Ashmo

Ashmo's First Tulpa

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Biggest, most surprising progress yet! Firstly, while forcing before bed last night he finally opened his eyes. They're the color of tsavorite garnets. They even have a bit of a twinkle in them.

 

Most of my forcing yesterday was spent trying to explain what exactly patience is and why it's good to at least try to have. Even if you don't honestly have patience for things, pretending to helps you become just a little more patient. After a while I think he began to understand. At leas the basic concept. I feel him trying now and that's more than I could have asked for.

 

Now! For the big news!

He spoke!

It wasn't just mind voice either.

I had a, right hand to the Lord and Lady, audio hallucination of his voice!

 

I was laying in bed, half forcing like a always do because he likes to curl up in between Bree and I as I fall asleep. I was less than half awake, playing with Bree's hair in reality and playing with his mane in my half floaty awareness of him in what I call "the in between" (it's where I perceive him to be when I passive force because he isn't fully imposable yet). I'm laying on my side, one ear covered, when suddenly I hear a voice!

 

"Tell me a story(?)"

 

O.O

 

It sounded like a little boy. I asked him, out loud even-I'm surprised I didn't wake Bree up. "Bud was that you?" He simply nodded and looked at me with his newly open, already half pleading eyes.

 

So of course, I woke myself up enough to think of something off the top of my head. I ended up telling him the old Greek fable of Hades and Persephone and when she goes to the underworld to visit her husband, the seasons change because he mother misses her. He curled up and fast asleep by the end of the story.

 

Today since waking up he feels much more active than usual. Much more "there" I guess you might say. I still haven't had my bike ride, my stomach is acting up and I don't think I could handle the ride. Tomorrow I will have to start up again though because Thursday through Sunday I will be working at the county fair. My only worry is that I won't have much time for him those four days. I know I will at least passive force through out the whole day, I just don't think I will have the energy to get any active forcing done. I will be getting up at six to be at my boss's by seven, to be to the fair by eight so we can start cooking and be open by the time the fair opens every day, and then it doesn't close until 11, which means at least an hour cleaning up after we close and I might be able to crawl into bed one or one-thrity to get a couple hours of sleep before I do it all over again. But I'll be damned if the money isn't good, lol.

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Hey Ashmo, noticed that you meditate regularly, i think this is what probably toned down your feelings in the response of hearing buds voice compared to mine, because ive only started meditating since ive started my tulpa, so every aspect of the whole experience is new to me and will take getting used to, i could be wrong though, ahaa, meditating will become regular part of my lifestyle from now on though,

 

Like i said in my post, congrats on your progress, we are basically in this together as we started around the same time and got the same response the same night :)

 

KEEP IT UP DUDE/DUDETTE :)


Tulpa - Yukai Shi (Yuka) しゆかい (ゆか)

Form - Shapeshifter

Working on viualization and vocalization

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Like i said in my post, congrats on your progress, we are basically in this together as we started around the same time and got the same response the same night :)

 

 

Honestly, I think as a community, we are all in this together. We are a group of people all drawn to together by a common subject/goal and we need to be here to support one another through both our easy and hard time. Through the action of simply being here to support one another, our community will flourish and grow along with our tulpae.

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Wow! You're making such amazing progress. I'm jealous! And you always describe things so beautifully.

 

Craft work, hm? Have you applied any of that to Bud? Do you think he'll help you with it in the future?


"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

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Wow! You're making such amazing progress. I'm jealous! And you always describe things so beautifully.

 

Craft work, hm? Have you applied any of that to Bud? Do you think he'll help you with it in the future?

 

Thank you, Shui. I try my best to articulate the things I see and my experiences in a way that others can at least get an idea of I'm going through. I do a lot of writing for recreation and one day wish to make a profession out of it, so I'm always trying to refine my writing skills (you're your biggest critic, right?)

 

Yes, I've applied a bit of "metaphysical hoodie-doo" to my lil buddy. The way I view the world, everything is a metaphysical experience. I'm not a human being having spiritual experiences in this world. I'm a spiritual being have a human experience. I really take that saying to heart.

