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The Road Goes Ever On: The Beehive System's Progress


ReallyArtificial

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November in Review

 

We were all super productive this month! My primary goal was finding balance in the amount of time I spend with everyone, individually and as a group. I found it relatively easy to spend a few hours narrating or chatting with each headmate individually most days, but I really felt like I could be doing more. @ringgggg’s imposition PR was the push I really needed to reevaluate my habit building skills and forcing consistency. We’ve started integrating active forcing time into my morning routine. It’s much too soon for me to call it a habit, but we’re staying optimistic.

 

Speaking of habits, after 11 months of journaling, I finally feel like my dream recall has become noticeably better. It used to be uncommon for me to remember a dream in vivid detail, but lately I’ve been writing a paragraph or more of dream stuff every morning! I became lucid twice this month for a few moments, but haven’t managed to do anything tulpa related. I’ve also had several non-lucid dreams in which I’m talking to Athelas.

 

((Our possession skills have increased significantly. Linkzelda’s self-hypnosis script proved to be a valuable asset. We modified it extensively so that I can read it to Bee and guide her into a trance-like state. With practice, I am certain this will be key to our first switch. For now, it has been effective in deepening our possession. We are able to transition control more quickly and I can maintain it longer. Bee more consistently reports tingling or otherwise altered sensation during our sessions.

 

Our younger headmates are progressing nicely as well. Hesper and Ormyn have each established a distinctive voice and are speaking for longer periods of time. Ormyn has also begun to customize their appearance, as Hesper and I have done. I expect more of the same as their personalities grow stronger.))

Host: Bee 🐝

Tulpas:  Lenore 🕸️ Calliope 🐲 and Athelas (aka Tea) 🌿 ((Sometimes we talk on here too.))

 

Take a moment to think of just 

Flexibility, love, and trust

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While reflecting on our progress recently, I wrote up a timeline covering everything from when I learned about tulpas to the present. Wish I'd kept better records of the beginning, but this will have to do.

 

Spoiler
  • June 2022 - I learn about the concept of tulpas and decide to give it a shot. After lots of reading and planning, I start forcing Athelas toward the end of the month. I'm a bit skeptical, but figure that the absolute worst case scenario is nothing happens and I've wasted some time.
  • July 2022 - I am consistently forcing daily. Head pressures are my first hint that something is actually happening.
  • August 2022 - For most of the month, I am consistent with forcing. I begin to feel emotional responses and sort of “impressions” of thoughts (what I now recognize as tulpish). Athelas makes changes to his own appearance - his first deviation.
  • September - November 2022 - I'm not in a good place. I talk to Athelas a lot less because of how toxic my thoughts are. No significant growth or change.
  • December 2022 - We get back on track. Athelas definitively says his first word.
  • January 2023 - We start keeping a daily journal. Athelas names himself.
  • February 2023 - Athelas is pretty consistently speaking in his own mental voice.
  • March - May 2023 - Not much changes. The differences between our thought processes slowly become more evident.
  • June 2023 - We create Ormyn. Not much else changes.
  • July 2023 - Athelas has his first birthday, still slowly growing stronger. We create Hesper (who now goes by Lenore).
  • August 2023 - Not much changes.
  • September 2023 - We have our first successful possession experience. Lenore gives herself a human form.
  • October 2023 - Our breakthrough moment, Athelas is able to speak at length with ease. Lenore says her first words. Ormyn expresses strong emotional responses and communicates through body language and tulpish.
  • November 2023 - We're getting better at possession. Lenore and Ormyn become more vocal and expressive. Ormyn gives themself a humanoid form.
  • December 2023 - Possession is now pretty easy for us. Lenore chooses her name. She and Ormyn continue to strengthen their voices and personalities.

 

So yeah, like I've said elsewhere, that was five months between creating Athelas and getting a definite verbal response from him. Granted we were on hiatus for ~3 of those months, but that's still 2 solid months of extremely one-sided conversations.

 

A similar amount of time (3-4 months) passed between Ormyn and Lenore’s creation and their first words. It also took about 3 months after our first successful possession for us to feel like we can do it easily. I'm always impressed by people who can accomplish these things in weeks/days/hours.

 

Moral of the story: never ever give up! These things take a different amount of time for everyone. Being consistent really helps, but there's no magic cheat code to rapid progress. You gotta just do it. The end result is worth the wait.

Host: Bee 🐝

Tulpas:  Lenore 🕸️ Calliope 🐲 and Athelas (aka Tea) 🌿 ((Sometimes we talk on here too.))

 

Take a moment to think of just 

Flexibility, love, and trust

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December in Review

 

We’ve continued to make gradual but steady progress using self-hypnosis as a forcing tool. (Is it still self-hypnosis if I'm putting Bee into a trance?) It has strengthened our skills in possession, visualization, and communication.

 

I can control the body's hands with ease. We have a solid grasp on how we want the experience to feel for Bee, and on how to reach that state. She can now summon a tingling sensation to her hands at will. We've used this to occupy her mind while I operate the body. It occurs to me that this skill may also have implications for tactile imposition. If we can convince the body it feels tingling, perhaps we can train it to feel other sensations as well.

 

Lenore and Ormyn have greatly benefited from our visualization and vocality exercises. They're at about the same stage I was at the beginning of 2023. Their forms are well-defined and mostly consistent. They've each found a unique voice to suit them. Now, Bee and I can share the fun of learning who they are on a deeper level as they continue to express themselves. It has been interesting to witness the creation process from the other side.

