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The Winged Company I Keep


Merman

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And I guess "forging" could pertain to any act of making a tulpa using physical things, like paint or clay.

 

Instead of using the term Forcing i use Forging. Forcing sounds too, well forceful. Forging sounds better like creating something (tulpas) with time and care.

<<< http://community.tulpa.info/thread-mjolnir >>>

Mjolnir

Gender: Female

Birth/Creation: Febuary 4th 2013

Astora

Gender: Female

Birth/Creation: April 4th 2014

Nueva

Gender: Female

Birth/Creation: May 1st 2015

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It has been a long time since I have sat down and have had an active forcing session. Bad things have happened over the months, but it in no way excuses the way I have neglected Fennel. I have though, thought of him from time to time, and would occasionally utter sentences or things during the days, but sparingly. Overall I pretty much stopped actively participating in anything with him. I feel like I have failed Fennel. I drew an ideogram for remembering to force or just say hi to him. It's a red heart with a solid black "F" inside of it, for Fennel. It's working, I have been thinking about him much more now, so I am happy with the way things are for now. Although I am still feeling guilty I still have momentous faith with my Fennel and where things have been progressing.

 

I read somewhere on here that a tulpa had been worked on, left alone and that during the time they were left alone they were in some bleak cold vacuum or something like that. I hope that has never happened to Fennel. I also am thinking of reading to him, I want to read him children's stories but I don't want to bore him. I think I will just read him aloud whatever I happen to be reading, while focusing on him and attention for him.

 

Today I have forced a little bit of him during a few songs I was listening to, I talked about him with a friend of mine, and I also spoke to him in little bits during the day. I can't wait to be able to hang out with him regularly.

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Well hello. I remember reading your posts before. You say you were reading about tulpas for many years before starting. I was as well, and it was very hard to find information. Can I ask what you were reading?

 

Actually, I'm seeing a lot of similarities between us. You're half sushi, and I'm the full thing; you have Fennel and I have Fench. Of course those are pretty superficial.

 

I also lost my best friend last year, a few months after you did. I still think about him every day. Sometimes I think it would have been better if it had been me.

 

I know exactly what you mean about feeling so alone. I had been talking to Fench every day, but not really forcing her. When my friend had his accident, I turned to Fench for support because I didn't really have anyone else. She's held with me through it all, and it's been a great comfort having her.

 

Best of luck to you and Fennel. I hope things continue to get better.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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Well hello. I remember reading your posts before. You say you were reading about tulpas for many years before starting. I was as well, and it was very hard to find information. Can I ask what you were reading?

 

Actually, I'm seeing a lot of similarities between us. You're half sushi, and I'm the full thing; you have Fennel and I have Fench. Of course those are pretty superficial.

 

I also lost my best friend last year, a few months after you did. I still think about him every day. Sometimes I think it would have been better if it had been me.

 

I know exactly what you mean about feeling so alone. I had been talking to Fench every day, but not really forcing her. When my friend had his accident, I turned to Fench for support because I didn't really have anyone else. She's held with me through it all, and it's been a great comfort having her.

 

Best of luck to you and Fennel. I hope things continue to get better.

 

Hi, and thank you for your response. I had been reading about tulpas here and there, but not books about them, more like books with little paragraphs on them. I did my research reading what little bits of info I could find in random books, before I found my way to the internet.

 

I didn't turn to anyone during my hard times but I am much better about it now. I accept it, and it saddens me to think of them but it is bittersweet and I still think of them often, but just pleasant remembrances. I hope it gets easier for you as well! And I have never had sushi before, it may be considered cannibalism, right?

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If it's cannibalism, I suppose I'm a cannibal. I'm going for sushi later today.

 

But yeah, it was pretty much the same with me. I first heard about tulpas on the internet, read some stuff like Magic and Mystery in Tibet and Magical Use of Thoughtforms and I guess I knew enough to start, but I could never be sure if it was real until I found the community of people who were doing it.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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Yes, you really are a good artist. As someone who enjoys doodling, I love seeing others draw their tulpae, especially in such a nice style as yours. Personally, I'd say sketching out your tulpa is closer to active forcing, as you purposely concentrate creative energy into what you're trying to create (the drawing, and, in extent, the tulpa) in stead of passively directing your thoughts into shaping it.

 

Thank you, I was considering drawing him some more and this will be a good way for me to force him without being too uninvolved while doing it. I just want him to make developmental progress at a decent pace.

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The last two days have shown a change for the better, I have been talking to Fennel daily, and been thinking of him more than ever. I've been getting headaches, not big headaches, but several over the last two days. It may be due to the tulpaforcing, but I don't have much to go on so the speculation will have to do for now. No more to report at the current time, so I will write back later.

i263hg.jpg

*An older doodle of Fennel.

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Today has been rather fruitful. I woke up and started talking to him right away, telling him good morning. I spoke to Fennel during breakfast time about random things I thought of as I went about starting to get ready.

