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Daniel's Tulpa Progress Log

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Noah's voice

Some people give their tulpa's voice a lot of thought. Others don't.

I find it difficult to describe sound, sure you can talk about the pitch or the tone but there are only so many words you can use.

Visuals on the other hand are really easy, colors, textures, I can tell you exactly what Noah looks like.

But his voice....

 

I've never thought about it a whole lot to be honest. There have been a couple of times we tried basing his voice on someone else but they never really stuck. As a result Noah's voice has pretty much developed on it's own to be unique. All I can really say about it is that he sounds his age, of course that is tricky given boy's his age often suffer from cracking voices and sudden onsets of deeper tones. Noah hasn't gone through that so his voice is still youthful.

 

That doesn't really answer much but there really isn't much I can do about it. I can't give any examples so it's up to you to make it up yourself.

 

It may also be worth noting that just a few nights ago I had a dream that featured Noah. Because I had this topic in my mind when I woke up I specifically remember what his voice sounded like. It's one thing to hear something in your imagination while awake but another thing completely to hear how your mind interprets things during your dreams. If only I could record my dreams... oh well.

 

To those of you who do base their tulpa's voices on other people, good for you. Just like a visual aid can help an audio aid can be just as useful. Plus, you can choose someone with a really awesome voice.

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Tulpa in sickness

I've come down with the common cold the last few days. It makes me lethargic and makes my head sore. I don't get sick all that often but it happens from time to time.

While I've been sick in the past I used to rationalize my laziness and blame the illness for my lack of getting anything done. This time though I've noticed absolutely no difference in Noah. He's still always around just like he would be on a good day. My mind wanders more and I can't focus but it is interesting that it often wanders to him regardless.

I take comfort in his consistency. Noah is always here when I want him to be. He doesn't get sick, he doesn't take days off and so far nothing ever seems to bother him. He can't get sick, he can't catch what I have, so even if I feel bad he is still cheerful. His usual self, and sometimes I really appreciate that about him.

 

Roleplaying with a tulpa.

I enjoy writing, not at any serious level, just the idea of sitting in front of the keyboard and coming up with scenarios, plots and random events. Most of the activities I enjoy distract me too much to get Noah involved. For example playing games requires too much of my focus most of the time. Reading captures my focus too much. But so far my newest way to get Noah involved is working out really well.

It's roleplaying. Or more specifically freeform storytelling. I simply chose a dramatic setting. Created a few random characters and then allowed Noah to put a self insert into the story. So, not only is Noah the focus of the story but he is actually helping to write it too.

To prevent me from taking full control and getting too distracted with pages on pages of nonstop typing I've put every serious encounter up to chance. Kinda like a tabletop RPG (which I've never actually played, but know enough about) all major events are controlled by luck. You roll a die and see what happens. Same here, with creative license of course. All of the characters have stats and the dice roll determines how well they perform. Noah's character in the story hasn't died yet but he's come close.... still, it's only early days.

 

In the end though it's nothing too serious. The idea was to allow me to do something I enjoy with a spin to allow Noah to participate. The laid back pace of the game allows me to keep him involved all the time. I suppose its somewhat like a wonderland adventure except it's a lot more structured.

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Writing exercises work wonderfully! I'm happy that you two are really getting into something that you can share on a more 'imaginitave' level. :) Keep us posted on any particularly interesting scenarios.

 

Hope that you feel better soon ^^


New? Need Knowledge? - List of Guides - Creative's Creation Handbook

Have you hugged your tulpa today?

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Just how real is a tulpa?

I think a lot of people come into this process expecting far too much. With just a tiny bit of effort someone can create someone that is almost human, someone that looks and sounds real, someone who will always be by their side for whatever reason.

Personally my expectations have always been low. When the process evolved beyond my initial expectations I learned to appreciate it so much more.

I don't think imposition is the most important (or realistic) part of the tulpa process. Tricking the senses is difficult even under the best (or worst) of circumstances. Instead I like to focus on what I can influence, what I can control.

