Ringgggg's somewhat-comprehensive foxgirl imposition log

[ringgggg]

I’ve just recently found out how small the fall off is for imposition, like you need to be on that shit on that shit for it to not diminish. On the days I get complacent my quality suffers a lot for the next few practices. I have to constantly be looking for things I can improve on to further progress and keep my head in the game. It’s like figuring out how to intuit muscle memory.

When I impose I use my visualization as a reference tool. Like, if I’m having a hard time sculpting something, I just imagine where my hands would be on the object. The imposition comes out better if I just “imagine over it”, if that makes sense. This doesn’t mean that visualization equals imposition 1:1, but instead it’s more or less there to train you how to tame your imagination.

I use a mix of open and closed eye visualization and constantly shift my focus between the real-world imposition and the mind's eye.

[Luminesce]

"Just consistently practice whenever, forever" never, ever works out for tulpamancers (well, except maybe Bear), so it's very important if you want to maintain/improve a skill long-term you set some kind of permanent practice habit. I highly recommend setting a specific (small amount of) time probably right after you wake up or before you go to bed each day where you seriously focus on imposing, just for like 3-5 minutes, but always do it. Other times would work too if you're likely to always be mentally and physically available then, or even varying times if you have the self discipline to always do it at some point

[ringgggg]

The problem with it was that I never had a consistent part of my day that I had to practice. It'd always bounce from being in the early afternoon one day to being at 10 in the night the next. So it laid the responsibility on me to decide not only if I should do it, but when. Which is terrible for procrastination, as it turns out.

 

I see some people on the discord server I'm on say that they treat it as a phase they come back to after a while, and it just doesn't work like that. I mean, you're still learning more about imposition regardless of how consistent your practice times are, but if you want to go anywhere with it, it has to be non-sporadic effort. If fitness was a phase, you'd never gain enough muscle to say that it did something.

 

I actually have some time in the morning to impose, that's one less decision to make.

[Luminesce]

I feel like the best thing is to commit to a time that works for you consistently at the moment, and then be open to changing it if your schedule changes

 

Very likely the morning or before bed will always be available when the other's not, right?

[ringgggg]

Yeah yeah. I usually feel better doing it when I'm completely woken up, but I'll take consistency. If I really feel the need to I'll do another session in the afternoon.

 

Preach

 

Actually, a lot of it is memory-based. I'm not exactly the best at remembering things, and if I miss a day all my intuition is gone.

Edited September 3 by ringgggg

[ringgggg]

Belief is also a key aspect. If you can’t get used to the sensation of seeing things, you’ll never be able to impose without halfassing it. Get over it, because if you don’t, you’ll be deliberately holding yourself back. 

 

And I quote:

On 4/22/2024 at 11:42 AM, ringgggg said:

When I went to impose outside of a serious session, it was usually wispy and vague and had more to do with visualization, as I would find myself having to piece together how things looked in my head. However, now that I’m starting to see some genuine process come out of imposition practice, I figured I’d do better if I actually applied my valuable progress practically instead of keeping it exclusive to just my sessions.

The solution was to have it be all or nothing for imposition, exertion-wise. There’s no reason for me to half-impose just because I’m apprehensive to the idea that I’m walking with a one-armed anthropomorphic foxgirl in public (of all places). But that’s exactly what I’ve been doing with A3 for all this time, so why half-ass it? 

I’m having those same issues now. I have to remember to take this seriously, though my acceptance is still a little better than it was then. We’ll see how much I’m willing to push it.

[TB]

Those Culadasa quotes were really good to see again. I was contemplating on the illusion of effort recently

 

On 8/15/2024 at 8:29 AM, ringgggg said:

"As imposition teacher Stephanie Nash is fond of saying, 'A good imposition is one you did-—the only bad imposition is one you didn't do.' Take her wise advice into account when you go to impose."

that would have been funny lol

 

I also want to understand what you mean more about half a'ing it. Is that referring to an overall amount of dedication to the practice as a whole, like volume of sitting to do it? Or does it have something to do with what you are doing moment to moment while trying to impose?

