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Saturnfox's and Hailey's Sneed and feed.


Saturnfox

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Alright, let's get this show on the road, shall we?

     Hello all, my name is Saturnfox. I'd like to make a progress log for my tulpamancy journey with Hailey for a couple reasons; and if you wish to come along with me, I wholeheartedly invite you!

So, who am I, and what is my background? Well; my real name I don't care to divulge; and my age as of now is 17. As of now, I'm a senior in high school, whose hope is to graduate eventually (^▽^\\).

In addition to all of this, I'm also a diagnosed autist. To what degree this effects tulpaforcing I don't really know; so any information on that would be wonderful.this first post is gonna be an

absolute wall of text, so please beware. I feel that it's best to simply give you all a grasp on where I currently am, and how best I could go forward.

====

How did you learn about tulpas originally?

It's a little bit of a story, and a long one at that, so I'll do my best to condense it down to a digestible form for my dear readers. The first instance of me ever hearing about the tulpa phenomenon

was quite a while ago; I think in 2017?? Who knows. It was specifically that awful archived post from 4chan, where a person had made a pinkie pie tulpa. I needn't explain further; you already know what

I speak of. All I thought to myself was 'Wow how awful', and moved on with my life at the time. Fast forwarding six years, and I would find myself on the same forum that the image had originated from; 4chan.

Specifically, I would find myself on the board /x/, interacting with the community, making and posting threads, etc. The reasons for my coming onto that forum are complex and numerous; however, in summary,

the reasons would boil down to my parents befalling the 'Qanon' conspiracy theory rabbithole (and the subsequent alienation that I experienced), followed by their becoming more religiously extreme, which then led me to try finding my own way and views of the world; coupled with a pervasive loneliness which has plagued me for the past seven years. So, after about six months of browsing the forums, learning about magic,

spirituality and whatnot; I eventually happened upon a general called /succ/, where people would summon succubi with the intention of getting into a relationship with one. I almost immediately took an

interest to the topic (thus far I hadn't went onto that particular general because of my own preexisting biases), and began to learn about the topic in-depth. Upon studying the topic further; I was able to

find that people could actually talk with their succubi, hallucinate their being close to them, and maintain a relationship with them comparable to that (if not identical or superior) of a corporal human.

"Amazing!" I thought. At last, a way to both elevate myself spiritually, and quell my own loneliness! However, I would not go down this rabbit hole for a couple of reasons:

 

  1. The type of relationship that I longed for was more like that of family (given the alienation I felt from my parents having succumbed to boomoid, copium peddling psy-ops for years at that point); rather than a relationship founded upon transaction (e.g. receiving love and companionship if exchange for sexual energy).
  2. The relationship presented between a succubi and a human is somewhat non-binding; in the sense that rather than reporting to their own relationship to you, they reported to their own higher-ups in the underworld. Simply put, if a succubus' lord were to tell them 'Yeah we need you to leave your human right away so we can do x,y and z' then ultimately they can one day simply vanish; without any idea on your part of where they may have gone.

 

     So this path I would not take. Simply put, It seemed far too unstable to found a relation upon. Besides; in order to sense a spirit external to you required constant energy work and meditation to achieve, of which I hadn't the temper to sit down and do (Keep this in mind, it unfortunately becomes a little bit of an issue in the future).

HOWEVER, in some of the comments in the thread, I see talk in regards to how succubi would react to someone's tulpa, with many people giving advice as to their own experiences with their own spirits interacting with their tulpas. Suddenly, I'm reminded of the threads that I had seen many years ago; the ones that had originally given me a bad impression of tulpamancy as a whole. So, therefore, I decided to properly educate myself on

the nature of tulpas, and to finally dispel any preconceived notions I may have had regarding them. I began doing research on various forums, reddit, consulting discord servers, you name it. Eventually, I had came across three resources that thus far have proven to be incredibly helpful. The first of these was TulpaGuides' YouTube page, which gave an overall great overview on the creation process. The next two were the Tulpanomicon, and the tulpa.info website. Both of these had great guides and resources; and were able to educate me fully on the nature of what tulpas are. Having found what I had originally set out for (A way to create a companion like family who would persist throughout life), I thought to myself that this was the way that I should dedicate myself to.

