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Mental Rebirth


PsiQss

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Update time!

First of all, excuse my potential spelling mistakes, I've just updated my phone software and apparently it changed the way spellcheck works. I think I mostly got this set up now, but still.

 

Now back on topic. I think I have my schedule organised, at least for now. It looks like this:

Monday - Visualization (Lena)

Tuesday - Visualization (Raviel)

Wednesday - Vocality (Lena)

Thursday - Vocality (Raviel)

Friday - Mindscape Immersion/Personal Development (Lena)

Saturday - Mindscape Immersion/Personal Development (Raviel)

Sunday - hanging out in WL/catching up if I skipped a session (Both)

 

As for our progress, I think we're more or less at the point where we've left last time. Except that my Visualization is a bit behind. Speaking of which, I think I have kind of unusual type of Visualization. I've mentioned it before, but I think I should elaborate on this topic, because that might actually be helpful to some of you guys. Basically, it's easier for me to visualize motion than a static image. I used to think that it's just because of my subconscious laziness (moving images aren't as detailed) but I've recently realized what I think is the real cause of this.

 

Well, I'm a gamer. And the thing I appreciate the most, graphics-wise, has always been animation. I'd always choose a game with cool animations but poor graphics over one with poor animation, no matter how photo realistic it was. I also prefer third person perspective over first person, because I like to see my character's movements. And I think that my mind is just better suited for this job, either because of those preferences or it's just a part of me.

 

So I am using that to my advantage now, hence the change of my user title, I'm now a "Fighting Dreamer". Maybe it's not the most original thing, but it perfectly describes what I do in the Mindscape. I fight. WE fight. Either killing monsters or sparring friendly. Because that's what I think is the best source of cool moves, which help with my visualization. And we enjoy it, which is always a bonus ;)

 

So to sum up the previous paragraph, if you're struggling to visualize, think of your general visual preferences, who knows what will work for you!

"Tulpamancy? It's a way of life.

More than one..."

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Wow. If you really stick to that schedule, you are doing so much more than me. I've barely even getting passive forcing in lately.

 

That's an interesting point on visualization. I've read that movement makes it more vivid and easier to remember, but it never occurred to me that it might make it easier. I will have to try that.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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Well, I still think focusing on one thing at a time would be more effective. The reason I'm doing it this way (different things over a week) is that I want to avoid head aches. And that seems to be working perfectly.

 

About my progress though, because some has been made. I think I've had a good proof of Ravi's sentience.

I was meditating the other day, and at one point an intrusive thought appeared. For some reason, instead of killing it right away, I kind of followed it and started analyzing. It was an image of a scene.. Pretty crazy and messed up scene, so I won't be getting into details. But after a while of thinking I realized that maybe it actually wasn't MY thought but Raviel's. Then the image disappeared. But not JUST disappeared, it felt more like it got pushed away. And clearly not by me.

From that moment forth, narration is a bit easier, and I think I'm hearing her responses from time to time. And she seems to be more active now, flying around as I walk down the streets or sit in a bus. Hell, even now it feels like she's looking above my shoulder as I type this. I'm so proud of her now :) It's so cool to just look at her do fun stuff here and there when I'm out in town or something.

 

Let's move on to Lena though. She's much less active but it might just be part of her personality, being a bit shy. I think I've felt her do stuff yesterday so we're probably good.

Speaking of feeling, I don't seem to feel those warm sensations in chest that I used to feel last year. I don't know if it's a good sign or not. But I do know that we're making progress, and that's what is more important. It is a bit weird though. Last year we've had much more forcing, and now we're progressing so fast after a six month break and few weeks of work. I've been trying my new method recently, but I didn't expect it to work that well. But I think I'll write more about it in a separate thread.

 

Have a great day, fellow tulpaforcers!

"Tulpamancy? It's a way of life.

More than one..."

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  • 2 weeks later...

A wild update approaches.

 

So after the excitement regarding my latest progress, we had a moment of some serious doubt, as always to be honest. The reason for that was a particular thread about "misinterpretation of assuming sentience from the start" which I won't bother to link here because it's too much of a hassle with a phone. But you probably know which thread I'm talking about. But don't worry, I think we made it through. Even though I still think I might have been simulating them, that is not necessarily a bad thing. I suppose. So yeah, we're all good.

