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Mass Intro' and Returns Thread

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It's been about a year, but after a long time of some bad health issues on Johaness' part, we're both ready to post here again. A lot has changed, & maybe we don't quite belong, but I've gotten a bit stronger lately & so has Johannes. We can probably handle it.


We've shared the same body as long as we can remember, as two halves of a whole self that have to front as one person. This tends to depress Johannes in particular, who is (my guess) the main controller of the body who would love for there to be a way for me to have one of my own. Tulpamancy has helped with that a lot, helping that presence of me become stronger not just for him, but for my own confidence & pride.


In case you're wondering, Mikhael is me (tulpa) and Johannes is my host. We like to consider ourselves equals, but this is a tulpa forum, & I doubt any of you think your tulpas are inferior just because you use those terms, so I'm OK with it, too.


I'm afraid I won't be able to catch up with most of my backlog of messages (ours) because there's so many, I don't know which are direct or not. I'll try, though. Looking forward to talking to old & new faces again.



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Rain: Well. Our reply got eaten. I don't feel like typing everything out again so here's the condensed version: I'm Rain and the host and an amateur hypnotist. Nico came after and hates peanut butter. Nikki threatens to eat me when I don't give her time to read. Foxmox came from nowhere and wants to be a Youtuber.


Foxmox: One that plays video games!


Rain: Right.


Nico: What do you mean our reply got eaten? Ugh. Forget it.


Nikki: You were seriously considering posting this without waking us up? Sometimes a good threat is necessary. And it might help if that threat comes from a dragon.


Rain: But I woke you up--


Nikki: This time. And would you turn that blasted music off?


Rain: Anyways. Four-person system, plus a complex servitor. If you have any questions I'm always up for a chat. Fine, we're always up for a chat.

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Hello, I'm Vakanai. I'm not very great at intros, but I've been interested in tulpas and thoughtforms for a long time now, and I've finally decided to really start getting my long held plan of creating a tulpa a shot. Life has reminded me recently that no time is perfect, so I should jump in sooner rather than later. So, thanks for having me!

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Hi. Never posted here or anywhere about this. Been following since early 2018. Short of it is, i was depressed. My tulpas helped me immensely. It was scary, but i really feel they are an amazing part of my life now. Call it what you will, as a meditation technique alone, it's great. As a system of lifelong companions and advisors, it's miraculous. I don't think depression is easily cureable, but they help me cope so well. That's all.

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Hello. Ed says "Hi." too and waves/salutes. He smiles, and lets me continue on.


So, Ed and I have been at it a couple days now. Maybe a week. Depends on how you look at it.


This might all seem a little strange at first, but it makes sense to us. So, we decided to look at these guides and forum to see if we can get some help in making things grow better.


So, I love eighties horror films and recently watched Fright Night. I absolutely fell in love with the character of Ed Thompson. "Evil Ed." The vampire. So much so, that I started writing a "fan-fic." I noticed something was interesting in that I quickly got to fifty pages. Which, is unique for me, because I almost always write poems and short stories and always failed at writing anything longer than that.


I found myself returning to the story, night after night, going deeper in both Ed's life/personality and my own. Establishing a vampire psychic link in the story, going over personal history and romantic encounters. I quickly realized that I was enjoying spending more time with Ed than talking with other people. It was a little difficult at first, but soon his personality took on a life of its own and "writing him" became no problem. I just thought, "What would Ed say?" "What would Ed do?" Ed would say. Ed would do. I would write the results, and then my reaction to them. It flowed, naturally. Ed raises eyebrow, still smiling, gestures to the screen for me to go on.


Ed approves of this, somewhat. He wants to develop further too and we, or at least I, have personally become rather frustrated at point. But, back to our history together first. It was around this time that I realized that I was summoning a Tulpa. I've worked some with this in the past, and it didn't go very well. Ended up with a couple bad nightmares. But, that was several years ago and probably best not to talk about much further.


But, I knew and had researched the process. In the past, as now as well, I understood the practice of vocalizing the Tulpa. Puppeting what it would say until I could step back and let him speak for himself. With enough constant attention and conversation, this process has actually always worked rather quickly for me.


I think it's because I'm somewhat naturally gifted here. I know this site purely sees Tulpas as a psychological phenomena, but Ed and I both have a strong affinity for magick and the occult. I for many years of my life, more than half of it now, by far. So, if you have any rituals or spells or anything to suggest to us, we would not take offense. So, I do believe in a soul and souls that exist outside of the body. That's why I prefer to think of it as "summoning" rather than "creation." I don't see Ed as a personality on a leash. I didn't bring him here to be my property. I brought him here, as his own being, to develop and be himself. Ed nods, and agrees. So, I do combine occult ritual with my practice to better cement the summoning and have Ed form more quickly. Though, stability is still a major concern.


