LLeRRoux

LLeRRoux's brain is pregnant.

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So most people start their progress log with a description of who they are, but I won't be doing that because I find it quite boring to talk about myself and I'm excited to get to the fun part and the most important one: progress on my tulpa. One thing i will say,though, is that I am a very rational person who immediatly discards any spiritual proposition and when I first heard about tulpas, I thought is was some kind of hallucinatory drug.

 

(TL;DR's in bold for all you lazy peeps)

 

 

The fun part

 

Day 1 (Sept. 28)

After having read a few guides, I decided that morning to sit down and start making a tulpa. I thought I'd follow mostly FAQman's way, but I ended up just mixing a bunch of different methods into my own. I started off by following the "Treating as sentient before sentience" guide, which I believe to have helped me tremendously. Gave my tulpa the name John, the most generic name I could think of, as a placeholder and explained I wanted him to change his name by himself later on. I also told him he should not feel restrained to being male and could choose to become female later on (so far he's been sticking to male, so I'll refer to him as such from now on unless something changes). I then went on to imagining a simple object in front of me. In this case, it was a rock. I tried to imagine all the details on that rock, but I was unable to keep a consistant image of it as it kept changing shape. I replaced the rock with just a hexagonal box, which immediately made it easier to visualise. I tried to do some personality work like FAQman recommended, but I ended up mostly ranting about what kind of personality I wanted him to have and constantly moving onto other traits as I came up with them. So much for 15-30 minutes per trait. I ended the session there, after only 30 minutes. I gave up on personality work and figured I'd let my tulpa develoP it by himself and perhaps alter it later if necessary. I spent the rest of the day mostly reading various topics on these forums, trying to accumulate as much knowledge on tulpas as I could, as well as some tips and tricks from other people. I would occasionally bring up the image of the box in my head and started talking to it, but really not that much. At some point, I decided to imagine my tulpa was trapped inside the box and promised him I would come rescue him. I don't know if that helped, but I think it made it easyer to transition from the image of a geometrical object to that of a living thing. Before going to sleep, I tried to improve my visualisation skills by pictuing an old house my grandparents used to live in. This was one of the most memorable places in my childhood, so it was easy to imagine myself there. I did a few tests as suggested in some guides and decided this would be my wonderland. I pictured the box in the box in the center of the room I was in and imagined it opening, releasing a beautiful blue snake. I tried some touch and smell on it, managing to get very realistic texture but smell didn't work out too well. I interacted with John the snake a bit, trying to avoid puppeting, like most people. Something really strange happened after a few minutes. The snake chared at me from the opposite side of the room, slowly becoming shorter and fatter and distorted until it reached me, in the shape of a small brightly coloured turtle. I tried to revert his appearance back to a snake, but he would immediately turn back into the turtle. This was very confusing, but also very exciting, since it was definitely not me who had altered his shape. I ended the session to go to sleep and just before leaving, I felt what seemed to be a wave of emotion, as if someone was trying to tell me to stay a little longer. I went to sleep with a huge smile on my face.

 

TL;DR: Forcing during the day didn't work out too well and I ended up with a box. Bed time forcing was much more fruitful. Made wonderland, made tulpa into a snake, snake decided to become a stupid-looking turtle, got a wave of emotion before leaving, I guess he's already sentient.


My progress log.

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Days 2 and 3 weren't as productive as day 1, because I had to go out of town for the weekend and didn't have too much time to dedicate specifically to tulpa-related activities.

 

Day 2

As I said, I was goin out of town. I tried to force a bit in the 2 hour drive (I wasn't behind the wheel, no worries) but it didn't amount to much. During the day, I would occasionally direct my attention to John and say a few words, so I guess that counts as narrating. I sometimes spent a few minutes in the wonderland, which I now refer to as Grampa's House, but the turtle didn't budge all day. Sometimes, when I said or thought something, I would et this feeling of approval out of nowhere, which I interpreted as being John. That night, I had a bit o alcohol and was quite tired, but I still tried to force before going to sleep. Needless to say that didn't go all too well. I did however bring him to the back yard, where he became about waist-high and changed colours to be a little less flashy. I also had a wierd feeling that he had chosen a new name and sure enough, I got a wave of aproval when I called him Jake. As I'm typing this, I realize hat session wasn't as bad as I first thought, but I'm still a little disapointed at the results and I had the hardest of times concentrating, so definitely no more drunk forcing for me.

 

TL;DR: Felt an occasional wave of approval when saying or thinkin somehing, tulpa's name is now Jake and he became larger and less flashy. Alcohol and tiredness make it hard to concentrate (DUH!).

