Jump to content

Sands and Roswell magic woooooah


Sands

Recommended Posts

My posts do a good job at hiding what you want to find. What you're feeling feels very familiar to me. I'm still unsure if you're supposed to feel that way when narrating, but when forcing, I think others have mentioned something like it so I guess it's fine. Say, do you have some certain part in your head that hurts the most or even the only part that hurts? I certainly do, though there's another part that also hurts now and then when forcing, but it's rarer.

 

I've been yapping to him all day while playing vidya (well, not as much as you'd think but I tried to make him a part of it) and I can feel it in my head all the time. Perhaps you can call it a headache, it's not very painful, but it's different from when you're feeling fine. Feeling very lightheaded now too. Goes away if I ignore him and everything tulpa related, but it's hard to do when you're excited about it. I hope I'll have enough juice in me for another session today, but first, we are going to do some cooking and more narration.

 

It's a pity if narration has this effect on me, it means I'll be tired all day long if I keep doing it. But if it means progress, I am happy. Hard to say how it will be at work tomorrow, I'd like to narrate there, but I suppose I can't too much. I might be too busy to, anyways.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 173
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

I don't feel any specific part of my head hurting, but I notice you said it got more noticable when you tulpaforced some more. I've only experienced tulpaheadache once.

 

Nice to hear you so excited about it, I'm personally stopping mine and going for a new one (nothing too fancy, may explain later). Your symptoms remind me very much of progress and, as I've said in another thread, going on when it's getting harder is good.

You can still narrate in your head there, but I think work goes before tulpaforcing. Tulpaforcing can be done at home, on your way home, during breaks etc.

quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh, things didn't work out for you too well? Hopefully you'll have better luck next time, I would like to know your reasons, but you don't have to explain me if you don't want to. I'm just curious, like I'm sure most of us are. I go in this thinking that there already is a tulpa and they are very well aware of themselves and sentient/sapient, we just haven't really "met" each other yet and we might not understand each other very well either. I feel it makes it easier to talk and maybe it would be easier for the tulpa and your mind as well? Like you're not constantly thinking how that couldn't have been them because you're only a couple of hours in and they shouldn't be able to do anything yet. Maybe tulpas already are there very early on, if you let them. I guess there's always the danger of cheating yourself and thinking you're doing more progress than you are, but you just gotta live and experience one day at a time, heh. I must say, anything I'm experiencing now isn't something I have felt before, that's for sure. I can't be sure of anything, but I'm sure I will at some point.

 

 

Right, how about some progress reports? Yesterday's last session was 30 minutes long. It was after a pretty long day of narration so I was pretty tired and the narration made my head hurt, but there was a break between the narrating and the personality forcing session, so it wasn't too tough and I mostly went in relaxed and without headaches. I was pretty relaxed and had a little chat with him before and after the session. I said I enjoyed this whole thing, which made my head hurt a bit more than it had during the session in that usual spot. I had plenty of headaches during the session, but nothing quite as big as that. It made me happy. My head felt pain after the session, and it's fine. Earlier I had whined about the pain and I didn't get much feeling in my head after I did that, so I had to tell him that it was okay to make me hurt if he's the one doing it. I'll just know it works then and there's nothing wrong. It might hurt and I might bitch, but I don't mind it.

 

Today I narrated to him while at work for a while in the morning, when much wasn't going on. I also managed to get sort of relaxed and did some forcing on my lunch break, I can't eat that early so I felt like I could use it for something more productive. I did it for 30 minutes but I'm not sure if I'll be counting it for the total time of forcing sessions. It was a bit different, mostly narrating and sort of trying to feel emotions with him and asking questions. Someone made me think in the shout box by saying maybe I get lots of headaches when narrating because he doesn't know how to make himself known otherwise? I felt like it could be, we haven't talked about emotions that much, how could he give me emotional responses if there's nothing to build them on? He might very well already know who he is, but maybe he can't feel too well yet. I'm not sure if I can feel too well, either. I had trouble feeling emotions during the session, to give him something to feel. I got some throbbing in my head, some might've been caused by myself, some might've been from him. I don't think I can give him emotions by just thinking I will give him some... I guess it's something we both have to learn.

 

I had a personality forcing session of about 40 minutes some time ago. Might've not been the best time to have it, I was pretty tired and had hard time not falling asleep. There were long pauses of me not saying anything, but I didn't fall asleep and I felt something. Not too much, I don't think I concentrated enough. I hope I'll be able to make up for him, maybe do some narration. He has been pretty... er, quiet? after this morning, and probably wants more attention.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a good session just now. 30 minutes, I could concentrate, I could feel him again. Headaches constantly, sometimes a bit less as I rambled, but I think he listened to me and took it in. Working on the personality still, I keep talking to him about them and I also added some narration and my feelings in the mix. We talked, had some casual chat about him and how I feel about him and these traits. I'm hoping he'll be able to feel my feelings and learn some emotions then. It was mostly just personality forcing though. The headaches aren't with me now after the session, maybe I can still feel something and am a bit lightheaded, but I'm not in pain. It was fun and enjoyable and I felt like I had to write about it as soon as I could. Sorry for spamming, but I'm excited.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's pretty easy to narrate during the mornings, even when at work. Not much is going on then. I also had another session of personality forcing today at work during lunch. I was pretty tired and I was pretty close to dozing off. I don't think I'm ever in danger of falling asleep when there's still so much going on around you, but it's hard to be relaxed and keep yourself awake. Sometimes I would just lose what I was about to say. But overall, it wasn't totally horrible. I think I've been having more pain on the left side of my head today, still plenty on the right side and in the usual spot there, but a bit more on the right too. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

 

Singing duets is sort of fun! You just gotta let your tulpa to be able to sing the other part and not sing that part too because you want to and you can't hear anything. It's fun to sing together, makes me feel happy and my head hurt. And pain is good, yes?

