[Game] Break-a-wish

[Muffin]

Granted. You're lactose intolerant.

 

I wish for cute kittens

[[Insert_Name_Here]]

Granted. The cute kittens hate you though and scratch the shit out o your face and leave cat shit all over your bed and furniture, even though they were already trained to use the litter box.

 

I wish for the wish of wishes.

[Muffin]

Granted. The wish of wishes gets broken.

 

I wish I didn't post here every other post

[Actinium]

Granted, now you post here every post and start replying to yourself over and over again and nobody else ever gets a chance to reply anymore.

 

I wish for a duck.

[conflictedebola]

Granted, the duck is an asshole. You'll never be able to eat bread products again. Also, good luck weaving through your house like a minefield while trying not to step on duck poop.

 

I wish my spider would eAT HER CRICKETS instead of letting them all die before she decides she's hungry again.

[[Insert_Name_Here]]

Granted. Your spider is now always hungry and unable to be satisfied, and so eats the crickets right as they are given. However, you are unable to give her an infinite amount of crickets every single second of the day, and her severe starvation causes her to begin to eat her way out of the cage, and when she escapes she begins to devour you and all your family, and when that's done and she still has not had enough, she begins eating all your neighbors and every creature around her, in order to attempt to satisfy an unsatisfiable hunger. She becomes known as The Great Hungry Terror!!!

 

You're probably wonder how this is possible? You don't know it yet, but she is actually genetically mutated to be super fast and to produce a poison that neutralizes the nervous system except for the brain and spinal cord, and it can be shot from her mouth and absorbed by the skin. She just never had to use it, until now...

 

I wish for simply a good long life.

[etherealcabbage]

Granted, "life" is the latest slang for penis.

 

Ugh, my life is so hard.

 

 

I wish I had a job that didn't make me want to break my leg getting ready for work.

[[Insert_Name_Here]]

Granted. Now you have a job that MAKES you break your leg getting ready or work.

 

Using etherealcabbage's meaning for the word life, I wish for my life to grow to 12 inches.

[etherealcabbage]

Granted, it grows 12 inches wide. Congratulations, you now have the world's thickest life.

 

I wish I didn't just realize Pibb Xtra is spicy cherry flavored.

[jean-luc]

Granted. You realized 5 seconds before now (or whenever you posted that).

 

I wish for a large but non-infinite amount of money that does not significantly affect the economy of the world no matter how I spend it and is in US dollars and does not get stolen and is spendable everywhere.