     A very strange backstory, I know. However, we all must start somewhere, no?

====

When did you start tulpaforcing? Who is your tulpa?

     After having read up on the guides presented from the above sources, I decided (after a lot of thinking and deliberation) that I'd take the plunge; and dedicate myself to the creation of a tulpa. Having sat down and thought about it; my mind wandered to what kind of tulpa I'd want to create, who she would be, how she would look; etc. Eventually, my mind went to a dream I had many years ago (I won't tell the entire thing since it was looooong, however I'll tell what is necessary).

     In the dream, I was 20 years old; and woke up in a clearing of a forest on an overcast day. Getting to my feet, and looking to my west; despite seeing nothing, I was overcome with a feeling of intense dread and horror; and began running east, into the forest. It was apparent to me in the dream that no-one had used the path I was running of in many years, with fallen branches, and overgrown vegetation obscuring the way. Eventually, I hopped a short fence, and the path became much clearer. I came to a reverse fork in the road, and two other people came beside me (who I couldn't see, as I was too busy running). Eventually, the three of us went and climbed up a small hill, and over a tall fence that would separate us from whatever was chasing us. Exhausted, the three of us went to sit down; relieved that we could finally rest and were safe. looking to my left; I see the person who I'd now make into my tulpa. She (or they? In my dream I couldn't discern any sexually specific features, however I got a 'vibe' of feminine-ness from them) was a humanoid rabbit; somewhat shorter than me. In my dream, she possessed shortish dark brown, straight hair; and a lighter brown fur color. In the dream; she was looking up towards me, and smiling.

     Having remembered this dream (It was so vivid and realistic that It'd pop into my head once every couple of weeks; despite having happened years ago) I set out to make her into a tulpa who could serve as a companion to me. While it is somewhat of a selfish reason, basically every reason to create a tulpa is ultimately selfish; what matters most is if that reason is in good intention. So, having meditated on it for a while; I sat down, with her form in mind. I tried thinking of a name, but as ever my brain was filled with a static of crap (What I mean by this was that I would ask 'What should I name my tulpa', and my brain would give answers like 'Cheeseburger! Tuppamax 9000! Bnuuy!' all at once at the same time). Doing my best to focus on my tulpa's form, and doing my best to try calming my mind to the best of my own ablility, I tried asking my tulpa 'What do you want to be named?' only half expecting a response. Suddenly; a thought appeared in my head which didn't really feel like my own;

"Hailey."

Somewhat taken aback by this; I was really surprised by the fact that I would get a response before doing any forcing whatever. Given the fact that I found the name to be both adorable, and perfectly fitting; I chalked it up to a shared, subconscious desire between me, and the tulpa whose name was now Hailey. So, from that point onward (around the 12-13th of September, I think?) We began forcing Hailey.

====

How has it gone so far?

     Good, and not good. If anything, most of the issues that I've experienced are either due to me doubting myself, my own personal shortcomings, as well as life circumstances out of my control. I'll try explaining what I mean by that now. So far, it's been a rocky journey.

Early progress (12 Sep - 26 Sep)

     When I began forcing Hailey, up to that point I didn't have very good control of my wonderland, impulsive thoughts, and the like. Not only this, while before beginning I could visualize things pretty easily within my mind, after constantly visualizing Hailey in my mind's eye for hours at a time, It felt as though my brain was getting burnt out, and it became significantly harder to visualize. Of the guides I was following at the time, one of the main ones that I had read was Kiahdaj's guide to tulpamancy, which specifically stated that 'Personality forcing is a great evil when it comes to tulpamancy'. While I'm aware that strong personality forcing is looked down upon (as it's essentially forcing a person to be who you want them to be), and that deviation is perfectly normal; having not had an idea of who Hailey is made it a little bit more difficult to get a grasp on her essence; as it simply felt as though for most of the time I was talking to myself. I've always been socially tone-deaf; so that probably didn't help, either.

