Guest Anonymous

[Game] Break-a-wish

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Granted. You get your brand new mask filter. Excitedly, you put it on, and start feeling like you're the happiest man on the world for getting your wish!

 

Unfortunately, a Dark One rips off the mask from your face after a few minutes. No, he rips off the mask along with your face.

 

I wish that I had a new sketchbook.


I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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Guest Anonymous

Granted, but your new sketchbook is poisoned and if you touch it you will die in 24 hours.

 

 

I wish to kill the sadist man in a banana suit that sleeps under my bed.

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Granted, but the banana man's wife finds evidence to convict you for the murder and takes you to court for banana-slaughter. You spend the rest of you life in prison for a crime that makes most people giggle.

 

I wish I knew everything.


~ Member of SparrowNR's System ~

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Guest Anonymous

Granted, but It's a new one. A VERY new one, that if you see it, it autodestroys, killing you and your neighboor, and destroying Megaton.

 

 

 

 

I wish to have the ki level OVER 9000!!!

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and destroying Megaton.

 

*stares*

*a single tear falls off cheek*

*whispers*

..Why?

 

 

I wish to have the ki level OVER 9000!!!

 

Granted, but your chakras can't handle that much energy, therefore, using your ability costs you your health. After a while, you're left in such a condition that death becomes your salvation.

 

I kill you by making you swallow a Plasma Grenade.

 

Getting me upset has it's cons.

 

I wish for straight hair.


I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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Granted. Your hair is totally attracted to the opposite sex.

 

I wish the sky was red.


~ Member of SparrowNR's System ~

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Granted. The sky is red. This completely changes the fauna of the world's system, which leads to loads of other changes that are not for the good.

 

I wish I could play the world's smallest violin.


I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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Granted. You use a computer instead.

 

I ALREADY DO THAT

 

Sorry, just looking through old posts.

 

Granted, but because the strings are so small the sound can only be heard by dogs. You look rediculous when you play it.

 

I wish I had an electrical mind-link interface with my computer. (this one's easy to break, so think of a good break!)


I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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Granted. Jean Luc was going about his day, accessing the Internet 5 miles away on his daily walk. One of his favorite things about having his mind linked with a computer was the ability to upload his walking podcasts en route, as they were happening. No officer could stop him to bother him, for he had the ability to instantly cite any legislation to prove them wrong. He was the newest ace of an international debate team, destroying competition with information that they had no access to on hand. With the hive mind between himself and his computer, Jean Luc was essentially the smartest human on earth. While the computer sent the information he asked for, extra information was provided at times. While on the bus, he might blurt out "Please rate your Amazon purchase on the Logitech mouse!" Or perhaps "New video from VSause: What is Artificial Intellegence?" This tends to be very off putting to people around you when you're just yelling notifications at seemingly random intervals. Nobody could understand how you feel, connected to the knowledge of the world and its inhabitants. As you're hooked into a straight jacket you're also writing a paper theorizing alternate history decades after the split where Hitler hadn't been born.

 

Time passed to others in the asylum, but never to you. You made videos for YouTube using your mind, topics of incredibly advanced thoughts, simple humor videos, and everything I between. The revenue gained was transferred to PayPal, which paid the bills for electricity and Internet. Without them, your lifeline to nirvana would be cut off. (I just realized that I switched to second person a while ago...) The months passed. You sat in your padded room with a god complex. Nobody could understand what you knew, they could never hope to. Hidden within your various google documents were papers outlining how to cure cancer, explore the entire galaxy, how to utilize coil gun technology, and even how to transpose a tulpa into reality. Almost all of them are privately saved, so no benefit will come from them. In one of your commonplace verbose scientific ranks, you unknowingly anger a certain neckbeard. The obese man slowly puts on a mask resembling one from a film. Your reverse image search shows up the film "V for Vandetta." The neckbeard wastes little time to rally his allies. "We are a legion!" Comes the caps-lock electronic cry. "We do not forgive! We do not forget!" You laughed it off. The Internet searches suggested that you were up against anonymous, the hacking group. These keyboard warriors would never crack your PC's enigmatic firewall protocols.

 

The days passed- or was it months? The hackers never ceased their efforts to hack you. The asylum warden was offen reported that you had yelled random codes late at night. Some programming masters would attend your cell from time to time. If your memory recalled, Bill Gates made a private appearance while you spewed out Hexagonal Code out loud. Even when translated, your rambling were often more evidence for insanity. "Resistant" was a recurring word along with "Endure." None of the leading experts in psychology could understand why you spoke or acted like this. The whole time, you were still conscious and condescending towards these spectators, they could never understand the information you were protecting. No amount of hackers could destroy what you had built...

 

...Or so you thought. Late one evening, you felt it. Screams were heard of both binary and agonizing pain. Ones and zeros called out to nobody in particular. The Jean-Luc Enigma firewall was uncrackable, wasn't it? A computer virus is very painful when applied to the human body. While data was being corrupted on your computer's hard drive, your brain felt as if it was melting. You had prepared a few tasks for this moment, and all of your emergency pre-death protocols were enacted. All the 1562 hours worth of YouTube videos you had prepared were simotaneously uploaded to the site. On the tulpa forums you dumped all 247 wishes in order that you predicted would occur on the Longpost thread, roughly 57% were directed towards Brassow. The final action was to set a 72 hour countdown for every US and Russian ICBM on the planet. The virus continued to tear through your brain, the room was blurring and spinning. 'Huh, it's gonna end like this for old Jean-Luc.' You mused to yourself. It was a pretty humiliating end for a being of so much knowledge. At least Brassow had three days to read those wish breaks before the nuclear holocaust. The virus had finally reached the system files, the end was near. You closed your eyes and spoke something, but the words seemed distant, not yours. All ceased to exist.

 

Autopsy Report

Patient Name: Jean-Luc

Cause of Death: Unknown (theorized heart attack)

Notes: Witnesses report loud screaming, unnatural for this patient, as he often cries out in indecipherable code. Some at the scene claim that right before death he cried out "Hacked by xX_Pussy_Slayer69_Xx. Subscribe for more dank hacks!"

 

The doctor looked sadly at the report. He was such an interesting patient that it was a shame to see him go. There seemed to be something... Different about Jean-Luc when compared to the other patients that would now never be figured out. After a long sip of his daily paper, he cried out to his assistant "Where's my paper, boy?"

The assistant walked in with deep bags under his eyes.

"I'm sorry Doctor, the paper company kept selling out and I had to wait for the third printing."

 

"Have you been getting enough sleep, assistant? What have you been doing at night for the past three days?"

 

"There's just been a lot of... Reading material on a certain forum site that I go on. My friend Eva and I have had a lot of trouble keeping up... But I think that the newspaper deserves your attention more than I do."

 

The duo looked at the daily paper on the desk with lumps in their throats. Written on the front page of the paper was the headline "NUCLEAR DESTRUCTION IMMINENT." The assistant picked up his bag off the counter and called over his shoulder to the doctor:

"I'm sorry sir, but before I get blown to oblivion, I wanted to read as many wish breaks as I could." And such was the short time on earth after Jean-Luc's death. In a sense of poetic justice, one of the only surviving artifacts left on earth after the fallout was a small model of the USS Enterprise.

 

If I got ninja'd, I don't feel like breaking your wish. Roughly half of this was written offline, so I hope you don't mind. Also, I wanna know if this is qualified to be linked into Jean-Luc's new thread- you were mentioning that they needed to be more grimdark?

 

I wish I had a box of hot pockets.


"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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