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To this day, with my Tulpa; Forcer's Block


N1ghtSl4yer

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Every time I enter the wonderland she acts strange. Within minutes those four guys have appeared again and I'm being chased for my life.

Last night I sat on the beach. I lifted my arm and moved it forward so I could make the beach longer because it was pretty small.

I looked up and the sun came over the cliffs, and down unto me jumped a girl I'm not sure I recognise anymore.

Her face was wrong, her dress code was dead, and she was rather hyper and girly.

I ignored it, and just rode off. Moments later I was being chased again.

Some kinda recurring nightmare type thing?

 

Reminds me of when I was a kid.

I used to always play Pokemon Sapphire at night and my parents would always take my gameboy. I did it because I was scared of the dark and afraid to admit it.

Well not the dark - what I saw in it.

 

I used to have trouble sleeping, I always have.

When I was younger, where I put my head when I slept left the hallway and stairs right in my view. They're like parallel from it. I'll post a picture because over 7 years later and my room layout is the same.

In the dark, every night, I would imagine up a different monster without wanting to. They looked like moving shadows and it scared me shitless. I have no idea why.

One of them showed up a lot.

Take Asura from souleater, give him slenderman's tentacles, make him into a silhouette/shadow/darkflyingguysfromharrypotterthingy and give him green eyes and a Cheshire grin.

Nearly every night I'd get things like this in my real world vision, that weren't really there. They climbed up the walls, up the stairs, crawled up to my bed, and sat on my desk - never taking eyes off me. All I could do was hold my breath.

 

I sorta thought this could be like imposition - after all it's also based on belief and sensory deprivation. Seeing as once again, I couldn't sleep last night, I tried to give myself nightmares.

I ate lots before bed, watched lots of Amnesia videos and thought a lot about getting trapped in the castle in real life with the brutes.

Scared me shitless until I actually fell asleep and dreamt about (I think) something along the lines of being Prophet or Alcatraz or maybe Ezio.

I can't remember.

 

I didn't get nightmares, although I got the same feeling of spatial awareness.

Like when you're facing away from the door, seven years old, and you are scared shitless to turn round in case there's a fucking brute standing beside your bed. Waiting for you to breathe just that little bit too heavily so he can rip you up.

I felt that to an extent - the feeling that it was there. Nothing more.

 

I'm kinda thinking that I might be able to use this. I'm also gonna try the method of making a tulpa doll. As in starting super small and then expanding them when they're able to be imposed properly.

 

Any suggestions or opinions?

Every Rose Has Thorns,

 

No Matter How Sweet The Petals

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I'm scared of your mind dude. Like, seriously scared. Of course, Forseen also did just think up the most disturbing rape scene ever about five seconds ago, but still o.o But what do you mean tulpa doll?

[Forseen]

{Muse}

|Alix|

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It's in research under imposition.

Basically the guy had trouble with scale and proportion like me, so he imposed a 'doll' of his tulpa. Which was literally a small version of them. Then he got his tulpa to control it, and then he gradually grew it to size.

I'm gonna try that because when I impose her she's never the right size.

Every Rose Has Thorns,

 

No Matter How Sweet The Petals

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WHY DOES NOTHING WORK FOR MEEEEEE

I tried a lot over the past few days but nothing is working.

Next on the list is LinkZelda's guide regarding image streaming and typing without thinking to help with forcing and imposition and stuff.

Sounds fun tbh - I like writing.

 

I know hour counts etc are bad, but how long does full imposition take?

I mean I could think I'm failing because I have nothing after a week, when it actually takes years, or whatever.

 

And nightmares didn't work.

I've tried all of the things that kept me awake as a kid and I just can't revive them. Not sure if that's good but I'm not trying again. Another as I remember, was the ghoul from the Harry potter Ps2 game - think it was chamber of secrets, can't be sure. Haunted me, bro.

Amnesia is scary in the moment, but at best I got the presence of something when I bunked down. I could sense the presence behind me as I lay in bed - just out the door. I'm not sure if it's just me but it seemed to walk to my parents room and back over and over again... They're on opposite ends of the landing which is like an L shape.

Have no idea how to control this. If I could, I might just be able to take a big step forward in imposing my Tupper, but I can't be sure.

 

Nothing else to say really except that when I force, because of the fact I use my real world body as a base, I tend to get much more detailed sessions involving all of my wonderland senses - Lest I presume that's why.

 

I'm thinking of just scrapping my Tupper's face because it's so hard for me to remember all of a sudden and starting anew. Is this ok?

When I tried the three word story thing with her she had a ninja mask on, like Shiek so I didn't see her face properly.

