Quadraginta

I used to wonder what tulpas could be......(Raid's progress report)

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Do you anything going on in life that's taking up a lot of your stamina?

 

Not really, no. I've got High School, but even then, this year has been less annoying than previous years.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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A suggest I might make, then, is that if continuous work with Raid is what is ebbing away at your stamina, take a day to relax from it. I'm sure that she will understand if it is something that is mutually decided.


My Gaming Channel

 

Tulpa: Vinyl

Stage: A bit of everything, primarily right now imposition.

Appearance: Pony (originally styled similar to the MLPFiM art style, but lately has been shifting to a more anime-ish appearance)

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

 

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

 

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT! I FUCKING SWALLOWED THE ZYPREXA BY ACCIDENT! FUCK, I'M SO FUCKING CARELESS!

 

*Sigh*.....shit happens, I guess. Now I'll just have to spend a day or so, waiting for the shit to be cleared from my system, until I feel like me again. I don't know how this will affect Raid, but I don't imagine it'll be in a positive way.

 

But it's just one dose after months of not taking it. It probably won't feel that bad. Just a little zombe-like, emotion-less, thoughless, dead on the inside. My creativity, which has just recently made a slow recovery, btw, will probably end up back in the shitter, but oh well.

 

Let's look on the bright side....I've been feeling pent up anyways. Maybe a day without a mind will do me a little good.

 

Besides, I know Raid won't die from this. From what I've heard, tulpas are notoriously hard to kill, anyways. After all, she's not dying until I die.....if you take a psychological standpoint, anyways.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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New Locations have been added to the Wonderland. I don't know if I listed some of them yet, so I'll just list them all again. If what I typed was already mentioned, think of it as a recap. If you don't recognize these locations, conglaturation. They're new.

 

1. The Stage, which is no longer really a stage, but a small, bricked-walled room, lightly furnished. The Void connects to where it looks like a wall should be. If you step into the Void, as is, you'll go into it. But what's the point? Walking into the Void, or even to the left or right sides will just keep you moving perpetually in the same direction, no end in sight. Walking back the direction you came, no matter how far you went into the Void, will always take you back into the Stage within a few steps.

 

2. A small staircase, taking you to a door, that's connected to nothing, yet takes you into a small, rectangular, nearly unfurnished room with but a single bed at the end of it. I.....honestly don't know where this room came from, and it kind of creeps me out. But I like it, at the same time. It's cozy.

 

3. The Archives, only accessible if you put on the SPESHUL PAYR UV WUNDRLAND GLASSES that I forced into the Wonderland. I....actually don't remember where I last put it, and I can't find it now. But Raid or I could just force a new one. No biggie. When you put on the glasses and look into the Void, you'll see the endless black replaced with an endless hallway of an infinitely spanning bookshelf, an infinite amount of books lined up next to each other. They're all label-less, and honestly, the Archives is just an experiment by me to see if there's anything about the subconscious that either Raid or I could uncover. Any "magic" or "secrets" that the subconscious mind hides, and I somewhat symbolically believe could be written in here. This is very experimental. That, and I do like it, aesthetically speaking, so I keep it. I opened one of the books once and view it from first person mode, and I did catch a glimpse of some writing. It was in somewhat cursive-ish writing, and it began with "The subconscious mind is-" but then I put it back in the shelf, asked Raid to let me know if she found anything to aid us, and then I never went back in there again. I blame pure laziness and awful work ethic on my behalf, but I'm not completely discounting the idea that maybe there is something I don't want to see, quite yet. Again, this is all so experimental, I might just be wasting my time. At least I have an awesome setpiece for the Wonderland. Buck yeah! To exit the Archives, either backtrack all the way to the entrance.....or just take of the glasses and step out of the Void.

 

4. The Sandbox. It does not actually contain sand, but it definitely is a box. In it's unshaped form, anyways. We access it with a white portal at the bottom, but to the side of the staircase. Once we step into it, we emerge from a black portal, to stand out from the white, featureless walls of the White Room which it leads to. This, I added just last night, and it's where we go on adventures. I'll get to that later.