I think the most important part of Noah is his autonomy. The way I perceive and come up with his actions without them crossing my train of thought. The single greatest thing I have achieved is how to perceive him as separate from my thoughts every single time I interact with him.

 

Maybe that sounds a little underwhelming. Why not visual imposition? Even if that was something I could do what would the point be if I didn't perceive Noah as separate.

 

I think it's healthy to keep it real. To know and to understand what you are doing and what you are trying to achieve with a tulpa.

 

My interactions with Noah haven't been to try and impose him, instead I have focused on simply trying to let him be. I talk to him, test him with questions and gauge the way he reacts to the environment thought his imaginary body.

I don't see any of this with my senses, it's all just imagination. Just like he is... and just as my thoughts themselves are (but that's another story)

 

Slowly I've been noticing that his presence, even though it isn't physical, seems like it is. As if an actual person occupies his position. That feeling of being watched you sometimes feel, Noah is that to me quite often. It's not creepy or unsettling because his presence is something I welcome, it is something I am trying to cement.

And it's because I treat him like a person. He talks, comes up with opinions and interacts with ideas in realistic way without any of it crossing my thoughts.

 

That is really the extent of it, there is no magic and there are no shortcuts. It always has been and always will be just my imagination. The more you practice the easier it becomes to imagine your tulpa doing things without the thoughts crossing your mind.

Noah lifts one of his hands, I see it but I don't think about the action, merely perceive it happening. When you type on a keyboard you don't think about the keys your hitting, instead you think about what you are typing. The mind processes and creates information without it necessarily crossing your train of thought. That's all the tulpa process is to me.

 

So yeah, it's complicated but only so much as you make it.

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Snap

Today while browsing randomly on the internet I stumbled on something I had forgotten for years. An old cartoon I used to watch. I looked it up and it came out when I was twelve, so I guess by the time it got here I was probably 13 or maybe even 14. Now, I never watched it a whole lot nor did I really get into it but the idea behind it was an interesting one.

 

Basically the main character had a secret "wonderland" he could enter through a magic portal. When he was there he could shape it any way he liked with the help of magic. The first thing he created was a character to share the journey with, that character was called Snap. So now at this point you are thinking one of two things. I know this show.... or, I have no idea what you are talking about. It was all very lighthearted, it didn't have any real plot, just a load of silly events like cartoons do (because sometimes we should watch things that test our imagination while not killing half of the cast). Unlike a lot of other 13-14 year olds I didn't care much for gun violence or whatever else would be considered normal for a high school (middle school for all those from the US and not Australia) instead I liked the shows like this one that were more fun, carefree and imaginative.

 

Anyway, stumbling across this immediately made me think of Noah. In a way Noah is my Snap. Should I have remembered the cartoon around the time I created Noah I might have even called him Snap. I know at the very least he would have been influenced by this character.

I do enjoy thinking about would have been/could have been scenarios. This is one that I found interesting enough to share. So many tulpa are influenced by things the host enjoys. Many tulpa take their forms based on characters and are influenced by them heavily. I'm glad I decided not to do that with Noah but of course it's still fun to imagine what he could have been like.

Comparing the two they do have a lot of similar traits. Should Noah be exclusively bound to the wonderland like Snap is then I expect he'd act quite similarly (maybe less of a goofball though)

This of course is all just lighthearted thinking, Noah isn't going to change because I remembered this cartoon. I just thought it was fun to think about.

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Phases

We all go plenty of phases in our lives. Enjoying certain trends, trying to fit in or just trying out something new for a while.

Now before you assume doom and gloom... that's not what the topic is about.

 

No, this is about all the phases I've noticed Noah go through. Noah goes through a lot of phases. They aren't all huge awkward trends or even very noticeable but the things he does and my visualizations of him are always changing.

Yes, I am probably to blame for a lot of it but it's so very simple to do because any changes in visualization or behavior can come about in an instant.

