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Can I take both pills? Philosophical speedballing.


dreampunk

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dreampunk

Log entry #2 22.12.2012

 

Again whole day spent procrastinating. Had both sessions in a row. Lasted 8 minutes. Again no music. There seems to be great drawback on not using music as an aid. The sessions duration is dramatically decreased compared to the previous ones. Although I find myself to be able to visualize better without the music, I need to sort of exercise more effort to remain in a meditative state. I was able to visualize the facial features clearly only briefly and the images fast escaped leaving me to state where I couldn't visualize anything. Well at least I did the have session.

 

Found out interesting related links: http://www.dreamviews.com/f32/advanced-vision-control-tutorial-80879/ http://www.scribd.com/collections/3645517/Self-induced-hallucinations

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dreampunk

Log entry #3 23.12.2012

 

This time separate sessions. Autosuggestion session lasted six minutes.

Visualization session lasted 12 minutes. I used my chosen meditation music this time. I noticed it is easier to visualize her moving and doing active things when listening to music. Without music it was just static, like a photograph. There wasn't as much slips in concentration on other things as there was without music. However concentrating on anything specific like the facial features, the image began to flee. So I just visualized her doing things; dancing to the rhythm of the music, jumping around, in sexually suggestive poses (these were easy to concentrate upon as long as it was moving), trying on different outfits, taking off outfits and so on. So I think the benefits of the music outweigh it's drawbacks at least in the beginning when I am not even planning on visualizing the exact details.

 

I have been obsessing about the exercise in the first link (Advanced Vision Control Tutorial), I spent about hour and a half in sort of mixed napping/exercising :D state. I was going to take a nap after I got home from work, but found out although I was exhausted, I was unable to fall asleep. But I decided I'd get "physical nap" anyway and laid there in bed and remembered the exercise. I set off my phone alarm to wake me 25 minutes later (I did this for hour and half, always setting it to alarm me 25 minutes later) and drifted in halfway to sleep and tried to do the simple exercise of changing anything even the slightest. I only managed once to form a triangle and once a circle (they were brief, but I actually "saw" them, not like visualization, but more like if the shapes were actually there, just like the phosphenes, so nothing incredible here. I was just excited I could actually manipulate them even if it took almost two hours). The remaining time I obsessed about trying to form a square but was unable to do so.

But this "exercise" was more just drifting between napping and being awake, so I am not counting or logging it as one and half hour of exercise as it wasn't. Most of the time I spent half-asleep and when feeling more alert I just tried to manipulate the phosphenes.

But that tutorial got me thinking what if I could, say within a month, generate at will a shape of my choosing. It would certainly help with the imposing part later. I think I'm going to mock around with this (nothing rigid, just say when I'm about to go to sleep or take a nap something) and see if it's worth anything. I however continue with my plans and continue to establish the routine.

 

Also for no reason, fallacy of the day: argumentum ad ignorantiam or argument from ignorance - assuming that a claim is true (or false) because it has not been proven false (true) or cannot be proven false (true).

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dreampunk

Log entry #4 24.12.2012

 

Well today was a busy day. First work then Christmas dinner with family. Had really not lot of time for myself, only about an hour and I have to go to sleep soon (as I have to go to work tomorrow), so only for routines sake I had only a short session (six minutes, visualization). I did everything in a sort of hurry, but I surprised (I'm pretty exhausted and barely coherent at this point) how easily it was to concentrate on the visualization. It was also of fairly good quality considering everything, I just shut the lights and put the headphones on playing music and visualized her just dancing to it changing outfits every so often and once without any clothing. Face was difficult to visualize and it began morphing and I had to few times "force" it back to how I want the face to appear. I'm planning on prior to falling asleep, dabble with the phosphene manipulation thing. I'm happy I pushed myself to go through even a short session.

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dreampunk

Log entry #5 25.12.2012

 

Short one again before work (six minutes). Was trying to concentrate solely on the face and used an image as an aid. Had it on my computer screen and whenever I was losing the exact shape or feature(s) I would open my eyes briefly enough to refresh my memory of the exact details. Will update later today, have to go to work now.

 

Update.

 

I have done all the previous (even the first failed project ones) sessions in the "western lotus position", sitting in a cross-legged position. I have been avoiding laying in a bed, because it's too comfortable and I could be easily lulled into a haphazard daydreaming state or even fall asleep. However I find that sitting in a cross-legged position is somewhat uncomfortable and makes me just rush the session. It however promotes alert concentration.

 

Switched all the lights off and put my headphones on and got to bed. Session lasted 45 minutes. Started with the autosuggestion and proceeded to the phosphene control thing. **I know I have deviated from my original plan, but I think the imposition part should be worked on in a tandem with the visualization.**

I spent most of the session on the phosphene control and managed to force the square to appear. Also succeed in other shapes and for some obscure reason a triangle is easy to force. I found myself from time to time (I was way more relaxed than in the other sessions) drifting in unrelated thoughts and images and when I realized that I just snapped back to what I was doing.

Still concentrating on anything was easier but I kept drifting shortly to unrelated things.

Last part I (for about ten to fifteen minutes) visualized my to be hallucinatory entity. Visualization was quite clear as long as I kept her moving and even when visualizing something based on (memory of) a picture I had to keep her smiling or other facial expressions.

I think from now on I should do the cross-legged sessions only in the mornings and keep them short (as they already are). Or work on my back muscles :D.

 

Cognitive bias of the day; Confirmation bias - a tendency of people to favor information that confirms their beliefs or hypotheses.

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dreampunk

Log entry #6 26.12.2012

 

Started the day with a short morning session of visualization. About six minutes of visualizing her facial features. Nothing miraculous happened.

 

After work had a nap. After waking up I shut my eyes after turning off the alarm and tried to force the square and found it easy and could repeat almost at will and made it in different sizes. It was like the static of the phosphenes but definite black or lack of static forming the square.

 

Then session solely about the phosphene control (or should I say square forming). Lasted 20 minutes. Didn't have any success and got frustrated and stopped.

 

I think I will be having one more session today, beginning with visualization and trying to form the GOD DAMNED SQUARE until I succeed.

I have a strong feeling this is the key element of the whole phenomenon, being able to affect your perceptions. I'm still planning on following my plan, but I'm moving the imposition exercises far earlier than I originally thought. Depending on my ability to force the god damned square and what follows, I might abandon the visualization exercises completely and just impose the entity bit by bit. But until then I'll visualize daily.

 

Logical fallacy of the day; Appeal to probability - assumes that because something could happen, it is inevitable that it will happen.

Also somewhat related interesting links http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/11/111207-hypnosis-hallucinate-color-psychology-brain-science-health/ http://www.psychosomaticmedicine.org/content/28/4/351.full.pdf

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dreampunk

Log entry #7 29.12.2012

 

Last two days have been both mentally and physically exhausting and had only so much time and motivation that I didn't have any sessions.

 

Today's sessions lasted 20 and 10 minutes. First one was earlier, began by visualization exercise and ended with square forming. Then took a nap about 15 minutes and immediately had a square forming session. Nothing spectacular really.

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dreampunk

Log entry #8 30.12.2012

 

Had a square forming session, lasted 30 minutes.

Managed actually to form a square about once or twice. Got quite relaxed, at some point near the end, the static of the phosphenes sort of stopped moving and became clear so to speak. The static was easy to observe as it was not fleeting and morphing anymore and then it was stripped of all color except black and white. After a while of that the darkness became three-dimensional and I found out that it was quite easy to clearly visualize almost anything for a short time, 5 to 30 seconds. Faces, buildings and objects began to appear, basic hypnagogic imagery.

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