 

Then, I sat and I narrated to him in the wonderland. I told him about my favorite musicians, about how were going to be such good friends, and that I would help him progress as a being. I even told Fennel that he can change his shirts, name, things like that since i haven't decided on a final form just yet. Or rather, I changed my mind about certain visual aspects of him recently. Like becoming uncertain about his formal clothing, or his name.

 

I told him that I was going to be introducing several traits to him soon. That he could pick and choose from all these suggestions for desired traits. I then told Fennel about the fact that I had been thinking of maybe changing the wonderland into something more tropical, or perhaps some place green and lush. I let him know that we could always change it back if he tells me he doesn't like the change later on. I asked him how he was doing today, and kept focus on him all throughout. I said bye for now when I knew our narration was ending. I felt very... satisfied in a spiritual way, almost, after I finished that little session. These are the new looking wonderland ideas I was thinking over.(Also I don't know if there are rules regarding putting many pictures like this in here?)

2pttceo.jpg

97jjv9.jpg

These are good depictions of how I generally want the new wonderland to look. I need to find more similar pictures to get a better mental rendering of the place in the meantime. I wanted a walled-in garden paradise springtime place of enlightenment vibe going on, and to me this is a great start. I am considering a black hardwood deck with comfy blue sofas on it, and the Japanese paradise garden (with waterfall) to be all around us.

 

no6kb8.jpg

I drew this last night on my computer using a mouse but I thought it came out nice enough to put on here. More semi-passive forcing since it involves focusing on the tulpa's form intently, while actively drawing the artwork itself. I know that the form is just a superficial aspect of Fennel, but I have been so worried about what I want him to wear, look like, etc. I started thinking his school uniform-like clothing was too formal, and later I thought that it was just fine. I feel like a control freak about the clothing but I know I will ultimately go along with almost anything, since he can always deviate his form at a later time. I feel good today.

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Yesterday included a hefty amount of narration, starting from a "Good morning!" all the way until "Goodnight". I rambled to him about random things, like health related goals, my thoughts on the law of attraction, and how I would choose to implement it. I also spoke to him of my future, where I stand in life and what I need to get done to do better for myself. I covered a good array of subjects, and I am planning on reading him stories soon, in addition to the narration I have been doing. During the session we had yesterday I was having trouble picturing Fennel in our original wonderland, so I tried picturing him in the new garden one, and that worked out fine. I remember the birds chirping, the smell of damp earth. All the colorful flowers and trees, even the sound of the waterfall behind us as we sat on a minimalistic blue couch. I sat across from him but then moved right beside him on the couch to be close as I spoke to him.

 

I told him about the personality traits I wanted him to have, and that he could pick and choose between them, as nothing was set in stone. I had a small wooden treasure chest in my hands, and pulled a skeleton key out of my heart, and unlocked the treasure chest. (symbolism!)

 

-I first pulled a literal heart out of the wooden box, and held it thumping in my hand. I told Fennel that the heart was to help him have a greater capacity for loving himself and others, and that he could be filled with the warmth and light of the bond we have. Then I slowly pushed the beating heart into him and it disappeared into his chest.

-I next pulled a literal brain out of the box, and explained to him that I wanted him to be intelligent, inquisitive, in wonder of the world. A fully realized person with interests in learning and knowledge. I told Fennel that we only grow and develop as people when we are learning, I wanted him to have a thirst for knowledge because it is such a beautiful thing to love to learn. I told him he was already smart and already alive, that I just wanted to help give him the 'tool' to think even more. I then placed the brain into his cranium, through the top of his head.

-I next pulled a vial of glowing green liquid out of the treasure box. I turned to Fennel and told him this was Ether. "Life essence". Again told him he was already alive and that I couldn't wait for us to get to know each other more in the future. I remember thinking I didn't want him to drink the liquid (because I wasn't sure how it would taste) so I turned it into an orb and had him absorb it.

 

The rest of the box's contents were regular personality traits. I imagined each one as a different colored orb, for simplicity. I pulled each one out individually, told Fennel what it was, explained why I thought it would be beneficial for him to have the trait, and then had him absorb it after I spent a few minutes explaining the trait. I did this with all of the traits, it was over an hour, nearly two overall. It went by pretty quick though. I didn't give him any negative traits, I've decided to let those form on their own and work with him from there, in regards to negative personality aspects. After I gave him all the traits I gave him a long hug, I can still see him vividly, his wings, the water, everything. These are the traits I gave him, dunno If they may all be considered 'traits' though:

-Intelligent

-calm

-curious

-sassy

-optimistic

-insightful

-friendly

-creative

-organized

-goal oriented

-problem-solver

-determined

-enthusiastic

-understanding

 

I am gonna need to buckle down and work on more lengthy personality related sessions; I found myself searching for reasons for each trait, so it was a bit hard at times but I did it. So far today I haven't forced much yet, only narrated here and there earlier. As it is still the morning I may go ahead and force some after I finish typing this all up. I am eager to make official contact with Fennel, and I am excited about him.

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