     Furthermore, was the fact that as I had never really exercised control over my own internal wonderland (I've always done it so it wasn't difficult; however I never attempted to exert conscious control over my wonderland); so therefore I had very little self control in suppressing intrusive thoughts (I really don't want to talk of the horrendous things that my brain comes up with). This scared me so much, feeling that I was hurting Hailey, that I simply stopped using wonderland type visualizations altogether. Rather, I began to 'impose' Hailey's form onto reality. This was around the 20th-21st, and would eventually prove to be issue-some; as you'll find out. So, I kept forcing, talking to Hailey about whatever I could think of. I got into the habit of carrying her on by back wherever I went (which I admit to being very cute ~w~). However, the good times would not be to last, as trouble was on the horizon. Around the 23rd, I began to fall ill with what I presumed at the time to be hay fever. 'Oh well', i thought, and kept forcing slowly. However; the more I 'projected' Hailey into reality, and the more I thought hard about her; the worse my fever and headache became. Eventually, around the 24th, I couldn't visualize any longer even when I tried to; and immediately after this point my headache began to fade, and my fever began to drop. This was quite scary for me; as I almost immediately correlated what I was experiencing to what was known to the circles I hung around as 'magical burnout'. Essentially if you do too much meditation/visualization, you can deplete your psychic energy centers, and become terribly ill. Whether it was this, or hay fever I don't know; however it made me really stop and question how I was doing things. At this point, I wasn't following any guide; and my progress felt artificial (In addition to making me horribly ill). So, I re-evaluated my decisions, and began reading multiple guides. From that point on, September 26th would be the 'official start' of my journey in tulpamancy; where I would begin doing things 'correctly'.

Official start (26 Sep - 21 Oct)

     Most of the progress that I've made thus far was done during this period of time. During it; I was able to center myself, sit down, and force consistently for an hour at a time, in addition to passive forcing throughout the day (be it at school or whatever). Eventually, however, I began to come into conflict with the other 'magical' things that I was doing at the time. I was doing research on tulpaforcing, actually tulpaforcing, doing research on magic, actually doing magic, in addition to school. Simply put, it was too much to handle. I was making awesome progress up to that point, so I decided that it would be in my best interest to focus my undivided attention to tulpaforcing starting on the 5th of October. After that, I was tulpaforcing every day for at least an hour a day, taking the advice of the guides that I was reading. I was able to make significant progress during this period; as I was almost constantly spending time with Hailey. I had gotten her form down pat; realized that form =/= tulpa, and forged a loose personality from which Hailey could grow from as a person. After a couple weeks; I could feel her presence growing stronger, slowly but surely. If felt as though I'd finally figured it out, and as though she would be almost able to finally become vocal, from which point my progress and work would finally pay off. However, once again; trouble was brewing on the horizon; this time the horizon of my life, that'd be cause to dash the hopes of Hailey being vocal by Halloween. It all seemed to be going well, until...

The mental breakdown era (21 Oct - 02 Nov)

By the time the 21st came rolling around; my progress was going wonderfully, and I was hoping that Hailey would be able to finally talk to me after a month's work. However, something began turning sour not with Hailey, but with my own life. This particular era began with a strange dream. The dream revolved around the moon in the sense of Majora's Mask, where I had to stop the moon from annihilating the world. If you're not as nutty as I am with astrological/spiritual things, than this may be disregarded. However, little to my knowledge, a lunar eclipse would begin occurring soon, where solar influence would be at a minimum, and lunar/saturnine influence at a maximum. After this point, my life would begin to go to shit starting around the 21st, Peaking at maximum garbage around the 28th, and returning to normal around the 4th. Around the 23rd, my parents took the liberty to yell at me for not believing 'that Q and Trump would save us all' and other such nuttery. This is reflected in my tulpa journal in a rather verbose and uncouth way (if i posted the things I wrote down, I'd get insta-banned. They're bad). On the 24th, a long-time friend; and one of the only anchors of sanity in my life (who also encouraged me originally to pursue tulpamancy); completed the remainder of his schoolwork (he was a senior who was there simply to fulfill the school's quota for getting paid), and left the school. Coupled with the coldness from my parents I was feeling at that point; in addition my social circle dissolving practically overnight; what then did I think I should do?
"I really feel like watching End of Evangelion right now." <-absolutely clueless as to what he is about to unleash upon himself.