 

Once Bud is older and more "himself" I look forward to working with him. :)

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@Ashmo

Your right enough, we are a collective,

 

I dont know why I said that bit because if you think about it, saying that we are in this togther because we had basically the same experience the same night is practically as bad as hour counts when you use them to compare with others progression, the counts themselves are not bad, only when used in a manner that will cause you to try and rush your own progress :/


Tulpa - Yukai Shi (Yuka) しゆかい (ゆか)

Form - Shapeshifter

Working on viualization and vocalization

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Alright, seeing as I wasn't able to do my morning up date like I normally do yesterday, I'll start with everything from two days ago.

 

Bud has been more vocal. Not much. I was listening to Journey (it was Don't Stop Believing, that shit is epic), passive forcing like I always do so he could enjoy too. I'm letting my mind wander, derping around on Facebook and the next thing I know, from no where I hear "This is gay..." in a bored, dull tone.

 

If you haven't been able to tell from the constant talk of my girlfriend, I'm a lesbian. I do not call things "gay". It's not the whole "you can't empower that word because people will think calling things gay as a bad thing is okay!!!", I just have never dug on calling things gay. I say lame, stale, weak, or one of my personal favorite, fuck this noise. Things like that. So obviously, having a "that's gay" thought creep into my head was...I don't know what the right word is. It was surprising, of course, but it feels like I over use the word. Of course my tulpa is going to surprise me as he deviates and becomes more himself...

 

Anyway, after that little disagreement, I made him listen to not only more Journey, but most of the Rocky Horror Picture Show album, and every Abba song I could find on youtube. He stopped complaining about my taste in music, lol.

 

Not that he doesn't like things I like as well, I'm just much more of a classic rock fan over metal and Eminem.

 

I almost always fall asleep while forcing. I know it's frowned upon but we both like it. He can curl up in between Breanna and I and then once I am asleep, I seem to have much more vivid dreams that I actually remember compared to when I sleep with out forcing before hand.

 

I woke up to my boss calling me, asking if I wanted to work yesterday. The fair isn't until tomorrow, but I love my job and always need to money so of course I accepted his offer. I've never turned him down when he calls me out of the blue. Also I saw it as a perfect chance to see if I would be able to passively force while the goings were slow at work.

 

I work on a food truck. Like the kinds you see at fairs and carnivals. The county fair start tomorrow and yesterday, Royce and I were setting the truck up. Basically stocking the freezer and cooler, wiping out all the pans (they were clean beforehand, of course) setting everything in their proper place and wiping down the whole truck because being in Arizona, it's very dusty.

 

Bud seems to find work very boring. I felt him there, but he seemed almost as if he were trying to be more at the back of my mind. I don't know if it was actually because he was bored, and just wanted back to go back to burrow in our wonderland, or if he was trying to let me focus. Not that I really needed it with cleaning and organizing, but he may have thought that.

 

I got home from work early but I was still a bit tired. Six and a half hours of being on your feet will do that. It started raining and Bud sunk deeper into the burrow, I let him be because Breanna and I were making dinner. After supper we went out, just for something to do. I brought home some beer for myself and it almost instantly perked him up. I'm actually quite happy to say that he likes it as much as I do.

 

I ended the night with a movie. When I first started forcing, he wasn't much into the same forms of entertainment as I am, but he seems to like horror movies. Or at least he can tolerate them well.

 

I started the day off with forcing. Giving him is personality trait infused bottle and just spending time with him before I start anything else. He's still growing. About the size of your average five year old now. Curious thing about the nubs on his back, they are growing too. I'm still not sure what they are, at first I though they were some kind of spike, because that's what finally poked through, but as they continue to grow, they've gotten longer and have articulated movement. There is still a claw/spike at the end, but it's like a finger with a clawed nail. The skin as toughened and become leathery there as well. It's so strange! I ask him if he knows what it is or if he has any ideas, but he just shrugs. He does a lot of nodding and head shaking still, I've only really heard him be vocal the two times now, though his emotional response rivals the feelings of true empathy.

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Why with the green text?

I almost started to read it, but then nope.


"If this can be avoided, it should. If it can't, then it would be better if it could be. If it happened and you're thinking back to it, try and think back further. Try not to avoid it with your mind. If any of this is possible, it may be helpful. If not, it won't be."

 

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Why with the green text?

 

I like the color green, I use the different colored text to separate my progress reports from normal comments and replies.

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That makes sense in concept.

But it just seems kind of like an eyesore.


"If this can be avoided, it should. If it can't, then it would be better if it could be. If it happened and you're thinking back to it, try and think back further. Try not to avoid it with your mind. If any of this is possible, it may be helpful. If not, it won't be."

 

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