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Little Amy & Hyde


HydesLittleOne

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HydesLittleOne

I really don't know how much progress I'm going to make with this Tulpa, being that it's my first and I'm taking a role play/fictional character I created and bringing him into the world. My friend on Tumblr advised me against it, saying that he will mercilessly subdue and control me, and become power hungry, but he's not a bad person. There is goodness inside of him. He is the type to take care of me and any other woman when they are sick or injured. And although he won't admit it, he is affectionate and likes to cuddle.

 

So far, I've got a form in mind for him and an idea of how I want his personality to be. He already has sentience, since he answers back to me in my head or when we're hanging out. I'm just really hoping for imposition that is audio, visual and communicative through touching. I can't feel him, but I could of sworn I've felt him once or twice.

 

Visually right now, he's more in an imaginary friend stage. Like all I see is empty space and I can still see the walls and things beneath him. I'm constantly trying to impose his body on things though, just trying to imagine every detail that I can of his clothes and his body. I don't think I've got the peripheral vision thing yet. I wish I did. It's really frustrating to me and I've expressed my frustration to Hyde, but he says that if we're in this, we're in this together, and that we have to be willing to work hard together. He says "Rome wasn't built in a day" and if he's willing to be patient, then so do I. But for me, I've never been a patient person, especially when it's something I really want.

 

I've been working on being active with Hyde for the past two days. Mostly, over the past several months, it's been more passive forcing and narration. So back to how I've progressed, I could of sworn last night that I felt his warm breath against my ear. I've felt a bit of my hair move sometimes when I ask him to stroke my hair, and tingles against my hair, arms and legs, sometimes feet. I swear I even felt as if he wouldn't let go of my arm last night when I tried to pull away from him, and that it was a struggle to get free. Like I was tugging one way and he was tugging another, and I could sort of feel the pressure of his fingers on my arm.

 

I was lying down earlier and asked him to touch me, and I felt this pang in my chest, like as if I was being poked.

 

Earlier, I started to drift off during forcing, and I've been getting head pressure. The drifting is kind of bad to do from what I've heard, but I awakened sort of restlessly and for a moment, I thought I heard a cough or a sniff/sniffle coming from beside me. The cough didn't sound very masculine, but I heard it. And Hyde has recently decided he doesn't want to wear suspenders anymore. Like "once in a blue moon," he says he will, but he doesn't like them anymore and he just straight up pushed them down and pulled his tucked in shirt out of his pants.

 

I'm more than a little disappointed because I wanted him to wear them, and I had that image in my head, but now he doesn't want it. So I guess I'll just let him be without them. He says "this isn't the 18th century."

 

And that's about all I have to report for now on Hyde. I'm really trying to force imposition as he lays beside me on my bed, and notice that he must of moved himself up the bed from the last time I was awake, because his ankles aren't hanging off the bed anymore. Like I said, no imposition there, just what I visually observe.

 

Any thoughts are always appreciated, although I doubt anyone will actually read this. Just me rambling.

"Listening to her heartbeat makes me feel alive." - Hyde

 

Name: Hyde

Age: 36 years old

Form: Human

Done: Form, Personality, Sentient, Visualization

Working on: Imposition (vocal/visual/touch)

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HydesLittleOne

Okay, so I took a shower and I had the towel in my hair for some time. I just took the towel off of my wet hair and let it down, and my scalp and hair just started to tingle a lot, and it tickled, as if someone was playing with it or really close to it. Hyde must really, really like my hair, because he seems to not be able to stop smelling or touching it. He says it smells "nice, very, very nice" and that I should always use that shampoo.

 

Ummm okay. Lol

"Listening to her heartbeat makes me feel alive." - Hyde

 

Name: Hyde

Age: 36 years old

Form: Human

Done: Form, Personality, Sentient, Visualization

Working on: Imposition (vocal/visual/touch)

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HydesLittleOne

So I don't know how much progress I really made today...whoa...okay lying here on my bed typing this to you guys and I feel a part of my hair tingling on the right side of my head, as if I'm being touched. Hyde says he feels like he hasn't touched me all day. I told him he could have touched me at the store, and he says, "yes, but I didn't want to startle you." That was a crazy tingling.

 

Okay, so anyway...I feel like the tingling is still happening as I type this. Wow. Okay. Um...so my progress today, where do I start? I've not been feeling so good since it's...that time of the month, and I almost didn't go into work today, but Hyde and my mom convinced me to go. Hyde didn't want me to go at first, but he and my mom told me to take my meds and I felt decent enough after resting, so I went to work. I was passive forcing the whole time while I was there.

