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BurningFox's Tulpa Tracker


BurningFox6

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Day 55: Beastly

 

Busy day, short session. Since I didn't have time for what I originally planned, we talked about animals instead. Wanting to see if we could figure out what her favorite was, I pretty much just gave a slideshow of various critters and creatures. It was fun, but not very productive.

 

30 minutes total, nothing unusual to report.

 

Total time: 42 hours, 42 minutes.

 

Also, testing out photo attachments, since it didn't seem to work for me earlier.

 

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Day 56: Nothing to see here, folks

 

Another busy day, which led to another brief reading session. Feel a bit bad for yet another low-progress day, so I'll definitely have to work hard tomorrow.

 

30 minutes total, nothing to report.

 

Total time: 43 hours, 12 minutes

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Day 57: I don't even know what's going on anymore

 

A lot happened today. I don't even know if it was productive or just the result of a sleep-deprived mind. I guess we'll find out. I suppose I better start from the beginning of the session.

 

Awhile back, I ended up merging our personality sphere with my tulpa's placeholder form, making a back-up copy in my mind in case something went wrong. Earlier today I read that making a copy was actually a bad thing to do, so I quickly went about letting her absorb the copy as well.

 

The effects were immediate. After an emotional jolt, I was already hearing things. It was the usual quiet mumbling, but I could understand it to a decent point this time. Not enough to clearly understand, and I truly wish she'd speak up, but the fact she's speaking at all is great. In fact, we worked on question-answering skills some more and they've improved significantly as well.

 

Therein lies the problem. This massive progressive leap just reeks of parroting in my opinion, and it did occasionally feel like my mind was automatically inputting things here and there. Some things that were said felt completely alien, but it's hard to tell the difference.

 

I suppose there's nothing more to do but narrate throughout the day and see if this progress is still around by tomorrow's session. If it is, I suppose we're that much closer to getting my tulpa heard. If not, then I guess it's back to the drawing board.

 

One hour total; massive progress occured with a decent chance of just being parroting. Gonna have to wait to confirm this.

 

Total time: 44 hours, 12 minutes

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Well, my tupper turned from a mute into a chatty one once I made him vocal cords. Sudden things can happen and boy do they feel like a room full of parrots if it's a huge leap, but if I had silenced him I would have silenced a tulpa trying to talk. That ain't a good thing.

 

Being tired while that happened (I assume, reading your first few sentences) could mean a few things. People have reported that it is easier to hear their tulpa when tired. Of course if you are prone to hearing voices anyways when you're tired, as to whether or not it was the tulpa can be hard to know. But it seems like there was some understanding between you two, which doesn't usually happen with random voices. And they probably made sense too so it's not like it was you falling asleep.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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Day 58: Sleep is for the weak

 

Thanks for the info, Sand. If you or anyone else is still around, got a couple questions: is it normal for the talk to cycle between different voices, and not make much contextual sense some of the time?

 

Anyway, another busy day combined with very little sleep. Was hoping for a bigger session to work on the recent development, but ended up with a brief session instead. Still, I can at least confirm that yesterday wasn't a total fluke: responses are a bit dulled and her speech is much more infrequent, but definitely still there.

 

In brief, short chat session, and things seem to be progressing.

 

28 minutes total, yesterday's progress leap seems legit.

 

Total time: 44 hours, 40 minutes

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I don't have much experience in voices like that, but usually your tupper either sounds like you or starts slowly working on their own voice and perhaps they are able to change it suddenly when you're in a tired state. If you hear many different voices and they don't make sense though, you're probably falling asleep and hearing things. Your tupper, if talking, could have a conversation with you that made sense.

 

I started falling asleep when Roswell was talking to me once, and what he said just suddenly didn't make any sense. Dream sense maybe yeah, but I was still more or less awake so I could realize it made no sense and actually ask him if he was the one talking there. He said no.

