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MagicHats' tulpa digest


MagicHats

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6/7/13 - 6/14/13

 

Not much happened besides working on my hypothetical theory of familiars, Things created that are simillar to both tulpa and servitors, being more spontaneous and not taking as much time to develop and work on creating than tulpae, yet more animated and more work than servitors to a degree. I Theo, Cora and Kuroka that because they popped up with little to no work but are very animate and very similar to tulpae. Thess is a full tulpa because I put many hours of work and she has the power to deviate, something the others seemed to have the potential for but just don't seem to do, which is very uncharacteristic of tulpa since it's a given that they'll have some relatively large changes over creating them. Thess started out as a male blue coyote to be fair, while the others haven't really deviated in the slightest besides maybe voice and personality. Sure they may be content with staying the way they are but it makes me wonder whether or not they can have major deviations at all.

 

To more tulpa matters we've decided to go ahead with the making of the seccond tulpa, Thess, Elyse, cora and kuroka are all okay with me progressing like that. I've given them lots of attention and now that school's out I will have lots of time to get working on this seccond tulpa. I will also update my signature soon.

 

I doubt anybody would really care about my little idea of seccondary tulpae/familiars, since it seems like there's a clear cut between tulpa and servitors(while my seccondary tulpa/familiars fall inbetween there). They know it will take some work to make a decent seccond tulpa and there may be some interesting outcomes but it'll certainly be quite the experience.

 

I've also been thinking about the positive effects of tulpa. While I have dabbled in other brain stuff like phantom limbs and lucid dreaming, I've really had to put some work into tulpa making since it's not a simple walk in the park(neither is lucid dreaming or phantom limbs). On one hand it can help with putting things into other perspectives, like if you had a tulpa that had very different opinions than you(this is thess in a nutshell, while we agree on a lot of things she can get very passionate about her opinions while I like to keep them to myself.She thinks that hooters/tilted kilt/restaurants of that nature are very sexist towards women while I think it's the restaurant's/their staff's choice on how they present themselves).

 

It can also teach you some very good skills depending on what you do with your tulpa.

 

Thess is still a master cardgame player when she posseses me(she seems to only posses me in order to play card games, her favorite pastime). I need to tell her sometime that i'd like to play some card games by myself some more.It's not that I don't like seeing her beat everybody I know at cards, it's just I'd actually like to play the card games sometimes. We played go fish in school on one of the last days, she wiped the floor with my acquaintance(not really a friend but on good terms). Me and thess switched off from time to time in that game and while i'm good at card games, she's a boss.

 

I'll get to some other stuff now. I'm getting a driving liscence soon and while my tupper/familiars won't be allowed to drive as of yet, they like the idea of driving to pretty places.

 

And also something I haven't really mentioned is that it's a hobby of mine to go birdwatching/feeding that Elyse has picked up. I haven't seen that many birds as of late besides the migratory birds(mostly swallows) that have taken nesting up in my school. Some came out today to my bird feeder and Elyse is happy the consrtuction work beside my house hasn't scared all of the birds off besides the persistent larger ones in my area(Some scrub jays and crows). Got to see some Chestnut-backed Chickadees as well as some more common chickadees and house finches/sparrows.

 

I've also been thinking about how this would affect me long term. I know my tulpae may fade away back into my mind someday if I decide it's not worth keeping up anymore but I don't think it would be like outright killing them. Since I view them as essentially part of my Consciousness I don't see them running off with my life or being in control by force, rather I may just see them fade into essentially the back of my mind because i'm the head honcho of me. kind of like growing up out of an imaginary friend it would be painless if it were to end and I don't think me or the tuppers would be hurt in any way. It's just a weird way of thinking, like losing an interest in something and then looking back at it, or looking at an old drawing. I do see them sticking around for some time though, just because i'm having depressing thoughts about whether or not I want to keep my tulpa or if it will be a depressing thing won't mean i'll just get rid of them right now.

 

If anything it would be parts fading into a whole seamlessly.

The causal tulpamancer.

Tulpa - Tess(Complete tulpa), Cora

 

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6/14/13 - 6/17/13

 

I've been giving some thought as to what I'd like my next tulpa project to be, since I'm really going to make another one and it's not going to be one that just pops up in my head. I'm quite satisfied with the end result of thess, (kind of an opposite to me in personality but still very simmilar, i'm still a little frustrated she didn't make her mindvoice any different from mine.She does occasionally sound like elizabeth from bioshock infinite but it's not common). Her final general form is nice too(A woodkin as I dubbed it but essentially a mix between a fawn, something vaguely feline and a deer, with white fur covering most of her body, dark red hair and some interesting eyes, dark red and dark purple/violet. Very plain but her choice in clothing makes up for it).

