Phoenix's and Seraphina's progress report

[Rhea]

Hi, I'm Phoenix! (I put the most important parts in bold for people who may just want to sift through, I hope that's okay)

 

After going through quite a few guides both on here and on YouTube, yesterday I finally took the plunge and began attrmpting to force with Seraphina. It's a very big commitment, and I'm a bit scared I might mess things up somehow or do it wrong... but we're going for it and I'm determined to see this through. I believe in us!

 

So yesterday morning we did our first active forcing session. I started by attempting the "greeting" process described in the "May the Force be with You" guide.

I stuggle a lot with my mind's eye, I don't have full aphantasia but I've always had a hard time with seeing anything concrete, unless it's a place I've lived in for some years or an object I use a lot like my phone. And adhd makes it that much harder to concentrate x.x

 

To make it a bit easier, I tried to imagine her as a ball of golden light, as I greeted her, said some hopefully encouraging words, tried to explain the basics of who I am and who she is, etc.

 

The personality traits I've been giving her as a sort of basis are:

• Compassionate
• Kind
• Funny
• Clever
• Mischievous
• Confident
• Talkative
• Energetic
• Empathetic
• Smart
• Optimistic
• Assertive
• Independent
• Curious
• Honest

 

I saw many people say to avoid negative traits, because just like me or anyone else she'll grow to have her own quirks and flaws and we wouldn't want to like... push an unwanted challenge onto her. Am I doing this right?

 

I was only able to active force for 30 or so minutes, and with my mind straying quite a lot, but it's a start. Practice makes perfect, as they say.

 

It was a work day for me, and I usually work while listening to YouTube videos but instead yesterday I decided to listen to some (mostly) calming music and spent most of the day narrating to her and doing passive forcing, trying to imagine her form with my eyes both closed and open, and trying my best to tell her about everything I could think of, and telling her that I'm here for her and trying to encourage her.

 

Something a bit strange happened, and I'm not sure if it's any sign of her or if it's just me, but as I was trying to think of an actual more human-like form for her, and I thought of the shape and color of her hair first and then the rest of the silhouette just kind of... popped into my mind, I guess? Her general shape, clothes, their color, their texture, the color of her eyes, all kind of came in all at once. It's only day one so I'd be incredibly surprised if that was her in some way, it might be just me being inspired at that moment, I'm not sure.

But ever since that point it's been a bit easier to imagine her.

 

I also chose a basis for our mindscape, as the room I had as a teenager. It's small and it's not perfect, but it's one of the few places I can picture with any semblence of consistency and accuracy.

 

As I was listening to music I tried to imagine her sitting on the side of the bed, hands pressing down on the bed on each side, swaying her legs back and forth in rhythm with the music. I hope that's okay, am I doing something wrong by imagining her form moving, even though it's not her actually doing the moving?

 

So yeah, that's about it for the time being! Thank you if you read this far and thank you especially if you have amy advice or answer to my questions <3

I'm writing this as I'm just about to try going for a second (of probably many, many) active forcing session with her, so... wish me luck!

 

Edit: wish us luck, I don't know for sure how she feels but I get the feeling she could use the encouragement too^^

 

Edited April 28 by SillyPhoenix
just a small typo

[Seagull]

 

19 hours ago, SillyPhoenix said:

yesterday I finally took the plunge

You did!

19 hours ago, SillyPhoenix said:

first active forcing session

Congratulations!

19 hours ago, SillyPhoenix said:

I stuggle a lot with my mind's eye

Ahantasia is like a limitation on how much you can modify sensory information, which all imagination is based on. Seeing pictures, videos, and playing video games can give your imagination more to work with.

19 hours ago, SillyPhoenix said:

adhd makes it that much harder to concentrate

I don't have this myself, but I've heard about how difficult it can be.

I would suggest meditation practice to try and push back against your intrusive thoughts a little bit.

19 hours ago, SillyPhoenix said:

imagine her as a ball of golden light

This was a good! Concentrating on an essence allows them to choose their form.

19 hours ago, SillyPhoenix said:

Am I doing this right?

Definitely. I agree that's it's better to let negative traits/flaws form naturally, as it's so much harder to create a positive trait than it is to create negative one, so you should aim for a perfect set of traits but while also expecting to them to fail that as the challenges of life become more apparent to them with experience.

19 hours ago, SillyPhoenix said:

spent most of the day narrating to her and doing passive forcing

That's good! Regular communication is key.

19 hours ago, SillyPhoenix said:

Something a bit strange happened, and I'm not sure if it's any sign of her or if it's just me

I imagine you were subconsciously trying to think of a form, this means that it could of very well been Seraphina' thought, I think that you should tell yourself that it was, so that that this event will then be associated with her memories.