 

I'm definitely half a'ing it in regards to volume of practice. I just do it "seriously" for a few minutes before bed then I relax and try to go to sleep with Rena still there to see whenever I go to look, or whatever image will come to me that isn't mental but felt with external seeing sense

 

Bre's guide was an epiphany but I stalled from there, most likely do to lack of volume of practice

 

I recommend trying the do nothing technique of meditation sometime if you feel you are struggling with effort illusion, it will help you follow culadasa's advice there, I think. That's the dots I've connected, anyway

 

Sometimes you do need to bear down (or is it bare down?) though and really go at it. I haven't figured it out yet but I think it is an exercise of mindfully playing with all sides of the scale. Sometimes you need to contract before you can expand

 

I need to read a lot of the rest of the log when I can. I just got recent posts. I care about your progress I just get trapped in lotpw purgatory

 

Good luck

[ringgggg]

On 9/8/2024 at 9:22 PM, TB said:

I also want to understand what you mean more about half a'ing it. Is that referring to an overall amount of dedication to the practice as a whole, like volume of sitting to do it? Or does it have something to do with what you are doing moment to moment while trying to impose?

I’m having those same issues now. This needs to be taken more seriously, and I know I've been more used to it in the past, so we'll see how much I’m willing to push it.

 

An imposition is only as good as it's believed it to be. It's easy to unconsciously deem projecting wild shapes and colors irl too crazy to be taken seriously, which may make you lose faith in your own abilities, and you'll underperform if you let it get to you. Imposter syndrome but for imposers. Imposer syndrome. Go figure. Usually this can be alleviated by slowing down and describing to yourself just what you're imposing in great detail. It doesn't even need to be words, just intuitive feeling.

 

It's easier to convince your black box to shift when you have a more fleshed-out account of what you're aiming to accomplish, which, in this case, is seeing things. You need evidence backing your reasoning, defendant. Use more words and paint with more brush strokes. 

The more time you spend working with these shapes and colors, the more accustomed you’ll be to having them around, which will make you less and less scared to impose. Dr. ringgggg prescribes more practice and more repetition to cure your ailments, as per the usual.

 

On 9/8/2024 at 9:22 PM, TB said:

Bre's guide was an epiphany but I stalled from there, most likely do to lack of volume of practice

Really... It made sense when I read it, but at the same time it didn't. Only bre could pull off such a feat. Or maybe I'm just retarded.

 

All I'm going to say to you is that there's a fine line between research and the actual course of action. Research as needed, but don't forget to really go for it. 5 minutes a night is already consistent. Challenge yourself the next time you go to bed. It doesn't have to be life changing, just a little bit more than what you’re used to.

 

All that effort put into building the perfect car is only worth anything after you hit the freakin gas pedal.

 

On 9/8/2024 at 9:22 PM, TB said:

I need to read a lot of the rest of the log when I can. I just got recent posts. I care about your progress I just get trapped in lotpw purgatory

 

Good luck

Thank you, and don't worry. If I ever attain visual imposition, I'll make sure it's not buried under 168 other posts.

 

On 9/8/2024 at 9:22 PM, TB said:

I'm definitely half a'ing it in regards to volume of practice. I just do it "seriously" for a few minutes before bed then I relax and try to go to sleep with Rena still there to see whenever I go to look, or whatever image will come to me that isn't mental but felt with external seeing sense

Your guardian Stephanie Nash is telling me you're doing a great job.

Edited September 10 by ringgggg

[TB]

On 9/9/2024 at 8:19 PM, ringgggg said:

It's easier to convince your black box to shift when you have a more fleshed-out account of what you're aiming to accomplish, which, in this case, is seeing things. You need evidence backing your reasoning, defendant. Use more words and paint with more brush strokes. 

Because of this I think maybe the best thing I could do right now is work on figuring how how to draw Rena better and draw her a lot more. Study a lot of references that feel like her and combine the pieces to get a bunch of working Renas to look at and when there is something wrong, figure out what it is, somehow. That last part is not simple though, at least it hasn't been so far, but maybe I'm closer to figuring out how to do that

 

On 9/9/2024 at 8:19 PM, ringgggg said:

Your guardian Stephanie Nash is telling me you're doing a great job.

Oh that's good. And I didn't know she has been guarding me up until now, thanks for letting me know

 

On 9/9/2024 at 8:19 PM, ringgggg said:

Thank you, and don't worry. If I ever attain visual imposition, I'll make sure it's not buried under 168 other posts.

