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Sands and Roswell magic woooooah


Sands

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Worked on this more yesterday for like another 20 minutes maybe? Didn't want to spam the thread too much, which is why I'm writing about it here today. This is some sort of diary, so I'd like to write everything here.

 

I started by speaking in my mind yesterday, it seems like I got a reaction of some sort when I called him by his name when I started the session. Pain on the right side of my head, sudden and pretty strong, but nothing too painful. I switched to talking to him aloud soon after starting, it was weird but not too awkward. I didn't get much feeling that way, though. I was pretty tired or maybe I did it wrong, not sure. I just don't think the feeling in the session was quite what it had been before. No sharp pains after the session either, but I felt a bit dizzy again and my eyes were tired. Some headache, though. I would like to think that the headaches are caused by the sessions, I have pretty long breaks between them and the after session pain goes away at some point, so my head's not hurting when I start doing my thing. Or maybe my brain's just not used to getting used or something! I got more pain on the left side by talking this way, by the way. Again I just went a bit deeper in some of the traits I introduced to him last time, even reminding him of the older ones now and then, and then throwing in some new ones.

 

That was yesterday's last session. I had today's first session a while ago. 30 minutes as usual, more personality. I did some talking aloud, some whispering and some mind talk. It seemed like when I started talking in my mind, I would quickly move onto whispering. Didn't feel too much, but I started with a horrible headache thanks to working with glue in poorly ventilated areas. The headache went away during the session, only to come back now that I'm writing this. I'm not sure if I felt anything in my head when saying his name today. I think I should write things I want to say to him about his personality and then read them. I'm not sure if I'll be able to concentrate and talk to him when I'm reading something, though. I should probably still write down detailed descriptions of everything, maybe I'll remember what I want to say better that way, even if I'll be unable to read them during the session.

 

Thinking about tulpas/tulpae/whatever is your preferred plural before going to sleep sure gives you tulpa related dreams. Can't remember anything about it, other than it had something to do with tulpas. Not even sure if it was about my tulpa or me making a tulpa or what.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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Another 30 minute session of working on personality just now. I waited for my headache to stop, before I started, so I could notice if something happened. And something sure happened, my head hurts a lot now. Very painful, mostly on the right side, but it hurts all over. I had to stop as I was starting to feel very sick, like I was about to throw up. There was that feeling in my stomach, as well as that odd, hot feeling all over me. I don't feel sick anymore, but my head still hurts like hell. Not sure if I want to have another session today, depends if this pain will go away or not. It's very hard to concentrate on anything right now and I would really just like to rest. I did work on some new personality traits, tying them to the old ones. I feel like I worked on these pretty hard and like they stuck, which is good, as they were important. Lots of repetition in all my sessions, but there's always lots of new things too, so I guess that's fine.

 

Either all this was a good reaction or I am actually getting sick. Sorry for possible typos, life is pretty painful right now.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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Well I didn't get any sicker and today I was feeling fine, so maybe yesterday's awful headache and sick feeling was caused by the session. I certainly hope so, it was the most I've had this far.

 

Had today's first session just now. A bit over 40 minutes this time, though at around 30 minutes I had a call and had to stop for a few minutes. I talk to him by whispering now, which I haven't said in the earlier reports and felt like I should say. I've gone over all the important personality traits I had in mind briefly now. I think now is when I should go over each of them again in more detail, but I should start writing them down first or I'll probably jump into the next trait too soon. Starting the session and saying his name seems to give me this pain on the right side of my head, more towards the back, like in one of my earlier sessions. I seem to have the most pain on the right side of the head overall, but talking about certain traits feels more on the left side. I wasn't in such pain like yesterday, so it was more pleasurable. I felt very relaxed and I could sort of feel my arms but sort of couldn't. Hard to explain, they were there and I could feel them, but it felt like they weren't connected to me. They were very heavy, though.

 

Headache now, but it's very light. I believe I have been working on a tulpa 3 hours now. Hopefully I'll be able to bump it to 4 by the end of this day.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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I had two 30 minute sessions with a 10 minute break in the middle. I mostly talked aloud. I felt some pain in my head now and then as well some muscle twitches. There was also one odd feeling that made me feel very hot inside for a while. Not sure where that came from. Maybe I just was feeling hot, but it was very sudden and made me stop talking while I was confused as to what I was actually feeling. It lasted for a short while. Also my left ear started feeling weird at one point, like my ear got stuffed by something from the inside, it sort of hurt but mostly felt weird. Ear's feeling fine now, but maybe I'll find out I'm having an ear infection soon.

 

This long session wasn't very painful at all and I'm going over the personality again. Feeling a bit light-headed now, but nothing too bad. I'm wondering if this session did anything as it's not hurting, but at least I felt something during it. Hard to say if it was tulpa related or just getting sick or making it up myself.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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Again, two 30 minute sessions with a short orange juice break in the middle. Not much pain or reactions this time, I think. Some now and then, but not that much. I feel like I didn't do a lot. I've gone through the personality traits for another time now, maybe I should try narrating along with more personality forcing now. I hope it's not too soon, but I'm not sure if it could hurt. Feeling pretty tired now, so maybe I did something after all. Hard to say.

