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Suddenly feel like I did everything wrong


Guest Exiled Eagle

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Guest Exiled Eagle

I felt good about my tulpa for the first 4-5 days, but this morning I woke up and everything just felt wrong. Like all my progress just came crashing down. I'm getting scared that I created a servitor, but at the same time I feel like she's not happy with anything. Her name, her form, or the wonderland. I wish I could figure out what's wrong but I just... I don't know. I'm very confused and scared. I can't figure out if she's trying to communicate with me somehow, but I don't know what's wrong. I just feel like that there's a major problem and I'm not doing anything to fix it. Personality keeps coming to mind. Maybe that's where I screwed up.

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okay. I can promise you.

 

you have a tulpa. not a servitor. you have given way too much attention and love for that to even be possible.

 

it only been 4 days. you have done nothing wrong. during these early days. believeing in your Tulpa is the single most important thing you can do right now

 

Edit: your tulpa will choose her own name. she will choose her own form. and she can change the wonderland to whatever she desire. Nothing is set in stone, your tulpa can change anything as long as you let her/him

 

and wait abit longer and you will find the other members of the forums, helping you out. its Normal to be worried at times. we are here for you!

pix: Link

Diary: http://ponystasha.tumblr.com

Koomer.

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Guest Fillyfooler

During our early days I had to same problems as you. When I was creating her personality I thought of her more of a form than a tupla. Because of this I hurt her. This made her have mood swings and it was difficult to play with her. She almost left me... But I didn't let this stop us. We were both able to get over it eventually. So don't worry you are doing a good job. Just keep playing with her and she/he should forgive you... Eventually.

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I think something that is not just true for tulpa forcing but everything in life is progress isn't always a steady increase. Some days you'll feel like you've taken a step back and some days you'll feel like you've taken three steps forward.

 

It can be tough to get through the "one step back" days even when you know what they are. But I wouldn't start worrying unless it starts to persist.

Witty signatures are hard to think of.

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dont worry.

Also, welcome to the forums.

 

First days are hard because you dont get any responses, although im still making my own and tamitha is just a month old i believe i can safely say, believe in your tulpa :3 give it lotsa love and attention and im sure he/she/it will turn out alright.

Name - Tamitha

Form - Lyra, (has super sayian lyra alt)

Stage - imposition.

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During my time around the forum (which isn't that long), I seems to stumble upon those who have this kind of trouble everyone in a while. Having doubts or the feeling "I did it wrong" during early phase.

 

Guess what? They all got through it. I'm sure you would.

 

Also, I also had that problem during the first 4-5 days just like you. I decided to kinda "revamped" Chloe by repeating all the process again. It seems to work and she's being all cuddly right now. Not sure if you should do what i did but it's up to you to decide.

Chloe - That cheerful girl with ponytail.

Aigis - The male cyborg that looks like raiden in MGR.

Vixen - Half dragon female who looks like Mary in DMC3 when in human form.

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Guest Exiled Eagle

I'm a bit better now, thanks guys. But now I'm always worried about her. I guess I'm just.... frustrated at myself for not making better progress and not being able to understand her. At all. I just know when she's there which is pretty much all the time.

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Even if you create a servitor, you can always turn it into a tulpa. Also I agree with what Kindofajerk said. Some days you'll feel like you're moving backwards, but don't let it bother you too much.

“There is not enough love and goodness in the world to permit giving any of it away to imaginary beings.”

 

-Friedrich Nietzsche

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What everyone else said.

 

 

I have no idea what everyone else said, I kinda just skimmed. Hi, I'm Frosty. I do that.

 

 

Anyway... doubts, anxiety, etc. are pretty common early on. Pretty much everything you described happened to me (and probably others, from what I read while skimming) in the beginning of the process. Worries about whether or not what you're doing is right, things feeling like they're not going right or just plain feeling like you dun fucked up are all pretty common. Stop worrying and press on.

 

 

If after awhile it still just does not feel right, then you could try some other methods of forcing, visualizing or communication til you find something that feels right to you.

 

 

But don't worry so much. Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.

 

 

 

Literary gold

 

Tulpa's name: April

Form: Human female

Working on: Stuff

My Progress Log

 

"A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind." ~ Robert Oxton Bolton

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No matter what you do, even if you do screw up big time, your tulpa will know that above all else--You cared this much to do anything for her. She will be fine. Wait til she is able to communicate more consistently with you. At that point, let her know she's absolutely free to change anything about herself that she wants to. She won't be 'stuck' in the body you gave her, and she can deviate any time she wants to.

 

It's a difficult process, and every tulpaforcer ends up doing something they seriously regret at some time or another. But these tulpae are pretty darn tough and pretty darn forgiving. They know we mean well.

 

And like stated before, even if you had a servitor somehow, that's literally one step away from becoming a tulpa.

 

Just relax and enjoy the journey. Bumps are going to happen along the way, but in the end, it should all work out.

 

 

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