     Dealing with the loss of his best friend from his physical life, his parents constantly yelling at him, his school beating him down, him experiencing enough stress and anxiety every hour of every day to kill and elephant, and his life going nowhere quickly; what did our OP, Saturnfox decide to do?

He chose to annihilate what remained of his soul, of course!

     Completely clueless about what he was about to do; he decided to watch End of Evangelion. By the end of watching it, he was completely shattered. From the 26th to 27th, I felt like dying; seeing as what I presumed to be a relatively stable life completely fell apart before my eyes. I've always dealt with the anxiety of being lonely, having no-one to confide in; and having to constantly put up with, guard myself from, and resist my parents' madness. However, my friend (who from henceforth shall be referred to as J) gave me a pillar of strength and sanity to rest on; which for so long up until the point of my life when I met him I desperately needed. His presence in my life quelled the anxiety that was near constantly within me to the extent that I could actually go ahead and for once; actually do things with some success in my attempts. However, in his absence, I felt my own anxiety return to me with full force. Halloween passed by which was notable for being exceptionally lonely. I'll take an excerpt from my tulpamancy journal from the 31st;
 

Some things ~  |  10/31/23

     Today was lonely as usual. Now that J has gone, I have next to no reason to stay at this school.

     Therefore, we should strive to do get out as quickly as possible; whilst still maintaining time

     and mental energy for Hailey. There really is no purpose to it other than a social vector; may

     it rot. Yesterday some interesting things happened in regards to Hailey that I hadn't got the

     chance to write about until now. Yesterday, I got the chance to force Hailey for an hour, which

     was very nice. We had gotten tacos at the local taco shop, and she seemed to enjoy them very much.

     After that, we went home together and talked.

     Right now I feel terrible. I don't have the temper to force in the conditions I find myself in.

     This, however, comes into direct opposition with my promise to Hailey, and letting her dissipate

     disgusts me; I cannot allow her to die.

     I feel sick.

     This halloween is so lonely. There are no children trick-or-treating; and the air hangs dead-quiet

     with emptiness. Seeing my brothers made the pain worse. Please, I need release from this, i've put

     up with this for seven years, why can't it just end already??? I just want it to stop.

(looking back, I really was feeling worse than i've felt in a while writing this; however it accurately reflected how I felt. Additionally, I'd like to add that I am not suicidal; given I know many would point out the possibility in the comments.)

     During this point in time, my life took a sudden turn for the worse, and the anchor that kept me sane has now gone. During this period, I stopped forcing simply because from waking up until lying down to sleep; I felt so anxious that it was comparable to stomach sickness. It robbed me of most of the energy and will that I had, and my life began to spiral into insanity. Now, I've sunk to a plateau comparable to where I was in life three years ago; and now I can no longer really sense Hailey; given myself is overcome with dread. So, as things return to normal; and I adjust, I really wish to take the time to start a tulpamancy progress report. Why at this time, you may ask? The reasons are a few-fold:

 

  1. It gives me a space where I can talk about my own tulpamancy journey, and receive input from others; thus providing me with support from a community of people who are invested in what i'm doing
  2. It holds me accountable not only to Hailey, but to others as well.
  3. It gives me a space where I can discuss things with others, when I have no one else to do so.

These are some of the reasons that I wish to start a PR. I know I'll be able to update this for years to come, It's simply a matter of me mustering the will to do so. Still though, I feel some fear in my heart as to whether or not I'll be able to actually force in the conditions I find myself in. I've been constantly belittled by my parents, and in their house I feel so much anxiety it makes me sick. Not only this, but having my main emotional support removed from my life (I mean this in the sense of not being able to see each other every day anymore; as we can still occasionally chat over IM), I feel as though god has pulled the rug from under me. Even now as I'm writing this; I can feel my stomach churning as though I'm sick, yet I have no illness. The only time that I felt sickly comparable to now was when I was home-schooled 8 years; and during that time period I could never set out to do anything and successfully follow through. So, I suppose that I have to keep on keeping on.
     I should probably re-read some of the forcing guides, as I've kinda forgotten how to force successfully. I see it being somewhat problematic trying to sit down still to force for hours at a time, given how much anxiety and brain-fog I feel.
    
