Mind Ruts

[Lavender]

My host consciousness and I have come across this thing we call a "mind rut."

 

Basically it's a habit so deeply ingrained in our neural connections that I find myself doing it even though it goes contrary to my character and is much more aligned with something my host consciousness would do.

 

For example, I find myself growing impatient with slow and uncertain drivers when I'm fronting in the car. That's not me. It really isn't. I'm an enjoy-the-journey sort of person and when my host consciousness is driving I'm usually encouraging them not to be anxious about when we we're going to get wherever we're going and that whenever we get there will be just the perfect time. That's me. So I hate it when I hit one of these mind ruts that has me, almost as a reflex, acting in a way that it seems my host consciousness conditioned our mind to do.

 

Any other systems encounter something like this? How do you deal with it?

[TurboSimmie]

On 10/23/2024 at 11:57 AM, Lavender said:

For example, I find myself growing impatient with slow and uncertain drivers when I'm fronting in the car. That's not me. It really isn't. I'm an enjoy-the-journey sort of person and when my host consciousness is driving I'm usually encouraging them not to be anxious about when we we're going to get wherever we're going and that whenever we get there will be just the perfect time. That's me. So I hate it when I hit one of these mind ruts that has me, almost as a reflex, acting in a way that it seems my host consciousness conditioned our mind to do.

 

YES, oh goodness, everything you said in the paragraph applies to me word for word.

 

On 10/23/2024 at 11:57 AM, Lavender said:

Any other systems encounter something like this? How do you deal with it?

 

What having these kinds of experiences has taught us is there's a lot in our brain that is not tied directly to one headmate or another. There are many things that I used to associate with Phil that I started to experience myself when switched in, and that led me to understand that they were not Phil-things, they were just junk that existed outside of either of "us" but still within the brain.

 

We use color metaphors to help understand things in our system: Phil-related things are coded blue while Simmie-related things are coded green. James is red. Things that are blended and unclear between Phil and I are teal. However, things associated with none of us are coded gray. We've come to realize the majority of stuff in the brain is actually Gray, and our various identities are like webs of color that filter out through the gray like tree roots, interacting with it. Driving is almost entirely a gray-coded thing just like walking. All the "ego"s have to do is give the gray instructions and it does the rest, and that includes both the muscle memory needed as well as the little quirks like getting impatient at slow driveres. The sum of this "Gray" has been given various names, such as "graymind" or "BodyOS", but there's no widespread name that is recognized in the community which is a shame because I think this is something tulpamancy needs to pay more attention to.

 

As for how to deal with it, the best thing I can think of is just being mindful and exercising your will. Remind yourself as often as you can who you are, and how you like to do things. Graymind/BodyOS can be overruled by an act of will. It's not easy, but the more you practice it the easier it becomes. After all, just like with headmates, graymind can be "forced" too.

 

 

[The Incans]

[Kitty].  we don’t drive but my host has been through a difficult time with peri menopause causing mood swings and frequent host changes. When I have been fronting I have also felt stressed from all the emotions inside (from other alter versions of host) We had a lot of teen hosts and a couple of child alters resurfacing with issues that had never been dealt with back at the time.  

 

I have been working alot in the background to help them by being whoever they needed me to be when they fronted..eg mummy for the littles, sister or friend to the teens etc and gradually they have re-integrated into the host.  

 

This for us has also told us and host who were alters and who are Tulpa’s because the Tulpa’s still exist seperately after everyone else has re-integrated as we were never ‘a version of host’.  It has taken about 8 years in total. Could your host’s body be going through something like the menopause/manopause/mid life crisis etc?? 

Edited November 1 by The Incans