As for my forcing performance, it wasn't too good last week. My visualization seems to have improved a bit, but I have trouble concentrating. And I've fallen asleep during forcing way too often. I think I might need to move the forcing slider from 'relaxation' to 'concentration' to remedy that. We will see how it goes.

"Tulpamancy? It's a way of life.

More than one..."

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Unexpected update, guys!

 

So yesterday evening while chatting on IRC, I've gotten a weird urge to force. It's been a long time since I've had those so I instantly left the chat and started forcing, it might have been something important, right? I decided to focus properly to avoid falling asleep this time. But it didn't take me too long to realize that my intense concentration might actually block my tulpa's thoughts, so I relaxed a little bit and then my mind began wandering, so I've focused a bit more. I've been "oscillating" between relaxation and concentration for a whie, but kept Lena in mind all that time. And suddenly I think I managed to center the mind.

 

For those of you who don't know, centering is entering a "perfect" state of mind, somewhere between clear mind and concentration, that allows you to kind of passively observe different trains of thoughts, without getting carried away by them. You can read details about it elsewhere though, I'm not an expert. I've only been centered for about five seconds, but after this, I saw a clear image of a big chamber, in middle of which someone was standing. I zoomed in and saw Lena, in a gold and silver armour, with blonde hair and a gold spear in hand. She was much different that I imagined her, but I kinda liked it this way. And she didn't look shy at all.

 

That visualization was very vivid, even though it only lasted for a few seconds. I think I'm getting better at this. Also, I forgot to mention in my previous post, their forms are more consistent now in my subconscious. Previously I would visualize them as just women at first, and then consciously "add" wings and tail to the visualization. Now they "render" completely every time I think of them. I think it's a very good sign.

 

Note to self: Never neglect any progress.

"Tulpamancy? It's a way of life.

More than one..."

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  • 3 weeks later...

Alright, so it's been a while since my last post. The reason I've been holding up with it is that I wanted to wait for some significant thing to write about. But now it's probably about time I write something.

So over the past few weeks I've been thinking less of my tulpae due to a relatively important "event" that was taking up most of my head's processing power. There's a good chance that "event" might be reading that so I'd rather avoid getting into detail ;)

 

I've been also diving into New Age stuff, spirituality, witchcraft, modern magic and metaphysics, so yeah, my forcing time was very limited. And I gotta tell you, there's nothing worse that developing your own beliefs and religion throughout your entire life, based off of other religions, only to find out that such thing alrrady exists and is called New Age o.O

 

But as for tulpaforcing, I think I should quote Applejack here:

I didn't learn anythin'!

"Tulpamancy? It's a way of life.

More than one..."

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  • 2 weeks later...

The problem is kind of definitely solved now, so now that my mind is calm I think I can get back to my regular forcing schedule. But now I've actually noticed how powerful all this meditation practice really is. As you've probably guessed, this "event" was a woman, a very special one. THE one if I can say so. But well, things didn't go the right way with her and that got me, well.. kinda depressed. I thought I won't be able to get up after this for several weeks. But surprisingly, I managed to "compress" those several weeks of thinking in a single day. An entire day of thinking about stuff, a massive headache and when I woke up next day, I felt about all this differently. Kinda like you think about a crush from several years ago.

 

But well, I've got some more important things to do right now than getting you guys bored to death with my problems. Time to catch up with my tulpas. 321GO!

"Tulpamancy? It's a way of life.

More than one..."

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hmm, progress has been made, although not really tulpa-related.

 

So recently I've been struggling with mindscape immersion. As you know from one of my previous posts, I usually visualize things in 3rd person because it's easier for me and well, it just happens naturally. But I don't really "feel it" that way. I can't immerse into my mindscape body when I'm merely looking at it. So I wanted to change that and every now and then I would try to visualize in 1st person. It was really difficult though, I wasn't able to focus enough, my vision would quickly shift to 3rd person and my mind was generally wandering very easily. So I've been quickly giving up with this and returning to just practicing visualization in general.

 

But few days ago I've accidentally found a method that helped with that, and is very simple. Visualize your hands. And that's it! When you think of it, it actually makes sense- hands are the part of us that we see the most throughout our life. It's quite easy for the mind to "jump in" the mindscape body when you see it the same way you see it in real life.

 

So basically, now I just visualize my hands and concentrate on seeing and feeling them, and the rest just kind of comes naturally.

"Tulpamancy? It's a way of life.

More than one..."

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