bladewind

i have no idea what to make of this

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ok to start off i am quite new to tulpamancy, in fact i have not yet even officially started on a tulpa but last night during a visualization exercise, where i was trying to establish a wonderland, things kinda took a weird turn. i went through a bit of basic visualizing numbers and whatnot and then decided to play around for a bit and set up a more consistent wonderland, so first i tried to focus on creating a small island and ended up with a rather vivid floating city, but i decided i would take advantage of this and go for a bit of a walk around, this is where the weird stuff happens. as i was walking down a large street i saw a very attractive small grey skinned imp like anime girl standing in a shadowed corner. i was pretty surprised, first of all because her form was almost perfect and consistent, not to mention very vivid, and second because she said, and i quote, "don't let them bury me." in a very clear voice which was more akin to a visualization than a thought and definitely not directly my thought, and was accompanied with a slight wave of fear (not so much me feeling it myself as sensing it from her). something about her felt really close, and i was legitimately concerned for her so i took her under my arm, at which point i got a slight wave of relieved warmth from her, and led her to a small shack kinda off the main road and used some magic (i interact with things in my mind with a combination of spellcasting and water bending(like from "the last airbender")) to put her in a light trance, and put a temporary stasis and protection ward around her so that i could be fairly sure she was safe while i took some time to sort this out.

 

so, can anyone give me their input? is this normal? is it possible that i have created a tulpa despite not even having consciously started on my first one? and if so could keeping her in this kind of stasis state harm her at all? because i would really like to start on one from the beginning to be sure that when i start working on her, which i definitely will do if she IS a tulpa, i don't screw anything up.

 

sorry for the long narrative, im not really sure what information here is important but in any case thanks in advance for any help.


start with a cup of free time, add one scoop of boredom, a gallon of internet and a pinch of madness, season to taste and mix until smooth.

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No, it's not normal. Nothing in anyone's wonderland can really be said to be normal. But don't worry about it. I'm sure it's nothing bad.

 

I don't think she's a tulpa, but she could become one if you want her to. It won't harm her to keep her in stasis, but it would probably be better if you'd interact with her more. Maybe just keep her as a wonderland character for now if you're not ready for her to be a tulpa.


"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

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Yeah, the whole encounter with her and the sudden conflict with "don't bury me," it seems to be a common trend that comes when people find that thought-form/wonderland character/dream character/etc. that somehow has an influential force so strong that we can't really ignore them. Then when we take the opportunity to rescue them out of that fear of what may happen to them, them having a sense of belonging (as in being able to be with someone and share something with them) becomes apparent, just like how she gave you a sense of warmth.

 

And as for the shack, although you shouldn't take this to absolute law, the shack and the being you met during that session could represent an undeveloped part of yourself (when we think of shack definition #1, it's not as refined as a mansion or a house).

 

And how you went through trying to give her energy and what have you for protection, it could just be the desire to want to help any being, and not necessarily her being a sign of being your tulpa that you had to protect. Because with how the forum here applies logic towards what makes a tulpa a tulpa, those existential aspects clearly don't come in just like that along with the fact that you haven't made enough conscious effort to see her as much. Like Shui stated, you can have her become a tulpa if you would like, but again, she can remain as a wonderland character until you're ready for her to be a tulpa.

 

Personally, I've had many of those moments where a dream character, wonderland character, etc. comes by and just has a countenance that may make me gravitate towards seeing them more than just a thought-form that may not have as much or similiar sentience and sapience as the two tulpa I have right now.

 

 

tl;dr: You don't have to go about thinking every figment of your imagination is a tulpa in relation to how the community theorizes what models a tulpa. If you want to make her into a tulpa, by all means do so, but with any suggestion, just think it out beforehand as much as you can. It won't be the end of the world if she doesn't become a tulpa honestly, that will just be your perception.

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Sometimes I think it's the guides that influence "odd" reaction around here...

 

But finding a "sentient"(ish) being in the wonderland isn't regular for everyone. I found one in the second wonderland I made, but I accepted her as a tulpa.

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kerin says: More then likely an NPC. The ones in my wonderland are amazingly able to interact as though intelligent, but freeze as soon as no-one is around. That said, I almost never go to the wonderland at all (unless I have a very specific special task to achieve like making a new tulpa). I live my life as anyone human does - on Earth, except when I sleep.


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thanks for all the help guys! i think i am going to make her into a tulpa eventually after all but not for a while. in any case i feel more at ease with the whole thing, so thanks again.


start with a cup of free time, add one scoop of boredom, a gallon of internet and a pinch of madness, season to taste and mix until smooth.

