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Blurring the Lines Between Daemon and Tulpa


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Thanks for stopping by my progress report, my friends Creative and Mathias <3 I'll be sure to hit you up if I have any questions during the whole process :3

 

Now, I'll get into my first real progress update! Today was my first day of truly forcing after doing a lot of preliminary planning, like writing short stories featuring both Ares and Nix. I also did the symbolic 'trait potion' method on both of them, but I mostly focused on Nix today. That focus mostly consisted of me talking to her as much as I possibly could remember too, with the help of Ares. A lot of this was passive forcing, like me telling her everything I know about cheese while grocery shopping and that sort of thing. I wasn't really sure what to tell, so I kind of told her everything in an unedited stream while trying to project mushy feelings like love and all that jazz :P I should mention that I never projected ("forced") her into the real world during all this though, I just kept a connection between us with minimal visualization (I can't multitask THAT well >_<) So, that was the passive forcing I suppose. I also visited her in the headspace, and gave her a 'tour' of the place. I don't know how I'm supposed to imagine her at this stage, but currently she has the body I visualized for her (caracal dragon thing) she's just kind of like a puppet. Her eyes stare into the void and she seems kind of lifeless, to put it dramatically. Ares and I lead her around, and both of us are trying to be very supportive of her, and are treating her like a fully functional sentient being. Ares has taken on the role of 'older brother' now, which I find absolutely adorable and really relieving that he's taken to her so easily, even at this point.

 

So, that's what has happened today. I'm going to do some more chatting with her tonight, and maybe I'll do some writing as well :3 Here's a couple pictures to give you guys an idea of what my two head buddies look like, in case you wanted to know :) Ares > (really old drawing) http://i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee376/Cheezitlord/IMG_0820.jpg

Nix > http://i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee376/Cheezitlord/0b4079ce-68a1-4f75-b676-c5fecd0a8bf8.jpg and http://i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee376/Cheezitlord/IMG_2417.jpg

Currently the only one occupying my headspace is my fluffy dog daemon Aressian, but we're working on a new addition :3

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Alright, I haven't made too much headway in the past day or so, but I expected that. I doubt many people have tulpas who become sentient in three days, anyway XD Basically, the past few days have consisted of some narration about my daily life and a lot of passive visualization. Because of Ares, I'm used to projecting a furry creature in my head all the time, so it wasn't much of a stretch to add another. Oh, and speaking of Ares, he has been a huge help in this whole thing, with his constant reminders for me to pay attention to both him and her. It was even his idea to give her a room in the japanese tea house we have in our mindscape. Unlike his own room, there's currently nothing in it (for visualization's sake) but it's a nice space for us all to hang out in there, even if she is sort of a life sized doll right now. I did get one random surge of some kind of emotion, but I believe that was Ares responding to the tulpa techniques I'm using on him which I'm ridiculously happy about right now :3 He's just so much more 'here' than he used to be! :D

 

To help keep my new friend in my mind and to give her more 'life', I've been drawing her all over the place. My homework, scrap pieces of paper, my sketch book (of course), you name it. It's really helping me get a better idea of what she looks like. I think the next thing I'll be drawing is her emotions, specifically the ones that correlate to her personality traits I'm trying to instill in her. So, I'll draw her with a sense of wonder to reflect curiosity, etc. I think I'll have to make it up to Ares soon though, I haven't drawn him in awhile XD I suppose there's one last thing for me to update before I go, though. We've decided on a name change, from Nix to either Vex or Tamari (yes, like the soy sauce...). Maybe we'll be super creative and call her Vex Tamari, or Vamari or something XD It was actually Ares's idea to change it, but now I'm having a hard time not calling her Nix (I blame my neuron pathways). I suppose all worthwhile things take time though, and I don't want either of them to be dissatisfied with their names O_O That would be terrible. Other than these few things I mentioned, not much else has changed. I'm going to go sit down and force for a bit now, let's see how the next few days go :3

Currently the only one occupying my headspace is my fluffy dog daemon Aressian, but we're working on a new addition :3

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I've been there with the name change -- not with my tulpa, but with characters I've written in the past. It gets really hard to change a placeholder name once you've used it enough.

 

And I really like the way Nix looks. :)

"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

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I don't have much to say in this post tonight, as I've been crazy busy with school and work and homewrok O_o Tulpas and daemons get put on the back burner a little in times like these. I just hope it won't bee too detrimental to Nix as she's so young. Oh, and that's another thing. We've more or less decided to stick with Nix, but I call her Vix or Nex a lot right now because I've gone back and forth so much... The bright side is, I won't be attached to one name or the other if she decides to choose one later on :) While I haven't worked directly on either Nix of Ares the past couple days much, I have spruced up the headspace a bit. Nix has a cushion in her room now, I felt terrible about her sitting on the hardwood flooring ;_; Actually, we all have cushions in our respective rooms, and a few other nicknacks and things to make it feel more like home. We even implemented a sort of yoga/dojo room which is nice. I've also been trying to stop all parroting with Ares. Because I created him a completely different sort of way (that more or less encourages parroting, which is fine for what he *was*) I'm having a hard time not controlling his actions, but I know there are moments of authenticity in there. To help this along, I 'muzzled' him more or less, and didn't allow him to speak (which he was okay with). This way, we used raw emotion to communicate rather than words which I'm more likely to make up, I think. So yeah, that's out progress. I haven't seen anything out of Nix yet, but I've been sending her nothing but encouragement and I've been narrating all the time, so I would guess we might get something in the next few months out of her. Until then :P

