Forcing My Log of Mancing a (Many?) Tulpa(e?) (MLM(M?)T(e?)) (of JohnnyRevolver)

[JohnnyRevolver]

I will at some point in the near future try to force a tulpa, this will document that, for now it's just some stuff, I am very anxious about not being maximally informed before I do something so this might get indefinitely postponed

 

I have read about "imposition" and "visualizing" and I have done these things before with no practice because evidently I am a tulpamancy prodigy and will be spoken of for years to come, or I have what people sometimes call an active imagination, in recent times this has followed the trend of my mind turning into TV static (this may be from that diet induced ADHD I have read about on this forum, I have a notoriously poor diet but I do not change, in both diet and body shape) so I can still visualize and impose (the latter I have been working on more because I am touch-starved) somewhat well it can just be a little fuzzy at times and the channel changes on its own intermittently, but I can still do it well. Imposition is definitely the weaker of the two but that's probably because I haven't been doing it for most of my life and if (when!) I finally decide to mance a tulpa it may help to have a second mind on the job. Finally onto the actual list of traits I want in my tulpa, to be expanded of course, in a later post.

• Wise, I already kinda knew I wanted this but it was solidified when TurboSimmie commented on it
• I don't know how to phrase this without it sounding a little strange but I would like the tulpa body that is fashioned to be at least somewhat pleasant to look at, I am horrid at most things relating to faces so I hope that the tulpa can fill that gap for me
• I am really bad at personality trait stuff, very unfortunate, I can probably get it straight in my head after a couple pondering sessions, so I'd like them to be good at the stuff that I'm bad at
• I know I was told not to do this but a little insanity goes a long way to complement an already sufficient personality, and it will make them more interesting to talk to, which cannot hurt (I can think of one or two ways that it can actually)
• better memory than me, this isn't asking for much, I assure you

I'll get more stuff down later, but for now I need to sleep, assuming I didn't forget something in which case I will add an addendum to this post lest it keep me awake all night

[Athelas]

11 hours ago, JohnnyRevolver said:

I am very anxious about not being maximally informed before I do something

 

Worried you'll do something wrong? I assure you that's very difficult. As long as you treat your tulpa with love and respect, and give them the freedom to grow, you'll do fine.

 

11 hours ago, JohnnyRevolver said:

I don't know how to phrase this without it sounding a little strange but I would like the tulpa body that is fashioned to be at least somewhat pleasant to look at

 

Not strange at all. Think about it this way: the more you like your tulpa's appearance, the more intrinsically motivated you will be to think about them. You can give them any appearance you'd like. Remember, the key is that you allow them to change if and when they choose.

 

11 hours ago, JohnnyRevolver said:

a little insanity goes a long way to complement an already sufficient personality, and it will make them more interesting to talk to

 

I think I understand what you're looking for, but you will be more successful if you reframe how you're thinking about this. It sounds like you want a companion who is spontaneous, energetic, and/or creative. If you just mean you want them to occasionally surprise you, most any tulpa will do that. Sane or otherwise ;)

 

11 hours ago, JohnnyRevolver said:

better memory than me,

 

In our experience, if the brain has faulty memory, then anyone using it will too. Talking to each other can help keep thoughts in your working memory longer to an extent.

[JohnnyRevolver]

4 hours ago, Athelas said:

Worried you'll do something wrong? I assure you that's very difficult. As long as you treat your tulpa with love and respect, and give them the freedom to grow, you'll do fine.

I am incredibly worried that I'll do something wrong, I have found that at times there are unspoken rules that people don't mention because they assume that you've already heard of it or it's just implied that you should follow that rule even though it's never explicitly mentioned, sometimes it makes sense sometimes it does not, it's really a roulette.

4 hours ago, Athelas said:

I think I understand what you're looking for, but you will be more successful if you reframe how you're thinking about this. It sounds like you want a companion who is spontaneous, energetic, and/or creative. If you just mean you want them to occasionally surprise you, most any tulpa will do that. Sane or otherwise ;)

If I keep the frame at insane but just change what insane means I can keep using the word and mean what you have described, because I do not know the word for that and insane encompasses it to some degree I feel.

4 hours ago, Athelas said:

In our experience, if the brain has faulty memory, then anyone using it will too.

Darn, then by this logic would that mean that if I'm left handed that they would also necessarily be left handed?

[Athelas]

3 hours ago, JohnnyRevolver said:

I have found that at times there are unspoken rules that people don't mention because they assume that you've already heard of it or it's just implied that you should follow that rule even though it's never explicitly mentioned

 

You're right, there's an overwhelming volume of often contradictory advice out there. If you have any specific questions, I or my host would be happy to help. And there are many others here far more knowledgeable than us.

 

3 hours ago, JohnnyRevolver said:

If I keep the frame at insane but just change what insane means I can keep using the word and mean what you have described, because I do not know the word for that and insane encompasses it to some degree I feel.

 

That's fair. The intent is more important than the label.

 

4 hours ago, JohnnyRevolver said:

Darn, then by this logic would that mean that if I'm left handed that they would also necessarily be left handed?

 

I want to emphasize that I'm only sharing personal experience, not laying out rules. Both my host and I are right handed, but it's always possible that your experience could be different. This entire process is highly personal.

