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The R.A.N.T. (Really Awesome New Thread)


VforVendetta

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So, I basically just created a blog for my tulpa's progress, and my progress with her, and as you will find out, them. I will probably not update very often, but when I do, I will be certain to post it here.

 

Tell me what you think!!!

Comments are always appreciated!

 

(The post is WAY too big to fit in a thread, so I'm just gonna give you the link)

 

READ IT HERE:

Ermahgerd Ver fer Vernderterr

 

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My eyes hurt...

Sorry, there´s no way i´ll be able to read that.

De bedste og smukkeste ting i verden kan hverken ses eller røres, de må opleves med hjertet.

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Updated the blog, colors should be easier to read, etc... start with the first post, near the bottom, 10/26/12, if you haven't read any of it yet. (Implying you read these posts at all)

Ermahgerd Ver fer Vernderterr

 

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I'm going to start posting updates to this site only; that other site didn't seem to make any progress as far as people reading it :/ But anyway, if you need to background check to see what I'm talking about for future reference, all the past information is in the first post.

 

So, I forgot to post what I did the day before yesterday as far as forcing went. Basically, I sat in my bed for around 45 minutes and just worked on Amy's form, specifically the way she feels. As I cannot really "see" her very well, I'm working on just getting a basic feel for her, as I believe it is easier for her. (No, she does not enjoy being felt up you pervs But anyway, I basically figured out her arms, face, torso, and neck regions, I just need to start working on the lower areas stop laughing

 

Yesterday afternoon I was forcing on the bus, and Bubba actually caught a fish- this is a first for him, as he usually just gives up after a while, heads to town, and gets plastered. Well the thing is, this fish was orange and had like these black polka dots, and when he caught it, it stood up and started dancing, and then jumped back in the water. Bubba was furious, as he was hoping to have an actual fish to show off to people, but I just laughed. Later, he just went into town and got drunk. (Read the first link to understand- he can only get drunk when in town; the alcohol he drinks at the pond/lake is not volatile for him)

 

As far as Amy goes, after I worked on her form that one night she's stopped being mad at me, and we actually discussed whether she wanted to talk in the forums/IRC sometime. She said she would like to, but she is very shy, so don't expect anything soon. She has a habit of doing things at the spur of the moment- she's really quiet, and then starts talking a lot to me. It is sometimes quite difficult to talk to her, as I will attempt to go to the wonderland, but get distracted by something else; it's as if she wants me to get distracted.

 

Today I was basically just forcing in the car; My mother had to do a ton of errands, and I had to sit in the car all day, so I decided to start forcing. Well, basically, I worked on Amy some more, and we talked about Yotslot's issue with time (Talk to him about it if you want to know more) and how I was keeping track of that time in a log, but basically after a while, she got tired and so we basically just took a nap together in the car. It was odd, though, because it was something like half-way between a wonderland and reality; as in I was asleep in the car, and so was she, but we were also in my bed at home at the same time. Any suggestions, explanations, etc...?

I'll post again tonight if there's anything new- until then...

Ermahgerd Ver fer Vernderterr

 

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So yesterday I was talking on the shoutbox thing under forums, and I was about to get off when Amy decides that she wants to talk- This was her first time talking! I was so excited- but then she started talking to some guy named Viceroy or something and he said some... pretty messed up things to her. And then he just wrote it off that he had "penis issues." To which Amy said "Ewww-Gross!" Long story short, I don't think she's going to want to start talking to other people again any time soon.

As far as things with me go, it was pretty cool- There's like this weird emotional barrier between Amy and I, separating our consciousnesses, but when she got sad after the things Viceroy said, I could feel her sadness, and then when she got angry, I got a little angry as well, as if her emotions poured over her side of my conciousness into my side (at least that's how I think about it) even though I was trying to remain neutral- if it had been me, I would've just stopped talking to the guy, but she insisted on continuing, so I just let her put what she wanted out there. Anyway, it was cool knowing that she can actually talk on her own to other people- I'd just like to give a quick thank you to Roswell for helping her out. (and a special thanks to Coinflipper for helping Amy out after this whole ordeal. In her words, "Thank you so much! I love you!")

Ermahgerd Ver fer Vernderterr

 

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Alrighty then. I should probably update my hour counts and such for various purposes.

 

Amy: Age: 3-4 weeks Force Time: 12-16 hours Personality-Shy, sensitive, intelligent, caring, loving Form: Human, Female, 16-18 years old (It changes), slightly messed black/brown hair (but it changes color occasionally), relatively short for her age, about 105 pounds. Summary: Very intelligent, enjoys making friends, but isn't entirely certain how to make them. She is content most of the time, and really enjoys being with me. She is shy otherwise, although she is not so shy once you get to know her.

 

Bubba: Age: 2 weeks Forcing Time: Not entirely certain; I've had him before I knew he was a tulpa Personality-He really doesn't give a shit about anything; drunk 90% of the time Form: Human, Male, mid-20's hobo-ish, wears really beat up sandals, messed up hair Summary: Just overall a redneck hobo who doesn't care. He's funny when he's not drunk, enjoys hunting, fishing, etc... (Note: Originally, he was "God." See the first post for more information)

Ermahgerd Ver fer Vernderterr

 

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Long-time no post.