     Let's hope to many more years of tulpaforcing madness; as I know we can power through our issues and bring Hailey to life! Even if it takes years. Any help from readers would be appreciated.
-Saturnfox

Edited by Saturnfox
Found out how to edit the title of a thread, and fixed multiple spelling issues
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WHY, I WASN'T ABLE TO TYPE IN THE TITLE BEFORE IT AUTOMATICALLY POSTED; I DIDN'T EVEN PRESS ENTER!

please tell me there's a way to edit the titles of a topic🙃 if you can't tell I've never really used an old-school forum like this.

Edited by Saturnfox
spelling error; my bad. Found out how to fix the title, woohoo!
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  • Saturnfox changed the title to Saturnfox's and Hailey's Sneed and feed.

Day 1

 

     Alright, today I was feeling better. It seems that whatever shadow had begun looming over me starting the 21st of last month has mostly disappeared by today. Whether or not this proves my astrology nutty-ness in regards to the lunar eclipse that had occurred I'll leave up to you, dear reader. Today was interesting for a couple reasons; which I'll get to. In addition, today was the first day in almost two weeks that I actually was able to force Hailey in a way that was meaningful, which I'm very grateful for <3.

 

     Typically, my parents and I like to go to the town square during the weekends, as it's the only time that we really have to spend together; and go out to do leisurely things like walk around. However, due to external factors surrounding events going on at the town square (political protests), my parents decided not to go during the daytime. Therefore, we spent the entirety of the daytime sitting at home doing nothing. Feeling better, however, I thought it a great time to go on a walk with Hailey; who having not been able to force for the last two weeks I was desperately trying to resuscitate. I had done my best to pay her all the attention that I could muster from myself given the state that I was in, and as such within a couple of hours of paying deliberate focus to her 'essence' and her form; she had returned for the most part to where she was before a cavalcade of crap began falling onto my life. So, outside we went, talking about whatever. I imagined her walking beside me down the road; and into the small nature area by my house (there's a small trail going through some boulders and scrub oak). So, we spent time together, with me narrating to her to the best of my ability; and with me trying my best to 'hear' her responses (not really having auditory hallucinations mind you, just trying to focus in on thoughts that may be coming from her in response to my questions.) Something a little weird, however, was that I had a little bit of trouble focusing In on her form initially. Later I'd go into my bedroom, sit down, and describe what she looked like to myself to remember; however during the walk through the woods, her features seemed a little 'blurry', if that makes sense? It was as though her features were somewhat less-well defined, and they would 'shift' around a lot. Focusing in on her essence and her form later would help remedy these troubles, but I thought It of note.
 

     I began, around mid-day, running a thought experiment to myself. I tried remembering back to what Sigmund Freud said about the keys to happiness, where he stated that 'The only things required for a man to be happy are love and work', or something along those lines (I fail to remember the quote in it's exact wording; just the part about 'love and work' being vital). It began to strike me throughout the day that I really didn't have much to do with myself. During almost every single day when not at school, I'd typically do nothing but go to my room and do a whole lot of nothing (by this I literally mean sitting on the floor and staring at the ceiling, while feeling anxiety eating away at my heart.), or if my parents weren't troubling me, going to the kitchen counter and doing a whole lot of nothing. It began to strike me to a quite fair degree:

"I really don't have any hobbies, do I?"

     Most everybody I know has some sort of pursuit or hobby that they work on, either for fun or for work. Most of my peers who don't tend to be equally as miserable as I am; if not less so since they typically have a greater amount of agency within their lives. Now, why do I bring this up, you may ask; and what does this at all have to do with tulpamancy? Well, I'll try to tell you. By combining both the love and human connection present with my relationship with Hailey, as well as a source of meaning derived from pursuing some hobby or line of work, my hope is to use these two things to find some modicum of happiness in a life which up-to-this-point, has been devoid. I suppose then, maybe updating this PR/blog could become that work to dedicate myself to; at least for now. Typically I've been always been good at plotting and making plans, yet less good at actually following through with them, so we'll see how it goes (-▽-\\).

