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sparkofinsanity

The horrors of working on narration

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Lets start from the top. I started working on my tulpa on December 11, 2012. I spent 5 days working on her personality. 2 hours a day, roughly from 9 to 11 PM. Yes I know I could have put more work into that. Anyways, after those five days, I spent around 2 weeks trying to work on visualization. I spent an hour a night imagining her on my bed with me (nothing sexual of course), right before I went to sleep. I listened to music with lyrics while doing this. I gave up on visualization after seeing NO results. Couldn't even see her outline, I could only see her if I closed my eyes. Picking up where I left off, I started working on narration. I have been doing that ever since. Following Chupi's guide, I am starting to believe that very short and quick answers like "yes" and "no" are her trying to talk to me. However, I am also terrified that I'm pupating her. I talk to her as much as I can, such as: when I'm playing video games, reading a novel, watching a movie, listening to music, and when I'm just bored. It's been several weeks, and I haven't been keeping track of the hours, but she hasn't said ANYTHING that I can distinguish as her actually trying to speak with me, and not my mind.

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Oh, but lad, there isn't anything distinguishing. You're part of the same mind. No wonder the thoughts get a bit muffled up ("psychologically" speaking). To quote the advice of Pinkie, one of my tuppers:

 

"Believe what you want."

 

And the simple way you're supposed to interpret this is that you're most likely going to get multiple answers at one point or another throughout your progress. In a time like that, one of the only things you have left is to simply pick the answer you think is matching her personality, and believe that answer is her; if you get a rude and nice answer and her personality is nice, be my guest and try to guess which answer is most likely coming from her. When you realize what's her and what's not her and you've become used to this practice, everything will proceed much smoother.

 

My advice is based on this.

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