 

Had a personality forcing session of 30 minutes just now. I did it a bit different, instead of me yapping on and on about his personality and what traits mean, I just listed them to him and kept repeating, telling him to feel them or think about them. I think almost everything got that little sharp pain in my head, some traits I think he couldn't get because I used a different word for them, but explaining them sort of helped I think. I got a feeling after that from the word. It made my left side of the heart hurt more too. It's... a very different feeling from the usual feeling on the right. The pain is more on the top but not as top as I've usually felt it on the left side, my head feels very tight around the area? It doesn't make sense but I don't quite know how to explain it. I can also sort of feel it in the front. It's weird to have such different feelings and pains, still feeling the normal tulpa pain on the right side and this new, tight feeling on the left. I'll be having another go at this after I take a shower, just listing the traits is much easier and it's harder to lose your train of thought. I think that it was very helpful to first list them and really think about them, though. Now he knows what I'm talking about, I feel. So another 30 minutes coming soon.

 

Narrating and talking to him is becoming really easy. I know he's there, so it's easy to talk to him.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Still narrating and doing personality sessions. Today I found it rather calming to just talk to him when feeling upset. Hard to say if that effect came from him or just from having someone to talk to.

 

Like I said, pretty soon after I wrote the last post I had a personality session that took half an hour. And just now, before going to sleep, I had another one of that length. Used same kind of technique like I last did, just naming the traits and explaining some if I didn't get any feeling from them. Again there was pain and odd feeling on the left side, but also on the right side. I still don't know if it's a good thing, but it's different and I'm doing things differently?

 

That also means I now have had sessions for 10 hours. More, if you count some minutes from a bit derpy sessions, but still, 10, that's like an important number and stuff.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like your progress reports.

It's quite late, just about to go to sleep after a bit of a long day, and I'm sure I've read something about something.. Can't find it anymore. Tomorrow perhaps.

This here image shows a bit of how your brain thoughts function when experiencing anything. I didn't have the space to draw lines from everything, but I hope it's clear enough. It's basically a reason why a person who can only speak/read English isn't able to fully grasp philosophical books such as Kant's work. Maybe tomorrow I can edit this post to actually let you know what I'm replying to. Hehe.

 

I like how you like your tulpa so much.

quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guess I'll keep spamming, then. Also you got 69 posts, congratulations.

 

Yes, getting context would help for me to realize what exactly you are replying to, haha. It could be many things, I think.

 

I suppose you should and have to like your tulpa a lot, you're working with them for so long and then they will be with you for the rest of your life, so you better like them! I guess at this point we haven't really talked or learned much about each other and that's probably what most are waiting for before they can like someone, tulpa or not... But he hasn't done anything to make me not like him, so like him I shall. I know him or at least I know him based on what I have told him, but I don't know what he's actually like now. We'll see.

 

Had a 30 minute session just now, more personality with just listing the traits and explaining some if I felt I needed to. I was pretty tired and I had a hard time concentrating on anything. Guess going to sleep early today would be a good idea, but should try having another session. I could feel something in the beginning mostly, again on both sides of the head. I gotta keep my focus if I want it to have any effect. He has been pretty quiet again, after work. I think I'm going to need a good session to get him more involved again.

 

Sometimes I have asked him to move the painful feeling in my head from one side to the other. Sometimes it works, and it feels very weird, like the feeling goes through your brain before it finds the right spot. I'm not sure if it's possible to control your headaches yourself, but I guess the mind is a powerful thing and we if any should know that. I very well might be moving it myself by trying to feel it on the other side. Not going to dismiss it as nothing and if he actually moved it, he must be pretty aware already. Not going to hold my breath thinking that it was him either and omg gotta go forward now, I'm sure I'll get a clearer sign sooner or later.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Had an hour of personality forcing with a short break in the middle. I could concentrate and I really did, it really helped and I could feel him well again. All the way through, not just in the beginning. Really thought about each word, and didn't give any explanations. Kept repeating the words until I got something and then some. I actually made myself a list of traits I wanted to say, I guess looking at the list now and then might've broken my concentration, but I didn't really notice it. I could feel it so it couldn't have been anything bad. Helped me not to run out of things to say or get confused if I said it already or not. As to Waterbijdewijn describing one of his tulpa related feelings as having an orgasm without anything sexual, I guess I could say I had a sort of a mind orgasm this time around. Again, it wasn't emotional or at least it didn't feel that way to me, but it was this very weird, strong throbbing, sort of like an orgasm but in your mind, I guess? It was weird and it wasn't sexual, but it was different and it was a pretty big reaction.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today I had 2 hours of personality sessions throughout the whole day in 30 minute chunks. One of them was had earlier in the day while three other sessions were done almost right after each other just now. It was a lot and now I am feeling rather tired and lightheaded. But I sort of felt I needed to give him more attention, seeing that I didn't pay him much attention in the morning. Been doing some narration today, but not an awful lot, you see. Been with people a lot and it kinda keeps my mind occupied. It's funny how some personality traits are felt more on the right side and some are more on the left, some can be on both sides though. I think I'm getting used to the headaches, they don't feel too painful anymore even though there's still lots of throbbing and I suppose the pain spikes should be painful as they can be quite strong. But it's not feeling too bad. Day off tomorrow, let's see if it will be a lazy rest day with only some sessions or some crazy marathon.

 

12 and half hour mark here, I think?

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...