19 hours ago, SillyPhoenix said:

I hope that's okay, am I doing something wrong by imagining her form moving, even though it's not her actually doing the moving?

Are you sure that it was you consciously moving her? By simply imaging the form moving, even when concentrating, you're allowing you subconscious to send you information, if you pay attention to this, you may notice that a certain amount of moment happens on its own, this is how Seraphina will be able to communicate with you how she wants to move in the future, just be aware that random thoughts may also be an intrusive thought, a thought that is neither your or hers, which is nothing to worry about.

19 hours ago, SillyPhoenix said:

us

Zara: Seraphina...! Hi!! Welcome to forum! I can see that you are in good hands with such a considerate host, welcome welcome!

[Rhea]

Thank you so much for your kind reply! It's so incredibly encouraging, and also reassuring.

 

I've done the same routine again yesterday, and I'm getting the feeling we're making progress!

I've been getting a bit of those head pressures when I narrate to her or think about her for a prolonged amount of time.. it's not painful but it's a pretty unmistakable amount of pressure, I think it's a good sign? Interestingly enough the pressure seems to dissipate when I have to concentrate on something else.

 

Also hi Zara! Your message also warms my heart, and I relayed it to Seraphina the best I could^^

[Seagull]

It's a good sign! Yes! Congratulations on the progress!

 

I remember experiencing headaches but I didn't know about head pressures until much later, though I saw two interesting answers on this thread:

 

 

[TB]

welcome, sillyphoenix and seraphina!

 

i think everything you're doing sounds good to me. it's similar to what i did, except i already knew what form my tulpa would have since i turned an OC into a tulpa, but i had a trait list and stuff, and a lot of talking to them going about my day. also when i made her, head pressures quickly became a common thing, and anytime i'd focus on her or she wanted to get my attention, the headpressures would get really strong. after a while, we had to practice lessening them actually because they kind of became disruptive to us lol, but overall i think they're a good sign and helpful early on to feel confident that something is happening and you have a tulpa there. some people don't get them, i don't know why that is, so they're not necessary but i hope you find them useful since you are getting them

 

also yeah, you don't need to make negative traits on purpose. in fact, i think a lot of "negative" traits are sometimes distortions of positive traits, or positive traits manifesting inappropriately, which kind of happens on its own in life as it can be hard to navigate sometimes and no one has everything figured out and has blind spots. i don't mean that in a scary way. and just kind of saying that from my own experience, i don't want to script you into expecting something

 

also sometimes it can seem unclear if something was yourself or your tulpa. i think it is good to try not to stress about it too much, and i don't think there is always a hard line of distinction between a host and their tulpa for everything that happens in the mind. like seagull said some things can be neither. and some can be both. the mind is doing a lot of stuff on its own, so from a certain perspective it may seem like the host and tulpa may choose things that arise naturally and take ownership of it. it's kind of a self fulfilling prophecy. if you aren't sure if you thought something or they did, but it is in line with their traits or your expectation, you can allow them to take ownership of it if they want to, and overtime it will become more natural and they will start to take ownership of their kind of thoughts automatically and you'll just know when it is them thinking because there is like a 6th sense that something in the mind is coded as them. kind of like how dbz characters can tell who's ki it is they're sensing

 

sorry if none of that didn't make sense. take what is useful and ignore things that don't seem helpful. there are a lot of people willing to give advice if you have any and have experience doing so. i don't have as much experience giving advice. i'll try to help if i can though, if it seems helpful to you

 

i also have adhd, and not long after starting tulpamancy, i started a regular meditation practice as well, so i too recommend it, if it is something you are willing to do. in fact, a lot of my forcing sessions would just me doing long meditation sits, but in the presence of my tulpa, and sometimes just noticing when thoughts arise and noticing the ones flavored as mine and as hers. it is quite a subtle practice i think, and meditation helps one notice subtle experiences. it had a load of benefits outside of tulpamancy too

 

anyway, good luck, i wish you and your tulpa's journey's to go well

[Shaula]

Congrats on starting your journey! 😄 Unfortunately, we can't answer most of your questions. I and the rest of Nightfall's tulpas were accidental and pretty well forced before we learned about it. To me and Nightfall everything sounds right. 

 

On 4/28/2025 at 9:07 AM, SillyPhoenix said:

Edit: wish us luck, I don't know for sure how she feels but I get the feeling she could use the encouragement too^^

 

That's something I can do. I believe in you! I can't wait to see you comment on the sight if you choose to. 😊 

[Rhea]

Hi TB and Shaula! Thank you so much for your warm welcome^-^

 

1 hour ago, TB said:

if you aren't sure if you thought something or they did, but it is in line with their traits or your expectation, you can allow them to take ownership of it if they want to,

I'll dedinitely try that. I'm just really worried about parroting... But there have been a few moments where I asked her something or said something to her and felt an unusually heightened emotion, and I'm fairly certain it was her.