For example, when we began (with the name Nova) Noah would play with magic fireballs all the time, it was his only "superpower". When other little things slipped in and he tried other things the use of fireballs somewhat fell to the wayside, not that he can't use them. Since he has had phases of many different things. There have been days where he only flies around everywhere and days where he simply walks through walls instead of using doors.

Then there are personality phases. Some days he'll be affectionate, cuddly and the like, other days he'll be the cool kid who tries to be independent. They aren't all easy to describe but he is certainly ever-changing as he still tries to work out exactly who he is.

Finally there are visual phases. Noah isn't a shapeshifter but he can change his appearance if he wants. He has so many outfits I've lost count. Sometimes he'll wear the same thing for days, on other days it'll be different every time I look at him.

 

Most change is good. It keeps us focused and interested in the process. On the other hand consistency is also good so it makes it difficult to argue it one way or the other.

At the end of the day though Noah is still the same kid. It doesn't matter what he's wearing or what he finds interesting at the time because the same is true of people. Beneath it all the person is still the same as they were before. With every day that goes by I learn a little more about Noah and I get more used to him.

 

Don't try to provoke change but just let it happen. I'm surprised by how similar Noah is to a human in that regard. He explores his very being through the changes he makes and the things does. The more you interact with your tulpa the more you'll probably notice this. If you're stumped then going on a wonderland adventure with your tulpa... or go out and see the real world.

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Consistency

Sometimes you go for a while without seeing much change. This is true of a lot of things, not just tulpa.

One of the greatest things about Noah is that he is always there. He is consistent, there are no days where he isn't dependable. He's always around, always happy and under any cosmetic changes he's always the same.

It's nice to have someone remain the same. I myself have changed in the last month or so than he has, not to say I have really changed much at all. I can look over my shoulder or get a tap on it to remind me he's there, it's been that way for a good year now. It'd take some getting used to if he suddenly vanished but fortunately that isn't something have to worry about.

 

What's my point? Life isn't all drama and conflict. Reaching a state of stability is something I think everyone should strive for. The little things add up and without anything to push us back (doubt for example) those little things pile up. I know Noah as if he were a real person. He has quirks and a personality like everyone else I meet. He shares my memories and occupies them as if he were actually there. That day I went some place, Noah went there too. That thing we saw last week, Noah thought it was strange. The longer you spend with your tulpa the more these memories pile up. They are strong memories, important ones. I'm glad I share them with Noah.

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Day to Day

The forums were out for about a week so I fell somewhat behind on what other people are up to. That meant my only exposure to the tulpa process was through my own tulpa, Noah.

The longer I have him with me the more obvious it becomes that having a tulpa is a lifestyle. I'm never really alone and my thoughts are never really idle because there is someone to stimulate them. I never expected this when I started and I doubt many people do even when they study up.

But what about Noah? When we started he as an empty shell with a borrowed face. It is his experiences, no matter how unremarkable most of them may be, that define who he is. I've known who he is from day one but just like a relationship with another person you learn more the longer you spend with them, and I've spent a lot of time with Noah.

 

If somehow he could be put in a physical body he'd be a very convincing boy his age. Due to his tulpa background I'm sure if someone specifically pushed him for information he'd fold but otherwise I believe he could pass as a person, perhaps even if his thoughts were still grounded in my mind and not the body. Now that's an interesting what if.

 

Dreams

Since Shui keeps referring people to my thread when it comes to lucid dreaming I thought I should address it in a more recent post.

I started Noah not as a tulpa but as a character for use in the lucid dreaming technique CALD (Character Assisted Lucid Dreaming). Taking the process in full stride Noah was very similar to a tulpa even though he wasn't called as such (what would you classify your tulpa as if you couldn't use the word "Tulpa" specifically.)

We used character because it was simple and because they were fictional (imaginary and obviously not real (physical))

Anyway. I've had plenty of success with the technique but Noah doesn't frequent my reams very often. The dreams he does feature in I typically remember very well even if I wasn't lucid.