May your practice go well

[ringgggg]

Trying to decide whether or not to post here again after this long

I’ve been doing a lot of the same things I described in recent reports, but I’m still hesitant to say anything because I’ve felt like I’ve said all that I needed to say. Which feels wrong after thinking about it more. I definitely could’ve framed things way better than how I used to.

I’ve been stuck at what I’m dubbing the “basic level” of imposition since the last report, and that’s only due to the fact that practice time is not as frequent as it used to be. It feels like I’m imagining things at full throttle, and they’re just on the cusp of being accepted as part of meatspace if I had ever cared to spend a little more time with it. It’s almost like it’s telling me, "ringgggg, all the cards are stacked in your favor. All you have to do is practice and everything will fall into place." It's tempting me, but I don’t follow through. I’m tempted to call it another dark age. It’s just been so long since I started and I’m not as big into it as I used to be last year. I think the main thing that’s causing that is that I’m still having trouble finding a stable time to impose. I don’t want to have to decide to practice just on a whim. I meditate in the morning and bike around 4, and I don’t even have to think about when I start practicing. It’s already in the schedule. I want the same thing to happen for imposition.

I couldn’t write this report without at least a little bit of contemplation. The first few entries don’t even feel like they were written by me anymore, and the more I think about it, the more I long for the level of curiosity I had back then.

Even with me knowing pretty much all that I think I need to know for basic positive imposition, my resolve is dwindling, and I’m afraid to think about how I’m practicing way less these days. I think that figuring out how to do imposition is important, but figuring out how to stay committed is the greater, more important problem. Any idiot can look up how to do imposition online, but the people that actually get to say they did it themselves are few and far between. I’ve even been seeing some people online deny it’s even possible, which really bums me out.

 

On 11/2/2024 at 11:33 AM, YukariTelepath said:

Imposition is becoming a lost art... people on Tulpa Town are insisting it's just imagining in irl space without actually seeing anything, and that we shouldn't give people high expectations. Meanwhile I can't focus long enough to get it down myself.

Close, Tulpa Town. It's not that we should set low expectations, it's that we shouldn't set any expectations at all.

 

I see how many people fall off after the first couple weeks, but giving them low expectations won't motivate them to be better. Expectations close us into boxes. It’s easy to misinterpret any process as something that’s linear and predictable in this state, when in reality it makes it harder to bring up to whatever “ideal standards” there are. You could argue that low expectations lower the bar to make it easier to get to, but if you’re spending your days thinking that the bar’s always going to be that low, you’re going to fake yourself out. It’s a pitfall into mundanity and stagnation. Set (good) rough long term goals for yourself, and leave the rest up to your future self to find out.

 

People ask themselves why things aren’t changing when they don’t see progress. Don’t think about change. The important thing is that you get the practice in. That uncertainty about your results is always there, and unless you toss it to the side, you’re never gonna get anywhere. It’s a distraction. Doing takes priority over reaping the would-be benefits. Even if another imposition guide were to come out, it’d only be as good as the people wanting to follow it.

I’ve had something on my mind after I got back into swimming. I’ve been doing it for years without feeling any kind of strong passion for it, and I’ve still managed to get some pretty good times in the water. Biking, too. I like it, but I don’t tend to be overly serious about it. I do it just to do it. I’ve sustained doing these things for so long, and I’m realizing now that that’s an important principle in any long term practice. Realistically, the majority of your passion and motivation is only going to last until the honeymoon phase ends, so, unless what you’re doing is mandatory or super competitive, it doesn’t make sense to act super dedicated to it from that point forward. I’m not telling you to knock it down to boring, mundane, clock-in-clock-out status, but what I am telling you is that it needs to be part of the motions. 

 

---

 

I’m not going to go into heavy detail, but I plan to enlist in the military right after I graduate, which does raise some concerns about the tiny window of free time I’ll be reduced to once I go in. Realistically, I just won't have enough time to impose after May of next year, so these days it really feels like I’m on the clock. Not expectation-wise, just in general.

P.S. Imposition doesn’t lead to schizophrenia, Tulpa Town. Don’t worry. It’s pure coincidence how they both end up causing hallucinations. They aren’t actually related to each other. 

 

>inb4 someone mentions yaya