 

Yesterday, as I was going to sleep, I was already sort of talking to him and asked him a question I can't remember. I got a painful feeling in the usual spot that seems to hurt every time I talk to him, but then it sort of left from that spot and bled everywhere in my head. It wasn't really painful anymore, but more of this weird pressure coming from the inside, being everywhere inside my head. It lasted for a while and it felt very weird. I'm not sure how you would do something like that, but it's pretty likely it was me doing it. It's a bit too early for him to pay me that much attention, I think? I'm happy if he proves me wrong, but I'm afraid I'm already puppeting him.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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Had a 30 minute session of more personality forcing. I felt it more in the form of headaches again, so that's reassuring. I am very tired now though, so no more sessions today. I've also been narrating to him, it's a bit odd and I'm not sure if I'm actually talking to him or myself, but I'm trying. Sometimes I feel something in my head when talking to him or when listening to music, but I don't know if it's him or me or just nothing. Tomorrow shall be my first day of narrating through the whole day, so that's kind of exciting. Hopefully I'll learn how to talk to him as I keep doing it.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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I've been narrating while doing stuff. I'm not sure if that too is supposed to feel in your head, but I feel it. Sometimes pain, sometimes just a feeling or a pressure. There certainly has to be some part of my brain for tulpas, as there's this one spot that keeps hurting the most, haha. I'll keep narrating, it's a bit easier to talk aloud now, but still a bit weird.

 

Had a session that lasted an hour just now, with a juice break in the middle. Kept going over the personality, but I probably rambled. No awful headache, but some, mostly pressure. I did feel it almost constantly and I managed to get pretty relaxed. Some muscle spasms. Now I'm just so very tired and keep just yawning all the time. It's nice that I've no longer gotten as bad of a headache or wanted to throw up like I once did, but it's hard to say if more pain means more progress and is better because of that. I have been telling him that he doesn't really want to hurt anyone and if he can already understand me, I suppose I could understand if he no longer wants to cause pain. But I don't mind pain, if it means progress.

 

Been working on this 6 and half hours now, if I can count. I am hoping it will be 7 hours by the end of this day, maybe I'll even be able to bump it to 7 and half, if I don't get too tired.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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Strange that you have a headache, Sands. From my personal experiences my mind may get tired, but no headaches have occured yet. In fact, sometimes I get this feeling like a dark, but warm light is inside of me while my surroundings have the same kind of light. That feels amazing, I tell you. A bit like an orgasm during sex, but without feeling anyone or anything sexual.

I suppose those headaches come from going through some blockade, not from anything your tulpa does to you.

 

I do see you're doing only tulpaforcing, but I've read nothing about narration. Do you talk to him throughout the day?

quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur

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I might be getting headaches because I feel they help me. Hard to say if they are caused by myself because omg it has to hurt!!!1 or if they happen because I concentrate. I certainly still have a feel - and just got a little stab in my head when I wrote that - of the session I had before. It's not very painful headache, but it's certainly something I can feel in my head. But as I've written a few times, once the pain was really bad and I had to stop or else the pain would've made me throw up. It could've been me getting sick, but it went away after a while, when I stopped.

 

Other kinds of feelings... Once I had a surge of heat going through my body when forcing and I don't quite know where it came from. Once I asked him a question before going to sleep and I got this slight pain in the usual spot, before it exploded everywhere in my head. It wasn't painful, but it was a strange feel. Can't say I know for sure it was him, but I'm not going to say it wasn't, if it was. We'll see, don't want to be rude if it is him trying his best. Both of them have certainly made me confused and think oh shit what is going on and I wouldn't mind having more of them.

 

I think I've written the word narration a few times in my posts, but most of them are about the personality sessions, so they must be easy to miss, haha. I started doing narration yesterday, only a bit though, as I started rather late in the day. Today I've been narrating when my mind hasn't been occupied, talked about food while cooking, explained things I'm doing and trying to sing with him. Not thinking about tulpas or him tends to make any feeling or pressure or pain in my head go away, but talking to him seems to get a reaction in the same spots, haha. Guess I'll be having a longer chat with him now that I'm going to take a shower.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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I just Ctrl+F'd narration and you're right, narration is mentioned. I blame it my not noticing it because of my shin crash I had earlier today..

About the headaches, I just got one for the first time during tulpaforcing. First it was a really slight headache, and we were discussing (mostly me talking still) what the source was. Then I felt a little bit lightheaded, and afterwards I got a bit of a headache. Perhaps because I've been lacking in tulpaforcing lately.

Well, now I can tell for myself that those headaches come from effect. So keep up the good work, Sands.

quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur

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