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Edit: Oh man sorry sorry sorry this is so TL;DR

And I cut out half of it too wow I ahould have just made another thread.

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Well this is interesting. I had a similar experience.

 

I've been working for a bit now on simply learning to focus, concentrate upon, and visualize a wonderland. Personally it's part of trying to be able to meditate before I try anything closer to Tulpamancing (Also I think I currently lack the mental gut to attempt that at the moment; but I'm not hijacking this thread so that belongs elsewhere. :3)

 

Two days ago, I got really bored of sitting in the same grotto/grove that Id originally created as the base of the wonderland, so I walked out of it down the path Id designed. It's amazing how much exploring helped me visualize.

 

Anyhow, I found this sort of walled enclosure that shocked me to see because its the first thing I didn't consciously decide to place there. After entering and examine it for a while (it was a place obviously designed for meditation) I exited and met my first character.

 

She was up against the outer wall of the enclosure, shuffling and looking around as if she was extremely nervous, wearing a blue Victorian dress. It really shocked me to see her. I'm not sure if I was panicking or what but I kept seeing her face moving back and forth as if it were a doll snapping around. And this was just her face. Like imagine it as an overlay in my vision. The entire time her face remained serene and passive as well. As if it was a porcelain doll. It was more than a little scary but I was able to get past that stage in about a minute.

 

Once the shock of meeting her passed, I was able to take a better look at her. She seemed really doll like (she was human sized though), and even though I didn't try to name her the name "Mary" just sort of floated in to my head.

 

Unlike in your case, she never talked to me, but I felt that I had to protect her. I couldn't leave her in the forest in the middle of the night. What sort of Gentleman would do that. So I walked her "home". Her arrival sort of spurred me to create a town in my wonderland, and apparently she and her family live in a farm on the outside of town. I felt she was safe there.

 

But now I keep thinking about her whilst in wonderland. And what really feels odd to me is that even though I didn't consciously cause it, or at least didnt mean to, the personally traits of "Nice and Nervous(pensive?)" seemed to float into my mind the same way her name did. Any thoughts on that?

 

I'm curious that we both had initially fearful reactions and felt we had to protect these persons. Curious but comforted that my experience is not some sort of omen. lol unless I can't take the same words from the people above and apply them.

 

Mary still makes me uncomfortable though. She seems to radiate nervousness. Is that bad of me? I feel terrible for feeling nervous about her. Also I keep seeing her when I look over head at the town. As if she were a blip on a minimap.

 

( However I've decided that my initial fear was caused by seeing some one randomly in the forest that I'd travelled alone in until then. That'd shock anyone. And I have a very clear idea of why I gave her that name.)

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Hah, don't worry about the length.

Wow that's kinda weird how similar our experiences are! But in any case I think what the people above have said apply to you too.

Have you actually seen Mary since the first time you met? I ask because I tried to find crystal, as I have decided to call her, last night and didnt have much luck.


start with a cup of free time, add one scoop of boredom, a gallon of internet and a pinch of madness, season to taste and mix until smooth.

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D: I haven't had anything like that happen. Actually so far I haven't had too much change. I'm really new to this stuff too so I don't think I'm in the right to give much in the way of suggestions. Though could you find the shack?

 

As for Mary, when I took her to her house the ford night wasn't the en of my session, so at one point I saw her through her window (her house is on the road out of town to the forest that I started the wonderland in). At another time I was on the mountain that over looks town an I kept seeing her imag as I looked over town, as if she were waving at me. Which was actually a little weird since she should have been miles away but, oh well.

 

But now that you meantion it, I didn't really see or try talking to her last night. I walked by her house though and very clearly felt that she was there, but it was night and the town was mostly asleep. (It seems unless I focus on making it day the towns usually night, wonder if meditating in the dark causes that)

 

I think I'm going to try finding her again during my session tonight. Hopefully I won't need to wake up anyone accomplishing that.

 

 

----

I keep typing way too much.

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no couldn't find the shack, its actually more of a little hole in the wall in an alley, and i only kind of vaguely remember the landmarks around it. at the moment my visualization skills are probably far too weak and my wonderland too varying for me to find anything consistently. i tried to use the aura trick (cant remember who original came up with that) to find her but i think that either the trance i put her in or the protection ward that i put around her blocked out the aura. i think that maybe tonight ill try to find the magic that i used to protect her.

anyways good luck finding mary!


start with a cup of free time, add one scoop of boredom, a gallon of internet and a pinch of madness, season to taste and mix until smooth.

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