 

5. The Field, which we access through a door in the Stage. It's a small, grassy field. It looks to span infinitely into the distance, but I haven't explored the majority of it yet....or at all, so for now, I'll just cover the other areas in this Field.

 

6. The Volcano. The door immediately to the right of the door to the Stage leads to the opening of a volcano. Why? I have no idea. This is pretty much another Staircase scenario. I don't know why this door is here, or why it leads to a volcano, but it's here. K.

 

7. To the left is a low, moonlit hill, which for some reason, I have a difficult time imagining in the third dimension. Whenever I think about it, it's usually from a 2-d perspective, and whenever Raid or I stand in it, we appear as shadows. It's like looking at a 2-d sidescrolling platformer. I can imagine it in 3-d, but it feels....off. The sudden jump from 2-d to 3-d gets to me. There's also a tree here. Strange thing about the tree is, I can't tell whether it's green and alive, or brown and dying. This is a strange location, and we don't visit it often.

 

8. In the middle of all this clusterfuck is, voila, another portal of sorts. Well, more like a hole in the fabric of the Wonderland, where if you look into it, or step into it, you see, or emerge onto a very, very small moon. It's a tiny moon, the entire circumference can be covered with a few steps. Why is it here? I.....again, have no idea. But I like it.

 

9. Behind the portal, is the Archstone. It's a giant slab of stone with a circle in the middle of it, and when a hand (or hoof) is placed upon it, we're sent to the Forest, an infinitely spanning....Forest. Not much to say. Just a fuckload of trees. When went here, we appear in front of another Archstone. We can return to the Field by either tearing off the pendant we automatically acquire when we're sent here, or by touching the Archstone that's placed here. Or by saying 'fuck it' and just using our sheer willpower to teleport around the Wonderland like a boss. Honestly, distance was just added to add a bit of visual, and movie-like flair. But I do like walking everywhere in the Wonderland. It makes it feel more like a journey, or an adventure, something I enjoy taking with Raid.

 

 

That sums up the locations. Now, let's get down to some events which have occured.

 

On the tree directly across the Archstone in the Forest, I one day suddenly found a knife fasted within it, and a message carved into the tree. It was surprising, because it wasn't there in the first place. The message, will, however, remain untold to the masses. It's not really something to hide, but I feel a bit of discomfort by the thought of revealing it, and I can't tell if this discomfort is coming from me or Raid, so I'll just keep it a secret.

 

And just last night, we went on an adventure for the first time in a while! It was exciting, and fun as all hell. It was played out like a video game. Actually, the playstyle was just Dark Souls.

 

We stepped into the White Portal and emerged into the Sandbox, and then suddenly, we were in the Undead Burg from Dark Souls. Raid ran ahead and cut up some Hollow Warriors with her wings (somehow) and pwned n00b @$$.

 

I sprouted my trademark Hydreigon Wings, flew several feet above the ground, whipped out a Straight Sword Hilt, and swung at horizontally, sending a blade of air into the next Hollow Warrior (my roleplay character being an Aeromancer, basically a Controller of the Air. Or practically an Airbender, if you want to get simple.)

 

We ran forward a bit, before I emerged upon the infamous scene where the dragon lands on you. So what did I do? Grabbed the fucker by it's talons, punched it back into the air, and kamahameha'ed it to oblivion. I then bro-hoofed Raid, and.....well....accidentally feel asleep.

 

Yeah. That happened. But, it was a a lot of fun, and a lot of it did happen with very little input from me (at least the parts where Raid did her own thing)

 

There was even one attack Raid used, where she extended her wings and twirled around, slicing a Hollow Warrior with one wing, then the other.

 

It was awesome, and I plan to do it again tonight. Because fuck yeah, Dark Souls. Might just play the whole game with her, in my mind, because I pretty much know every boss, most enemy placements, and the entire world structure of the game, which few exceptions.