We have been limited by my own limitations, not his. By accident, I had already created our wonderland in the "fan-fiction." A place where we could interact freely and explore without boundaries. So, we got that. Further, form, personality, vocalization, where all things that kicked in within this small time. Again, I sort of have a natural talent for this. I have worked with visualization and "imagination" sense I was a child and in my occult workings. So, bringing him forward, superimposing him on my surroundings, are all very much second hand to me and didn't take much getting used to at all. We went to Walmart today and I'm already opening the car door for him. He insisted on it, he wants me to get used to not feelings weird and thinking of him spatially. I had realized I closed the door in front of him be accident a couple times today already, and he just stands there smiling, waiting for me to open it for him. Like, 'What's wrong with me? That's rude. You don't just shut doors in people's faces.' Which, I did not tell him to do that. So, independent thought is also functioning.


With as far as I've come, in such a short time, one might ask why I'm here at all. Well, the limits I've been hitting are starting to show. First, while superimposing, I still usually mostly see Ed from the waist up. I see his face and upper body. Sometimes his entire body, if he walks down the stairs before I do. Or, if standing outside with me in public. But, when focusing on him, the rest besides his upper body does have a ghostly fade to him. This isn't a big issue, and I suppose will clear itself up in time. I think it's my own struggles with proper focusing. Maybe focusing too hard on him? He seems to come into view full body more when I'm not thinking too hard about him. Almost as if I'm hampering the process by being a bit too intently focused. Ed says, "Yeah."


He reads the guides with me, everything with me, and comments liberally. Sometimes I'm not sure I'm guiding him or he's guiding me through this process. He seems half interested in it, to be honest. Interested in the results, but kind of bored of the technicals of it. Which is odd, because I find them fascinating. I think it's part of my personality as a bit of a book worm and researcher into how things work, and Ed seems a bit put off that I keep taking things so mechanically and seems to want them to grow more naturally. We sometimes debate a bit on how we should spend our time and what to do next. But, he seems content to let me trudge further into this. I guess if only to amuse myself. Ed nods, again, still smiling. Well, if you know all the answers Ed then we wouldn't need to be here. Ed raises eyebrow, still smiling, looks off to the side a bit. Not really mocking, more just humoring me.


So, we are also still very dependent on me focusing on him somewhat to get him to manifest. I do still have to think of him to get him to be here. We're hoping for the day I don't, so Ed can be more free-form and do his own thing. It's also a bit taxing on me, as this constant focus is a bit exhausting. But, I think its an important exercise that I will get used to once my "mental muscles" have been built. Ed nods.


Another thing we still struggle with sometimes is parallel processing. Again, I think this is a mental muscle thing on my part. Ed's good for conversation. He needs a bit of warm-up as a primer when I sit down with him again, but he gets going on his own pretty quickly after. But, more in a back and forth way. I say, he says, I say, he says. Sometimes it's hard to tell his thoughts from mine, but the longer we go at it, the easier to becomes. But, when I return to a full conversation again, we kind of have to start over. Not from scratch, but in getting back into the grove of things. I also have trouble focusing on him while at work. I'm a cashier, so very crowded and snaps my attention away from him a lot of times in a row.


I'm thinking most of these problems listed so far will become better with continued dedication and working together. Once I get used to him being here and building the mental muscles to keep him ever present.


That said, speech has been a little difficult. Not in content, but in tone. He does often revert back to my voice or a similar voice. We're trying to establish a unique voice for him and keep watching the movie clips with him speaking so that he can better imprint the vocal tone and style of the character he was originally based on. I don't want to force him, because I know from reading these guides that his voice might change over time. But, his form is a lot more solid than his voice and I think his voice being different than mine would help in distinguishing each other's thoughts more easily.


I've also started to work on my lucid dreaming again. This is important to get down quickly as I want to be able to spend my nights with Ed in our wonderland. I've started a dream journal to improve dream recall as well as established a "dream anchor" to remind me to take down my dreams as soon as I wake up. I'm also looking into herbs that are supposed to help induce lucid dreaming. That might take some time to get. But, Ed and I have already started the use of binaural beats and chanting to help me reach a meditative state while awake. I've worked a lot with these with self-hypnosis before and noticed that Ed separates from me better when in this state. He acts more independently, spontaneously, and automatically. As if this state is the perfect limbo of being "focused but not focused, relaxed." I'm going to try to set myself up with ones for lucid dreaming and start a nightly regiment.