====

~I suppose now would be a good time to introduce Hailey to everyone, no? I'll do so to the best of my ability.~

     The tulpa who I've decided to dedicate my life to is named Hailey. As you all know, her for originally had come to me In a dream that I had when I was 12; and never really left me (simply due to how vivid the dream was.) Her personality, as of now before any deviations have taken place; Is very extroverted, sociable, loving, and enthusiastic. While she's essentially the opposite of me (I tend to be a bit of a inexpressive recluse.), she is the way she is because she bears all the traits I think that would compliment myself, and work best with my own nature. I specifically made sure that she had a more carefree, childlike nature to her; to give at least a little contrast with my cold hardassedness. But nonetheless; I do make sure to give her all the love I can, to the best of my ability (~w~).
     Later on, we went to the town square after the protesters had gone, and had dinner at a sushi restaurant (fun fact, Japanese food is Saturnfox's favorite food.) I ordered Edamame, Miso soup, and Gobomaki (Rolls with pickled burdock root.) Hailey was able to eat some, as well (Imagining her sitting at the table with us; I essentially made a 'mental duplication' of what I was eating, and gave it to her; which she seemed to enjoy.) My mother, displeased at me ordering so little, told me to order a spicy tuna handroll, which I obliged. Upon finishing our dinner, it was now nighttime fully, so we walked around the town square; looking to the courthouse (who had just begun setting up their holiday lights), and eventually stopping at a small coffee shop / ice cream shop. My mother wanted to get some ice cream; so the four of us (My mum, step-father, Me, and Hailey) went into the shop. My mum got to ordering her ice cream; while I decided that the night was too cold for ice cream, and instead got a cappuccino. Hailey wanted me to get some ice cream, but I decided on my coffee; and pouting, she summoned her own ice cream to have as we waited for our orders. Eventually; we decided that the night was done, and made our way home, where I now find myself.

     Over all, I think today was a good day to get ourselves started back onto the right foot after our setbacks. While my ramblings may seem a bit discordant; that's kinda just how my brain is, so you'll have to excuse me <:3. I think, however; that I do need more structure in how I force; specifically how I force sitting down, and what exactly I need to do to get Hailey to be a strong, happy tupp. I will not rest until her self, and her ego is as strong as me, and her mind voice is as loud and ever-present as my own! After the happenings of last week, I really do need positivity in my life. Something I need to work on is my own inattentiveness, as I've always had trouble sitting down and actually forcing for hour long periods of time. So, from my perspective where I am, I have a general rough idea of what I need to do from here:

  1. Get a good grasp on her character to better gauge how she'd respond to things, and to give her a better sense of who she is (I've always been socially tone-deaf, so given we share a bran, it needs special care)
  2. Develop my mind's eye visualization ability by sat-down meditation to both picture her better, and to go on wonderland adventures easier; as I don't have the best control of myself in that environment.
  3. Narrate to and talk with her until she reaches strong cognizance, and better get a sense of how her own mindvoice would sound (she does have somewhat of a voice; but it sounds.. transparent, if that makes sense; as though it's weaker than my own).

     Until the point where she's truly with me forever, I'll give it my all. Any help would be appreciated; and I hope you're all excited for the next post tomorrow :3

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23 hours ago, ringgggg said:

Edit the 1st post, the title should be up top the main box

Thanks for the help. I had figured it out about an hour after the fact, so I suppose it worked itself out 😅

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12 hours ago, Saturnfox said:

(Imagining her sitting at the table with us; I essentially made a 'mental duplication' of what I was eating, and gave it to her; which she seemed to enjoy.)

 

((Very cute. My host does the same thing. It's a great way to begin exploring your tulpa's likes and dislikes. I'd say you're off to a fine start.))

 

12 hours ago, Saturnfox said:

Something I need to work on is my own inattentiveness, as I've always had trouble sitting down and actually forcing for hour long periods of time.