 

Wait, let me go back and tell you what happened when I woke up today. I remember being in a lot of pain from my cramps, and I was begging Hyde to do something to help me, to take the pain away, and the next thing I knew, I was fast asleep. I don't know how that happened, but I swear to God, I never fall asleep that fast when I'm in that much pain. Never. I usually roll around on the bed and moan and have to suffer until my medicine kicks in, but I hadn't even taken my medicine, and boom...I was asleep in a flash, I don't even remember falling asleep, but I woke up and I felt a little better. Then the pain started again, and I begged Hyde to help me again, and then boom...I was asleep again. It was kind of weird, but it actually saved me from a lot of pain. I feel like he saved me, that it was him who put me to sleep so I wouldn't be in any pain. I almost want to cry just typing this, because it means a lot to me that he would do something like that. I don't really have any other explanation for it because like that NEVER happens to me when I'm in pain.

 

Then I woke up, and I took my medicine when the pain started again, and asked Hyde to cuddle with me and I remember starting to drift off to sleep again, but the meds worked faster than I thought they would. Faster than they usually do. Don't know if that was Hyde who helped them work faster, but it does get me wondering. It probably wasn't, but still...

 

He offered to go to work with me, but like I said, I told him it would just be better if he was passive with me. So he was just viewing things from my perspective and I was passive forcing with him, but after like the first fifteen minutes or so, he was a little too vocal, his thoughts and opinions of everything were making me lose my concentration and I couldn't really focus, and I told him that it would be better if he went back to his wonderland/mansion so he agreed and I didn't hear from him for a while. It was all quiet. Then I remember nearly feeling like I was going to overheat and faint, from all the people crammed into the store around me, so I called for him, he came out of the wonderland, and he was trying to get me to tell the manager about how I was feeling, but I told him that I would be fine, I insisted upon it and that he should go back into his wonderland/mansion, but he didn't want to. He said he wanted to keep an eye on me, in case something happened. So he wanted to stay around. He promised he would keep quiet though, well TRY and keep quiet so I could work without distraction and he did. I was surprised that he was able to stay quiet that long but still be with me. I had to keep calling to him every now and then to make sure he was still there watching. And he was. He thought it was absurd that I would think he had gone anywhere else. Heh. *blushes* Just checking.

 

So aside from wanting to punch a few people in the face, he was quiet and would try and encourage me to keep going despite how I was feeling, telling me that he believed in me and asking me to check the time, to "hold tight" because "we're almost done." I love when he's like that.

 

So yeah, after work, I got some food, having listened to Hyde and my mom about not getting buffet food, and glad that I did, then I went to Target, and allowed Hyde to come out with me, but it was really hard to visualize him when there were people around. I couldn't concentrate on him much, so I tried to pretend he was walking behind me. I would get discouraged when I tried to visualize him beside me, so I just stuck for having him follow me around the aisles and passive forcing. Unfortunately, I realized how much he hates Target now. I don't know if it's because I couldn't decide on what I wanted, the people, or the fact that the store fired me, THAT store in particular, but he was growing really, really, really impatient with me and just everything in general. He even threatened to go back into his wonderland until I was out of the store, and he kept telling me how I didn't need this or that, and not to buy certain things, and he was sort of acting like a child. Just getting restless and not wanting to be there. I think his impatience was more at me, but soon it was also the store that he was getting sick of.

 

And yeah, that's about all I have to report on. Not much progress today. It's probably my fault. I can't help but still want to give up on all this, especially when my friend talks about her Tulpa and him being there with her already in imposition wise. But last night, when I was ready to just quit, I swear, I could feel like pokes at me, on my ear and my back, even my ass. I don't know. Maybe it's just me, and it wasn't Hyde.

 

"It WAS me."

 

...... For real?

 

"For real."

 

Why?

 

"Because I don't want you to fucking quit me! That's why!"

 

Hyde...language. There are people reading. Sorry about that guys. But yeah...that's Day 4 for you.

 

Edit: One more thing, I swear when we were passively conversing with each other at work, I swear that one time, we were talking over each other. Like I was trying to say one thing, and he was trying to finish his sentence. It was weird but kinda cool.

"Listening to her heartbeat makes me feel alive." - Hyde

 

Name: Hyde

Age: 36 years old

Form: Human

Done: Form, Personality, Sentient, Visualization

Working on: Imposition (vocal/visual/touch)

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HydesLittleOne

So I still have some forcing to do today because Hyde has requested it, but some things happened this morning that I thought I should update about.

