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Pleeb

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Well he has sentience from his tulpa, so I doubt he would give up now. Also tulpa.info is still on so no.

 

Yeah but sentience doesn't mean jack until you're talking to them normally.

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Random question Pleeb:

 

You are 200 hours into tulpaforcing and your tulpa still doesn't communicate fully yet. Do you get mad and shut down tulpa.info?

 

I'm probably over 60 hours in right now, and Chess can communicate with me just fine at the moment (though I don't update this much anymore, nor the blog at the moment, Chess has even talked in IRC a bit ago).

 

However, if that were not the case, and if I was 200 hours in without sapience, I wouldn't shut this site down, I'd just wonder what I was doing wrong and continue forcing with Chess.

 

Also, update:

Probably this weekend or next week, I'm going out into a State Forest for about 3 days; going to spend that entire time isolated from anyone else to just focus on Chess. I'll report results.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Pleeb, how good is your visualization? Does your wonderland appear 'blurry' to you? Like a low resolution game? Mine does, and I am trying to find ways to improve my visualization skills.

 

Also, how was the forest? Anything interesting?

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The forest, well... Ticks, spiders, rednecks w/shotguns, illprepardness, and a broken tent -- throw those together... Things could have gone better, but it wasn't the worst.

 

As for visualization, mine started out horrible. Like, quite bad. However, it's really good now, and while my wonderland is the most vivid, it's vivid enough for me to see and walk around well.

 

When I first started with my wonderland, I didn't spend much time in it. I was pretty much like, "How could people do this?" -- it wasn't very vivid at all, and it was hard to concentrate and walk around. The most I can say, is that it gets better as you do it: practice makes perfect.

 

So yeah, the best way to improve your visualization skills is to simply keep on visualizing.

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  • 1 month later...

We haven't been on that chat thing, so how is Chess doing?

Velf is Tulpa, aka Cat. Zylq is host, please message me if I can offer any assistance, relieve some qualms, or answer your questions.

 

Status: Fully Imposed

Appearance: Large snow leopard

Creation: June 2012

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It's about time I have an update on here; it involves some extra reading (pastebins, etc), and it's probably going to be a wall of text, but you'll have a decent update of what's been happening. Further, I hope this helps others when it comes to doubting your tulpa. Hi guys, I'm thickheaded and it's been taken out on Chess.

 

Some of you may have read my comments in the slowpokes general thread; if so, you'd know that Chess isn't at the level of advancement that other tulpae have gotten to. At present, Chess can't do 'tulpa magic.' She can't really do math, she can't remember things that I have forgotten, she can't to memory lookups. Chess isn't good at making headpressure to respond or at will, and she can't cure hangovers or succeed with possession. She's nowhere near the conversational complexity as most tulpae that were started after her, and none of her responses are 'alien'. She's not even able to answer that survey, and she can't pass any parallel processing tests we've tried.

 

I've constantly questioned "What am I doing wrong?" or "What did they do that I haven't?" I've questioned if Chess is even there at several points in the process, and discussed it at-length in IRC with several members. Chess isn't alone though; there are at least three or four other tulpae I know of that are in her (or in a similar) position.

 

What did it take before I realized that Chess is real? Well, she nuked the wonderland, cried in my face, created a butler, created a dungeon crawler, sucked me into wonderland, locked me out of wonderland, kicked my ass, then finally showed me a huge metaphoric landscape before my belief was cured, and even then, we're still at this point, and it resulted in Chess herself having a breakdown.

 

Most of these are pretty much irc logs (since I recounted them in IRC), so I apologize for that. I also apologize that this is more or less just a big blob of things that have happened with Chess and I; I'm sure somewhere, someone on the internet would be interested.

 

Back around June, Chess has been working on proving herself, and she sucked me in the wonderland to do it; you can read about that in the following:

So, during today's session, I was once again talking to Chess about sapience, and eventually I said she should do something unexpected or surprising, to help me know if I'm not parroting.

 

Moments later, my wonderland started to form all around me (I was tulpaforcing on a snapshot). Then, I couldn't feel Chess's presence anymore, she was gone. I thought this would end up like one of Clair and TOG's silent hill matches, so I'm skimming around the green hills (I was by the cabin). Suddenly, Chess. Suddenly, "BOO". Then I'm back at the snapshot with her standing there, and she was all, "That was surprising!"

