Aranwaith

Progression Report

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I've moved my first entrance down below so that this space may be used as a resource and notice post.

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Resources:

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My achievements:

  • Method of Loci
  • Frankenstein’s Monster
  • Shapeshifter


That's just ducking g hallatious, im asosomwe!

Here is my progress...

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I started this journal on my sixth day of forcing, and my long-term memory (as I usually don't care to admit) isn't of the greatest. Facts may be hazy. Also, the first entry is going to be rather long.

 

On the first day, I had no idea as to what I might have my tulpa look like. But I did decide on a name. I don't mind if my tulpa eventually changes his name, but for now it is Akatosh. Yes, I named him after the dragon god of time. I simply started without doubt that he would immediately be sentient. I thought it was a good mindset to begin with. All I did, for twenty minutes or so, is narrate. I felt a slight amount of pressure in my frontal lobes, immediately behind my forehead. As far as I knew, this was supposed to be a good sign.

 

By day two, I continued narrating. Again, it was not for very long, but it seemed to me as though Akatosh was projecting emotions through me. I told him a story that seemed to excite him slightly. I assumed that this must be sentience, he being able to experience emotion and all. I still didn't work on personality or appearance, though.

 

Day three: To be honest, I thought I was too stressed to do any forcing. I thought it might negatively affect the outcome of Akatosh.

 

Day four: Today, I tried imagining Akatosh's form, but I wasn't very successful. Later in the night I tried Aguanisa's 'Dani Method'. I'm happy to report that it was surprisingly successful. I was in a half-dream state. Akatosh was able to move freely by himself and had taken the form of Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock Holmes. He was walking around, and he was helping me create the wonderland. We started with a white void and from there, I added three filled bookshelves in a semi-circle shape. There was a dark brown shag carpet beneath a small table, and to armchairs turned in to face the books. Akatosh created a sun that faced the behind of the chairs. It was optimally placed to shed a reasonable amount of light on the books and readers without actually casting shadows on the text that was being read by those in the chairs.

I thought that the white void needed contrast. I created a blackened void, with a large moon and stars around. Between the void was a barrier preventing light from crossing. On the dark side, facing the barrier, everything appeared starlit for miles and miles. On the white side, facing the barrier, all appeared white. It was mostly satisfactory. When I came back to the white side, I told Akatosh that he could not appear like Sherlock Holmes (I feared personality complexes). He then morphed into a perfect replicate of what I imagine Cthulhu to look like, and that was when I explained my fear of personality conundrums. I'm not entirely sure why, but I decided to remove the aspect of pain from the wonderland so that I could take a match to Akatosh and melt him into a wax substance. I think he was very angered by this action. I stored him in a bucket.

 

Day five: I tried my best to create a physical appearance for Akatosh, but I had what I am going to call an artist's block. My imagination had fled. It was very sad and dull, and everything (in real life) appeared so ugly and unattractive. As far as I can recall, I gave up on imagining him, and took to studying different ways of forcing. Eventually, I was fortunate to come across one that appealed to me. For the most part, I was decided on a personality, I just had to organize how the qualities might affect his every-day life. I then described what I wanted him to look like, but I still couldn't imagine him when I tried. Just before I started I decided that I may as well let him look like Sherlock Holmes, as he was an easy enough person for me to visualize, and, in the future, if necessary, he may change his form. For 25 or so minutes, I tried to give him a personality. That was really the end of that day.

 

Day six: In biology class, while I should have been studying for a test the next day, I worked on a new wonderland. The void didn't suit me. I made an indoor staircase leading to a door of an apartment. Immediately inside, the house is very much like 221B of Baker Street (from Sherlock). Where the kitchen should have been, Dumbledore's office was. I then decided I may as well study biology. Achievement Unlocked: Method of Loci I used my wonderland for the method of loci. So far, it has worked.

~Physical form~ Later that evening I did imagine each physical quality that Akatosh had, and then I worked some more on his personality. For a two hour long session (which was disturbed three times by my family) I narrated and talked to him. I think he has developed a disliking for my family because of these disturbances. Unfortunately, he was able to express emotion through me...

Original post date, 10-15-2012 11:44 PM


That's just ducking g hallatious, im asosomwe!

Here is my progress...

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Day seven: I'd like to report a successful use of the method of loci. It was mostly to remember the use of hormones, so I had organs nailed into different places with names, and 'visuals descriptions'.