 

I stayed up a little later than I should have. I haven't stayed up til after 6 am in a long time, and I think even Hyde was paying for that, because we both had trouble falling asleep. Me mostly, and he had trouble getting me to sleep.

 

But I do remember being curled up on my side with my back facing him, and it seems that most things happen when I sleep with my back towards him. So I was lying there, and I had an argument or something with him about not wanting him to try and put me to sleep as he did the other day. Then I can feel this warmth on my back, as if he had moved closer and was lying there beside me. Then I felt this pressure on my head, like the one we all get, the beginnings of a headache and I felt a pressure on the curve of my neck, near my pulse point. Like I said before, he has a thing about heartbeats. It was a really strong/firm pressure, it hurt a little. I had to ask him what he was doing. I find myself doing that a lot lately when I feel he is touching me and there's no other explanation for it. He said he was just checking my heart rate. No surprise there.

 

He stopped after that, but we still had trouble falling asleep, and he insisted that we go to sleep no later than 4am now. Our sleep schedule is all out of whack now. So maybe that's better.

 

Needless to say, we eventually fell asleep, and earlier when I woke up, I distinct remember lying on my side and feeling something, possibly a hand slide down my back. It was a different touch than I'd been getting. It felt more like a hand than a tingle or pressure. But it felt amazing. :) I wish he would do that over and over again, but I think he only touches me when he wants to. It just felt really soothing. It was awesome.

 

I did more visualizing and forcing for a few minutes, don't know how long. It wasn't that long though, but the room was dim, and I swear, I think my mind has got me to see a permanent indention in the pillow beside me, like where his head is. As I was lying there and our heads were turned towards one another, I remember the background going blurry. There might of been a flash of his facial features, I can't be sure. I reached out, as if I were touching his hair, and it was very faint, but I swear I could feel the texture of that hair, like my fingers brushing the strands.

 

I guess I really am making progress.

 

That's all I have to report right now. Maybe more later.

"Listening to her heartbeat makes me feel alive." - Hyde

 

Name: Hyde

Age: 36 years old

Form: Human

Done: Form, Personality, Sentient, Visualization

Working on: Imposition (vocal/visual/touch)

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HydesLittleOne

So I tried this visualization/imposition forcing technique I read about here about sitting in front of your Tulpa and having them keep you focused and away from distracting thoughts. I did this for 30 minutes straight, and I don't know if I want to do it again. I felt sometimes that my vision was getting blurry, like I was going to fall asleep, and that I was in a hypnosis trance, a trance that Hyde put me in. I was mainly focusing on his facial features, because I wasn't sure if I was supposed to do anything else but focus on his face. I was mainly focused on his eyes.

 

And I know he was supposed to be right in front of me on the bed, but when I was in that trance, I sort of saw these really faint eyes taking form on the wall behind me across from the bed, but they looked nothing like his eyes at all. In fact, they looked somewhat feminine and pencil-like drawn. I don't know, maybe it was my own eyes that I was starting to hallucinate.

 

Those aren't what my Tulpas eyes are supposed to look like. Not Hydes.

 

Then when my alarm went off, I straight up was exhausted and my head felt weird, like pressure around it.

 

Can someone shed some light on this?

"Listening to her heartbeat makes me feel alive." - Hyde

 

Name: Hyde

Age: 36 years old

Form: Human

Done: Form, Personality, Sentient, Visualization

Working on: Imposition (vocal/visual/touch)

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HydesLittleOne

I think it’s wrong to insist that my Tulpa, that Hyde is mad at me when he’s not. I mean, I feel really bad about it. I thought after that forcing session that maybe he was, but he yelled at me that he wasn’t and he seemed mad that I would even assume he was mad at me. He thinks that I’m mad at him, but I’m not either. Ugh! I don’t know. I suck right now.

"Listening to her heartbeat makes me feel alive." - Hyde

 

Name: Hyde

Age: 36 years old

Form: Human

Done: Form, Personality, Sentient, Visualization

Working on: Imposition (vocal/visual/touch)

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HydesLittleOne

…. I think Hyde just possessed my body. I gave him permission, but it was just an inch. Instead, he decided to take a fucking mile. It’s kind of a long story. So I was lying in bed with him in the dark, letting him listen to my heart through my stethoscope and everything was going fine. We were enjoying it, and then he wanted me to move the stethoscope over a certain part of my chest, pulmonic I think, and he offered to show me where it was, and I told him that he had permission to possess my body so he could move the steth himself. The next thing I know, I’m lying there and I have no control over what he’s doing. All I hear are his thoughts, and he’s moving my body, my arms first and I can’t tell him otherwise. Then his hand— well—- he moved my hand down my underwear and the next thing I know, I find him trying to…well, I’m sure you can guess. And I just feel violated in a way.