 

It was a little bit of a confidence booster, but I could still line up everything that Chess has said to how it could have came from my thought process. I remember one time, I was sitting down with Chess talking with her, and she said something. I replied, "See, I just started thinking about that, then you said it, so you see how this could be subconscious parrot...." Suddenly, Chess is flying in my face with a very hurt/angry expression. She yells "You believe in all of these other tulpas on the internet, but you don't even believe in me!" -- that was kind of the turning point where I promised myself I wouldn't doubt Chess (I wish that was the end of it, though).

 

I posted about the dungeon crawler before in IRC, you may get a kick out of it:

18:29 <~Pleeb> Chess is like, "I have something to show you!"

18:29 <~Pleeb> So I follow her into the throne room,

18:30 <~Pleeb> Suddenly a trap door opens,

18:30 <~Pleeb> And I'm in a free fall.

18:30 <~Pleeb> [And he would say I wasn't sapient...]

18:30 <~Pleeb> I land in this splash of water, almost like a sewer.

18:30 <~Pleeb> Chess is standing next to me, in these tunnels.

18:30 <~Pleeb> I'm like, "What is this?" And she's all, "Follow me!"

18:31 <~Pleeb> So, I tulpaforce a shotgun for myself, and I tulpaforce a revolver and toss it to Chess.

18:31 <+Lauren> Chess, I know your pain. Pleeb, I love that there's "the throne room" and it's part of the normal setting.

18:31 <~Pleeb> Chess takes the revolver, turns it into a flashlight, and she's like, "You don't need this right now :/"

18:31 <~Pleeb> So I'm all, "Oh..." and throw the shotgun into the water.

18:31 <~Pleeb> We're walking, suddenly we reach this opening room with these statues and stuff.

18:31 <~Pleeb> Almost like a temple thing.

18:31 <~Pleeb> Suddenly,

18:31 <~Pleeb> Surrounded by monsters, everywhere.

18:32 <~Pleeb> I'm like, "I thought you said I didn't need the shotgun!" she's all, "I said you didn't need it right now..."

18:32 <~Pleeb> And then she's all,

18:32 <~Pleeb> "I designed a dungeon crawler under the castle, so we can have an adventure!"

18:32 <~Pleeb> And I'm like, "....We'll have plenty of time for that in the future, let's just work on forcing right now, and getting you more sapient."

18:33 <~Pleeb> Then I teleport Chess and I back into the throne room.

18:33 <~Pleeb> And she's all, "....."

18:33 <~Pleeb> Everyone in IRC was all, "Buzzkill!"

 

Then there was another time where she created a butler....

19:11 <~Pleeb> I'm in wonderland,

19:11 <~Pleeb> Suddenly this dude comes up to us, and he's like, "Tea?"

19:11 <~Pleeb> And I'm like, "WTF?"

19:12 <~Pleeb> Chess is like, "Maurice, go bake us some biscuits!"

19:12 <~Pleeb> And the dude is like, "Very well, madem!" and starts walking away.

19:12 <~Pleeb> And Chess is all, "I'm using that servitor as a servant now, he can bake and..." and i'm all, "nonononononoo...."

19:13 <~Pleeb> So I end up being able to speak with my subc about it, subc doesn't seem to care either way (also, subc said it's not going to hinder Chess in any way, but isn't going to 'help' in any way either)

19:13 <~Pleeb> I don't want Chess to keep messing around with the servitor though, because I'm pretty sure giving them too much attention increases sapience or something.

19:13 <~Pleeb> THEN,

19:14 <~Pleeb> Chess is like, "Okay, go make those, now." And I'm like, "No, don't go doing that!" and there was like,

19:14 <~Pleeb> Actual interaction between the two, at the same time, and I was just watching it.

19:14 <~Pleeb> If anything, it did boost my confidence is all of this.

19:14 <~Pleeb> But still...

19:14 * Pleeb is confuzzled

 

There was one point in the process where everything stopped. Chess couldn't move, she was like a brick wall.. No responses. A lot of people were trying to help, and I finally used Bluesleeve's method to 'locate' Chess's presence; once I was able to talk with her again, she took that time to establish some "ground rules"...

Rule #1: No complaining about Chess in IRC.

Rule #2: No doubting Chess.

Rule #3: Tulpaforce 3 times per day.