[JohnnyRevolver]

Okay okay, all very good, myes

 

So just to make sure that I've got the general procedure for forcing down because I just watched "Leave the World Behind" and it was really good and I can't think of anything better to meditate on than a great movie I just watched

 

I should keep in mind the personality traits that I wish for the would be tulpa, and then talk to it (in my head) (call that "narrating" I think) and try to imagine what the tulpa's response would be, and try to associate the visual bit of the tulpa whilst "narrating". Repeat from one day to five months (those are the ranges I have read about thus far) and then once the tulpa is sentient talk to it regularly to prevent it from tulpa-death

 

assuming that I have gotten everything mostly right here and someone corroborates it I shall soon post my list of personality traits and such and then sit down on the floor or lay in bed (whichever seems more appealing to me) and start actively forcing!

[JohnnyRevolver]

Seeing no objections I shall soon begin actively forcing, this will be the reference for myself so I will try to keep digressions to a minimum

 

BASIC PERCEPTION STUFF

• THE PROFESSOR OAK QUESTION: After some dialogue with myself I have decided on female, going androgynous would give the tulpa some agency but I have decided against that for some reason but I must remain consistent
• HOW THEY LOOK: Ultimately this will be up to the tulpa but having a good base will not hurt, so for a base I will be going with a human female with a darker complexion

PERSONALITY

This is the real meat of what's difficult

 

• WISE: Not like in the sense that they only speak in sage wisdom and riddles or something, but that they would inform me if they think that something I'm about to do is stupid and maybe sometime help set me on the right path
• INSANE: In the definition that @Athelas help set, not in the sense where if they see 2 black cats in a day they start raving about the end of the world, this is also a fairly broad definition as I have set it
• PLEASANT: This maybe contradicts what goes above but I just say this in the sense that I don't want them to be dropping verbal bombs in my head or start trying to convince me that the DPRK is a great place to live actually because they think it's funny, so I'll say that it doesn't contradict because this is my log and my words and both of those work how I desire them to, so not a sociopath or something is what I'm trying to say here
• OVERALL QUITE JOYFUL:I would like my tulpa to not be depressive or rage-y all the time, and I'm sure that they would too

That's all I'm going to write here because according to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, the rest seems to be primarily self determined, and I'm not going to determine for my tulpa what their motivations and interests are, that seems a little cruel

 

[JohnnyRevolver]

I am extremely anxious about doing this for some reason, I know that giving lots of little updates is annoying but, also for unknown reasons, I feel like posting this

[JohnnyRevolver]

I am really bad about doing this and I need to get meditating but I have one final question and also statement that will happen before to justify the question

 

I am really bad at imagining dialogue, exceptionally bad and I can only really do it if I have heard the person speak extensively, when I said that I liked writing in my intro I meant worldbuilding. So if I just spout stuff at the tulpa while keeping personality traits in mind will that work? has it worked well in the past? I'll do it for tonight because I really need to get forcing right now

[Flandre]

It's the act of holding the sense of your tulpa as another person present in your mind that helps your brain start actually doing that. So theoretically any activity where you can fully focus on them in that way is fine, but in practice some really don't work as well as others because it's impractical to be fully focused on them at the same time. Talking to a brick wall for 10 minutes and then saying "and that was at my tulpa" won't do anything, but reading a book and stopping every page or half or so to focus on them could, though it would still probably be harder than just talking directly to them and intending for them to be listening and responding if they can. Personal preference decides what activities do or don't click for you, but the essential universal one is just talking to them/with them in mind, with an emphasis that you must be focusing on their sense of being-a-separate-person-in-your-head for it. With that in mind, the activity or what you're saying don't matter as much - you could talk directly at them and maybe get no responses for a while, or you could just think to yourself but feeling like they are present and listening (and eventually trying to respond), or if as I said something like reading to them and taking moments to focus on them feels better to you, that also works, and so on. 

 

Helps more for autonomy and sense of presence than vocality, but the same applies for interacting with them in visualization (preferably a static place you'll most frequently interact with them in, that's then called a "wonderland"), and it can often be easier for a young tulpa to move on their own in the wonderland than to talk, so that can be a good stepping stone.

 

Putting out there for knowledge's sake that there is a clear difference to us between just randomly visualizing our systemmates doing or saying whatever, versus actually wonderlanding or talking with them. Can't explain how or such of course, just that the intent and their sense of presence need to be there for it to really be them vs just imagination. I'm not sure how or even if this sense is present when first beginning, so maybe don't worry about it too much, but you also could. I'd think that getting too carried away in just daydreaming with them as a "character" might be closer to that "imagination" vs focusing on them and having them actually be present, but again I'm not entirely sure if that sense/feeling is even there yet when first starting out, so if not, don't worry about it

Edited December 30, 2023 by Flandre

[2serpents]

I came around of my own accord without following any guide so make of that what you will but it seems to me you're worried too much over how things should be based on guides than how they truly are for you. Guides are all coming from a person's opinion. We're all trying to describe deep, mysterious, and often wordless things with limited understanding and vocabulary. That is to say, the intent is more important than the certain mechanics. What you need is immersion, however you can achieve it. 

 

Maybe some people are really good at mental voices and a person's voice is highly suggestive to them, in their case choosing a voice to focus on brings the whole experience to life. But if you think

11 hours ago, JohnnyRevolver said:

I am really bad at imagining dialogue, exceptionally bad and I can only really do it if I have heard the person speak extensively

then choosing a voice is not a helpful way to immerse yourself, it's a harmful distraction because you'll spend more time thinking how bad you are at voices than actually opening up to the experience.

 

My host is not good with voices either, she did not ever have an "internal monologue" herself and if she or I tries to concentrate too much on what my voice would "really" sound like I'll just change accents mid-sentence (I don't mind, it is funny).