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I used to wonder what tulpas could be......(Raid's progress report)


Quadraginta

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Day 39, 10/24/2013

 

We will work on form tonight. After I shower, that is.

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 42 10/27/2013

 

I took a two-day break to enjoy my social life. Anytime I don't post is pretty much just me taking a break.

 

Now, anybody who is still here and isn't bored from my blog yet, there is something you should know about me. I am spoiled, a rotten brat to put it lightly. I will stop at nothing to have Raid, to have her be mine. This could work favourably for her, because no matter how lazy I become, no matter how often I procrastinate, I will never truly give up on her.

 

As for tonight, form. After I eat, of course.

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 43, 10/28/2013

 

Forme. Forme. Forme. Forme. Forme. Forme. Forme. Forme. For-

 

Over a month and still next to nothing, besides very light, instantaneous headaches, which I don't even know are from her or not, and I haven't had head pressure in a while. Still, I refuse to give up on Raid. She means more to me than even my own best friend (sorry, darling!) and she knows more about me than any of my friends ever have, and ever will.

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 44, 10/29/2013

 

I must have a delayed response to the tulpaforcing process or something. Not too long ago, I've gotten a headache that peaks in intensity and then dulls out, and it's been doing this for about 30-40 minutes now. It's not a terribly bad headache, even when it peaks, but it's definitely not painless. It's there. That's how I'll describe it. It's there. Not bad. Not terrible. Not even a bit annoying. Just there. I am almost sure it's Raid. Girl likes to give me headaches, feels like she's smacking my cerebral badonkadonk. Oooooh, girl, smack that badonkadonk!

 

......Can't believe I just typed that.

 

Anywho, I feel that my current forcing ethic isn't quite as good as it could, and should be. The shortest sessions last 20 minutes, and the longest, now, usually lasts slightly longer than a half hour. Perhaps, tomorrow, I might try for doing 2 or 3 20-minute-long sessions. No promises, though, given my work ethic. I've heard that short, periodic sessions are better than singular, long sessions.

 

But, for tonight, just a single half hour session.

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 45, 10/30/13

 

Guess what, Raid? It's reading time! :3

 

Fear Street, that's what we're reading. I know you'll enjoy it :)

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 46, 10/31/2013

 

Wow, today's Halloween fucking sucked. Oh well.

 

As for tonight, personality. Yeah, we're touching on personality again. Mainly because the shittiness of today has made me too lazy to touch on form.

 

...Sorry, Raid.

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 49 11/3/2013

 

Form, of course. After I finish eating a pizza and watching the shit out of Code Lyoko.

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 50, 11/4/2013

 

I am a very selfish person. when I first heard of the tulpa phenomenon, I was instantly smitten with the idea of having a pony in my head. Yep. I wanted a tulpa just for it's form. It took me a while to realize what a selfish decision this was. So, you know what I did?

 

Made my tulpa a pony anyways. Granted, I have now allowed her the liberty to choose whatever form she wants if she finds her current form disappointing, but the fact of the matter is: I am selfish and probably unfit to make a tulpa. But I will go through with making one anyways, partially for my own gains, and partially for the gains of my beloved Raid.

 

The tulpa phenomenon, at first, to me was like a game. Now I realize that it's no different from taking care of an actual physical living creature. Except for the obvious fact that Raid has no need to eat.....or drink.....or physically exercise......or get a job and help support the family, but still.

 

Raid, you mean so much more to me now, and I don't know if I have a hard time showing it or not, but I love you. I truly do.

 

Sappyness beside, tonight's session will be focused on....guess what?

 

FORM, MUTHAFUCKA.

 

But for now, I think I'll go play Pokemon X or something. Session isn't for roughly another hour and a half.

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Granted, I have now allowed her the liberty to choose whatever form she wants if she finds her current form disappointing, but the fact of the matter is: I am selfish and probably unfit to make a tulpa.

 

Terrible line of thinking. Name one reason why someone would make a tulpa in a way that is unselfish. You shouldn't put yourself down just because it's selfish. Being selfish initially with tulpamancy isn't even a bad thing. Raid and you will find reasons for Raid to enjoy her existence, even if it isn't clear from the onset.

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Terrible line of thinking. Name one reason why someone would make a tulpa in a way that is unselfish. You shouldn't put yourself down just because it's selfish. Being selfish initially with tulpamancy isn't even a bad thing. Raid and you will find reasons for Raid to enjoy her existence, even if it isn't clear from the onset.

 

Even if Raid does enjoy her existence in the end, I still can't help but feel guilty that, at first, all I wanted her for was her form. Still, I do appreciate the advice.


Day 51, 11/5/2013

 

More than a month later, and still little signs of sentience. I will maintain my patience, though, as I have felt signs before, but the feelings have been few and far between, but they were still there. Whether they were truly Raid or not is a different story, but I firmly (mostly) believe they were her. I will be patient, though. For her, if nobody (or, in her case, nopony) else.

 

As for tonight, Form. Yeah. What'd you expect?

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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