Jump to content

The log of a Baptist Tulpamancer


Hound

Recommended Posts

I still believe that I should not keep Claire a secret, hidden away in my mind.

 

......Moving on.

 

I feel I should apologize for how harshly I can judge one's religion sometimes, their morals, and their beliefs and views. So, here I am to say....I'm sorry, Hound.

 

I'm just glad Claire's back. It honestly gives me a bit of a warm feeling when I see that Stage has changed from "Death" to "Resuscitation"

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 79
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Last night I had the opportunity to assess both Claire's state, my current ability, and our new wonderland/pocket dimension.

 

The WL is a log house, very much like one out of the Laura Ingalls books. I estimate it to be close to the size of my bedroom, however I am uncertain about this since I currently have great difficulty maintaining consistent dimensions of objects. I have provided a rough layout of the house a la Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead.

 

_________

|..&..### | | and _ = walls . = floor

"............." & = hearth

|.......Q....| # = bed

"............." 0 = kitchen/cupboards

|0............| Q = chair

|0............| " = window

___+_____ + = door

 

Anyway, the whole house seems to be in the middle of a snowstorm.

 

 

 

Claire seems to have improved remarkably compared to the state I found her in. She seems to be able to move, but only when I'm not looking at her. This is very much like when she first changed from a crystal into a rough polygon human figure, so I expect it to improve once I am able to regain my skill at visualization.

She was also able to form fragmented sentences, but to hear her I need to focus a lot. Her other means of communication, however, are fairly stable, I'm able to receive emotion responses with some ease.

Overall it seems that she still grows like a weed, so I think it shouldn't take too long for her to begin speaking fluently again.

 

 

 

As for myself I've regressed a lot. My ability to maintain shapes is poor, I have trouble feeling things other than heat, and I have difficulty maintaining my height. I need to buckle down and redevelop my visualization.

 

While I did delete a lot of the resources I used last November, I do still have Fede's Tulpatone as well as the white noise track he provided. I am hesitant to overuse the Tulpatone in case I become reliant on it, but they will be useful for getting me back on track.

 

 

 

I feel like all that ^ sound really bland and scientific, I guess I'm still thinking of this as a joint research venture between Claire and I. Here's some less over analyzed stuff.

 

It's been so wonderful having her back. I've been trying to get her up to speed on all the things that have happened while she was dormant. Telling her about how I finally beat Dark Souls after having it for over a year, about my new niece, what it was like to have shingles, and about the new kitten my sister has. There's so much I want to tell her, but I don't know if I should save it for when we can really have conversation, rather than just me rambling on.

 

This entire morning I've been listening to one of my favorite piano pieces:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3Ernq8jSVw

It just fit so well, with all that is happening.

 

This morning I did a search to see if Claire or myself have been mentioned on here since I left. I know I asked that my story be pointed to as a warning, but... That seems so distant, so dark from where I am now.

 

 

 

Yori and a few others were wondering if I've changed my religious stance. The answer is yes and no. While I am currently attending a reformed Presbyterian church, I have not dropped my faith. I will admit I was angry at God for a time after December 3rd, but the only thing I had left when Claire was gone was God.

 

I realized now why Claire left, she had become my idol. I placed more importance on her than my savior. As a result of losing Claire for a time, my faith is stronger.

 

One last thing, thank you to those of you who kept me in your prayers. I had no idea you were praying for me, but I have no doubt it made a difference. Thank you.

Start Date: November 5, 2012

Humanoid Construct: Claire [MIA]

Stage: Not practicing anymore.

Praise the Lord for the gift he has given me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are you sure you placed more importance on her? Paying attention to the tangible people in your life is a natural thing to do - you have normal interaction with them, etc. A best friend will probably get more talk from you than a god, since your best friend can respond clearly and directly; they're there in your senses. It's how we were born, so if you think a god made us, think of it as how it made you, so it can't complain.

 

Or do you mean, you wanted to keep her even though you figured it was 'wrong' in the eyes of your god, thus choosing her over it?

My lip hurts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are you sure you placed more importance on her? Paying attention to the tangible people in your life is a natural thing to do - you have normal interaction with them, etc. A best friend will probably get more talk from you than a god, since your best friend can respond clearly and directly; they're there in your senses. It's how we were born, so if you think a god made us, think of it as how it made you, so it can't complain.