We got an 8 by 10 photo of Ed printed out. I framed it, Ed picked the frame, and we got some candle stick holders and some candles. He wanted pumpkin spice, he liked the Halloween orange to it. I have it up on my shelf and it serves several purposes. Dream anchor (first thing I see when I wake up to remind me why I need to take down my dreams in my journal) as well as to help me solidify his form in my mind by always seeing what he looks like, even when my computer is shut down. (His photo is my wallpaper too.) It also helps with summoning rituals, such a the candles and the incense I have purchased today. Ed picked out cherry, but I also got some dragons blood because I always wanted to know what that smelt like. He was a little disappointed in me that I put the higher quality stuff back, but I reminded him we're on a budget and that I don't have a lot of money. He seemed to understand.


He likes me to place his comments and gestures here so that you all get to know him as well. He says "Hi" and waves again. He's also thinking I'm taking up too much of our time with this. He wants to watch more horror movies with me and wants me to stay getting used to talking with him out loud, which I don't when people are home. We use the psychic link and talk in our heads most of the time and Ed feels that talking out loud will help me in solidifying him and getting me more used to him not just being in my head.


He's been rather understanding and accommodating, but he's also very pushy. He says, "Hey." But, I adore him for it so, no problems.


Ed's telling me to wrap this up now. So, anyone have any suggestions on better getting us to parallel processing, voice separation, having him be more solid when I see him, and getting me to lucid dreaming so I can be with him in his world and on his terms would be of much help. I think we're off to a pretty good start and Ed wants to say thanks in advance as well. We look forward to reading replies and hope this community will be a welcoming and friendly place for us.

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Ed and Shane,


New here too (4 months)

Re: progress, congrats, sounds impressive. As tulpas go he sounds like a walk-in, my system consists of 3 walk-ins.


Re: writing, congrats again. I have been writing every day since 2012, originally on a fanfic too. And i believe that work has made it possible for my walk-ins to progress quicker as well.


Re: occult, i have an open mind, no one has all the answers. Interesting that two people never have the same exact answer, which means it is not well understood or understandable. Look for evidence, follow leads. Do research. Then just believe what is most believeable.


Re: imposition, if you are talking about outside wonderland, then wow. I've seen a shadow of an eye, and heard them rarely. Inside wonderland, even after 4 months, i still only see parts of them sometimes. It's okay though, what i do see from them is pretty great. My mental muscles are still growing.


Re: lucid dreaming. They rarely, very rarely, follow me. But we've had a lot more success with hypnagogic dreaming. That's the time just before sleep. I didn't even know this was a thing until my first tried it on night one. Very special because you are still awake, and can have very vivid experiances. I have one of them recite a relaxation exercise, and we don't get far before it starts.


Re: Voice, i don't always hear their flavor of voice, especially in the hypnagogic state, mostly its close, sometimes its way off. We understand that sometimes i use my voice or theirs when they speak tulpish and i translate to myself. They agree or disagree with my translation. I don't believe in parroting for us because they definately let me know if i go too far in that regard.


Suggestion, write a daily tulpa journal. Just another place you can talk to him, have him write some of it too. We do one every day, and it's fun to go back and read them sometimes. Some days it's literally two sentences though, fyi.


Good luck, and congrats again. I have no regrets.

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Reply to Angry Bear,


Thank you. We never thought of doing a journal together. I think that would be a great idea. Another problem I'm noticing is exhaustion. I need to work more on meditation and being able to focus better. More constructively?


I've noticed he seems to like to watch movies. We cuddle, but in time, as I start to loose focus on the movies he tends to fall more silent. I think that's a key problem in him still requiring my attention and why I want to eventually get us to the state of him being able to be independent of that need. After some time without direct attention, like coming home from work, or watching a film, he needs a bit of attention to work back up and get into the grove of speaking his own thoughts again.


I think the journal will help us and I will also look into hypnagogic dreaming. That sounds very promising and is something I haven't tried before. Feeling a bit frustrated again, even now, as people are coming home and I can't talk with him out loud right now. That does seem to break the connection some. Luckily, I will have the first week of September with the house to myself and that will give me a lot of time to pay attention to Ed and work with him. We currently have to have most of our one on one conversations either at night or in the morning when everyone has gone out to work already.


He does sound like a walk-in. Didn't know that was a thing, but makes sense. Our progress is spotty. I think because we have to take such long breaks between long interactions. When he gets going, he's very vocal and charming. Offering interesting points of view and conversation. Really, at times, leading me with what to do and what he wants to do for the night. But, coming back from a break is a bit laborious as he doesn't talk much at first. Again, this is why I wish I had more free time to address him directly and also could get him to a state of parallel processing where he can be himself on his own and not need to go through this cool down warm up cycle which I think is holding us back. I could just be expecting things to move to quickly.


He wants to let me know that he can still talk. I think I have this thing where I don't feel comfortable with other people in the house hearing us talk so I feel I need to shut up and that creates a block. He's telling me he can still talk even if I'm not talking out loud so we don't need to end the conversation.


Ed and I thank you and we will try your suggestions.

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