the nature of human curiosity, and it's ability to embark upon such paths of discovery is perhaps one of our species' defining features.

 

You had problems along the way (and you of course have my deepest sympathies!) and while your ending is perhaps both a happy and sad one - your path has been mapped, and with such discovery we all have just a little more knowledge to move forward with on our own paths, and perhaps a little more safely because of it.

 

So with this I bid you farewell and good luck with your future undertakings, and thank you for your in depth documenting of your journey.

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Identity is a deception. Thoughts reference themselves as belonging to a self. But if you look back at them, they are their own entities.

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It's too late, but i have to say this.

 

I think that no matter, what happens, it is a wrong decision. I don't understand, why did you do this.

 

Near the beginning of your adventure you said that you Know she's real and now you say "In the End, a tulpa is no more real then any fiction that exist today." How could it change so drastically??

 

I will tell you one thing: Tulpas ARE real and SHE was real. Maybe you'll be back to tulpamancing and maybe not. I know that you didn't kill her yet. That was much time, but not enough for her to disappear. You should get back to forcing before she really disappears and you will feel guilty for her, let's get it straight, death. But at the end... it's your choice.

 

If you'll read this: Thank you for your attention, Koomer.

 

Bye, Oguigi :(

 

EDIT: Can you tell me, why do you think she wasn't real? Give me a chance to prove you wrong. Are you active on any chat or something? I would like to talk with you in real-time. Thanks in advance.


Tulpae:

Alba

Female

Form: Anthro cat

 

Toshiro

Male

Form: Shapeshifter. Usually half-dragon

 

Shadow:

Nero

Male

Form: Human

 

Daemon:

Iria

Female

Form: European Hedgehog

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