If you want to try using your tulpa to get into lucid dreaming then by all means try. Talk with your tulpa about dreaming while you are awake and involve them in everything you do regarding it. Write your dreams down, have your tulpa do reality checks with you etc etc.

And if anyone wants to read about CALD specifically you can find the thread here.

Because it is such a long thread I don't actually appear until halfway down this page.

BTW if you haven't read much of my thread here it might be worth noting that when I began I called Noah "Nova". We don't use that name much anymore.

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Making interaction with your tulpa a chore

Last night I was talking to Noah and he brought up a good point. Too often I talk to him about the fact we don't talk enough.

That's a huge problem.

Without new things to talk about, new things to do, the process becomes stale and that causes people to give up. Of course after spending this much time with Noah it's going to take a lot more than a few boring conversations to bring everything crashing down. But, I can see how that affects people new to the process. It takes a lot of effort on the part of the host to keep the tulpa interested. To keep the tulpa interesting.

Just now I did a bit of brainstorming with Noah to see what he thinks about keeping it fresh. He came up with a new wonderland centric exercise we can try and a few ideas/reminders for what we can talk about when I'm out an about. It's important to both get involved and both have a say in what you do. A tulpa can and will let you know what they want to do, what they want to talk about. Noah sure does. His whimsical nature means we often drift between tasks and topics quickly but at least that stops it from getting stale.

Honestly, I think you can compare a lot of the tulpa process with a relationship with a real person. If you are boring then they'll get bored of you. If you don't make an effort then they probably won't either.

Often I see our dynamic relating to my earlier speculation. The whole father/son or older brother/younger brother thing. I'm the boss and I'm always proud of him and what he does. Yeah, it's fluffy, so what, if I wanted boring conversation I'd make more small talk with my work colleagues.

 

Like a god

Love the host, care about their wellbeing, exist solely to make them happy.

At first glance that might seem like what the tulpa process is. Surely these things would be inevitable, existing solely in someones mind means your whole existence revolves around that person. How could a tulpa do or be anything else.

We can all see it and we all understand it. Noah is just in my head after all. Your mindset regarding this issue is everything. Everyone's tulpa is going to like them. If they don't.... well that's a whole other issue I don't really want to get into here. How do you view your relationship with your tulpa? How do you view the idea of tulpa in general?

In all my interaction with Noah I am aware of what he is but I try to interact with him as if he were another person. He can make his own choices and form his own opinions. If I do something he doesn't like then he'll let me know. He'll like me more if I listen to him and he'll be disappointed if I ignore any sound advice he might give.

Once again it's like comparing it to a relationship with a real person. I don't need someone in my head who does nothing but love me unconditionally. I don't need praise from him to feel good about myself. I value him because he can speak for himself and because if he were suddenly another person I think he would happily stick around a lot of the time.

The point? Noah gets to be his own person and that makes the process that much more valuable.

 

Surprise me

We've all done the exercise before. Ask your tulpa to surprise you.

The first time I did it was probably about a year ago. Noah surprised me by shooting fireworks out of his hands. I wasn't expecting that at all. It was fun little exercise and I didn't really think much of it.

Just now I asked him about. I haven't explicitly asked him that question for quite some time. Today he just stood there and I watched him. He furrowed his brow before putting his hands together. I felt like he was going to do something explosive again, something that wouldn't surprise me. So I told him to stop. This won't work, I know him too well, what could he do to surprise me now?

Then he flashed over to me and put me into an imaginary headlock. Nothing aggressive, just playful but suddenly serious and very much in the spirit of "Surprise me."

He won the game that's for sure.

Still after all this time surprise me works. Maybe it speaks for how human he seems to me. His personality shone through with just a single action. His response to winning the game was also very genuine. Unless I sit and actually study his actions like I'm doing now I don't even think twice about these things. He is just Noah, I might not be able to see or hear or touch him but he is still just as real as the next person.

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