 

I'd like this next tulpa to work out in a different way. While thess is more of a social butterfly and a bit hard headed(as opposed to me being a wallflower that goes with the flow), I'd like this one to be more of a median in personality between me and Thess. I've also come up with a few ideas for how they would look(of both genders, just in case there's a switch in that).

 

Sure some people would say that with tulpa you should let them pick out how they look on but I found that with thess it was a good idea to come up with some ideas for looks if they really can't do it on their own for some reason(thess had a lot of problems getting a form and sticking to it, she just wound up as a sort of blue glitchey fog/cloud thing for a while before I came up with a human look that she started editing and modifying from).

 

I'm going to look up some user made guides on tulpa creation as well as pick out some more personality traits before I hunker down and make this seccond tulpa.

 

Thess also brought it up that since she and Elyse(who still keeps the name theo as a middle name for some reason) did something pretty nice for me. I realized that my original intention for a tulpa was kind of selfish but she really has gotten the job done with that original personal problem that keeps persisting(I won't elaborate because it's personal and this isn't my /blog/, it's my records of my tulpa's progress and my commentary on it.)

 

Now looking back on it I guess I might have gone about it a little wrong with tulpa stability(thess says that although she's grateful that I let how she looks be for the most part completely up to her, she really would have appreciated some help with the stuff. She doesn't hold it against me at all since she was my first. She kept splitting herself up and putting them together and really had a hard time figuring things out because I thought I was doing her justice by essentially not helping her with how she should look. Some of the weird shennanigans mentioned on the first page are a result of this, I just was failing to see it for what it was, no "past rouge tulpa" b.s., Thess was mainly the catgirl[nyqua] which then went to ysos which then went to Jiko with me kind of thinking she was still Ysos, the whole story's long and confusing but to TL;dr it, She really didn't have any idea what she was doing and was trying everything she could to until I kind of combined the two halves of her into one and that whole realization).

 

I'm hoping that with the creation of my second full tulpa, things might go better with some help here and there from Me, Thess, Elyse, Cora, and Kuroka.

The causal tulpamancer.

Tulpa - Tess(Complete tulpa), Cora

 

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6/17/13 - 6/19/13

 

Calm, Creative, Smart, Kind, Gentle, Responsible, and Reflective are the traits I've picked out for this new tulpa(as appossed to extroverted, optimistic, observant, Active and Brave/bold for thess). I've just started creating the seccond tulpa and I think I might be able to have a good outcome after some more personality development. I've already come up with a few looks for her(My biggest mistake with thess was I didn't come up with a look for her going into it so I didn't know what to expect). After some work I can already feel some progress in this new one but it's going to take a few days at the least before she starts becoming responsive in any way, nevermind vocally(It took quite some time before thess was completely vocal and we did have some troubles). Some other traits I will add in will be affectionate and loyal.

 

I hope that working on personality actively(with breaks) for a few minutes/hours at a time while passively checking up on the other tulpae will help make things bearable, because while I'm great at passive forcing, active forcing is where things get tough for me.

The causal tulpamancer.

Tulpa - Tess(Complete tulpa), Cora

 

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6/19/13 - 6/20/13

 

This new tulpa has been progressing pretty well so far. Sure I haven't actually put her(metaphorically) in the body I made for her yet, she seems to be going very well progress for a full on second tulpa.Me and thess have both been working on her(I do most of the work but thess helps by putting in a little extra personality forcing for me every once in a while).Sure i'm only getting waves of emotions so far, but to be fair It took at least 3/4 days until thess could really start talking and relaying information to me. She only appears to me so far as a purple orb with white eyes. Occasionally she pops up as a rabbit but it's consistently been the orb form for her. She's very observant and seems keen on watching me/Thess/Elyse/whoever's there and seems to be learning through observation as well as forcing.

 

6/20/13 - 6/21/13

 

I've put her in the body and she seems to like it so far. She's great with communicating through emotions and other means but she still has yet to say anything besides some fleeting thing she said this morning while I was still groggy and thess was trying to get me out of bed(she's a morning person, i'm not). Her voice(or at least i'm assuming this was her voice, could just have been thess messing with me) was very light/high pitched and kind of Musical-ie voice like maybe something you'd hear out of a disney movie.

 

Her name that she has picked out is ryine(pronounced like Rhine) and her looks so far is a average girl with grey hair and a green/red robe outfit.She seems to be like a angel/harpy since she has several bird like traits, including wings, birdlike legs/feet and a few more things. She's very nice, she just doesn't seem to get the hang of talking and if that doesn't start working out soon I may start parroting her to get her used to talking(it won't be excessive, just some stuff to have her get the hang of it.

