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[Game] Break-a-wish


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Since you wished for nothing, that's exactly what you get: your possessions are now all gone.

 

I wish Valve would finally make Portal 3, and make it good.

Yo, my name is Sean and I'm the host of 2 tulpas: Sente and Mae. You'll know when they're talking because Sente talks in yellow text and Mae talks in blue text.

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Valve makes portal three, but it is vastly overshadowed by half-life 3 and you never actually play it.  You lament this decision, but cant stop playing half-life 3, literally you die of starvation in a pile of your own filth.  Half life 3 lives up to the hype.

 

I wish i could buy a comfortable matress for a few hundred bucks.

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You can, but only because of massive deflation so the mattress costs the same, but the dollars are worth more.

 

I wish I could make a clone of myself at will

I have a tulpa named Miela who I love very much.

 

 
"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"

-Me

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Dollars worth more? Gimme that reality, i'll take it.

 

You have a clone, but your clone wishes for a clone, he has a clone, but his clone wishes for a clone, he has a clone, but that clone wishes for a clone... you get it.

 

I wish only for clear thinking on cloudy days.

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Granted.

Unfortunately for you, the sun moves slightly closer to the earth. All water evaporates, and clouds never appear again. You can now never think clearly due to the hellish temperature.

I wish for a can of Coca Cola vanilla.

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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Granted. In fact, when you drink it, you drink 1,000 cokes and have a flavor explosion in your mouth more intense than anything you ever tasted or will taste again. All food tastes extremely bland, and also you have diabetes now.

 

I wish I could listen to very loud music without damaging my ears.

I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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Granted. You gain the ears and hearing of an elderly Vietnam veteran who never wore ear protection. Loud music is the only thing you can hear these days. Hope you know ASL!

 

I wish for a thousand of those nice little pizza Lunchables.

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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You come upon an overturned freight truck filled with nice little pizza lunchables the upper reaches of the Yukon in the great white north.  Famished, you dig in, having not realized this wreck has been here a while.  After eating three, you notice the exporation date isn't just 6 months past, as is typical, but 6 years past. So you eat just one more, but the meat is rancid, you pass out in wretching pain. No one will ever find you. The next ice age buries your corpse and glaciers gently gring you away until you are indecernable to tundra.

 

I wish for the next ice age.

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Granted. Humanity is poorly equipped to deal with such a change, and as a result billions die of starvation and cold related sicknesses. You were lucky enough to have built a small stockpile before things turned south, but that has since long run out. These days you spend your time wandering the frozen wastelands with your tribe in search of mammals or berries to eat. You miss the internet and pizza lunchables.

 

I wish for a weightless pouch that I could store as much as I wanted in.

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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Granted, you get the pouch but since it is weightless and the air does have weight it just ends up floating away.

 

I wish I could live my life in piece

I have a tulpa named Miela who I love very much.

 

 
"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"

-Me

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