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[Game] Break-a-wish


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Granted, but the new genie is a bumbling fool who destroys them through stupidity rather than malevolence.

 

I wish for the power to see five minutes into the future.

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Granted. It takes four minutes 59 seconds to activate so you sit down, and see yourself seeing yourself seeing yourself (Repeat as needed)

 

I wish I could shapeshift at will into whatever I wanted.

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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Granted, you can shapeshift into the nearest man named Will, but once he leaves the area you revert back to normal."

 

I wish I could change the gender of anyone of my choosing.

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Granted, you can shapeshift into the nearest man named Will

 

I said WHATEVER I WANTED...

 

Granted. You can change the gender of a man named Will.

 

I wish people properly broke wishes.

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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Granted. You see a flock of people jump into every wishing fountain around the world and take out all the coins. Every wishing fountain, well, and other water sourced to make wishes ever bursts open, draining everywhere of proper water to drink. Congratulations; The apocalypse on water has started all thanks to you.

 

I wish for a singing fish.

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Granted. It sounds horrible, but then again, you're not a fish and can't appreciate fishsinging.

 

I wish sugar/sweet things had no effect to tea so people can appreciate nonsweetened tea.

brb college

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(insert response to "I wish I weren't so cold right now" here)

 

That's wish-breaking on a level I will never be able to reach.

 

Granted. Unsweetened tea is now so bitter that no amount of any sweetener can make it drinkable, and people appreciate unsweetened tea for the valuable lesson it teaches that, while a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, it can't make everything bearable.

 

I wish I had jean-luc-level wish-breaking skills.

"Don't listen to friends when the friend inside you says 'Do this.'" -Gandhi

 

Tulpa Name: Ellie

Created: 11/13/13

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Thanks! I'm pretty sure it was a one-off thing, the moment I started thinking about the reprocussions of someone that *always* stays the same temperature the rest fell into place and I couldn't type fast enough. But lets see...

 

Granted. You start by printing out the original post of the "jean-luc-level" wish breaking skills, to admire whenever you please. You even frame it, which attracts some weird glances. You start writing, and find that by simply putting in an inordinate amount of time, you can achieve such much greater (I believe in you!). Practicing answering wishes, you hone your skills to be way better than that silly jean-luc. You regularly check over and over that one thread, sometimes replying to your own wishes just because you want to write something. And yet you leave the frame and it's post there, as a reminder of how shit one could be. One day, you paint a scene of a truly horrible rape and murder in response to a wish for Half Life 3. Although you don't realize it, you've gone too far. The original wish maker reads your post, and slowly creeps down in their chair, ever more horrified but unable to stop reading. After the first 3 paragraphs, they release a blood-curling scream of horror at your scene with the traffic cone, and their older brother comes barreling down the stairs in a jiffy. He finds his sister sitting, crying into her knees, not daring to look at the screen. As he's comforting his sister, he looks at the screen to try and understand what was going on. He reads the post, and is horrified, but not as much as his sister due to not being the main character in it. He scrolls up, clicks around, and finds what tulpas are. More importantly, he finds the "LukeDude759" name next to the post that caused his sister to be so frightened. Over the next few days, he finds that it somehow did lasting damage to his sister's brain. She no longer wants to go out anywhere, because of the "traffic cones". He tries to ask doctors about it, but they all think he's joking. Frustrated, an inner fire begins burning inside him. At first, he can't really figure out what it is, he's just always angry. But as it grows bigger and hotter, he realizes it's the completely irrational want for revenge. But his sister keeps suffering, and his fire keeps burning. He comes back onto the forums and finds you again. He reads through every single post you've made. He finds a mention of a timezone. That you live next to a highway. That you're two blocks away from the park. Little things that slip about your location. He spends 3 days straight on google maps and finds his target. He spends the rest of his savings for a plane ticket, one way. He calls 5 different relatives asking to come take care of his sister while he's gone, knowing at least one will come in response. He heads off to the airport, and spends a 4 hour plane ride sulking on the outside, planning on the inside.

 

You hear a knock on your door. Currently composing one of you (in)famous wish breaks, you don't feel the need to answer it. You hear knocking again, but this time more like 3 short earthquakes. And then an unrelentless pounding. You sit still, heart pounding, wondering what to do. You hear the door crack open, and realize there's something you should've done hours ago. Or was that minutes ago?

 

"Hello, 911? Somone's just broken into my house."

"78531 233rd Street"

"Hello? HELLO??"

 

What the fuck? How did that person know where the landline was?

 

You decide hiding isn't going to get you somewhere. Through some strange sudden streak of stupid bravery, you decide to go face this stranger. Looking for a weapon, you find your mechanical keyboard is build like a tank and will do the job. You creep twords the kitchen, where you can hear the intruder. Swinging around, you hollar "GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY HOUSE", to the face of a very surprised, plump man. With a weird looking phone and some other tools hanging off his belt.

 

"Okay okay sir, I'm sorry, I thought nobody lived here anymore." He says, walking hurriedly to the door.

 

You let down your guard a little bit.

 

"What in the fuck are you doing in my house!?"

 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, just my job sir"

 

You see siren lights outside.

 

"Well you've got some more explaining to do."