The causal tulpamancer.

Tulpa - Tess(Complete tulpa), Cora

 

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6/21/13 - 6/23/13

Ryine's picked out a nice nickname for herself after ryine. The full name she picked out is Lexie "ryine" jones/wilde. I really don't know what my tulpa's thing is for full names since I don't ever address them by their full names often and they may not need to use them for a long time.

 

She's gotten better about communicating but it's via emotions as well as little intrusive thoughts to me(they don't have a voice and it's only been little things). She's also been interacting with thess as well as Elyse, cora and kuroka. They all get a long pretty well, it's nice that Ryine hasn't gotten any bad feedback/interaction. I don't see Ryine talking much very soon but I know she's making great progress and is getting closer to becoming vocal, or at least close to as vocal as thess is(not to compare the two but thess's completely vocal).

The causal tulpamancer.

Tulpa - Tess(Complete tulpa), Cora

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

6/23/13 - 6/27/13

 

Ryine's taken to being called Lexi. She hasn't deviated a lot.As much progress she's been making(and a lot in the personality/visualization department), she hasn't even spoken a word. I'm worried about starting to parrot her just yet, even if a little bit of it may help her, it seems like she's just shy, nervous and doesn't know exactly what to say. I think she's worried i'm going to not like her for some reason. She's very active in interacting and I can tell she's getting along just fine with my other tulpae. It's just different because she communicates so far using emotions she projects onto me as well as behavior/facial ques. She and thess are really close(like how elyse and cora are close). The two of them share interests in videogames, especially pokemon(they love nuzlocke challenges and thess's up to the 3rd gym in her run).

 

 

6/27/13 - 7/4/13

 

I think they've all been developing very well. Lexi isn't talking but I have a very good feel of her personality and my other tuppers just love her.I think I may have to start puppeting her to get her to start talking, though not enough to become controlling. They're really excited for the fourth of july thing I'm doing and the holiday in general. I'm planning to redo the wonderland house a little bit, because while I can visualize my tuppers and their wonderland Olvea, their house is the only place I can't visualize. I really don't know why but I think I may just start from scratch there again. I can imagine some of my tupper's rooms, it just seems like there is no house in between the rooms/outside of their house. I hope you guys have a good 4th of july.

The causal tulpamancer.

Tulpa - Tess(Complete tulpa), Cora

 

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7/4/13 - 7/7/13

 

I think I may take a break from tulpa. Not necessarily saying that I'm done and all my tuppers die, just saying i'm going to take a break from them for a while because I don't think I can keep up with them for a while, so I put them in a bit of a sleep and maybe after the break I'll decide then whether or not to continue or if I should stop all together. There have been some positives coming out of this whole experience but since I was only going to be doing the thing for what may have been a short time it was very educational. I know my tuppers will be okay with this, i'm just going to take a break, do stuff on my own with my whole head and think about whether or not i'd like to continue after this "trial period", since my origional goal was to essentially see if this could work and help me, and it did.

 

Tuppers are like children/pets in some respect, it's much more long term than say, a toy. I don't know if I necessarily want to keep up with it all for years on end at the same time is it worth all the work put into it? I'll make it a goal when I start up again to develop Lexi into a full tulpa since she was still in the works(she couldn't really talk besides imitating my real life best friend, which would be questionable if lexi /wants/ to model herself as somebody else completely).

 

I just kind of want it to be on a positive note since I don't want it to be like I suddenly hate tulpae, i'm just going to decide if I really want to continue in the long run. My tulpae will be on something like a pause mode rather than dissipating them, because that would be harsh for just a break. If I were to stop altogether that would be a different story but since it's just a break I won't be dissipating them.

The causal tulpamancer.

Tulpa - Tess(Complete tulpa), Cora

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

7/7/13 - 8/2/13

 

Wow it's been a long time since i've posted.

 

After taking a nice long break I think I'll just stick with thess if I decide to go back to tulpa forcing, since 5 is a bit more than I can handle.Granted I didn't understand the gravity of tulpa making and while thess is a completely nice and at this point completed tulpa(I've done a little forcing in this break).

 

Most of my other tulpa's have been traits of thess and while I'm just kind of putting them back in thess I think I may just wait a little longer before I really get back to it if I decide to get back on the metaphorical saddle. Thess is pretty much okay with this and being a singular tulpa if I were to continue. I've been talking this over with her and giving her attention so she doesn't fade out of existence.