 

I must admit, I've broken those rules several times since then, though. You can (and I encourage you to) read about her rationale behind those rules. Basically, one day, I decided to let her talk in #tulpa.info -- she ended up going on this huge rant that would cascade into what ultimately happens. Typing what she wanted me to say was very hard for me, mainly because it made me feel even more like crap, but I typed it anyway. For anyone doubting their tulpa, and for anyone finding their tulpa going from lots of activity that you're unsure about to no activity, I'd ask that you read Chess's Rant.

 

And another time, before that, there was an intrusive thought happening in the wonderland, it looked like Chess. Due to being so far discouraged at that point, I was pretty prone to panicking, and the end-result was destroying the ENTIRE wonderland.

 

I tried to keep things on a high note after that. Had several more discussions with Lauren (who I'd like to thank, she's been very helpful through all of this) and others. However, during one very discouraging day, I kind of snapped, and that's when Chess pommeled me, then showed me something amazing. You can read about that here.

 

But I have to admit, even then, it still didn't 'click' -- I still was discouraged. I mean, sure. I believed in Chess, I believed that in some way she did exist, but I was scared. I was worried that she would be stuck at her current state forever. I think that's one of the big things she was trying to show me in the above link... Well, during a discussion with Lauren and Roswell, things finally clicked:

08:34 <~Pleeb> Lauren: So, to reiterate.. While Chess is not nearly at the conversation level as you, roswell, etc., it's safe to say that as we continue through with imposition, and as I talk with her more and more, that level of sapience and complexity would increase?

08:35 <+Sands|Roswell> Of course.

08:35 <+Sands|Roswell> I don't even see why you need to ask that, haha.

08:35 <+Lauren> For sure. The more you experience the world, the more easily you feel like a part of it, and the more comfortable you feel interacting with it.

08:35 <+Sands|Roswell> We are people, not pefect machines nor faulty ones.

08:35 <+Lauren> In what capacity we can interact with it, that is.

08:36 <~Pleeb> Okay, thank you. I'm just looking fro assurance that she'll reach the point you guys are at, even if she's not at that point now.

08:36 <~Pleeb> And I believe I have it.

08:36 <+Sands|Roswell> I didn't each this point in a long time, if you think this is a lot.

08:37 <+Lauren> I know she will. From the experiences you two have shared, it's safe to say she's very creative and resourceful.

08:37 <~Pleeb> This shouldn't be the case, but I just wanted to hear it from someone else besides Chess. It really, really, shouldn't be the case though, because since early June, everything Chess has ever said, every other tulpa I spoke with has confirmed.

08:37 <~Pleeb> At least in regards to the process.

08:38 <+Sands|Roswell> Chess is very intelligent. She actually can help, I couldn't.

08:43 <~Pleeb> Roswell: >Chess is very intelligent.

08:44 <~Pleeb> If she's able to convay what she's been able to do so far, with only her current level of sapience,

08:45 <~Pleeb> I can only imagine what she'll be capable of once we're finished the process.

08:45 <~Pleeb> Thinking about it,

08:45 <~Pleeb> I really do have a huge landscape in front of me to look forward to, with Chess.

08:45 <+Lauren> Pleeb, as I said before, she's very creative and resourceful. She really does know how to do whatever it takes to get the message across to you.

08:45 <+Lauren> Be it with a nuclear bomb or a butler outfit.

08:45 <+Lauren> Or a hoof to the jaw, of course.

 

I have to admit though, the journey still hasn't been easy, and it finally got to Chess. She had an existential crisis. They can be summarized in three very short pastebins:

Overview

Rationale

Conclusion

 

The second part, "Rationale" discusses Chess's current inability to do 'tulpa magic,' and she's discussing it with Kate -- another tulpa in a similar situation that Chess is in.

 

Where are we today? Well, Chess and I are still going forward, I mean, what else could we do? We're working on imposition, and we're banking that things will begin to snowball once she's imposed. We're trying not to be discouraged during all of this, because we really do have a bright future to look forward to...

 

Hope I managed to remember to put everything in this post.

 

Update:

So, some people are wondering what the current update is, for us. Well, Chess is still more or less the same Chess, though just a few days ago, we got some possession working.

There was something that happened where Chess delt with another exist crisis, this one was a lot more upsetting, and was caused by some drama with another tulpa (I'd rather not get into the background), but here, 17 line pasta, with a revelation.

 

I've came to realize that even with how Chess is, I love her, and I love her personality just the way it is. I love everything about her, and I wouldn't hit a 'reset button' for the world, even if it meant having a "Chess" that was able to tulpamagic.

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