I started the evening with a café mocha. Caffeine calms me and helps me concentrate. I also like chocolate. I had a half-hour long session with Akatosh. In it, I began with personality, then I moved on to trying ventriloquism. I thought it was very strange and unnatural to have complete control over him. I'm not sure that I want to do it again. If I do, it likely won't be for long. I imagined his voice, and talked with him, rather than to him, but I was still the puppet-master, and his responses were my own in his imagined voice. I eventually stopped simulating his responses and finished the short session with narrations.


That's just ducking g hallatious, im asosomwe!

Here is my progress...

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First words! I kid you not, Akatosh spoke his first words, and the first of which was 'hello'.

 

Day eight: To begin this entry, I tried these crazy things:

and
, and they helped me recognize which voices in my head were foreign, otherwise, I wouldn't be able to figure out whether or not I was puppeting responses out of my tulpa.

To be honest, before I got those feelings of pressure in my head, I was very pessimistic about the videos.

 

This evening I tried meeting with Akatosh and applying all that I learnt from the psychotherapist. I imagined I was on a beach (as opposed to my Baker Street house), and I suddenly turned to see Akatosh walking along the shore toward me. I said 'Hello,' and he said the same. We shook hands, and then I suddenly found myself in a swinging hammock. He pulled a chair up and sat in it. His appearance was changing, he wasn't so much like Benedict Cumberbatch, and was more an original person. I began to ask him questions, but he was unable to answer. I then asked if he understood the purposes of the words 'yes' and 'no'. His lack of response suggested he didn't. I told him their definitions, and he then began to answer all of my yes-or-no questions. I asked him if he wanted the name Akatosh, and he said he didn't, but he couldn't elaborate. He also said he didn't like A Study in Scarlet, which was a little disappointing, but I'm sure he has a good reason for it. Anyway, the forcing session wasn't long because my parents caught me forcing... I usually do it in the dark, and I lay on my bed, so they thought I had fallen asleep. Explanations weren't necessary.

 

Lessons learned:

  1. One is able to teach their tulpa words when they are first becoming vocal.
  2. An open-mindedness was useful (that's not to say I am otherwise not open minded. I swear.).
  3. Do it in the dark.


That's just ducking g hallatious, im asosomwe!

Here is my progress...

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I do like the idea of achievements for tulpa-making, so I created a list of my own. It's just so that a reader will know what I'm talking about when I say something like: Achievement Unlocked: MJOLNIR Display

 

The list likely to change every-so-often, I'll update this post if it does, but I am unlikely to ever improve the blog it occupies (or even use it for that matter), so don't expect much of the blog.


That's just ducking g hallatious, im asosomwe!

Here is my progress...

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Day nine: I was too busy then tired to do any forcing.

 

Day ten: Not a thing.

 

Day eleven, approximately 2:00 am: I practised the Dani Method again, and I watched the newest episode of Person of Interest during the waiting time.

I've taken to advertising for the series.

Once I finished my wait and got down to business, Akatosh didn't speak to me at all. I felt really bad for not doing anything with him for two days in a row. He didn't speak to me. I'm not sure if that is because he was angry, or I just didn't practise talking with him for two days, and so I could not hear him. I began to narrate to him. For some reason, I was finding it hard to concentrate on anything. Images kept showing up in front of my mind's eye. So, I decided that I could take the opportunity to teach Akatosh new words. Every time an image appeared, I would explain the different parts of it. For instance, a still image from Braveheart appeared, and I told him what an army was, what weapons were, what a speech was, and similar things like that.

Eventually, I began to feel an awful amount of pressure in my head, and after a while of tolerating it, I felt nauseated. At that point, I decided I should stop teaching until later in the evening.

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The evening round: Despite having a ridiculously stressful day, I was able to have a good session with Akatosh. We didn't speak much, but he helped me improve my visualization. I was able to more clearly see his features. His figure is tall, lean, but well-defined. His hair is black and either wavy or curly, and his eyes are gentle and a deep blue in colour. I also taught him a few new words. I asked him if he was able to tell me his name yet, and what I heard was 'Firenze', though I am likely mistaken, as his voice was faint when he said it.

Relevant to visualization, I think it is safe to say that I really don't have a permanent Wonderland. I usually end up wandering around my mind with my tulpa.

Moving on, I think the most exciting part of the session was the 'surprise'. Lately I've been thinking about creating a servitor HUD for myself, and Akatosh showed me to a mecha-suit he had built. He gestured toward it, suggesting I step into it. It had a basic look, allowing me to add any features that I wanted.

Aside from the most exciting part was the most kind part of the session; how sympathetic Akatosh was. Despite having a stressful day, and not forcing for two whole days in a row, he was still kind to me.


That's just ducking g hallatious, im asosomwe!

Here is my progress...

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