 

Yes, I do realize I have no life. I lock myself in my room, watch Pewdiepie, play Dark Souls, Final Fantasy VIII, write MLP fanfiction, and I have a Pony tulpa. I realize how much of a recluse I am. Do I care?

 

Pfffft no.

 

Life is good.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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10. The Pit of Spikes. Almost forgot to mention this. Underneath the Void is a Pit of Spikes. Why do I have this? *snickers*

 

Shits 'n giggles, that's why. That, and I have a habit of solidifying my insecurities and stick them in here. It never works to permanently change me, but it's quite entertaining.

 

The Pit of Spikes is accessed by going under the Void. I usually do this by just passing my Wonderland body through the 'floor' of the Void. But why go here? I usually just stick unwanted things in here, after giving them a form, usually the form of a jar with a liquid symbolizing the unwanted trait of myself. Like I said....it doesn't work.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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11. A rope ladder that stops just above the filing cabinet, leads up to a hole in the wall, which leads to the "outside" (which is a bit of an erroneous description, seeing as, in our Wonderland, there IS no outside. It's all a bunch of different locations, all connected through doors, teleporters, portals, or completely malleable mind.....stuff. Might as well be a bunch of rooms of varying size and changeability.)

 

It leads to a balcony of sorts, constructed of brick, and with a railing to lean on. It almost looks like something out of Minecraft. It comes with a very nice view of the starry sky.....and the starry walls......and starry bottom.....what the fuck? And if you jump down into the starry abyss......you end up coming out of the circle of light in the Stage, which I have not used in a long, looong time. I usually just force my servitor body into the Wonderland now whenever I want to interact with Raid. How I force it into the Wonderland is up to me. Sometimes i like to visualize myself as if I use Instant Transportation from DBZ. Sometimes I like to show myself appearing out of a circle of white light, as if I was summoned in Dark Souls. And sometimes, I appear in a gold light and Praise the Sun. And sometimes I don't feel like taking shit seriously, and I just fall down and faceplant into the brick floor. Good fun.

 

Like many locations lately, I somehow just found this, with what I felt was very little input from me. Perhaps Raid is doing it.

 

[i am!]

 

I guess she is.

 

Yes, by the way. Raid is now vocal. I believe so, anyways. Thing is, it still sounds a lot like parroting. Sounds. Doesn't entirely still feel like it, though. It's feeling more and more distinct lately.

 

Just need to keep narrating like a madman, accept some of the parroting with impunity, and keep a smile on my face, and keep Raid in my arms.

 

Yes, the corn just keeps growing, and the sap keeps flowing, along with the cheese still fermenting, or whatever the hell cheese does.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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For those of you just joining us, and just visited this page, let me sum it up with this short summary.

 

Day 1: How do I tulpa?

 

Day asdrdfasdjifgbasdjirbasdjk fgv: SNUGGLEZ!

 

 

 

That's about it.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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A bit of lazy forcing later......

 

Raid's vocality has increased! I think. Sometime's, she's loud and clear.

 

Other times, I'm almost convinced I parroted.

 

BUT!

 

Vocality confirmed immensely. I was playing Dark Souls 2 earlier, and I was lost as hell, then something spoke in my mind. "behind you."

 

I assumed it was Raid speaking, so I did go behind me. And lo and behold...I was on the right path again ;_;

 

I'm not religous in any way, but bless your soul, Raid. Bless it immensely. May Lord Gwyn watch over you.....that Hollow piece of-

 

SO.

 

Vocality confirmed.

 

And improving :D

 

Got anything to say, Raid?

 

[sixty nine]

 

.....And there you have it, folks.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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That was weird.

 

I had a lucid dream earlier, and I tried summoning Raid into the dream, but one of the dream NPCs told me she was still asleep.

 

That's pretty awesome, communicating with myself. Then I asked them if I was dreaming. They said yes.

 

I believe I also asked them if they were alive, and I think they responded with no.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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(After googling pathological liars)

 

 

 

"I'm just glad you're my tulpa, and not his."

 

[i would never be his tulpa, neither by choice or fate]


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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