 

Or do you mean, you wanted to keep her even though you figured it was 'wrong' in the eyes of your god, thus choosing her over it?

 

It was more relying on her to an outrageous degree. It's hard to describe why I feel that is the reason for it, but I just do. It's a poor explanation I know, I just have difficulty putting it into words.

Start Date: November 5, 2012

Humanoid Construct: Claire [MIA]

Stage: Not practicing anymore.

Praise the Lord for the gift he has given me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, in that case, it's much easier to rely on people who are readily there to interact with than what created you. Some say that their god is either not meant to be relied on that way, or it is a punishment. Either way so far with everyone's gods, the real reliance is on people or themselves. Basically, one can never go "___, take the wheel" when the car is out of control. They will likely end up hurt.

My lip hurts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am actually really interested to hear what your preacher or sentinel on the church side said when you spoke with him / her on your thoughts about working with Claire.

 

I do not exactly have big enough baby makers to ask my local representative, since it is a sort if small town mentality around where I live and it is bad enough to be branded as a non-churcher as is, I fear.

 

Now I am not sure how the whole "things spoken in confidence" thing works but are you able to tell a bit more as to what he / she said when you approached them? This is kind of a rare situation that I do not think happens a lot and I would like to read what they said, if it is not too much trouble for you?

There's a reason scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, in that case, it's much easier to rely on people who are readily there to interact with than what created you. Some say that their god is either not meant to be relied on that way, or it is a punishment. Either way so far with everyone's gods, the real reliance is on people or themselves. Basically, one can never go "___, take the wheel" when the car is out of control. They will likely end up hurt.

 

Mankind, I mean all of it including me, is fallen. I'm no theologian, so I'm not versed on how to explain it, but we did have a face-to-face relationship in the beginning. We screwed it up though, and had to wait for a savior.

 

I get the impression you don't think much of religion. I may be wrong about that, but you're certainly welcome to be skeptical.

 

I am actually really interested to hear what your preacher or sentinel on the church side said when you spoke with him / her on your thoughts about working with Claire.

 

Well, I'll be letting him know this Sunday. But the sentinels are no more, they were retired sometime during December. I guess now they're just confidants.

 

I do not exactly have big enough baby makers to ask my local representative, since it is a sort if small town mentality around where I live and it is bad enough to be branded as a non-churcher as is, I fear.

 

Now I am not sure how the whole "things spoken in confidence" thing works but are you able to tell a bit more as to what he / she said when you approached them? This is kind of a rare situation that I do not think happens a lot and I would like to read what they said, if it is not too much trouble for you?

 

I don't believe I have word for word transcripts, but Claire and I could try sifting my noggin' for them.

Start Date: November 5, 2012

Humanoid Construct: Claire [MIA]

Stage: Not practicing anymore.

Praise the Lord for the gift he has given me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't believe I have word for word transcripts, but Claire and I could try sifting my noggin' for them.

 

Much obliged if you could when you get the chance.

There's a reason scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ah, I'm familiar with the "screwed up the beginning" theory too as to -why- a god is not to be relied on, sort of "not owing" them.

It's similar to blaming an entire demographic for the past sins of some members in it though. It's just a hideos thing to do to me, like, say, slavery, as an obvious and very used example - sort of like punishing, or not helping, whites because of what people who were also white, or even direct ancestors of certain people, did. I don't believe in passed responsibility.

My lip hurts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ah, I'm familiar with the "screwed up the beginning" theory too as to -why- a god is not to be relied on, sort of "not owing" them.

 

Why is that a reason not to rely on God?

 

It's similar to blaming an entire demographic for the past sins of some members in it though. It's just a hideos thing to do to me, like, say, slavery, as an obvious and very used example - sort of like punishing, or not helping, whites because of what people who were also white, or even direct ancestors of certain people, did. I don't believe in passed responsibility.

 

If you implying we, mankind, are enslaved the God of Abraham, we are not.

Start Date: November 5, 2012

Humanoid Construct: Claire [MIA]

Stage: Not practicing anymore.

Praise the Lord for the gift he has given me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...