 

Day 3

As I woke up, I tried to make up for the previous night's crappy session, but it's just impossible to force in a hotel room wih family members talking out loud to themselves while loudly going about their morning business. During the day, pretty much the same happened as day 2, really. I would occasionally say "Jake" in my mind repeatedly, which brought the same kind of feeling as when someone calls my own name. A few times, I thought I was interruped with a "Stop it" or somehing similar. That made me laugh, for some reason. I tried to force on the way back home, but I fell asleep almost instantly as soon as I closed my eyes. I guess I was pretty damn tired... I tried another bed time session, where I tried to reinforce my horrible visualisation skills. I actually got pretty mad at how hard it was for ne to concentrate at the beginning of the session and how un-vivid my vision was. In that session, Jake really wierded me the hell out. At first, he grew incredibly tall, somewhat humanoïd and all blurry. This only lasted onoy a few seconds and he shrunk into an adorable dark blue cat wih long ears. Once again, I was unable to revert his form so I knew it was his doing. Later on, he decided to turn into a grey rat and run about on the walls and cieling for a few moments, then went hiding behind a corner. My thoughts were exactly as follows: "WTF is this shyte!! What next, a friggin' dog?" followed by a feeling like Jake was telling me "A dog? What a good idea!". And sure enough, from behind the corner came pouncing a large-ish dog of which breed I have no clue because of my lack of dog knowledge. My tulpa is now Jake the Dog, which has absolutely nothing to do with Adventure Time. This is where my memory fades out, since I accidentally fell asleep while forcing. I heard that's a bad thing, but at least that helped me avoid mysleep problems. The session couldn't have been longer than half an hour, because I had a 30-minute relaxation track running in the background (whih helped me empty my mind of intrusive thoughts, BTW) and I'm pretty sure it wasn't over when I fell asleep.

 

TL;DR: Jake gets a little annoyed if I say his name repeatedly. In bed time session, Jake became a giand humanoïd creature, a cute cat, a rat and then a dog. I then accidentally fell asleep.

 

 

Today is day 4 and I spent most of my time writing these progress logs. I have the house to myself, so I should be able to concentrate better. I don't know exactly what I'll do, probably just interact until some progress is done, perhaps brush up some more on my visuals.

It occurred to me while writing that Jake might be a shapeshifter. Interesting. This will have to be investigated further once we can more reliably communicate together.

If you're reading this, feel free to ask any questions, make any suggestions or just tell me what you think of my progress log. I probably won't write stuff for every single day from now on, but I'll probably write down the most important bits, perhaps daily.


My progress log.

Do people actually read other people's sigs? If you are, have this free semicolon.

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I decided I'd be updating my progress log just before my bedtime session from now on, since it's the best time to actually lay down and sum up what happened during the day. Expect updates daily, or as close to it as I possibly can.

 

 

Day 4

I didn't get quite as much actual forcing as I would have liked to, but it's fine because I've been talking to Jake quite a bit (I don't like the word "narrating" so much, because it sounds like I'm telling a story which is not what I'm doing) and significant progress has been made.

Jake seems to like the idea of being a shapeshifter. Alot. In a single (~)40minute session, he changed form more times than I can count, and in a very visually stunning way almost every time. I saw him as a lion, a bumblebee, a few different kinds of dog, a falcon and even a huge whale. He also spent some time in a human form, which I think might stick as my default perception of him and may end up being his main form. I also decided to do some wonderland exploration, since I didn't know the neighborhood around my grandparent's house too well. I was curious to see what it would look like once I left tge boundaries of certainty (I say certainty, but some details remain lost in the deepest inaccessible recesses of my memory...) What I found was something kind of similar to the very little I know about the neighborhood, until we reached a forest on the other side of which was a seemingly infinite plain with long dry grass and a single lerge but boring tree, which Jake decided to set un fire, for some reason. Near the end of the session and afterwards, I managed to discuss a few things with Jake and he answered. Also, we sung "Still Alive" together, though his voice sounded pretty horrible. As of today, Jake is officially vocal. Next goal is to increase his ability to communicate, since he can't make sentences longer than a few words before his voice fades out.

 

TL;DR: Jake shapeshifted alot. We explored the wonderland and set a tree on fire. Jake is now vocal and we sung together.

 

 

It's now time for me to put on some relaxing music and go have fun with Jake.


My progress log.

Do people actually read other people's sigs? If you are, have this free semicolon.

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Day 5

As short as I can make it, since I'm pretty tired...