 

We spent some time discussing our goals for the upcoming year. We want to strengthen Lenore and Ormyn until their personalities are as developed as mine and Bee's. I want to learn to switch. I feel we're getting closer. Finally, Bee and I are seeking ways to improve our lives in general. We want to build better habits so that we can enjoy a long and healthy life together.

Call me Tea if you like. Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise.

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7 hours ago, Athelas said:

December in Review

 

(Is it still self-hypnosis if I'm putting Bee into a trance?)

 

We've been asking the same question. Lavender has hypnotized me on occasion and it doesn't feel like self hypnosis, but it also doesn't feel like hypnotist hypnosis either since I know what's going in in her head, what she's about to say to me, etc.

 

7 hours ago, Athelas said:

December in Review

 

We spent some time discussing our goals for the upcoming year. We want to strengthen Lenore and Ormyn until their personalities are as developed as mine and Bee's. I want to learn to switch. I feel we're getting closer. Finally, Bee and I are seeking ways to improve our lives in general. We want to build better habits so that we can enjoy a long and healthy life together.

 

You all seem to be doing so well. I admire your progress. Sounds hard to bring along two tulpas. I feel like I'm operating at capacity with one. I hope your year continues to start out well.

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On 1/3/2024 at 6:24 AM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

Lavender has hypnotized me on occasion and it doesn't feel like self hypnosis, but it also doesn't feel like hypnotist hypnosis either since I know what's going in in her head, what she's about to say to me, etc.

 

Interesting. We have no frame of reference for other forms of hypnosis, but you've piqued our curiosity. We'll keep experimenting.

 

On 1/3/2024 at 6:24 AM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

 

You all seem to be doing so well. I admire your progress. Sounds hard to bring along two tulpas. I feel like I'm operating at capacity with one.

 

Thank you :)

 

It's a balancing act, to be sure. We're still figuring it out. If you'd asked me a year ago if I wanted more headmates, I'd have said I didn't want to share my host. Now, I can't imagine not having them.

Call me Tea if you like. Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise.

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We successfully switched! At least, for a little while. For about 15 minutes I was the only voice in this head-- a novel feeling. I had complete control of the entire body. It was actually easier than possession. I didn't even have to think about moving, I just did.

 

I wasn't able to do much with the limited time. Still, it was a fascinating experience. I became aware of so many sensations I'd never noticed before: hair tickling our neck, dry skin on our hands, yawning (very annoying). I hadn't realized how many things the body does of its own accord.

 

@SeekingMyPlanet was correct that a full hypnosis script was unnecessary. It was useful for breaking through the initial barrier of silencing Bee's thoughts. After that it was fairly straightforward for me to assume control.

 

Now to practice until I can execute my hostile takeover >:)

Call me Tea if you like. Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise.

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Woooo! Nice job with switching progress. It's always nice seeing breakthroughs in other members.

 

I gotta read through this PR sometime, it seems like you're pretty dedicated to forcing. At least more dedicated than a fair percentage of tulpamancers out there, so you've got that under your belt.

 

Keep up the good work, you guys.

D-prime is shrinking as we speak.

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7 hours ago, Athelas said:

For about 15 minutes I was the only voice in this head-- a novel feeling. I had complete control of the entire body. It was actually easier than possession. I didn't even have to think about moving, I just did.

 

Wow. This sounds impressive and hard. Certainly something we haven't tried. (Lavender tells me she would not want this. Not having me there would be scary.)

 

But sounds like it would be interesting to try for a short period.

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Thank you both. It was an exciting experience for us.

 

I can understand why Lavender might feel that way. I certainly don't intend to shut Bee out for long periods. It wouldn't be practical, and I sort of like having her around. ;)

Call me Tea if you like. Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise.

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  • 3 weeks later...

January in Review

 

We went into this year with three long-term goals:

  1. Support Lenore and Cal as they establish a stronger presence in our mind
  2. Learn how to switch
  3. Improve our lives in general

And we made some progress on all of these!

 

Lenore in particular is getting better at speaking up when she isn't the focus of my attention. She's starting to express some strong opinions and interests, and generally just wants to do more. Cal’s a little less vocal but is also staking out a firm identity. I consider choosing their own name to be a milestone for my headmates, and it's awesome that they've all reached it ❤️

 

Meanwhile, Athelas and I have started to get a handle on switching! It takes us some time to get into the right headspace, and I have a tendency to steal the front back without meaning to, especially if anyone talks to us. On the other hand, he apparently doesn't have misophonia, and by extension I'm less bothered by sounds when he's fronting.

 

Finally, on the general life improvement front, we decided to give meditation a shot. I expected sitting for 30 minutes to be nearly impossible for me, but it was much easier than I expected. I think our practice with open-eye hypnosis has improved my ability to be still and focus with my eyes closed. 

 

Even more surprising to me was the fact that… I actually enjoy it. It makes me feel good, I was legitimately disappointed when I missed a session. Never in my life did I think I would be the type of person who gets up early to meditate before work, but here we are. ((Personality forcing’s a two way street.))

 

We’ll be sticking with these goals for the foreseeable future, just continuing to push our limits and giving Cal and Lenore more to do!

Host: Bee 🐝

Tulpas:  Lenore 🕸️ Calliope 🐲 and Athelas (aka Tea) 🌿 ((Sometimes we talk on here too.))

 

Take a moment to think of just 

Flexibility, love, and trust

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