Currently the only one occupying my headspace is my fluffy dog daemon Aressian, but we're working on a new addition :3

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So, I forced a bit last today (only about a half an hour, work/cooking/life in general wants to get in the way) and I think we made some visualization progress, on both Ares and Nix. Because Ares has been around so long, I already have a fairly consistent image of him, but I'm trying to nail down some specific details, and I'm trying to do a lot with expressions. I don't like to do anything cartoony, which means a lot of detail and a fairly anatomically correct dog structure I'm working with, which also means a lot of work XD It's worth it though, Ares is becoming more vivd to me, I've even tried the very first steps of imposition (though we haven't gotten anywhere). As for Nix, I'm still getting used to her (admittedly weird) anatomy. My brain seems to want to shorten her to a more cat-like shape, but I really want that dragon-esque feel to her. I tried visualizing her running to me from far away in a field, which seemed to help, even if I was obviously puppeting. I don't feel like it's detrimental if it's for the sake of visualization, anyway. I still haven't received any kind of emotional outbursts from her, but that doesn't surprise me still. I haven't spent that much time on her recently and I'm sure once I have a good chunk of my life dedicated to her, she'll come around :D One other little tidbit from my life; I ordered a pair of earrings the other day in the shape of Ares and ohmygaaawd are they cute X3 https://img1.etsystatic.com/017/0/6698276/il_570xN.499084289_eqbm.jpg I can't get over how absolutely perfect they are, I can't wait for them to get here! Ares likes them too, but he's too proud to go and squee all over the place, so I guess I'll have to do it for him. Until next time!

Currently the only one occupying my headspace is my fluffy dog daemon Aressian, but we're working on a new addition :3

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It's been a couple days since I last updated, so I suppose it's time to let you guys know what's been going on inside my head :) I've done a little bit of forcing (probably around 1 1/2 - 2 hours active, who knows how much passive) and so far, Nix remains silent. I'm more or less sticking to the older ways of tulpa forming, though, so it isn't out of the ordinary. I *have* felt something, random emotional waves or some such thing, but they might be from either myself or Ares as well, so I won't get ahead of myself. I've also noticed a rise in headaches, but that might be from dehydration XD I've also been drawing Nix like all over the place. People are starting to ask why my math homework is covered in cat creatures XD On the bright side, I'm far m ore familliar with her anatomy. I hope to draw her skeleton at some point, just to really give her an extra level of realism. Even as I typed that, I think I felt something in the back of my head which makes me extremely happy :3 I almost feel like she wants to be here, which is something I tell her and Ares everyday. I can't wait until vocalization occurs! So yeah, not much to report, but I have a feeling I'm on the verge of some kind of breakthrough or something. I guess we'll have to fine out :D

 

Oh oh edit :P Last night I did some forcing before I fell asleep, and I accidentally called Nix Vix (a combination of Nix and Vex, I still get them confused sometimes). I mentally said "I hope you don't mind (that I called you Vix)." I got this vague "I don't mind, I don't mind" in return, but it was singing, for sure. I often get weird mindvoice things that come to me just as I fall asleep, but I found it weird that it was related to what I just said to Nix, so who knows? I'm not convinced it was her, but just maybe :3

Currently the only one occupying my headspace is my fluffy dog daemon Aressian, but we're working on a new addition :3

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ahh! Sorry Maverickthecat and Danta, I responded to this ages ago but it didn't post apparently. So, I personally discovered my (mostly) settled form of a spitz dog through a lot of soul searching, and with some help from the daemon forum and it's *extensive* analysis index > http://daemonpage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=15219 It's also really helpful if you post an RA (reverse analysis) to the forum and they can try and help you get on the right path. Just keep in mind they appreciate grammar *a lot*. So, that's my sagely advice for you; finding your settled form isn't some kind of epiphany, it's a lot of hard work, time and research. I recommend just skimming some of the analysis...es just to get some idea of where you might fall (avian, mammalian, reptilian etc)

 

In other news, I have been SO BAD about forcing I can't even tell you -_- I haven't sat down and really forced for over a week, but I've been passively forcing consistently at least... Nix hasn't shown any signs of sentience or anything yet, but I keep talking to her and putting her in stories and whatnot. Ares, on the other hand, has been positively chatty for the past few days. Especially since my best friend went through a tough breakup. He's a lot better at emotional situations so I tried to take his advice which seemed to have worked out well. I've also been listening to the podcast Welcome to Night Vale (so good :O) and he's taken on the narrator Cecil Baldwin's voice for fun now and again >

So, my new goals are to entirely focus on Nix for the next week to see if we can get anything out of her :3 Until then!

Currently the only one occupying my headspace is my fluffy dog daemon Aressian, but we're working on a new addition :3

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A few days ago the forums went down, and had to be restored from backups. All the posts from three days before that were lost. That's probably what happened to your post.

"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

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Oh, thanks for clearing that up Shui. The forum needs to get its life together :P It's having a mental breakdown every few days XD

Currently the only one occupying my headspace is my fluffy dog daemon Aressian, but we're working on a new addition :3

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