I'll try to worry a bit less about it and just focus on keeping her in my mind as much as possible^^

1 hour ago, TB said:

not long after starting tulpamancy, i started a regular meditation practice as well, so i too recommend it

I think I'll take that advice as well, when I do active forcing sessions I find myself having to refocus my mind every 15 to 20 seconds. I've never meditated before but I feel like it might help with more than just forcing.

1 hour ago, Shaula said:

I believe in you!

Thank you so much^-^ Your support really warms my heart, and I can't wait to have more progress to write about and also participate more in the community! I especially can't wait for Seraphina to be able to participate if she wishes^^

[TB]

1 minute ago, SillyPhoenix said:

I'll dedinitely try that. I'm just really worried about parroting... But there have been a few moments where I asked her something or said something to her and felt an unusually heightened emotion, and I'm fairly certain it was her.

I'll try to worry a bit less about it and just focus on keeping her in my mind as much as possible^^

parroting is a valid technique one can use in the beginning. though being paranoid of always parroting is an issue some people face so not everyone likes to do it. i don't think parroting is always black and white. i don't know what others think of this, but i've had experiences where i will feel partially like i'm parroting, or like i am receiving my tulpa's thoughts and then helping them translate it to words, so it can feel like teamwork rather than putting words in their mouth. it can kind of be like teaching someone to ride a bike so you are holding onto them while they ride and eventually you let go and aren't doing it for them anymore

 

that's a thought i had anyway though, don't feel pressured to use parroting if you don't want to

 

and yeah, i thought about my tulpa as close to 24/7 as i could manage early on, so i had a lot of passive forcing on top of active forcing, so that seems good you are trying that too

 

18 minutes ago, SillyPhoenix said:

I think I'll take that advice as well, when I do active forcing sessions I find myself having to refocus my mind every 15 to 20 seconds. I've never meditated before but I feel like it might help with more than just forcing.

i wish you luck. if you have questions about meditation i can try to help with that too. i think i might be only person active on this forum who has a regular meditation practice and has so for a long while

 

have a good day

[Rhea]

1 hour ago, TB said:

if you have questions about meditation i can try to help with that too. i think i might be only person active on this forum who has a regular meditation practice

Oooh! I would love some advice on meditation, and how you do it! Thank you for offering^^

I really don't know where to start. I've heard of mindfulness where you try to be aware of every input from your senses, and some form of meditation in which you essentially don't think about anything, but I haven't been able to do that and I'm not entirely sure how.

[TB]

the first thing that ever got me to understand what meditation is and how to progress in it, was reading the early chapters of the book "The Mind Illuminated" by john yates phd/culadasa. it's a pretty thorough manual on how to start a meditation practice, and what obstacles to expect at different stages, and what to do to work on overcoming those obstacles. and gives a model of understanding the mind in context of what is going on in meditation

 

it can apply to any meditation, but in the book he mainly teaches following the breath sensations at the nose, so that's what i primarily did, and also metta, which he explains in the appendix. he also has guided meditations on youtube. i think there are pdf of the book online for free. though i know telling someone to just read a book is a lot, so don't feel pressured to. just letting you know what helped me

 

if you want to start with what i started, it would be finding a comfortable place to sit where you can sit still without moving for a long time, and close eyes. the meditation object would be the sensations of the breath at the tip of the nose. but instead of immediately putting your focus on it, start with having an open awareness of the space around you, your body, your thoughts. don't try pushing out or clinging onto any experience, just watch all that's going on from a detached far away kind of way, a really broad way. then slowly transition into having awareness just surround the body, so exclude things outside of body sensations from attention. that doesn't mean surpress them, but they should only be known in background awareness and not where your attention goes. after that, when ready you can narrow attention further to just breath sensations in the body, whether it is the nose or belly or wherever you feel breath sensations. then after that, narrow it to just the breath at the nose

 

your attention will wonder to a distraction, but you will realize it happened and be able to return to the breath. when you have these realizations, it is called spontaneous introspective awareness. you want to celebrate these moments as victories, to encourage the mind to have them more often. you want your mind to be introspectively aware, so aware of itself and what its doing

 

that's basically a summary of beginning instructions for meditating. i'm sorry if they aren't written well, i'll try to clarify anything confusing. but you'd basically do that practice and once the introspective awareness happens quicker and quicker every time you enter mind wandering, and the periods of being focused increase, you start the next stage to build other skills to overcome the next obstacles

 

let me know if you have questions about that