 

2 hours, 20 phone calls to 12 different companies, 5 lawyers and 5 levels of management later, you think you've gotten a pretty good idea of what happened. Aparrently, the previous owner of the house had filled out the "I'm leaving" form from their utility company incorrectly, baisically instead of saying "I'm selling" they instead put "I'm abandoning". Then they sent it off it with a folded corner, which then got stock in a mail sorting machine at the post office. Nobody noticed it until a year and a half later, when they decided to deliver it. The phone company recieved it, processed it, and sent someone to cut the phone line. As for why they told the worker to literally break down the door, they had yet to reveal to you despite constant pestering, angry emails, and threats to sue. And yet, throughout the whole thing you couldn't shake the thought of how dumb you looked holding a fucking keyboard as a weapon. You decided the easy solution was simply to buy a nice katana. And then you start looking for a lawyer, because you're still seriously pissed off. Apparently, there aren't very many "utility company broke into my house" laywers, and you're also hoping to find one to take on your case for free, which makes everything-

 

*knock knock*

 

Who could that be? You weren't expecting anyone. You get a funny thought, and then shuffle it away a rediculous. But then it comes true: Three extremely loud knocks, a consistent knocking, and the door being broken in. Those idiots have done it again. At least this probably means big bucks for you. Once could be written off as a mistake, but twice on the same house would certainly count as malice. You walk out of your room ready to surprise whoever they sent this time. You come out to meet a tall, skinny man. His only tool this time seems to be a short pole with 8 or 9 long strings ending in weird crossing bendy bits that were all getting closer and closer. OW GOD LINES ACROSS YOUR FACE HAVE JUST STARTED SCREAMING OUT IN PAIN. You stagger back, unable to process what just happened. Apparently not fast enough, you get a firm push backward that sends you onto and past your back and into the wall. Lifted up by your shirt, you then are thrown onto your own desk and keyboard, hands still on your face. Your side is pummeled repeatedly for what seems like the sick pleasure of your intruder. For hours he does this, just pummelling your side relentlessly, occaisionally punching your head to keep you too brain damaged to do anything. Eventually it comes to a point where your face has stopped bleeding, but your insides have started. Suddenly, the intruder takes a break, and you can feel your spirit returning; If only you can stand up and look straight at them, you can stand a fighting chance. Pushing off the desk, you hobble onto two feet to find the intruder wielding a katana coming straight for your neck. You're propelled back at the desk, and then you pop off your body, watching the world spin round and round and round as you feel yourself starting to fade. Ellie says her goodbyes to you, and you land to see a framed post, something about wishing it wasn't so cold right now.

 

I wish I wasn't dead right now.

 

"Granted, but..."

 

 

 

 


I wish for shipping costs to be separated from item costs instead of merging the two together and calling it "Free Shipping". Bullshit.

I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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100.gif

My god, jean-luc. You win. Now get out of here ;-;

 

Granted. However, the stuff that previously had ACTUAL free shipping now has exorbitant shipping costs. A journalist somehow stumbles across this thread, reads your wish, and after discovering that every break-a-wish actually comes true, screams to the world that it's your fault. Everyone is too furious to realise that they can wish for free shipping to remain free shipping.

 

I just came home from college and I'm tired. I'll never be able to top that previous wishbreaker, mmkay

 

I wish 10-minute powernaps are as effective as 90-minute sleep.

brb college

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Granted. The world changes its time system to something where 10 minutes is the same as 10 hours in the old system. You take a 10-minute nap and miss work/school/whatever you do. You get fired/expelled/kicked out, and you go into a deep state of depression. Eventually, you permanently switch with one of your tulpas so you can kill off your own mind without killing off your own body. You never see your tulpas again, or the real world. Just in a place of peace and tranquility, away from all you love. The switched tulpa (let's just call them you from now on) then makes the following wish:

 

"I wish I could find a job/get back into school/etc."

 

However, that wish is broken, and you're getting less than minimum wage/a terrible education/etc., so you break the next persons with with jean-luc level wish-breaking. The guy that found the one person starts to find you. In an attempt to avoid him (for some reason you knew he was coming), you plan to move to Europe. However, since you have minimum wage/a poor education, you can't afford to go to Europe/don't know how moving works. You decide that you won't flee, but you'll fight. Fight like a man. Fortunately, your dad has a shotgun, a dagger, some traffic cones, and spooky scary skeletons in his closet for some reason. You use all of these to fight the incoming man. For your host. For everyone you've ever loved. Suddenly, you hear something banging.

 

*knock knock*

 

You prepare your weapons and slowly open the door. Your plan is as followed: the shotgun for main damage, the dagger for finishing him off if he doesn't die, the traffic cones to trigger his sister, and the spooky scary skeletons to scare him when he comes in. You hold the skeleton in front of you and open the door.

 

It's jean-luc. He comes in to say that the only weakness to the man is to use skeletons that are more than spooky. He's talking about the 3spooki5me levels. He gives you a 3spooki skeleton, and the katana from the other guy's wish.

 

You have 5 hours. You get a call from your mom (or host's mom? idk).

 

"Yes? Are you there?"

 

"Yes, mother."

 

"Good. I would like to to recite the Bill of Rights right now."

 

How in the world were you going to do that? The wish you made gave you a crappy education, and even changed the past to give you a crappy education throughout all of the years. You hang up.

 

And then, the guy comes in, looking more vicious than ever. You use the 3spooki skeleton, and realize that it was only 2spooky. He is unaffected and stabs you with a knife. Congratulations, you got yourself killed. Are you happy with yourself?

 

i will never be as good as jean-luc

 

I wish I knew why there was a rooster in my neighborhood.

Tulpas:

Melody - Creation Date: October 21st, 2014

Pumpkin - Creation Date: January 2015

 

my mastodon - my other mastodon

We're gonna try to post more often, but you know, no promises or whatever.

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