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Fourfiction's an idiot


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Tried doing open-eyed visualization. Im a fucking convert, i love it. In fact I plan to continue with it after this post. A question, though: what I do is pretty much impose her standing and then I look over her body to get the details in. Is this a good idea or too tedious?

fourfiction, the idiot.

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Anything you think works for you. Sometimes I like looking at the details instead of just the big picture. There's so many imposition methods, you just kinda want to find the one that works for you the best. If you think it doesn't work too well then eh, try something else instead. Everything you do is progress anyways even if it's slower than something else, so you're never taking a step back because you tried something.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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Huh, I guess thats a good way of looking at it.


This morning I was woken up by a horrible alarm clock so I could have time to print something out before class. She doesn't want to get up and I'm perfectly fine with visualizing her sleeping there.

fourfiction, the idiot.

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people still think I have Miku around by now, and I keep reminding them that she's dead. Kinda.

So, because class is shitty to begin with, I put my head on my desk and tried to go back to our original wonderland apartment. It was cold, dusty, and utterly silent as fuck. Totally creepy. I expected to find her there where she'd proceed to fight me

again

, but she wasn't there. There was an old empty form I had used for another tulpa lying in the corner. I threw it away/out the window. I 'conjured' Miku up despite my hate for doing such a thing and put her on the mattress so I could look over her but all that 'arrived' was her soul - which was the green energy ball shit. It was just sitting there like a refrigerator sits in the fucking kitchen so I don't know what to do now. Again.

 

/drama

fourfiction, the idiot.

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So. I went back into wonderland and chatted with Miku. It all went fine and dandy until she suddenly piped up and said "I'm scared." At this point it felt like I parroted and like my own thought, like any other tulpas of mine I've interacted with, but I rolled with it because of the situation and circumstance and reassured her that she's fine and not in any danger.

Shits weird, yo.

fourfiction, the idiot.

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Last night I went into wonderland and narrated a lot. Eventually I had to end it cause I am severely sleep deprived.

This morning I had a bunch of pseudodreams, or what I call those half-dreams you have when you wake up but try to go back to sleep. Miku was in the last one and since it was sorta lucid I did some forcing.

fourfiction, the idiot.

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So I'm playing modern warfare 2 and I remember I should force today. I tell Miku I'll force at 4pm (in exactly 45 minutes) and keep playing. A few minutes later my connection explodes and I get a spam of error messages from the game. Basically I cannot connect to modern warfare 2's servers and shit. At this point I tell Miku good job, and turn off the xbox.

 

also this.

fourfiction, the idiot.

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I've pretty much settled again on having two tuppers.

Miku I work on with Irish_'s Method, while I use Fede's Meth for Kat. Kind of like an experiment, but who knows.

fourfiction, the idiot.

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I think I'll be leaving the forums for a while, possibly months, while I focus more on life and shit. Will still work on tulpas, but figuring out what I'm going to do in life soon renders me very busy - especially considering joining the military at 18 to pay for school and other reasons. So, goodbye for some time.

 

Oh, and the forums have gone to hell blah blah the community isn't the same as it used to be blah blah

no I won't find Irish in the Navy

blah blah

 

EDIT: 69 posts in this thread fucking hell

fourfiction, the idiot.

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