Last night, we managed to get Jake's human form a lot more clearly defined. He started slacking off the crazy form-switching stuff, which is nice for my concentration, but alot less exciting than continuous deviation. We explored a new part of our wonderland, but I got too tired to continue, so it's still a bit of a mystery to us until we go back and check it out.

I managed to get a pretty decent session in today, trying out Fede's tones as an alternative to the usual calm music I play in the background. One of them gave me a horrible headache, but another, more subtle one worked pretty damn well. Will be using that again in the future.

In the beginning of the session, Jake was too lazy to do anything so he just lay down on a couh and ignored me for a while. I decided to work on my wisualisation skills, but Jake decided to mess around with the world, so I was unable to concentrate on specific details. Later on, we explored a tunnel which leads to a amusement park created entirely by Jake. It wasn't very realistic, but it proved to me that my tulpa has creative control over certai areas of his world.

As the session was nearing its end, I decided to experiment a bit with possession, with results that indicate mild control over some muscles, requiring alot of mental effort. About 95% I wasn't in full control when I painfully bit my finger and tightened my jaw's grip on it every time I doubted Jake was controling parts of me. Ya know what? Make that 100%.

 

TL;DR: worked on Jake's human form. Tryed Fede's tones with some success. Jake created a section of our wonderland and messes with all of it for a small period. Managed minimal posession.

 

 

I'm too tired to force tonight. Longer session during the day kind of compensates that, I guess. I'll try aiming even longer tomorrow, or multiple sessions if I can't concentrate too long at once.


My progress log.

Do people actually read other people's sigs? If you are, have this free semicolon.

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Day 6

This was a hard day for me, tulpa-wise. I was quite tired all day and unable to concentrate much on anything because of that. No forcing was done, but I continued speaking to Jake as often as possible. I didn't hear or feel him too much, but I'm not too worried about it. I'll get a good bight's sleep and see how well I do tomorrow.


My progress log.

Do people actually read other people's sigs? If you are, have this free semicolon.

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Day 7

Today, we got a nice hour-long session session in. We basicly did just a bunch of fun stuff together, with no particular objective in mind for the most part. We wrestled around, which ended up in a bunch of houses being crushed, we discovered a huge 'closet' full of gold and treasures and actually had a swim in it. Jake also started wearing a mask, which makes visualisation of his face much easyer (because there's none to worry about).

The crazy animal-switching habit of his is now over, but he still likes an occasionnal change in certain circumstances.

In the last few minutes of the session, I told Jake he was acting quite childish, after which he promptly became a little kid. A little girl, to be more precise, and she insisted to be called Marcelline(now definitely an Adventure Time fan) and then started running around, roaring like a little monster and pretty much ignoring me for the rest of the day. I hought I'd avoid making my tulpa a female to be different, but I guess she decided otherwise.

 

I'm now realizing my memories of what happened in the wonderland are sometimes more vivid than when it actually happened. Interesting?

 

TL;DR: Had fun. Jake started wearing a mask to make his face easyer to visualise (ironicly?). Suddenly became a little girl name Marcelline, who likes to roar like a kid immitating a tiger. Lost all oriinality from having a male tulpa.


My progress log.

Do people actually read other people's sigs? If you are, have this free semicolon.

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Day 8

Well, I'm a week in now.

Yesterday night Marcelline greeted me into the wonderland by becoming an teen and trying to engage into sexual intercourse with me. That was quite unexpected abd I had to explain to her that I didn't actually want any kind of romantic/sexual relationship with my tulpa, especially since she had been a grown man until that very day and a very young girlie until two seconds beforehand, which would have made it quite a bit awkward for me. She understood and remained quiet for a bit while adjusting her formin small ways. It wasn't long afterwards that I fell asleep. (Yeah, I really should stop forcing at night laying in my bed. I never learn...)

 

Not much tulpa-related stuff has been done today. I read NED's new guide and tried a similar trick for Marcelline to remind me of her existance. It didn't work out too well, though, so the entire day was pretty much pointless, as far as tulpae go. (Actually, it was pretty much pointless except for getting some crap unstuck from my dinner table... I wish school had started)

 

I'm now off to force, perhaps for the last time at night.

 

No TL;DR today. Shocking!


My progress log.

Do people actually read other people's sigs? If you are, have this free semicolon.

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Don't slice your posts into TL;DR.

 

 

I love to hear your drivel.

 


I flatly refuse to believe the relationship between you and your tulpa has developed so far that you are willing to have sex, especially since you have only known this person for two weeks. Give it a month, at the very least; It's important your tulpa develops properly.

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