 

I really haven't been doing a lot of exciting things this summer and while on the break thess has been doing stuff in the wonderland, she's been thinking about redoing things and making it look nice. I think she'll be put into a bit of a coma for next week because i'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled and since i'm getting put under I'd hate for the anaesthetic to mess with the either of us. Thess has been really into videogames as of late, and just loves ni no kuni.

 

I'll still work on Lexi after a while and I'll edit the signature to be more accurate to my tulpa situation. Just wanted to give you guys an update here.

The causal tulpamancer.

Tulpa - Tess(Complete tulpa), Cora

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

8/2/13 - 8/13/13

 

Wisdom teeth got pulled. That went pretty well, no adverse affects and Thess got over it pretty fine after I got over the after effects of general anesthetic.

 

I think I'll reset Lexi and start working on her again after I get some important real life stuff done. I feel bad for not having a lot of material to put here, since me and thess have been chilling and sorting things out. Thess's nuzlocke challenge she's doing took a bit of a downturn when almost all of her pokemon died. I think I may put up a comic on that while she's doing her nuzlocke. I did try to take a driving permit test today(don't ask because this is a blog about my tulpa, not a blog about my life) and she made a pretty sassy comment when I didn't pass it.

 

Watched howl's moving castle with thess. She loves that movie as much as I do. We really should do another movie night because she really wants to see another disney movie and I think I'll pick one of the ones on netflix.

 

Me and Thess have been really supportive of eachother during all of this and I think I don't mind having her in my head long term since she turned out pretty well. I'm going through an interesting thing right now and while she's very supportive, I think i'll have to stick with what I said earlier and rework on Lexi because she essentially died/faded out because lack of attention and I think I'll have to rehash her to get her going again. But that will be in a while because me and Thess are going to be busy and I'd hate to have a repeat of what happened to lexi if I started working on her again.

The causal tulpamancer.

Tulpa - Tess(Complete tulpa), Cora

 

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8/13/13 - 8/17/13

 

(NOTE to me; pronounced "tess" normally, She's been really interesting about her name and how it's spelled. It usually sticks to the wikipedia page information [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teresa ]. thess is my little nickname for her since she picked out Theresa as a name)

 

I asked thess and lexi recently to give me some space because i've been on a self searching thing lately because I really should know more about myself as well as my tulpa and the whatnot. I've been kind of examining myself and whether or not it's normal for teens to go through that I figure that it's needed for growing up in a sense, knowing more about yourself. There's been some interesting things that popped up but i'm not going into that cause this is my /tulpa/ blog, not my blog. Makes me think I should get a blog for that but now's not the time. I've asked her and lexi to interact with me more now because my self discovery thing is sort of done(at least for now).

 

I think I'll start really working on lexi(I've mentioned this before but I had some work done on lexi but I couldn't get a lot of work in on her due to real life issues. There is progress but she's been pretty much stagnant for a while. She may perk up and have made more progress by inadvertently narrating to thess but i'll never know until I try) starting tomorrow and give an update from there.

 

Whether or not people watch this i'm pretty happy to say that the 2,361 is encouraging, even if it's just a look over that first page. I don't mind since this is more of a Self tracker for my tulpa than a public blog, it's still very nice to get those views.

 

EDIT: I decided to kind of poke her to see if Lexi will respond and she did in a really interesting way. She drew herself after I asked thess to draw something to see if she was rusty(thess likes drawing).

 

Thess said Lexi was drawing and I asked her some questions, Lexi replied by writing(She has different handwriting than both me and thess) and asked If I could go find her a voice she could use in our thought conversations.

 

She took after my 'muse' for drawing and seems to kind of combined her old self I gave her and my muse, even combining the names of her and my 'muse'(I use a inspiration thing for art called a muse). Her full new name is Willamina Alexa "Lexi" Wilde. It's nice to see such an immediate response but I'll still start working on her seriously tomorrow.

 

And also a bit of a note, i'm not quite the serious tulpamancer and I regard them(my particular tulpae) as similar to imaginary friends because that is what they are in essance, it's just been proven much easier for children to be more imaginative and possibly do things close to this(hence 'imaginary friend) and creativity because they haven't been taught facts that would rule out certain things. This is a positive experience that is a learning experience on how to do things and perspectives as well as potentially develop friends.

 

I've been a bit unsure about still sticking to the tulpa thing because all the negative reaction when brought up in other places but people can argue that there's a lot of positive things that can come out of tulpas from certain standpoints.I think I might bring up a discussion about that.

The causal tulpamancer.

Tulpa - Tess(Complete tulpa), Cora

 

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