This was supposed to be posted 11/6/12, but I never got around to it. Anyway, here ya go:

11/6/12 11:17PM

Today I was accused of shitposting on the site, so I'm going to be cleaning up my posts, as in making anything that I post sound at least semi-professional and relevant. I deleted certain posts of mine which were ambiguous, irrelevant, or otherwise amateurish. So there should be no more trouble as far as that is concerned. The person in question shall remain unnamed for the sake of privacy, but rest assured, I have learned my lesson.

Second, I was accused of RPing; asked the names of my tulpae, which I told, but then was asked to "proxy" them. For whatever reason, at the time I did not know what "Proxying" was but after looking back on it, I'm pretty sure that it's basically acting as a go-between between your tulpa and another person. (Someone please enlighten me on this. Thank you.)

Finally, on to the update on all things tulpa:

I have not visited the wonderland for well over two days now, but my tulpae have been visiting me instead throughout the day; that is, they talk to me in mindvoice, but it's different from being in the wonderland, where we actually talk out loud to one another. Also, they are not yet imposed, but I can see their faces, various parts of their bodies, etc... when they talk to me in this manner, however, there is no background or setting from which they stand in. It's difficult to explain, really.

I've taken on a project for drawing two tulpae, Placidia and Toph, and so far I have begun work on Placidia. Granted, it's not professional, but at least it's a try. Only problem is, I can't seem to recall who's tulpa Placidia is. If any one knows, please reply or PM me. Thanks!

One more thing; when I asked Amy what she thought about the RPing accusation (That I am merely playing out an assumed role in the IRC and shoutbox) she said that she didn't really care. However, I could tell that she was actually troubled by it, as she responded over-emotionally. I will probably talk to her about it tongiht. Anyway, that's all for today.

V

Ermahgerd Ver fer Vernderterr

 

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Again, I haven't posted in a while, but anyway, here goes:

Basically, I've been attempting to open-eye force while in my natural environment, as in anything that is not where I plan to force. So what I've been finding is that at the most random moments Amy will suddenly pop into my head for no reason, making comments about random things, mainly things that I otherwise would not know were present. For instance, she commented on the peoples' accent in the church I went to today. I didn't even notice they had accents until she pointed this out. I'm hoping that this means that she is finally developing a true conscious, rather than simply puppeting (Even though puppeting isn't bad according to some people.) It's crazy because I actually have more fun with her than real people sometimes.

Anyway, as far as Bubba goes, the only time I ever see him is when I'm about to go to sleep, or he'll just jump into a conversation Amy and I are having with some stupid remark. He's not very intelligent, at least that he lets on. I think (more like I know because I am able to read his mind) that he is actually more intelligent than what he appears; he just gets into these drunken stupors for whatever reason. I'm thinking that there is something very painful hidden in his past, and he wants to force it out of his mind.

(As a side note, I believe that this attempt to conceal something painful is actually a manifestation of one of my own discernings about myself. That is, I had something... painful... happen to me and I attempted to hide it by putting on a blank face or pretending that nothing really mattered, or faking that everything was okay. I'm not entirely sure about this, but I think that it is my subconscious's way of letting me know that everyone has these problems; like it's trying to project my feelings onto another person. I think of it as my conscious being a projector in a theatre. My own body is the window that the projector shoots out of, into the theatre where everyone can see. I think of the tulpae as being individual little sheets on the sides of that window where parts of the projector shoot out at. It's complicated, but that's just my way of making sense of all of this.)

That's all for now.

-V

Ermahgerd Ver fer Vernderterr

 

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Today I was in the car and wasn't very tired and had nothing better to do, so I decided to force for about 45 minutes. For whatever reason, almost every time I decide to force outside of my usual forcing time, it always ends with either me, Amy, or Bubba falling asleep or attempting to fall asleep. It's the strangest thing... Anyway, I was basically just thinking about how Amy would look like imposed upon reality, so I attempted to work on touch, without site. That is, I closed my eyes and thought about how Amy would feel in reality. I basically hugged her around the waist and used my face to go over her hair, her face, her neck, her shoulders, and some of her back. This may seem strange to some people, but it just felt like the natural thing to do. After a while, Amy got bored (I guess she got bored- I'm making assumptions here, but it appeared that way to me by her actions) and asked me to turn over on my back so she could give me a massage. At first I didn't want to, but after repeated please at it, I turned over on my back. She then hugged me as I had been hugging her and ran her face along the back of my neck, my hair, and my cheeks/face. It was interesting to me, and pretty cool too, that she would do that to me. I'm not sure if it is some form of mimicry or what it is, but I thought it was fun- and it was nice for Amy to want to do something for me. Anyway, after that I asked her if I could roll back over to our original position and at first she didn't want to, but after I asked her for a while she obliged, and so I went back to hugging her. However, I stopped running my face over her and we just laid there together, drifting somewhere between sleep and awareness. After about five minutes, she wanted to get up, so I let go of her and she moved back into the seat behind me. At this time I attempted to visualize her actually moving back into the seat, as in in reality, but met with only limited results. It's just so difficult to create a visual hallucination- the best I could do was somewhere between a wonderland-recreation of reality in which she moved to the seat and a reality in which I imagined her moving into the seat. (Why is it that everything I try to explain has to be so complicated?) That's all for now.

-V

Ermahgerd Ver fer Vernderterr

 

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