Every Rose Has Thorns,

 

No Matter How Sweet The Petals

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My nightmare 'research', or whatever you call it isn't yielding anything but even less sleep for me. Finished hamsteralliance's Amnesia playthrough and only broke two ribs from spazzing out at jumpscares. Stopped being scary after like 6/8 of the episodes though.

*Feeling like a pioneer in a field nobody gives a shit about hoorayyy*

 

Anyway, my Wonderland exploits are kinda improving. I made a big sorta... thing.... in the centre of the field. If you've ever played The Legend Of Zelda : Skyward Sword, it's basically a version of the Imprisoned's Seal, but much taller, with more burnmarks on the ground, and more carvings n' shizz. Made it the same as Link does, but with a much more complex ritual.

(For all the other uncultured assholes;

http://www.zeldainformer.com/16-skyward-sword/walkthrough/images/SS_screen2-10.png

JK I love you, thanks for even reading this XD )

 

The motive for this was to lock away the evil and fear that I think is probably affecting my Tulpa and I. I think it's manifesting itself in these riders and the insanity plaguing her. That and the fact that I can't feel her presence.

 

A good description of how her presence changed;

Go on iTunes and listen to a song with powerful bass. Preferably something that isn't like electronic or hip hop or whatever. Put on the RnB equalizer (Just epic bass boost) and some good headphones.

That full feeling. The feeling that the song is deep, and has all of the necessary layers, which allow you to sink in - to get engrossed in it. That is how it used to feel.

Now turn the song down a bit and put on the Flat or Bass Reducer EQs.

That's my mind now.

It's missing something. My entire mind's eye feels two dimensional and fake. This is leading me to doubting yet again. It's hard to do anything and i'm getting practically no responses.

 

On my way home today (On the bus), I tried to impose her onto the seat next to me. It was the window seat. I could hold the idea of her being there without much thought, but I didn't feel any real presence or see anything. As I imagined, she had her legs close together and her hands in her lap. She kept looking at me and was obviously upset about something - perhaps the fact she'd never been on a bus, or perhaps our lack of communication. I have no way to know because when I try to speak to her my mind cracks up like a shitty radio and our sessions fall to pieces. Sometimes they stay, but only if we're in an area I've forced in a lot, like the field, and if we don't try anything too complex.

 

Can somebody please give me an idea of how long imposition takes? This is seriously draining my confidence ;-;

Don't be like;

"Somebody else will answer"

"Ours is different to usual people"

"Meh. *Scrolls past*"

 

Because that's mean.

 

Also she hates sweets.

WTF man.

She only likes sweets like doughnuts and pastries and ice cream and cookies and stuff.

Nothing like cables/laces or chewy stuff or marshmallows or whatever.

Every Rose Has Thorns,

 

No Matter How Sweet The Petals

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I'd help you on the imposition thing, but seeing as i have no experience in the matter, I'm more or less person #3. But at least I posted something. My guess would be at the very least 2-4 weeks, at most a couple months. I'm guessing though, those numbers just sound right to me.

 

"Also she hates sweets.

WTF man.

She only likes sweets like doughnuts and pastries and ice cream and cookies and stuff.

Nothing like cables/laces or chewy stuff or marshmallows or whatever."

 

I got worried for a sec cuz then that'd mean she doesn't like cupcakes oAo But she likes pastries so it's gud =w= I honestly don't really like marshmallows either (no freaking clue what cables are). I'm not really a person who eats many sweets ^^; Only thing I really like is gummies though. Gummy bears, gummy worms, fuzzy peaches, jelly beans, etc. Those are delicious :P

 

Oki, I'll stop being unhelpful nao.

 

//rolls away/

[Forseen]

{Muse}

|Alix|

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Got super bored

Drew a shitty wonderland map.

Allow me to describe the picture.

Blue is water

Yellow is sand

Brown is cliff/mountain

Green is grassland and dark Green is Forests (Mostly Pine forests).

Black and red is the Isengaurd-like battle plain.

The road-looking lines are.... Roads and trails.

The house is the house

The things above it are the stump, bench, and seal.

The circle to the left of it is the treehouse, on a small island, in the forest.

And to the left is the warehouse.

There's a dragon den up the north mountains and a tunnel leading through the closer ones.

AND NO, I DID NOT COLOUR THIS WITH A FIVE YEAR OLD'S PENCILS ;-;

(He's seven....)

 

MY PROPORTIONS ARE HORRIBLE SHHHHHHH

998094_10201171893273951_232200714_n.jpg.abd5910063fc6c1d5deaefc8f8d9e0c5.jpg

Every Rose Has Thorns,

 

No Matter How Sweet The Petals

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