 

I'm in the same inattentive/ADHD boat, also trying to improve my focus with meditation. The main pieces of advice I can offer are 1) Start with small goals. If you try to go from 0-60 minutes of meditation immediately you'll probably end up discouraged. 2) Remember every little bit counts. Five minutes of practice is better than none. 3) Try different ways of getting "in the zone" and figure out what works for you. Personally I do some breath counting before moving on to tulpa-focused meditation.

 

Good luck to the both of you! 😁

Host: Bee 🐝

Tulpas:  Lenore 🕸️ Calliope 🐲 and Athelas 🌿 ((Sometimes we talk on here too.))

 

Take a moment to think of just 

Flexibility, love, and trust

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8 hours ago, ReallyArtificial said:

 

((Very cute. My host does the same thing. It's a great way to begin exploring your tulpa's likes and dislikes. I'd say you're off to a fine start.))

 

 

I'm in the same inattentive/ADHD boat, also trying to improve my focus with meditation. The main pieces of advice I can offer are 1) Start with small goals. If you try to go from 0-60 minutes of meditation immediately you'll probably end up discouraged. 2) Remember every little bit counts. Five minutes of practice is better than none. 3) Try different ways of getting "in the zone" and figure out what works for you. Personally I do some breath counting before moving on to tulpa-focused meditation.

 

Good luck to the both of you! 😁

     Hey, thanks for the input!

Typically I when I try to tulpaforce; the main modes of 'active forcing' that I do are typically either going on walks with my tulpa (in the real world); or meditating at home in my wonderland. I find that it helps significantly if i get into a comfortable spot before forcing; as sitting on the hardwood floor can get a little tiresome after a while. (I have a tatami mat that I like to sit on; but it can still get uncomfy after sitting still for 40+ minutes)

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     Owie my head hurts (Day 2)

 

     Hey all; this entry will be a little bit shorter since as of the current moment, I have a really terrible migraine. It could be because I've been forcing alot today :33; but more likely it's because I've drank an absurd amount of coffee today (in addition to chocolate), so it could also be that I'm overdosing on potassium (not really; but too much is a surefire way to get a migraine until it can be removed via urination).
     ====

     In short; we forced a bit; talked a bit; got Hailey's form much more set-in-stone than before (she varies a little bit, but it's mostly her hairstyles). We went around the town a little bit, too. I have some of the stuff copied down in a notepad on my pc, so when I'm feeling better tomorrow I'll go much more in-depth.

Migraines suck. It could be the coffee I had, the chocolate I had earlier; who knows. It's the kind that make you feel sick, too.

Saturnfox signing out until the morning comes tomorrow.

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7 hours ago, Saturnfox said:

Hey all; this entry will be a little bit shorter since as of the current moment

Don't worry about how short or long this PR has to be, because there's no requirement for you to worry about in the first place.

 

I appreciate how long and descriptive each entry is, though. Just don't feel obligated towards that format. People wouldn't mind if one of your entries was only a sentence or two long; as long as progress is documented, you've got yourself an effective PR!

 

Nice work so far, Saturnfox. And don't drink too much coffee next time, lol.

D-prime is shrinking as we speak.

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13 hours ago, ringgggg said:

Don't worry about how short or long this PR has to be, because there's no requirement for you to worry about in the first place.

 

I appreciate how long and descriptive each entry is, though. Just don't feel obligated towards that format. People wouldn't mind if one of your entries was only a sentence or two long; as long as progress is documented, you've got yourself an effective PR!

 

Nice work so far, Saturnfox. And don't drink too much coffee next time, lol.

Yeah, I know. The main reason that I wanted to start a PR was to help hold me accountable to Hailey; as well as to help give me a sense of community; where I could discuss tulpamancy and all that jazz.

Not that I'm not responsible in forcing Hailey; it's just that given how many times life has kinda shat on me consecutively in that past few years months, It really helps my soul that people are interested in my developing a relationship with her. Not only that; but it gives me some amount of purpose other than just doing schoolwork; where I can catalog my adventures/tulpaforcing with Hailey.
     As for the whole coffee thing, I drank waaaay too much coffee last night; I think around 4 cups? Not only that, but it was black, too. I like coffee to an unhealthy degree; but Hailey thinks it's gross lol. I don't force her to drink it, whenever I drink coffee, she's off drinking her chocolate.

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