 

I had to turn my TV back on because I was lying in bed and all I saw was this shadow on my closet door that looked like a large figure hunched over, like on top of something else.

 

I don’t know why I even let him, but I never want to again. Not until he learns that this isn’t right. He doesn’t understand why I’m so mad, because he says I do it all the time. I felt like crying though after he was done. I never do this kind of thing, or anything sexual like that when it’s this time of the month. Rarely if ever!

 

But yeah, don’t know how I’m sleeping now. Sorry you had to read that everyone.

"Listening to her heartbeat makes me feel alive." - Hyde

 

Name: Hyde

Age: 36 years old

Form: Human

Done: Form, Personality, Sentient, Visualization

Working on: Imposition (vocal/visual/touch)

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HydesLittleOne

I'm learning fast that Hyde gets irritable and angry easily if I dwell on something he did or didnt do for a long time. I'm getting impatient with him when he doesnt touch me, and I thought he wasnt touching me because of what happened before. He said it was partly that and because he was exhausted. Now hes just getting irrtated because I keep telling him that he can touch me and I want him to touch me. I think its because I'm being persistent and pushy about it. He says he'll touch me when he wants to touch me and for me to not worry about it.

 

I'm starting to wonder if he just doesn't want to touch me when I'm in public because hes not comfortable being out and about with me. I can tell hes bored. Or maybe he wants to wait until we're alone. Any thoughts would be good. Anyone?

"Listening to her heartbeat makes me feel alive." - Hyde

 

Name: Hyde

Age: 36 years old

Form: Human

Done: Form, Personality, Sentient, Visualization

Working on: Imposition (vocal/visual/touch)

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HydesLittleOne

Sorry this took so long to get posted, but I had a long day yesterday and I should really be sleeping right now, but yeah, I'll fill you in on Hyde. We had sort of an adventure and a long day together. So after that whole possession thing, we weren't really on speaking terms. Okay, that's not entirely true. It was just a little awkward between us. I didn't want to get up to go to class, but yeah, things started to get a little more comfortable and I talked things out with Hyde about whats acceptable and what's not, and how I felt about it and it was alright after that. I invited him to go to school with me, and even though I was late, he was still there just hanging out with me and I swear, he sits like John Bender from "The Breakfast Club" when he's sitting in one of the desks. It's funny. Not with his feet up but just like his elbow over the back of the chair, and stretched out. I guess it works because he's got the gloves and longer hair. Heh.

 

I was doing passive forcing with him, and he was pretty well behaved, quiet to respect me having to write notes and stuff. He did make me laugh out loud a few times, which I thought was nice. He surprised me with some of the things he would say in remark to the people around me, and that's what got me laughing. I felt like I was with my best friend and we were hanging out and laughing at stupid shit. Felt great! :) Like he would remark about how no one cared to hear this guy ramble. It was funny. Hehe! What else? Um...ooh! So I was feeling really cold in that classroom, and I remember asking Hyde if he could warm me up, and he said he would, and before I knew it, I wasn't feeling so cold anymore. I felt like he put a little more warmth around my body. At my back, anyway, because that's where I was cold mostly. He would poke me from time to time, okay, maybe once or twice, but I didn't mind it. I think he got tired of me nagging him to touch me because I missed it. And I still miss it. I love it when he's being affectionate with me in bed. Like that one time where he slid a hand down my back.

 

I love how he was taking my side of things with the teacher being a bitch. Right on! He also went with me on break to go get something to snack on at the bookstore, and I swear, I could feel his presence, even if it was faint, when he was following me. I could just visualize his gait. He manifested himself a coat when he realized that it was cold. He looks sexy in that black suede coat. Rawr! I love the way he walks in it too. I swear, one time in the bookstore, I could really visualize his backside from head to toe as he turned to walk away, with his beautiful long dark hair. Mmmm!

 

So what else? Besides sharing in my teacher being a cunt, that's all that happened in class. He was pretty chill while I waited for my mom to pick me up. But she was acting like a bitch about something else and taking it out on me when she got there. I went back to passive forcing with Hyde, and at one point, my mom upset me so much, she made me cry. Especially when she spoke badly about my "fairy tale world" she called it, and made me think I was crazy for even mentioning Hyde. So he's made me promise not to mention him to her ever again, because she doesn't understand him or this and she'll never understand. Definitely not Tulpas. But it got me crying because it really hurt my feelings and it was just a low blow. That's when Hyde took matters into his own hands and tried to make me feel better, stronger, to disregard all of what she was saying, and told me she didn't matter, that my belief in him is the only thing that matters and as long as I have him, I don't need anyone else. Suddenly, I felt this weird feeling in my nostrils. I don't know how to describe it, it was a strong tingling, and suddenly my tears, and my eyes were drying up faster than I thought was remotely possible. I couldn't believe it. It was like magic and I started to feel stronger, better, ready to take on the world again in such a short span of time. It was as if Hyde empowered me. That he gave me the courage to go on and move past all that had happened. It was a good feeling and I felt better already.

