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Doing That Thing You Should Never Do (My New PR)


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Hia. This is me.

 

Starting over on my PR for the.... third time now?

 

 

 

So yeah.

I'm 15, have known about this site for a while, and am getting busier and busier. I started creating my tulpa a year ago....and was promptly forced to stop a year ago. I was going to...... you know. But I'm not sure if that's an option anymore.

 

I'm really hoping that starting over and creating my tulpa now that I know so much more will help me make a tulpa in a more fun and emotional way. However, apathy is becoming a huge problem in my life. I'm starting to get the feeling

After some decision, I decided "FUCKIT" and just decided to start over. I had messed up last time and now I was going to do it right.

 

 

 

 

 

Zader had something different in mind, I think. The instant I started to use my old wonderland, it became impossible. While I was reading an article on wonderland immersion, I decided to sort of start on trying to go back to my wonderland, but then something incredible happened. The entire wonderland was destroyed, and turned into a truly breathtaking sight. The wonderland was reformed into a dark and shadowy forest, with gray skies and a gentle slope. I figured this was me, finding something I loved. The rest of that night I was filled with this strange near-trance state, and started asking ALL the right questions, finding use for fede's tones and being able to find the best theta tones I've seen thus far.

 

 

And then something not-so-great happened. The next time I came back to the wodnerland, the forest became sunny. The overcast skies were clear. There was a huge yawing chasm opening up into a beautiful land of rolling hills in front of where I normally go when I first visited the wonderland. There was also a rock. And on that rock there was a silhouette. And as I fought for clarity in my own mind, that silhouette became a white-haired figure. Really, here is where I should mention that instead of the joy and happiness this should have aroused in me, instead it aroused dread, horror, and sadness. For the first time in a year I saw the matter-of-factness of him in front of me. He was still there. By making the decision, I think I made him stir. I remember that before turning away from him last year, I performed a simple action that made all the difference. I remember it vividly. I had just told him that I would have to wait until I had gotten more information. We (by we I mean me and my puppeting;I use 'we' just in case that wasn't puppeting) had both decided (and after only six hours of forcing over 5 days) that his visualized body would simply be limp until then. Sleep. You see, the reason I had stopped last year is because I felt I was doing it all wrong--I felt that it was impossible for him to start responding at 6 hours old, I must have done something improperly. I think what I longed for was the full experience, the struggle of having a difficult time with this. The struggles chronicled in countless tails, forum posts, and guides. I felt and still feel that without this struggle I MUST be doing something wrong. I thought he was improperly made, and because of that I would be able to start over without a hitch. God I hope I was right. I hope that figure in the wonderland was some memory. I'll try to see tomorrow night. Maybe if it is a false alarm I can start posting progress reports without all of the melodramatic nonsense.

 

 

 

 

And to quote my favorite PR evar:

 

 

 

Yes I realize that approximately three people will read this, at least four of them having pony tulpae, but at least they will read it

 

 

So to all 4 of my readers, thank you for reading this.

anyone who disagrees are dumb.

I'm gonna put this as my sig.

 

 

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