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

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I don't have much experience in voices like that, but usually your tupper either sounds like you or starts slowly working on their own voice and perhaps they are able to change it suddenly when you're in a tired state. If you hear many different voices and they don't make sense though, you're probably falling asleep and hearing things. Your tupper, if talking, could have a conversation with you that made sense.

 

I started falling asleep when Roswell was talking to me once, and what he said just suddenly didn't make any sense. Dream sense maybe yeah, but I was still more or less awake so I could realize it made no sense and actually ask him if he was the one talking there. He said no.

 

Hmmm. As it is, she usually sticks to one voice, but from time to time she changes to one that ranges from something on TV to my own relatives. I've tried to ask if it's her talking but she hasn't been answering much lately.

 

Day 59: Road Trip (For real!)

 

My tulpa's getting less responsive as the days go by. I have no idea what's going on, but I'm just glad she's responded at all. Still, it's getting worrying.

 

Anyway, today's session eventually ended up becoming a musical session, both because we haven't had one in awhile and because I figured it'd be a nice, relaxing way to spend our last session before our trip. Let me explain: I'm leaving for eight days on a trip (might be able to update, might not, we'll see), and I'll have to work on my tulpa throughout. I was hoping to have her sentient by now so that she could revel in the new sights and have a good time, and I guess her recent developments are close enough. Nonetheless, see y'all soon.

 

One hour total, her responsiveness is starting to die down.

 

Total time: 45 hours, 40 minutes

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  • 2 weeks later...

Day 68: Recap

 

Annnnnd we're back. Took an eight day trip (wherein the sessions were reduced down to thirty minutes each temporarily), and we've definitely made some progress while we were gone. To keep it brief, here's anything noteworthy:

 

-Found out that my tulpa is terrified of planes, and a bit uneasy on boats. Eventually changed so that she came to enjoy boat rides, but planes still make her nervous.

 

-Vocalization/responses are coming along well. Responses are a bit indirect from time to time, but they're always noticeable now. I can definitely hear her speaking occasionally as well, but it still hasn't gotten to the point where the voice feels and sounds completely alien. I can comprehend small bits of her speech, at least.

 

-New deviated trait: Loves singing. It's definitely interesting how she can replay songs perfectly in my mind (before, I usually just remembered parts of lyrics and tunes rather than the whole thing), but she has a bad habit of playing them during sessions. A bit annoying when I'm trying to focus, to say the least.

 

-Unintentionally introduced a relative to tulpae. In the end, she was interested enough to start making her own. Not sure if she has it in here, but maybe she'll make a progress report at some point.

 

-Tried the a brief round of the Tulpa Game (found at http://tulpa.info/forums/Thread-Super-Awesome-Tulpa-Game-Guide) with said relative. It helped quite a bit, and my tulpa had a lot of fun.

 

-Played around with visualization a bit. Trying to avoid it until her form is finalized, but she seems to get more comfortable with her placeholder one as the days go by. I doubt that there won't be any more changes coming, though.

 

And there ya have it. Good to be back, too. Future reports are back on whatever crazy schedule I had before.

 

Altogether, about 4 hours and 26 minutes total. Decent progress was made, though there's still much to be done.

 

Total time: 50 hours, 6 minutes

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Day 69: Musical

 

Since we haven't done one in awhile, today was just another musical session. Nothing special to report.

 

30 minutes total.

 

Total time: 50 hours, 36 minutes

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Day 70: The Case of the Missing Tulpa

 

Another basic day, here. A little chit-chat mixed with lots of vocalization exercizes. Didn't really make any progress, but things are going smoothly. I'm probably going to go back to hour-long sessions tomorrow.

 

However, something pretty bizarre happened. For almost the entire day, my tulpa's been completely detached. She wasn't sleeping, nor did she just go away, and yet I couldn't feel her presence at all despite knowing she was just a few feet away. I regained the ability to sense her a few hours before the session, but it still felt extremely weird. Would anyone happen to have any idea what that was about?

 

30 minutes total. No progress to report, just the hours of odd disconnection.

 

Total time: 51 hours, 6 minutes

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