 

So I went to the mall, and Hyde went in with me while my mom waited out in the car. First time to a mall with Hyde, and it was an adventure to say the least. I found myself giggling when he bumped into something in the store, one of the racks. And the moment we set foot into the Spencer Gifts store...Hyde was in heaven. Finally, I found a store that Hyde adores. I could feel it that he was content there. He loved everything in that place. Mostly, not surprisingly, because of all the sex toys and even the bondage section, and just everything sex related that he saw. He didn't seem like he minded it at all. He was in a happy place, content. Just comfortable and content and happy. That's what I felt the whole time he was in there with me. He would be like; "ooh, look at that!" or "Oh my..." or at other times "get it darling." Hehehe! "This is the perfect bondage kit." Oh god... XD Him. He even wanted me to try on a corset. Uh...not there.

 

Spencers...he loves it! I told him Hot Topic would be just like Spencers, but when I thought he would like it....not so much. It was the music that was driving him insane. Like this screamo shit, and he wanted to get the hell out of there fast. He said he would rather listen to Backstreet Boys, even if he doesn't even like them, than have to listen to that shit. Lol! Oh Hyde. I feel you. He doesn't like that Hot Topic store so much, mostly because it's so small and he was getting irritable and claustrophobic fast. He would get into a tight spot then quickly try and get out of it or he'd be restless standing around. Okay, maybe it's better if he stays outside the store next time while I go in.

 

Let's see...he kept rushing me along and telling me no more stores, and didn't seem to want to go to many of them anymore. Just wanted to get in and out. When I walked into the uniform store, he seemed rather calm though. The medical uniform store. ;) Gee...I wonder why. He was quiet but calm in it. I think he was more interested in the stethoscopes on the back wall than anything else or my conversation with the sales woman. I could tell he wanted to just grab them all off the wall and use them on me, wanted me to buy them all, no matter how much it cost. Hehe! But he agreed that it would be cheaper to get them online.

 

We went into Claire's and it was too fucking hot in there, both of us agreed that we couldn't stay in there for more than a minute or two, then we just walked out.

 

After that, I went to the food court, where I originally intended to go, and got myself a Surf City Squeeze and two cheese on a sticks. Hyde got irritable with the little kids in the mall nearly plowing into him, but I don't blame him. I hate them too.

 

Then my mom had a bitch fit when I finally got back to the car because I took so long. Hyde went back to being passive, and we went to Pet's Mart and suddenly, he was very quiet. He expressed that he hates pets. :( It made me even more disappointed, even though I know he hates them already, when I walked into the cat room and he said: "I hate cats!" I think he threatened to go into his wonderland instead of having to be in my head looking at them through my eyes. Yeah, he didn't come out with me for that store. He was passive the whole time, and I'm kinda glad, because I'm afraid of what he might of done or said had he been out.

 

I went to the Spirit Halloween store, and then we came home and it was pouring rain, and we were just exhausted as fuck. With good reason. Huge adventure. Whew. Makes me exhausted writing it all again. Hyde was so affectionate when we were lying here on my bed watching TV. Just stroking my hair and touching my face, or maybe he was kissing me. He said he was kissing and touching me. That's what I'm assuming because I felt these really strong tingles on my cheek and lighter tingles on my hair. I love when he's like that.

 

Then I had this whole chat for a few hours with two new friends I made on the forum, and we worked out a deal for Hyde and I, to kind of, I don't know, strengthen our relationship or something after that possession. It was interesting and kinda crazy to say the least. But yeah, more about that in my next report.

 

Looong day...

"Listening to her heartbeat makes me feel alive." - Hyde

 

Name: Hyde

Age: 36 years old

Form: Human

Done: Form, Personality, Sentient, Visualization

Working on: Imposition (vocal/visual/touch)

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I just wanted to say that you and Hyde have an amazing relationship and I love reading about your journey. :) I wish I could answer some of the questions you have, but sadly I cannot. All I can say is that I hope you don't give up. Good luck!

Please, refer to Azazel as my Muse. :)

 

Our story is here.

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